Sex, Violence, Crime
by misssixty1
Summary: Munch gets tangled up against his will with one of his more complicated victims, an 18 year old singer-dancer. Rated M for language, sex, and violence throughout.*Chapters 1-9 rewritten as of 7/23/13.*
1. Discovery

**A/N: I STILL DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise. It's nice to go back and relive this story a little bit as I rewrite it, and look from where I've come as a writer. **

**Discovery**

"You honestly can't expect me to believe your bullshit!"

The night exploded in a mixture of anger and betrayal, the scorned screams of a woman mixing in with the soulful sounds of the city below. Car horns honked, traffic roared, and next door, the unmistaken sounds of revelry echoed and bounced off the walls as the club boomed away.

"And _you _can't honestly expect me to sit here, and admit to your ridiculous accusations!"

In the city that never slept, amongst the millions and millions, bustling about as they lived their everyday lives, a married couple by the name of Steven and Katie found themselves arguing amidst the evening chorus, hurt and rage radiating from her large green eyes, and sheer panic blossoming in his brown ones.

For one year now they had lived together in the home which they planned to begin their life in. It was really a joyous affair, after dating for three years, and being the "office romance" of their marketing corporation.

"Accusations Steven, really? Do you honestly believe I naturally just make this kind of stuff up?" Katie retaliated, blonde hair falling in front of her beet-red face.

Ah, but how things change.

"Isn't that what you're doing?" her husband shot back, heart beating wildly in his chest as he stood on the precipice of what could be the dissolution of his marriage. A marriage which had not even made it to its sophomore year.

"I'm _making it up_? Then what is this!"

Immediately, Steven became visibly panicked as his fierce façade quickly slipped away, replaced by that of a man who knew he had done wrong, however, would still do whatever it took to hold onto his pride.

In the hand of the petite blonde he thought he was in love with, as a small Nokia phone, glistening menacingly beneath the harsh lighting of their "ultra-mod" apartment. As Steven stared at the phone, he silently and foolishly tried to con himself into believe that Katie had played the role of dutiful wife well, and would never go through his phone, however, as he stared at her tear-stricken face, he knew this was not the story.

"W-what the hell are you doing with my phone?" he stuttered slightly, trying to put himself back together as he did the only thing he could defensively: try and portray her invasiveness of his privacy as a bigger travesty than his philandering.

"You left it on the kitchen before you went to work and someone texted you. I was going to bring it to you but then the bitch wouldn't stop." Katie replied, lip quivering dangerously.

Steven stared, caught in a moment where the truth was openly out, and he had no idea just how to go about or what to say.

"Fine I admit it…I slept with her." He finally sighed, hoping his confession would still some of his wife's anger. He was 30 years old, and although he had friends that were still single, he was more than 1/3 of the way finished with his life. Did he really want to be alone? He wanted kids, the white picket fence (so to speak, this was New York City after all). How could he do that as a fresh divorcee in his 30's?

Face contorted in an emotional grimace, Katie grabbed a high-ball glass off the kitchen counter and hurled it with all her might at her husband, missing by mere millimeters. As the glass shattered with the counter behind it, Steven jerked wildly, throwing himself out of the way of the falling shards and looking at what his wife had done.

In that moment, all guilt and sorrow he felt for his crimes were gone, replaced with a maddening anger at the destruction of not only a quality piece of kitchenware, but her own willingness to bring physical harm to him. He, Steven Hilliard, would not be hurt by anybody. Not by any man, and surely not his own wife, who stood at merely 5'2'' and 120 pounds.

"You fucking bitch!" he spat, eyes alive with fire that invoked fear into his wife's heart "do you know how much that cost?"

Eyes wide with fear and heart thumping rapidly in her chest, Katie stood frozen in her spot, unable to do anything but watch as her husband lunged towards her, grabbing her by her upper arms and raising a hand.

A bloodcurdling scream suddenly flew through the open window in the living room, tearing them from their violent ordeal and jolting the disheveled lovers from their spot and towards the living room. Pushing each other out of the way, they wrestled to crane their bodies out the window and get a view of what had caused the high-pitched scream.

Gaining leverage over his wife, Steven squinted his eyes in the darkness, trying to study the alleyway which resided beneath their window. Under the flashing neon lights of the club next door, he could just make out two shadowy figures. One tore through the alleyway, leaving behind a small mass huddled on the floor.

"There's someone down there." Steven muttered to himself, unconsciously loud enough so that his wife could hear.

Without thinking, he bolted from the window, making his way for the front door of their apartment and heading down the staircase. Katie followed suit, and together, they raced down four flights of stairs before rushing out into the chilly fall air, adrenaline and nerves pumping wildly through their bodies.

Turning into the alleyway, Steven threw out an arm, stopping his wife just as they approached the mouth.

"Stop!" he hissed, in a voice more protective than angry.

"What? Why?" Katie exclaimed, eyes darting about wildly as the likelihood of danger poked at the forefront of her mind.

Without a word, Steven pointed to a large footprint on the ground, causing Katie to gasp in shock. Glistening beneath the artificial light, was the unmistakable sticky red fluid that they both knew to be blood. Looking at each other, Steven swallowed, before turning to the mouth of the alleyway, and stepping in cautiously.

With each step, Steven swore he could feel a pair of eyes at the back of his neck, some predatory force watching him through the shadows. Body tense, he stalked slowly through the alley before coming upon the mass he saw earlier.

Immediately, he inhaled sharply as he gazed down at the form below him, only to find a woman with closed eyes. Kneeling down quickly, his eyes flitted over her before noticing a pool of blood surrounding her. She lay on her back, arm thrown over her face dramatically like some prima donna with luscious red curls and full red lips.

Carefully pulling her into his arms, Steven rolled her onto her stomach to find two bloody markings in her back, covered in blood. Feeling himself shake, he quickly picked her up, cradling her in his arms and praying that she could be moved. Immediately, his bare arms were covered in the sickening fluid and one glance revealed that her clothes were shredded to piece, leaving her mostly bare.

Staggering beneath her solid frame, Steven approached his wife who waited with her hands clapped together nervously.

"Honey, get upstairs and call the police. Tell them there's a girl who needs medical attention immediately, and I think may have been raped!"

Katie nodded her blonde head and took off like a pixie, disappearing into the building. Struggling under the weight of the girl, Steven began to slow ascension, hoping he would run into a neighbor who would help them, but knowing he wouldn't. Over the past year, he had not been very kind to his fellow neighbors, and from that, became isolated around the complex.

Finally catching the sight of their door, Steven barged through, thankful his wife had left it ajar and stumbled across the apartment wildly, trying to get the girl out of his hands as quickly as possible.

Without thinking, he deposited her on the red couch, arms shaking from the physical exertion and the whole situation in general. As he looked down at her, he first noticed her beauty. Beneath the light of his apartment it was evident that she could not be a streetwalker.

"The police and ambulance are on their way. Should I do anything?" Katie suddenly said beside him, voice wavering audibly.

Steven looked down at his wife. He was streaked in blood, she was streaked in tears. Standing silently in their apartment, they both gazed at the girl who had suddenly come into their lives, stopping what would have likely been a damaging scenario for the both of them. Wanting nothing more than the comfort of his wife, Steven let his bloodied arm fall around her shoulder. Scooping her small frame into his own, his kissed the top of her forehead and together they both stood. Resting her head on his chest, Katie silently whispered to him, letting him know everything was forgiven, but certainly not forgotten.

* * *

"What have we got here?" Detective Elliot Stabler said loudly as he and his partner Olivia Benson made their entrance into the apartment. The two cops were the finest of their squad, a unit specializing in sex crimes.

To the naked eye, there were a lovely couple of professionals no doubt, Olivia with her voluminous brown hair and dazzling smile, and Elliot with his masculine frame.

"We've got a female. 18, named Jodi Stanford. Found in the alley next door, raped, closed slashed to ribbons, and letters carved in her back." Said an EMT as soon as they entered the kitchen.

Olivia stopped, turning to the young boy incredulously.

"Did you just say 'letters carved in her back'?" she squinted, wondering if she had heard the boy right.

"Yeah, set of initials. R.F. I believe."

"Jesus." Olivia hissed under her breath. "Is she going to live?" she asked, turning to the young brunette EMT.

"Oh yeah, don't worry she's alright! The wounds were shallow, but we do need to get her down to the hospital to do stitches and a rape kit. We're trying to get a stretcher up here now, she's over in the living room on the couch if you want to talk to her."

His voice pled for attention, something Olivia didn't even register as she turned to face the living room and the young girl inside. Without a word, she made her way along with Elliot into the next room, immediately catching sigh of the redhead on the couch huddled beneath the green fleece blanket.

Turning back to the EMT quickly, she raised her eyes as his own widened in excitement.

"Who found her?"

"The homeowners. Steven and Katie Hickler. Said they heard her scream outside-"

"-So much for the Genovese Theory." Olivia cut him off, spinning on her heel and making her way back toward the young girl.

"Jodi Stanford?" Elliot asked, pulling his badge out as they approached her.

Jodi looked up, huddled in the small blanket and gave a small smile.

"Yeah that's me."

"I'm Detective Stabler, this is Detective Benson. We're with the Special Victims Unit we deal with sex crimes. Can you tell me about what happened tonight?" Elliot said, flashing his badge. Olivia did so as well, and Jodi pulled the blanket tightly around her body.

"Um…yeah. I work at the club next door. I went outside for a smoke break and this guy came up to me. I thought he was one of the guys from the club at first, then he grabbed me by my neck and threw me down. And…well, you get the jist from there." She shrugged, looking away from the two.

"Know what he looked like?" Elliot asked, tilting his head to the side as he examined her carefully. Sure enough, there was a small bruise from a hand on her neck. He had grabbed her harshly enough to leave a mark.

"No, he was wearing a mask the entire time. And gloves. A glove of both kinds, before you ask." She looked back up at him, eyes floating down to his groin to emphasize her double meaning.

"Wasn't going to." Elliot replied as he raised his eyebrows and took a step back slightly, signaling to Olivia she had just stepped past his comfort zone.

"Stretcher's up here, we need to get her to the hospital!" someone exclaimed, interrupting the tense scene.

"You taking her to Lenox Hill?" Olivia asked, turning to one of the EMT's. He nodded in response, and she turned to her partner.

"I'm going to drive up there, why don't you scout the crime scene?"

"Fine with me." Elliot said, before glancing over at Jodi. She slowly stood, a noticeable limp in her gait. As she did so, Elliot caught a hint of her inner thigh, which was streaked with blood and quickly looked away.

"Ms. Stanford, I'm going to follow you to the hospital, is that alright?" Olivia asked.

"Please, I was absolutely _dying _to have a social engagement." Jodi replied, voice dripping with ice.

As she was helped onto the stretcher, Olivia looked back at Elliot.

"Attitude like that? This is going to be fun." She sighed, putting her hands into her back pockets.

"And a hell of a lot of paperwork." Elliot concluded.

* * *

**Room of Jodi Stanford**

**Lenox Hill Hospital**

**Sunday, October 20****th**

Jodi sighed as she watched the scrub-clad nurse depart from her room, slamming the door unceremoniously behind her.

She had been awake for three hours, after a long night of questioning from Detective Benson, and extremely uncomfortable rape kit, and being prodded and stitched up after her ordeal.

Despite her evident discomfort and need for recovery, the cops from the Special Victims Unit seemed to care extremely little for her fatigue. Several minutes ago, she had been informed that a detective would be in to talk to her, causing Jodi to not only become irritated, but also nervous for the encounter.

Grabbing a cup of subpar applesauce from the tray table beside her bed, she swallowed a spoonful miserably and slammed it back onto the tray.

Jodi hated hospitals, and for very good reason. The huge complexes often housed the smell of death and urine, mixed with thousands of germs and bacteria and the dying.

Ever since she was a child, the wallpapered walls and formaldehyde scented floors drove horrific images through her head, and brought about severe bouts of nausea and unparalleled fear. It was bad enough for her to visit. Now she had spent the night (fitfully) in one, and could physically feel her skin crawl as she prayed to be released soon.

Three sharp raps against the door suddenly pulled Jodi from her thoughts, and she looked up as her door swung open slowly and two men walked into the room. One was black, clad in a leather coat and black shirt, head thrown back in an air of stereotypical cockiness and intimidation as he made his way towards Jodi's bed. The other was a rail-thin elderly man, with white hair and dark eyes that twinkled with a spark of youth so fierce it made Jodi focus on him for another second.

"Jodi Stanford?" The black one asked. She simply nodded in return, and watched as he pulled a badge from his coat pocket, dread crawling through her immediately.

"I'm Detective Tutuola, this is my partner Detective Munch, we're with the Special Victims Unit. We're here to ask you some questions about your rape."

The word _rape _jabbed at Jodi sharply, like the fine point of a knife. It disgusted her, and sent the memories reeling as she felt her attacker pushing inside of her forcefully, making sure each thrust ripped and tore at the delicate tissue of her womanhood.

To say that she was attacked, simply made her feel more at ease. Jodi could think of the encounter as nothing more than assault, and forget the fact that she had been violated violently, but with the word "rape", it stirred something within her. Through her easy-going façade, emotions welled and tumbled within Jodi like waves on a hurricane-ridden ocean. With every thought back to the moment where she feared for her life, terror and self-loathing rushed through her. Loathing for the fact that she had been so weak, she simply laid there and whimpered as he pushed inside of her.

"Don't you all talk to each other? I talked to Detective Benson last night." She replied, looking away as her face burned.

"Yeah but we need to get some details in. Besides, Detective Benson is currently working another case." The white-haired man suddenly cut in, his voice dripping with faux concern that told Jodi he had spent so many years in this job that it may have been hard to feel genuine emotion for a victim.

"Details like what?" Jodi asked, looking him over carefully, and finding solace in his handsome face and lanky build. For some reason, he set her at ease, even without even saying anything.

"Well, what happened last night for starters. A lot of vics change their stories within the first few hours of their attack. We just need to go over everything and see if there's anything else you can remember, alright?"

His tone was warm, pulling Jodi for a moment from the horrific memories that now tumbled around in her mind. Nodding quietly, she inhaled deeply, before looking straight ahead as she tried to remember ever detail from the previous night.

"I work at the club, so I went outside after my number to grab a smoke-"

"Was anyone following you?" the black detective cut in, causing Jodi's temper to flare.

"I think I'd know if someone was following me! And even if not, how can you know if you don't let me finish the damn story?" she snapped.

She watched as he and his partner exchanged looks with one another, before the white-haired detective took over.

"Sorry about that Ms. Stanford, go on." He apologized.

His partner glanced at him for a moment, and again, Jodi felt her rage subside before clearing her throat which had suddenly gotten dry.

"I was…I was going out to have a smoke, and _no one was following me_." She shot before continuing. "I pulled out a cigarette, lit up, and then…I felt hands around my neck. Grabbing really tightly. So tight I couldn't breathe. Then he threw me on the ground and pinned me down. I remember wondering what the hell was going on before adrenaline started to kick in. I tried to knee him off of me, but he put his knees on my thighs so I couldn't move and squeezed my neck so I couldn't breathe. I kept trying to fight him off but then he pulled out a knife and held it close to my neck. I could feel the point pressing into my skin, and I knew he would slit my throat. So I let him take off my clothes. He kept the knife to my neck while he got his pants off, the put his hands in between my thighs and…"

Jodi trailed off, the words stuck in her throat as the thought sent a searing pain to her nether regions.

"It's alright, we've got it." The white-haired detective said with a sigh, before stepping over and glancing down at Jodi, his dark eyes swimming with emotion that made Jodi want to fall into his arms and let the tears flow.

"Thanks." She murmured, so softly that it was not heard.

"One more thing Ms. Stanford, if that's okay. There were a set of initial carved into your back…" he trailed off, just as Jodi paled.

"Yeah." She said quietly.

"Do you know what they say?" he continued.

At this, Jodi found herself momentarily intrigued. Once she had arrived at the hospital, she had been cleaned, sewn up, bandaged, tested for diseases (in case the condom broke), and had a rape kit run. Through all the barked orders and clipped voices, she did not know just what the initials said, and no one seemed very keen on telling her.

"No. No one's told me. I didn't even know they were initials, they just hurt like hell. Will you…" she trailed off, glancing at the white-haired detective and sitting up, ignoring the searing pain that screamed from her mutilated flesh.

He stood, glancing at his partner again.

"I'm not sure we should do that. I'll go get the nurse." He said.

"No please! I'd rather you do it." She pleaded, face coloring with her declaration.

"Munch, what are you-" the black detective began before his partner cut him off. Detective Munch walked over to Jodi slowly, face wrinkled intently as he glanced at Jodi's bandaged back, exposed by her open hospital gown.

Letting her hand find the tape which held the gauze wrapped around her midsection, Jodi peeled it back, feeling the gauze loosen. Grasping at the fabric, she began to unravel the layers slowly, making it to the padded bandage that covered her back.

Detective Munch leaned forward, grasping the edges and lifting them lightly, tearing Jodi's flesh along with them. She winced, gritting her teeth as the cold air hit her sore skin. Just as the pain began, Jodi found herself inhaling the scent of subtle cologne, warm notes of Autumn.

"It says 'R.F.'" Detective Munch suddenly stated, placing the bandage back.

"Than an ex of yours?" his partner said, causing Jodi to twitch as she glanced over at him.

"Cute, but no. I don't even know anyone by those initials." She replied as her fingers grasped at the white gauze once more. Looking up at Detective Munch, she inhaled is scent once more, feeling it soothe her frazzled nerves.

"Can you help me with this?" she asked.

He simply looked at her for a moment, before backing away.

"You can have the nurse help you with that. Thanks for your time, we'll call you if we need anything else." He said.

With that, the two men backed away, the door slamming shut behind them and leaving Jodi on the bed, back exposed to the air and emptiness blossoming inside of her.

* * *

"Man, what the hell was that?"

John Munch glanced over at his partner as they walked down the crowded hallway of the hospital, away from Jodi's room.

"What was what?" he shot back.

"Going all easy on her? You know we're not going to get anything like that."

"Did you see her man? She looked like she was about to fall to pieces, she couldn't handle anything else."

"Neither can half the other vics we see but it has be done while the details are still fresh, you know that."

John ignored his partner before tapping on the back of a nurse.

"Jodi Stanford, room 211 needs to be rebandaged."

The woman nodded, before walking away with a clipboard in hand as John and Fin made their way out of the hospital.

Something that happened when they had walked into Jodi's hospital room, and he saw her there, red hair glimmering beneath the dull lights and green eyes sparkling lightly. Granted, he had always had a weakness for reds, but this girl was something different entirely. While she was evidently upset from her ordeal, she still kept a strong face, something that made him both admire and worry for her. Part of him was afraid she would keep everything bottled up, the other part was certain she had just moved on.

But more than that, was the way she had looked at him. The first time he spoke, her eyes swam with something John hadn't seen in years, and had come to loathe.

She had doe-eyes, pleading with unspoken sadness for John to give her everything he wanted. Women were truly evil, but the thing was, it felt as though perhaps she was not even trying. What would her motive be? What would she get out of seducing him?

She stayed with him on the ride all the way down to the precinct, Jodi Munch, his newest case, and by far the most interesting person he had met in a long time.


	2. Continuity

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise. I also do not own the rights to Christina Aguilera's **_**Nasty Naughty Boy, **_**or Doris Day's **_**Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps**_**.**

**Continuity**

_**4 Days Later**_

Jodi stepped out of the taxicab, a mixture of excitement and relief boiling within her as she breathed free air, free of the scent of formaldehyde and urine.

Grabbing a handful of twenties from her purse, she handed the crisp bills to her driver with a smile, stepping backward and making her way toward the club, her real home.

She had been released from the hospital the previous day with promises that she would stay in bed for a few days to recover both mentally and physically from her ordeal, a promise that was going to be broken without apology.

Dodging traffic, she grasped her purse tightly as she made her way across the street, droplets of rain spattering her red head as she bounced across the pavement in her Nike's and shorts, approaching the building that was her second home.

As she hit the sidewalk, her eyes flitted to the left as she glanced at the yellow-taped alleyway, long abandoned by cops but still "restricted", the alleyway that haunted her dreams now, as she thought of being pinned down on the cold ground, dirty and old discarded gum rubbing against her skin as her rapist moved inside of her violently and mercilessly.

Swallowing as nausea began to build up inside her, she tried to push away the horrific memory as she made her way to the front door of the club, grasping the silver door handle and pulling it open, walking through the red double doors and into the empty club inside.

Beneath the dim lights, several waitresses milled about, straightening tables and chairs and they prepared for the evening, which would arrive in three hours, bringing with it dozens upon dozens of horny and lonely men, pockets full of money and hearts full of desire as they found escape from their lives in the beautiful women onstage before them.

Following the black lacquer floor, she walked to red curtain, stepping through and emerging into a blank white corridor on the other side, the glitz and glamor of the club replaced with a bland hall dotted with doors on either side.

Hitching her purse over her shoulder again, Jodi wrapped her arms around her body, clinging to her New York University hoodie as the air conditioning bit at her skin through the heavy fleece, raising tiny bumps along the flesh of her arms and erecting the small hairs.

Feeling hair brush the nape of her neck, Jodi reached up, pulling her thick hair from its ponytail and wrapping the small band around it once more, tucking in the loose lock of hair.

As she did so, she caught a small whiff of the floral notes that rested against her neck and wrists, a gift from one of the many clients who had come to visit her during her stay in the hospital, offering their condolences for her attack, and some promising threats to whoever had hurt her.

But through it all, the visitor that resonated in Jodi's mind the most was the one person who had no choice of being there: Detective John Munch.

Through the days she spent in therapy and with the doctors checking her back, she could not stop thinking about his voice, soft, comforting, or the warm eyes behind his glasses which were full of silent reassurance, even when she knew that things were certainly not going to be okay.

What stayed with Jodi the most though, was the way he looked at her. His eyes didn't study her the way men usually did, glancing at her body hungrily in a way that could only mean one thing. Men who were gay usually harped over her looks, which Jodi herself could say were superb, without fear of cockiness, but her looks were all they dwelled on, or wanted to dwell on, not her intelligence or talent. She was nothing but a pretty woman, something that frustrated Jodi to no end.

When Detective Munch had looked upon her, his eyes spoke not of desire, or even pity, but as though he was really listening to what she said, something men rarely looked upon Jodi with.

Besides that, his looks intrigued her. He was undoubtedly older, but handsome at that. In a world where her main clients were men, she had seen it all, and been with a good number, but the appeal of an older man rang out to her, someone who was more mature, more experienced, and Detective Munch seemed to be just that. He was handsome, wise, and it had seemed compassionate. Jodi had made the assumption that one would have to be to work in a line of duty such as the Special Victims Unit, and against her better judgment, a small voice in her head wondered if she was attracted to him.

Moving down the corridor, Jodi stopped at the last door, decorated with Christmas lights and her name on the front, surrounded by childish gold stars reminiscent of her childhood dream to become a world-renowned dancer, selling out performances at the Kennedy Center and dancing _Swan Lake _at the Bolshoi.

Pulling a key from her purse, she slid it into the lock in the handle and turned, opening the door and stepping inside.

Flicking on the light switch, the room came alive, looking just the way she had left it. Racks of clothing lined the walls, and makeup and hair products cluttered the vanity.

Moving across the room to one of the racks, Jodi tossed her purse onto the floor, sorting through the clothing as she picked out a costume for the evening.

Pulling a hanger free, she glanced at the glittery silver dress, holding it up to her body and walking over to her mirror to look at herself.

It seemed as though over the course of the past few days, the beauty she had fought so hard to keep, that she foolishly and immaturely thought she had have forever was diminishing, dark circles appearing beneath her eyes along with worry lines across her forehead.

Sitting down at the mirror, she pulled her hair from the ponytail, letting her wild locks tumble down and hesitated, before looking away from the mirror as tears pricked at the back of her eyes, a lump rising in her throat.

She wanted it to all be over. She wanted to rewind, and keep the entire thing from ever having happened. Through the strong face she kept in public, she could still see and feel him, it seemed impossible to escape his rough touch.

Leaning forward, Jodi took a deep breath, sniffing and looking up, before grabbing her curling iron and plugging it in. She had not cried yet, and she would not. She was strong, and this time around, she would not be weak.

* * *

John Munch sat at his desk, twirling a pen between his fingers as he tried to free his brain from the grueling paperwork that sat at his desk, paperwork he was completely unable to concentrate on at the given time.

Leaning back in his chair, he listened to the phones ringing. Since the rape of Jodi Stanford, things had slowed down, which generally meant there would be a flood of crimes within the next few days, if not the following.

That did not mean there had been no work however. Jodi Stanford's rape had them running around in circles, as men called in asking whether the perp had been caught, despite the fact that the trail had run cold. Whoever had raped her was good, leaving absolutely no trace, making sure there were no eyewitnesses, and doing nothing that could draw attention of police in the area.

With each of these calls, John found it hard to keep his mind off of Jodi. Of course she never strayed far, being the main case he was working on at the time, but the apparent fact that she was popular with the male population of Manhattan for a moment made him wonder if perhaps she had really been raped, but the look in her eyes when he had talked to her told him otherwise. Those large eyes that threatened to break with tears. She had been trying to keep it together, but he could see she was struggling.

The sound of bounding footsteps suddenly drew his attention as he looked up to find Elliot, running through the squad room.

"We got another rape! Same as Jodi only this time vic is dead. Munch, you get to Jodi's work and find out if she can remember anything else, I'm going down to the crime scene." Elliot said, grabbing his keys and nodding to Olivia. She grabbed her jacket, and John stood up with Fin, grabbing a business card that Elliot shoved into his hand.

Looking down, he glanced at the small glossy card, a picture of Jodi on the front, red hair tumbling down the side of her head and green eyes turned up in a smoldering gaze. Her full lips were turned up in a sultry smile, and John found himself entranced in her feline-like eyes, which whispered seductively like some siren of the sea. Across from the headshot were scripted letters, reading:

_Jodi Stanford, 38-21-32_

_Call for personal appointments_

Beneath was the address and phone number for the club, a lower East Side party scene place that sent a trill of excitement through John.

Standing up, he let the card slide into his pocket, glancing at his partner and grabbing his jacket. Pulling it on, he adjusted his glasses, unable to deny that deep down, the excitement had not come from hitting up the scene he once frequented as a young man, but seeing Jodi Stanford.

* * *

**La Maison de Rouge et Noir**

**8092 State St.**

**Wednesday, October 21****st**

John grabbed for his badge as he made his way down the street past the line of men waiting to get in. Ignoring the groans of anger as they stepped to the front of the line and to the bouncer.

Flashing his badge at the hulking brute, the man looked down at it, before glancing between him and Fin.

"That supposed to mean something?" he asked in a deep voice.

"Yeah, it means we're cops man." Fin jutted forward, puffing his chest out.

"Yeah I get that, so unless you've got business here, get to the back of the line with the others." The bouncer crossed his arms, staring down at Fin.

"We're here to talk to Jodi Stanford. She was raped next door the other day, maybe you should be looking after your dancers instead of playing guard dog." John said before Fin could strike up an altercation.

He clenched his jaw for a moment, as though considering a comment before stepping aside, lifting a velvet rope and letting John and Fin past, into the two open red double doors.

Music poured out onto the street, the undeniable sounds of a live band coming through.

The moment they stepped past the double doors, John's senses were overloaded as sights, sounds, and smells hit him all at once. Waitresses in skimpy red and black uniforms milled about serving drinks to glass tables beneath the lights. A bar covered the wall on the left side, the sweet smells of various liquors reaching John's nose as he looked up to find a woman standing on the bar, pouring drink down one of her legs and letting a man lick it from her flesh.

"Welcome to 21st century debauchery." John muttered as a waitress bounced up to them, perky breasts outlined by a thin top that gave a preview of pierced nipples beneath.

"Welcome to The House. Can I get you guys a table tonight or a seat at the bar?" she chirped, a southern twang dripping from her perfect white teeth and red glossed lips.

"We need to talk to Jodi Stanford." Fin said, flashing his badge at the waitress threw back her head, letting out a laugh.

"Oh honey you don't have to show that, table just opened up around the front. Must be your first time, I haven't seen you around. Follow me, Jodi's just getting warmed up."

With that, she spun on her heel before either had the chance to say anything, leading them through the horny customers, sitting on the edge of their seats and staring intently at whoever was onstage.

A sultry voice carried to John's ears, someone with surprising talent that he could not see. Paying no mind, he continued to follow the waitress, eyes flitting down to her round backside before they finally stopped in front of an empty table.

"Here you go. Can I get you guys any drinks?" she asked.

"No." John said, and she nodded before stepping out of the way, drawing his attention to the sultry redhead on stage.

"Is that?" he looked over at his partner quickly, whose face showed an equal amount of surprise.

Standing before them atop the stage was none other than Jodi, clad in a tight gold sparkly dress that clung to every part of her body in a way that was hard to ignore. The cut pushed her breasts forward, making it look as though she would topple over if it weren't for the curves throughout her body. As John stared, he found himself no longer looking at the helpless girl under the hospital gown he had met, but some kind of sex goddess. Suddenly, all the phone calls made sense, and John's breath hitched in his throat as her sultry voice hit his ears, lyrics spilling out of a curved mouth that made heat rise within him.

"_Ooo there I go again, I need your spankin', cause I've, been, baddd. So let my body do the talkin', I'll give you that hot, sweet, sexy lovin…"_

"You two just holler if you need something, name is Cyndi." The waitress said, and began to walk away before John shot out a hand and grabbed her wrist, still unable to tear his eyes from the stage.

"We need to talk to her." He finally said, tearing his eyes away and looking at Cyndi who ripped her wrist from his grip, rubbing it tenderly.

"You can't talk to her until after her set is over. Club policy." She shrugged.

"I don't think you understand, I'm Detective Munch, this is Detective Tutuola. We need to speak with her about her attack." John replied, cop mode sinking in with her unwillingness to cooperate.

"Hey, I don't make the rules okay. You can take it up with my boss."

Before they could even ask the same of said boss, she was gone, and John stood, unsure of where to go from here.

"So this is how a rape victim deals?" Fin said, disgust dripping from his tone. John said nothing, daring himself to turn back onstage where Jodi was using a white feather boa and dragging it all over her body seductively.

The dress was short enough to reveal miles upon miles of tanned legs, that ended in white stilettos. Instead of the disheveled hair John had seen previously, Jodi's red locks were set in large curls that framed her face, and smoky makeup which brought out her emerald eyes.

Grabbing an old-fashioned microphone, she growled seductively, eyes narrowed like a sphinx and red lips turned upward in a sultry grin.

"Might as well sit down if we have to wait." Fin sighed, pulling out a chair and plopping down unceremoniously. John followed suit, sitting down timidly and daring himself to look onstage at the minx who just the other day he was thinking about as a helpless damsel in distress.

Glancing up, John watched as Jodi grabbed the bottom of her dress, swinging her hips around and spinning, inching up the dress but never quite showing anything as she teased the crowd. All around men began to cheer, and John knew he would not be able to look away, even as she unzipped the dress from the side, and slowly pulled it down, revealing a surreal body barely covered by a sheer black lingerie set that left nothing to the imagination.

As she twirled the dress around her fingers, John stared at the pink nipples beneath sheer black fabric, testosterone raging. To his utter mortification, he felt a rush of blood surge to his nether regions, and as an impending erection began to grow, felt his pants tighten uncomfortably.

_At least you don't have ED. _He thought bitterly, hearing his heart pound in his ears. Quickly shifting positions, John crossed his legs and forced himself to look away from Jodi and to the man at the next table, who was shockingly enough a well-known U.S. senator.

Suddenly, the music died down and Jodi grabbed the mic with one hand, the dress tightly in the others.

"Now gentlemen, someone here tonight is going to take home a little piece of me tonight. This dress here has been on my tight, sweaty body. Who wants it?" she cooed, and immediately screams began to ring out around the club.

"Can I start with $5,000?" she arched an eyebrow and pursed her full lips like a cat.

"What idiot would by a worn dress for-" Fin began, before someone screamed "$10,000!"

The numbers began to climb, as a war of bids went back and forth. After five minutes, the senator beside them stood up, cupping his mouth before screaming:

"$30,000!"

The club fell entirely silent, all eyes drawn to him before, much to everyone's surprise, he was outbid.

A final number rang out, $45,000, and as Jodi handed over her dress to a waitress onstage who ran it off, John couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to hold the material in his hand and inhale her scent.

Grabbing the microphone once more, she cued the music and finished her song, giving a bow that was met with a standing ovation by nearly every man in the club.

"I need to get the hell out of here." John muttered, standing up and ignoring his partner's questions and he made his way through the club, weaving in and out of tables and going back the way he came.

Stepping outside, he walked the direction of Jodi's rape scene, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was unsure of what to think exactly at the moment. Here was a woman who had been brutally raped and mutilated, eyes silently pleading for mercy and help, but here she was onstage, showing her body for all the world to see, the girl he initially met gone.

Ducking under the tape, John made his way into the alley, stepping carefully as he looked back and forth. Sure enough, a dark spot on the pavement marked where she had lay on her back. Walking to the spot, John crouched down, studying the pavement carefully.

A few inches from the spot where her back was, was a small spattering of blood that undoubtedly came from the rape. Instantly, John felt for her again, staring at the tiny red droplets that came from being violated.

Sighing, he stood up, head snapping at the sound of a door creak further down the alley. Squinting his eyes, John could just make out a figure that approached him, coming into the light as none other than Jodi, clad in large sweatpants and an NYU sweatshirt.

"Detective Munch." She said, hands in the pocket of her sweatshirt. John remained firm in his spot, glancing down at the blood spatter and back up to her.

"Are you sure you should be out here Ms. Stanford?" he asked, tensing as she looked at the spot and blanched.

"Call me Jodi, and this is still my place to come have a smoke. I'm not going to run away because of what happened." She shrugged, digging into her pocket and pulling out a pack of Marlboro Reds black Zippo.

"It's not a matter of running away, it just doesn't seem healthy to be in a place where something like that happened to you." John furrowed his brow, studying her carefully as she lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. The saucy minx he had seen onstage was gone, replaced with a woman who seemed to be struggling to exist.

"Neither is smoking, but here I am doing it anyway. So, you come for the show tonight?" she asked, taking a drag of the cigarette. As she exhaled, John noted her full lips, turned downward into a frown.

"No, we came to see you."

"Me? How flattering." She deadpanned. For a moment, John considered putting a hand on her shoulder for comfort, but decided against it, not wanting to lead her into ease with the news he was about to deliver.

"Jodi…listen, I'm sorry to tell you this, but someone else was raped. We think it was the same guy, but this time he killed her."

John watched her face carefully as it slackened, all emotions disappearing to be replaced with a gaunt parody of its former glory, sparkling eyes dim and coy grin turned into a Cheshire frown.

"Shit." She swore, bringing a hand to her forehead and grimacing. John stepped closer to her, wanting to reach out and bring her to his chest. He could almost feel the emotion threatening to boil over as she clenched her first tightly, digging her nails into her skin.

"Listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, we need to review your statement again, see if you can remember anything else. Sometimes stuff can come after a couple times."

Jodi said nothing, only nodded, tossing the cigarette onto the ground before stomping it out and putting her hands on her head, running them through her girls as she clenched her jaw tightly.

"Of course. Well, I've got another song in twenty. After that you guys can come to my dressing room and I'll talk to you guys again." Jodi spoke in a hollow voice, and John nodded as she turned around, walking back toward the door.

Hesitating, he followed her, stepping closely as they made their way to the back door.

"Mind if I walk you in?" he asked, wanting to make sure that if she finally broke down, she would not be alone.

"Sure." She murmured, and they walked together in silence, even as Jodi pulled open the door they turned inside, the cold fall air turning into plain white corridors.

As they approached a door with Jodi's name, she stopped turning toward him and looking up into his brown eyes with her own green ones. As she did so, John could see they watered dangerously.

"Thanks for escorting me back in." she breathed, pulling down the door handle. "I'll see you guys in a few."

With that, she opened the door and stepped inside, giving John a ghost of a smile and closing it behind her.

John remained where he stood, picking up a mixture of floral notes and amber, the scent wrapping around his brain and pulling at him as he thought about just how warm her skin felt under those baggy clothes.

Spinning around, John navigated the white corridors, trying to make his way around before finally stepping through a red curtain and finding himself on the other side of the club once more. Glancing up at the stage, he found himself looking at a thin woman with straight blonde hair that fell down her back and a pair of thigh-high black latex boots, swinging around a pole with gravity-defying moves.

Moving back to his table, he sat down next to Fin, straightening his jacket and looking up at the woman onstage easily, chuckling internally as she moved with her A-Cups and slim waist. She had nothing on Jodi, that was certain, and much to his ease he found himself able to look onstage without struggling to fight his arousal.

"Where'd you go?" Fin turned to him.

"For a breath of fresh air, I ran into Jodi. She's going to be done in a half I think."

Fin stared at him for a moment, before turning back to the stage.

* * *

Jodi slowly spread lipstick around her full lips, feeling emptiness bloom inside of her as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror.

Detective Munch's words played in her head over and over again as she thought about the girl who had died, silently wanting to scream to the heavens and beg forgiveness for her failure to help capture the man who had raped her. She should have done so many things during her attack, she could have scratched him, bit him, even licked him perhaps! Anything to get DNA, and perhaps have him sitting in a jail cell, even now.

But she had done none of those things, and now there was a dead girl on her. A girl who would never again return home to her mother or father or boyfriend or whoever she had left.

A knock on the door suddenly stirred her attention, along with a quick time warning.

"Ten minutes!" a voice spoke briskly, and Jodi stood up, adjusting her dress quickly before grabbing a pair of black kitten heels and sliding them on, turning to glance at herself in the mirror once more and applying a lust puff of hairspray to her red hair, which was completely pinned back in a bun.

Slamming her door and locking it, Jodi made her way down the corridor quickly and to the stage curtain, waiting for the girl ahead of her to wrap up so she could go on.

Glancing down, she looked at her nails for a moment, she glanced up as a thin blonde named Alexis stepped through the curtain, wearing nothing but a pair of thigh-high latex stilettos.

Without even acknowledging Jodi's presence, Alexis threw back her blonde head, nose upturned and stepped past Jodi without another word.

"And now, for her second song of the evening we bring back the one, the only, Jodi Stanford performing Doris Day's flamenco classic." A deep voice boomed, and Jodi waited for the applause to begin, tossing the curtains aside and stepping onstage, a smile plastered on her face so radiant that for a moment, even she believed that she was happy.

Standing in the middle of the stage, she lifted her hands above her head, glancing over at the band and nodding.

The guitar began to belt out a spicy Spanish beat, and Jodi swayed, looking into the dark mass of crowd before her and stomping her feet against the floor loudly along with the beat.

Dancing around the stage she closed her eyes, spinning around and for a moment, letting herself fall free to dance, forgetting about the pain in between her legs, forgetting about the horrific incident that had happened to her and feeling only the air around her as she twirled and stomped her feet.

Grabbing the microphone, she opened her eyes, feeling the woman who performed night after night take over, pulling out the sinful and sensual diva that illuminated the night.

"_You won't admit you love me, and so, how am I ever to know, you only tell me perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…"_

The lyrics flew from her mouth, eyes closed and a smile climbing over her face with each measure. Performing was something she truly loved doing, dancing especially that could make everything alright in a crumbling world. In her darkest hours, lifting her feet to the sounds of music Jodi came alive, escaping into a world where she could be Sleeping Beauty or a backup dancer for Beyonce.

Slowly, she began to remove her clothes, letting the cold air hit her skin and feeling the eyes of every man in the place rake her body. Stripping down to her underwear, she reached back for the clasp of her bra, unhooking it and tossing it aside before looking around the crowd, zooming in on the one person who had any semblance of importance in her life at the moment.

With his white hair and dark glasses, seated amidst the crowd in front of the stage, he was easy to find, and for a moment, Jodi shuddered with excitement as she looked at him and indeed, found him watching her as well, half naked and stunning beneath the lights.

Heart pounding in her chest, she grabbed the microphone again and continued to sing, running her hands over her curved body, squeezing her breasts and letting her hands brush her nipples. Trailing her hands down to her panty line, Jodi inched her fingers down, teasing the crowd wildly with each move before sliding her fingers into her mouth, sucking on them seductively.

For a moment, Jodi considered doing something spontaneous, perhaps shedding her panties and giving the good detective a show, but with her promise to talk to them later, she decided against it, finishing up her number before giving a bow and smiling, stepping backward through the curtain once more to keep from showing her back and making her way to her room.

After a half hour had passed and Jodi was dressed in a robe, makeup removed, she sat at her mirror, gazing intently at the orange folder that sat on the counter, no addresses or markings, left by she did not who or when, but somehow they had gotten into her room and left it there without a word.

Taking the envelope gingerly, she tore it open, pouring out its contents and watching as several pictures fell out onto the counter.

"Hey Jodi babe, I'm here with those officers you asked for." Came a faraway voice as her door was thrown open.

Jodi found herself unable to respond as she looked at the pictures on the counter, a woman, eyes closed and body stiff with blood smeared across her face.

There were others, the woman's back with the same initial's as Jodi's, her mutilated genitals, and then, several pictures of Jodi at the hospital, outside the club, leaving the taxi.

And at the very bottom was a note, with messy scrawling that said:

_You're last._

In that moment, everything Jodi had been feeling poured fourth, and unable to control herself, the floodgates opened, tears pouring from her eyes and sobs wracking her body.

"Jodi?" she heard a warm voice call, and looked up through bleary eyes to find Detective Munch, standing beside her with a hand on her shoulder.

Looking up at the detective, Jodi forgot about everything else and heard the words come from her mouth without even thinking them.

"Help me."


	3. The Story Unfolds

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise. **

**The Story Unfolds**

Jodi let her red head rest against the cool glass window of the Crown Vic, her flaming cheeks soothed by the thick surface as the remnants of shame, panic, and tears lingered on her skin.

Glancing out the window, she watched as the scenery flew by feeling strangely numb and disconnected to the city that ran through her very veins. She felt empty and deflated, hanging in some sort of limbo while the world around her passed her by without even noticing.

As the car barreled towards her home, Jodi wished they could turn on the siren and go faster. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to curl up in the dark of her home, crawl under her bedspread and close her eyes, clutching a pillow and praying that when she woke up, the entire ordeal would be over. The ride to her home was a cross-town venture, made longer by the night traffic.

In the front seat where Detectives Stabler and Munch, the younger driving while his older counterpart sat in the passenger seat, the two conversing quietly and leaving Jodi to think about everything that was happening in her life. Every now and then, Detective Stabler would pitch her a question, and she knew he was trying to take her mind off things and was extremely grateful, however she did not feel like doing much talking. On the contrary, Jodi simply wanted to be alone, at home in her bed where she could surround herself in the covers and feel safe from the world.

As yellow taxicabs flew by she longed to get away from it all, perhaps disappear into some far-off place where the entire ordeal would have been nothing but a bad dream, and she could wake up to a world where she was a happy college student who came home every night to two parents who loved and supported her.

"Question for you Jodi, and don't take any offense in this but how is it you afford to stay in Sutton Place on a dancer's salary? This is one of the nicest places in the city, I mean I can't afford to live here. I thought you said that you didn't have any relatives here? Are you staying with someone, a boyfriend maybe or a friend?"

Jodi knew that asking questions was a part of the good Detective's job, whoever as he turned his head slightly to address her she almost wanted to scream at the top of her lungs and tell him she did not want to talk or answer any questions right now, and even more, she did not like what he was implying: that she knew her attacker.

"My boss pays for it." She replied curtly, continuing to star out the window at the complex New York City scenery that graced postcards and television shows across the world, creating a fantasy of the most beloved city in the galaxy.

"Your boss? That's weird, can you imagine the Captain buying us a townhouse?" he grinned to Detective Munch, and Jodi found herself glancing over for his response. Much to her relief, the older man simply gave his partner the smallest of grins and faced forward once more, as though he found the whole statement just as unamusing as she did.

"We used to mean something to each other, actually we still do. We were together when I first moved out into the world as an adult. He's been kind enough to know that I need help, and he has money to throw around." She explained irritably, hoping that her tone would still his questions.

"Used to? Something happen?" he asked, and this time Jodi found herself unable to contain her anger.

"Look, if you're implying that Caleb was the one who raped me you're extremely mistaken, alright?" she snapped, and Detective Munch turned to his partner and glanced back at Jodi, as though wondering if he should intervene or not.

"Listen, Jodi, this early in the investigation we can't rule anything out, alright? Everyone and anyone is a suspect, it's the same with every other case. But why don't you tell me about you and your boss, Caleb? It would save us a lot of questions when we have to go visit him."

Jodi snorted in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest like a teen who had not gotten her way. She could not believe the nerve of Detective Stabler, suggesting that the one person who had looked out for her could have been the guy who raped her.

"I can tell you for a fact that Caleb didn't rape me." She shrugged.

"And why is that? Was he out of town or something?" Detective Stabler asked, swearing as a car pulled in front of them without signaling.

"No, because I know his….I know what he feels like inside of me. When we had sex. He has a very…distinct shape." She shrugged, trying to hold back a giggle as she said the words, flushing brightly. It was true, for Caleb's penis was as unique as unique could be, slightly curved in a way that always seemed to fit into her perfectly, reaching parts of her that no other man or boy ever had.

At this, Detective Stabler cleared his throat loudly, shifting in his seat uncomfortably and Jodi took a moment to bask in his discomfort, silently avenging the destruction of her ego and integrity over the past few days. Following her attack she had been poked, prodded, and asked question after question, even when the answers could barely escape her lips for the humiliation she felt. It was nice to finally watch someone else writhe beneath the spotlight if even for a brief moment.

"So what happened between you two…if you don't mind me asking?" Detective Munch asked, his voice soft and warm, easing Jodi slightly as she looked up, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror.

As her emerald eyes pierced his brown ones, Jodi and the detective stared at one another for a long moment, Jodi finding herself willing and ready to answer any question he threw at her without hesitation or argument.

"We just weren't…meant to be I guess. It didn't work out." She replied, barely a whisper, her eyes never leaving the mirror. Detective Munch quickly looked away, and Jodi found herself longing for him to look at her once more, and pay the slightest bit of attention to her young person. He made her feel as though everything was going to be fine and that she was really truly human, something she desperately needed.

"So what, you broke up with no hard feelings?" Detective Stabler jutted it once more and Jodi became immediately tense, sitting back in her seat and hardening up beneath his inquiry.

"That's exactly what happened." She muttered.

"Look, why don't we save the questions for the boyfriend." Detective Munch turned to his partner and Jodi silently thanked him, wanting to reach out and give him a hug as his partner finally shut up and let them be on the way back to her townhouse.

* * *

"What are you looking at? You think she's going to go somewhere?" Elliot asked, glancing at his partner as he noticed him glance in the rearview mirror for possibly the billionth time in the last ten minutes.

"I'm just checking to see if she's okay." Munch replied defensively, and Elliot pursed his lips, raising his eyebrows as his eyes flittered to the rearview mirror. Sure enough, Jodi Stanford was huddled comfortably in the backseat, tucked into a corner with her eyes closed as she rested fitfully against the window.

In that moment, clad in a large hoodie and pants, she looked like any other ordinary teenage girl, not the sexual prowess who had an attitude that could melt butter.

Elliot for the most part was taken aback by her obvious resentment towards everything with the exception of Munch, who for some reason handled her with kid-gloves. The other detectives were quick to notice how protective he got of her, pulling others back when he noticed her discomfort which had naturally sparked curiosity amongst the detectives of the Special Victims Unit. John Munch was not one to generally get too attached to victims, and when he did, it seemed to always go back to his personal life, leading Elliot to wonder just what or who Jodi reminded him of that he wanted to protect so badly.

When Elliot glanced at her once more, trying to figure out what drew John to her young form, he momentarily found himself wanting to reach out to her, sliding and arm around her and assuring her everything would be alright. She looked so much like Kathleen, innocent and fragile in her slumber that for a moment he forgot that each and every night, she shed her clothes for dozens of men to see.

He had a hard time identifying with a girl who put herself on display for the entire world to see. Elliot had seen it all in this job, he had been forced to sympathize with prostitutes and sexual deviants, and while he believed rape was the most despicable of crimes, the situations often spawned anger within him, as a part of him thought these women had it coming to them. It was insensitive and politically incorrect, but it only made sense that a woman who revealed herself to so many generally put themselves out there for something like this to happen.

To contradict her attitude and profession, it turned out that Jodi was an excellent student at NYU, with a history of academic achievement, and notable dance skills. In fact, many people that he had spoken to (all of them male of course) had assumed that Jodi would attend Juilliard, her choice to go to NYU for Psychology causing surprise among many. Her professors had described her as dedicated and a cheerful girl, essentially the very thing he least expected when he heard where she worked.

Elliot was unsure just what to make of her, even as the noisy sounds of the city receded into peace and tranquility, an illusion cast by the elusive and prestigious neighborhood which was home to the wealthy, influential, and famous.

As he turned onto her street, Elliot could not help but gape in awe at the magnificent townhouses, each more massive than the last. Finally, he stopped the car in front of the address which must have been Jodi's glancing up and raising his eyebrows as he gazed at the building.

Unbuckling his seatbelt and turning off the car, Elliot turned around, reaching back and tapping Jodi lightly on the arm.

"Hey Jodi…we're at your house." He said softly, trying to awaken her. Instead, Jodi simply twitched, muttering something before cuddling up even more. Sighing, this time he shook her lightly, only to have her slap his hands away and wrap her arms around her body, eyes still closed.

Trying to fight a smirk from forming, Elliot opened his door, closing it behind him before throwing open Jodi's and leaning forward, her hair glistening brown, her skin pale for just a moment. For a moment, Elliot found himself looking at one of his girls, and reminiscing about the days when they would fall asleep during long car rides, and he and Kathy would have to carry them into the house.

It was when Elliot pried Jodi's arms apart though and slipped his hand into the pocket of her hoodie, searching for the key to her home, that he realized she was certainly not his daughter. Inadvertently, his hand brushed one of her breasts and he found himself tensing up before pulling away from her, feeling the urge to get as far away from her as possible.

Spinning around, he beckoned his partner over, forcing Munch to take over the search for her house-key. Glancing across the street Elliot squinted, doing a quick sweep of her apartment before Munch called his name and held out a hand, brandishing a small key on a chain.

"Stay here, I'm going to check out the place." Elliot commanded, taking the key and making his way across the street.

With a hand inching towards his gun, Elliot felt himself shut down as he prepared for what may or may not be inside of Jodi's home. Glancing over at John, he jogged up the front steps, standing at the front door with anticipation before grabbing his gun, ready for what may await him.

* * *

John found himself unable to think as he leaned over Jodi, completely surrounded by her smell, an overpowering scent of amber that ceased all thought process in his mind.

As he leaned over her, John found himself wanting to go further, burying his face in her neck and letting her sultry aroma fill his nostrils. He wanted to peel back the clothes from her skin and look at the body he had seen last night, the body he had not stopped thinking about.

The previous evening, John had found himself laying up in bed, completely unable to get the image of Jodi's body out of his mind. Her breasts, so round and large, with nipples that he could just imagine becoming taut beneath his touch, and her flat stomach which boasted the subtle outline of hard muscle. It was evident Jodi worked hard to maintain such a figure, and indeed she succeeded at it. And then there was her backside, a work of beauty in and of itself, perfectly round and plump. All he could think about was bringing his hand down to her ass, squeezing it tightly and listening to her moan beneath him.

These thoughts had plagued John, plagued him in a way that left him both completely horny, disgusted, and extremely confused on how exactly to handle the situation. Jodi was merely a fraction of his age, young enough to be his granddaughter even, and here he found himself fantasizing about her. Even outside of that, she was a case, an _active _case.

But it was in the way she looked at him, the way her tone changed every time she addressed John that she snared him, like the most evil of creatures. John found himself also resenting her, as he resenting every beautiful woman who used her looks and charm and weasel money out of a man. This was a girl who made her living off of the money of men, simply by showing off her body, and here she had a home more expensive than anything he would ever own. It infuriated him, it made him envious, and overall, it appalled him.

Yet in his revulsion, John could not even look at Jodi without feeling a mixture of emotions he hadn't felt since he was a teenager. He yearned for her attention and approval, after all, the affections of a young woman were all any man wanted. But more than anything, John silently found himself hoping in a far-fetched delusion that perhaps Jodi would be the solution to his loneliness, loneliness that only continued to grow with the passage of each and every year. John was nearing 60, single once more with not so much as a date staring him in the face.

He knew nothing would ever happen between them (nothing _could_), however John continued to imagine the possibilities, and with each one saw himself sitting next to Jodi, a beautiful young woman as he looked at the rest of his days.

Bending over, he tried to wake her up gently, watching as her eyes fluttered open, thick dark lashes framing those emerald eyes.

"Hey, we're at your home." He said softly, heart pounding in his chest as her eyes settled on him.

"Okay." Was all she said, a small smile climbing over her face, eyes still tired.

"Place is safe, bring her in!"

The voice tore them both away from the moment, and John turned his head, looking to Jodi's home as Elliot's retreating form became his focus of attention. Next to him, he felt Jodi shift slightly before she put a hand on his arm, causing him to jump slightly, praying he wouldn't have a heart attack.

"I just wanted to say thanks for being so nice to me. This has really sucked for lack of better words, and you've just been so kind." Jodi said, and John dared himself to look into her green lamps, sickening thoughts of romance and sunsets entering his mind.

"You're welcome." He answered, and the two sat there in silence, Jodi's dainty hand still on his arm, and John unable to move himself from her touch.

* * *

**Home of Caleb Frank**

**New York, New York**

**Thursday, October 22**

"Caleb Frank?" Olivia asked, pulling out her badge as the front door of a top-floor penthouse suite swung open, revealing a dark-haired man with grey eyes in his early 40's or so, subtle flecks of grey speckling his short black hair.

"That's me." He raised his eyebrows inquisitively in a grey sweater and jeans that Olivia could tell probably cost more than everything in her closet put together.

"I'm Detective Benson, I'm with the Special Victims Unit. Can we talk?" she tilted her head to the side, studying him subtly as his gleaming smile disappeared quickly, replaced with a somber expression that was perhaps a bit too sad for her taste.

"Yeah, come in. I'm assuming you're here about Jodi." He said gravely, stepping aside and letting Olivia into his home.

"Yes, I am. I'd like to ask you a few questions if that's alright." Olivia stated as she moved into his home, barely able to keep herself from commenting aloud on the lavish place of living.

"Yeah, yeah. Do you want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm alright, just someplace we can sit down and talk."

"Okay, here this is fine." He motioned to the living room, and Olivia followed, hints of his cologne catching her nose, a scent she didn't even recognize. It could have been custom.

Sitting down on a plush black couch, Olivia continued to watch Frank sternly, observing any strange details that could give him away as Jodi's rapist.

"So you're Jodi's employer, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"About a year. Right after she turned 18."

"And you two were…involved then if I understand correctly?"

"Yeah."

"So…how old are you exactly Mr. Frank?"

"Call me Caleb, please and I'm 43."

"So you dated an 18 year old who was still in high school, then gave her a job at your strip club?" Olivia pursed her lips, barely able to hide her disgust.

Immediately, Frank's face clouded over with anger and his eyes flashed furiously as he opened his mouth, glaring at Olivia.

"Jodi's really mature for her age, alright? She's always dated older guys, even before me. Besides, she's 18, it's legal, and she wanted a job at the club. Came in with me one night and said that it was the perfect place for her."

"Is that how you hire your workers? Seduce young girls?"

"If anything it was _she _that seduced me. I just got out of a fucking 15 year marriage. Young girls don't generally hang around in underground BDSM scenes. That's where I met her. She offered to be my sub and from there we formed a real relationship."

"So what, you're her sugar daddy? Sutton Place townhouse, expensive clothes and jewelry? I thought you two weren't dating anymore, now why would you be paying for those things for her?"

"Do you have any idea how much I make in a fucking year? She's young, she needs help. I'd rather have her holed up in a place that barely costs me anything than living in the worst part of town where she can get raped or killed."

"Yeah, and ironically she did get raped. So tell me Caleb, where were you on the 20th?"

There was a long pause as he simply stared at Olivia, face suddenly turning so red that for a moment she feared he might have a heart attack.

"You fucking pigs. You're saying I _raped_ the girl who stopped me from putting a gun to my head after my wife left me. I'll tell you where I was, I was in my fucking office at the fucking club like I am every single fucking night."

"Can anyone corroborate that?"

"Yeah, they can, now get out!"

Despite his poorly-contained anger, as Olivia left his apartment with a list of people who she was sure would back up his alibi whether it was true or not, she found herself certain that he was not their rapist. She had seen the best of actors, but the way he reacted by the simple mention of her rape, over-protective and violently furious, a part of her believed his story, and that meant they were as close to catching the killer as they were from the start.


	4. Clues

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise, **_**Moulin Rouge**_** or the rights to the music of Coldplay.**

**Clues**

_Jodi stared at her reflection in the mirror, hair pulled back and slicked beneath a black velvet top hat. Pursing her lips, she quickly ran a finger over the soft skin and smoothed out her cherry-red lipstick, before standing up in the sequin encrusted unitard she wore and observing herself in the mirror. _

_Running her hands down her curved sides, and lifted a leg, adjusting one of her garter belts then dropped it to the ground with a smile. She looked an exact replica of Satine in _Moulin Rouge_, the stylish film that had captivated her since first seeing it as a child. And tonight, she would channel her inner courtesan and wow the crowd, just as she did each and every night._

_With one last look-over, Jodi sighed and made her way across her dressing room, before opening the door. As she did so, she was met with a blast of cold air and darkness as she found herself facing a dark alleyway. Stepping out, her heels grazed the asphalt and she looked around, men lining the two walls that surrounded the long, dark, alley ahead. _

_As Jodi moved past them all, fear gripped her, stomach churning violently. She suddenly felt uneasy, unnerved, and above all, terrified. But she had to continue, she had a show to do, nothing was going to stop her. _

_So she stormed down the alley which had no sight in end, the applause becoming more and more faint until a microphone came into view. Approaching it, she grasped it in her hand tightly and opened her mouth, preparing to sing just as a voice came up behind her. _

_Without a word, hands slid around her neck, squeezing tightly and Jodi spun around only to find herself looking into the face of a man who had no face. He had no features, no skin, no eyes, nose, or mouth. Instead, a simple black shadow that obscured his non-existent features, however Jodi could hear the sound of his breath behind his mask, growing more and more pronounced with each passing second. _

"_Sing." He said, his voice a rasp that sent chills up her spine. Immediately, Jodi tried to tear away from him but his grip was iron-clad, holding her in her place. _

"_No." she whimpered. She did not want to sing from him, she did not want him to take her joy and turn it into a bartering tool. _

"_Sing!" he said again, pushing her back onto the ground. As he did so, a searing pain tore through Jodi's back and she screamed, watching as he stood and unzipped his pants, towering over her. When she tried to move, she found herself pinned down by some invisible force and knew, there was no escape. Even as her attacker got onto his knees, prying apart Jodi's suddenly-bare legs and grabbing himself, shoving into her harshly._

Jodi awoke with a loud scream, sitting up and looking around wildly as she found herself not in the dark alleyway with her rapist, but at home in her living room, sleeping on the couch comfortably. Drawing in breath in short spurts, she leaned back on her forearms, sighing before falling back onto the couch and throwing a hand over her forehead, closing her eyes.

Ever since the incident Jodi had found herself plagued by nightmares, each and every one where she looked into the unidentifiable face of her attacker, becoming more and more frustrated each time she awoke with panic flooding her chest and fear wracking her nerves. Had she done one thing differently, _anything _differently, perhaps he would be sitting in jail right now. Perhaps she would be able to look upon his face and know that he could no longer haunt her dreams, for he was locked away.

That was not the case however, and night after night, Jodi faced the faceless man and found herself waking in terror, trying desperately to hold herself together.

As she laid on the couch attempting to pull herself together, Detective Benson entered the room, muscles tense after hearing the small yet noticeable scream that came from the living room. Indeed, she was certain she would find Jodi safe and free of harm, however she to make sure, she took no precaution, darting in at the ready.

"Is everything alright in here?" she asked, causing Jodi to jump up from her spot in surprise, her heart beating even faster. It seemed that with her mind so occupied now, she jumped at just about every little thing, her connection with the real world shattered as her mind continued to flit back and forth to the attack. It was all that filled her thoughts, so much that she found herself unable to attend classes that morning, and wondered if she should even go back.

"You scared me." She said softly, then leaned down, taking her face in her hands for a moment before standing up, putting her hands on her back and stretching. Olivia's eyes never left her bedraggled form, red hair unkempt and unruly, and eyes sporting dark circles. This from the girl who once upon a time, never left the house looking anything short of perfect. And now, this was what Jodi was reduced to, a sloppy and uncaring mess.

"You okay? I heard you scream." Olivia asked once more, and Jodi rubbed her eyes with a nod, yanking down her shorts as they rode up, exposing her legs to the cold.

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream that's all." Jodi shrugged, attempting to avoid Olivia's gaze.

"A bad dream pertaining to your rape?"

Again, that word. That horrible, ugly word that bit at Jodi deeper each and every time. Each time she thought she was getting over what had happened, they came again with that word, and Jodi couldn't have been more upset by it.

Instead of answering, she simply swallowed, unable to find words to speak.

"Listen Jodi, you haven't talked to anyone about this. Maybe you should think about seeing a psychiatrist." Olivia said, and Jodi simply ignored her, plastering a Bree Van de Kamp worthy smile on her face and turning to face the beautiful detective, hands on her hips.

"Would you like breakfast? I haven't eaten yet." She said.

"Listen Jodi don't change the subject. This isn't going to go away-"

"Yes breakfast. I think old-fashion bacon and eggs will do, maybe some pancakes." She continued, spinning on her heel quickly and walking from the room so quickly that Olivia wondered if she was even human. With each step Jodi took, she distanced herself from the cop.

She didn't want to hear about psychiatry or victims services, because she could cope herself. In fact, she'd be able to get over this entire mess if everyone would just leave her alone and let her be. For the sole reason that her attacker had killed someone, Jodi of course had agreed to help, however she was certain that if it were possible for her to not press charges and let the entire thing go, Jodi would be fine by now. She was constantly being asked if she was alright, forever being poked and prodded, observed and reassured, and none of those things were what Jodi truly needed. She had lived with herself long enough to know how to deal with the good, bad, and the ugly, and the secret was getting on with life instead of harping on what had already happened.

With a sigh, Jodi entered the massive kitchen located in the right wing of her home, situated next to a beautiful dining room. Flipping on the switch, the bathed the modernized room in light and glanced around the gleaming countertops and appliances, relaxing just the slightest bit. As with many different kinds of art, Jodi found that cooking was something she thoroughly enjoyed, the way she mixed together different flavors, textures, and colors, making a splendid dish that could please the palate in a variety of ways. It was quite astonishing to her really, the sheer complexity of it all.

Say, how each thing had such a distinctive taste or feel, how molecules and matter came together to form the sights and smells that she would look down upon. It was a symphony of creation that produced at times the most unexpected and pleasing of outcomes.

Today, was going to be simplistic. A simple dish of eggs, turkey-bacon, and pancakes, however nothing Jodi Stanford ever did was truly simplistic. Each and every part of her life had to be bedazzled, modified in some way to compliment the intricacies of her personality and lifestyle.

Making her way to the island counter, Jodi grabbed a skillet from above and swung it around, loosening her wrist. Sliding it onto the stove, she set the dial then bounded across the room in bare feet for a bottle of oil.

After setting up and preparing her food, Jodi walked to the iPod dock she kept in the kitchen and turned on the musical device, the sounds of Coldplay immediately flooding the room in sound and transporting her into the beautifully stylistic world of _Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends_.

Submersing herself in the musical wonder, Jodi went to work, bending over the stove and biting the inside of her cheek. Letting her bare feet sweep the floor, she pointed her toes, humming to herself and letting her body work into a silent dance routine while she remained stationary, thinking of just what she could do later.

The dance studio was not an original part of the house, in fact, the room had once been a recording studio for the previous owner, and convincing Caleb to allow her to remake and remodel it into what it now was had been a task. Despite the fact that her talent and love for dance was greatly known, Caleb was the only one to be outright and frank about her future.

"You're not dancing professionally, what's the point?" he had asked, and Jodi was forced to sit back and think over his words which were all too true. She wasn't dancing professionally, she wasn't even minoring in any sort of art, something that right in this very minute, she regretted deeply, however what did it matter now? Jodi could barely focus on one task, let alone her studies with all that was happening. Her attacker was still out there, and there was a dead girl on her.

She made enough money at the club to more than get by. At the end of the week when Caleb took his cut out of her paycheck, Jodi still made a substantial amount of cash, so much that she could even pay her own bills on the townhouse, and this was for a girl who kept every single light on.

It struck Jodi was somewhat funny, the fact that the only place she could keep it together was where she was attacked. What she _really _needed though, most of all, was simply someone she could talk to, someone who wouldn't continue treating her like a victim. Caleb pranced around her, stepping carefully as though Jodi was a ticking time bomb, and everyone else treated her with sickening concern, eyes full of pity that she did not want.

Never in Jodi's life had she felt so alone, and it was the one time when people made the most attention to her. She didn't want the fawning though, she simply wanted to be treated like she was any other day, she simply wanted someone to talk to who wouldn't ask if she was alright or talk to her like she might suffer a mental breakdown at any moment.

Spooning a mass of cheesy scrambled eggs onto a nearby plate, Jodi swallowed, shaking her head and once again, she willed herself not to cry. She had once, the previous night, and she would not again. She was not _weak_, and she could keep it together. After all, she had the last time.

* * *

Olivia walked down the long hallway, following the sounds of music before turning into Jodi's kitchen to find her standing at the sink, hunched over with her head down. Staring at the girl she sighed, turning around and retreating before Jodi could notice her presence.

As she did so, she found herself momentarily observing the girl in awe, for despite the vast differences between the two, Jodi reminded Olivia a little bit of herself at that age.

She was so complex, and so obviously hurting yet she refused to show it, clenching her jaw and putting on a brave face for the world to see just as Olivia had, yet she seemed so much older. It wasn't just her curvy body when young women were still growing, or even her face, absent of any fat and signs of incriminating youth. No, it was the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, with such an air of maturity and wisdom beyond her years that it surprised Olivia.

In essence though, she was truly worried. It was evident that Jodi was in some sort of denial, going so far as to refuse referring to her attack as a rape, and that was exactly what it was. It was a brutal attack against her very essence, taking away her dignity, and causing immense pain to the parts of her body that were supposed to give her joy. To call it anything but a savage rape, was simply incorrect, and Olivia could not believe the way Jodi brushed the word off, refusing to even acknowledge it in the face of investigation.

Beyond that, the detectives had talked to girls at the club, none of whom seemed particularly close to Jodi, and so far no one had yet to visit. It did not seem as though Jodi was confiding in anyone about this, not her friends, not family, and certainly not professional help which was what she really needed. She was so damn stubborn, and Olivia was unsure whether to admire her, or worry for her tremendously.

It was interesting, that the one person Jodi seemed to open up to was Munch, or so Olivia had heard. According to Elliot and Fin, Munch looked at her through awestruck eyes like a teenage boy, something that seemed to work for Jodi, bringing her out of her shell. If it worked though, Olivia personally just thought they should let it be. No matter how sickeningly he drooled after a girl (more than half his age), it wasn't as though anything would ever happen between the two, especially given Jodi's record of a wild girl.

Just as she entered the living room, Olivia's phone chimed in her pocket. Pulling the sleek Motorola RAZR from her pocket, she flipped it open then brought it to her ear.

"This is Benson." She said, crossing an arm over her chest and standing in the center of the room.

"Hey, it's me." Elliot said, and Olivia nodded, walking across the room to a large red couch, sitting down.

"Hey El what's up?" she asked.

"We found something on the body of our new vic."

"DNA?!" Olivia shot up, excitement running through her. A break in the case was just what they needed right now, right when things were looking bleak.

"No, Warner hasn't said anything yet, we're in the lab right now she wanted everyone to be there. I've got you on speaker, and the cap is here with Munch and Fin."

"Okay." Olivia spoke, immediately tensing up once more at the mention of the captain who she now knew was on the other end of the line. The scene quickly went from comfortable, to tense, and while Olivia enjoyed Donald Cragen, the intimidation that came from being beneath him still caught her, even after years of working under him.

"Hi Olivia, you still with us?" Melinda Warner asked and Olivia replied affirmatively, eager to hear anything that the expert medical examiner could offer her.

"Good. Well, the reason we couldn't find prints on our perp was because he wore gloves, that we already knew. Now latex gloves usually leave fingerprints from being handles, and leather leave traces. Now, I didn't find anything that might physically help us identify this guy, but the strangulation marks on our vic had residue imprinted in her flesh."

"What kind of residue?" Elliot asked.

"Standard car oil." Melinda answered, millions of thoughts rolling around Olivia's head. So this guy had oil on his hands, what did that mean? Did he work around cars? Automotive repair perhaps? Or could he be someone's driver responsible for keeping up maintenance? Or he could still be an everyday citizen that changed his own oil.

"That's not much for us to work with Melinda, you go anything else?" the captain asked, speaking the words that everyone else had been thinking.

"No, but I can tell you, he's getting messier. Less meticulous. It's the most subtle of differences but it's noticeable."

"None of this has hit the new yet, he probably thinks he's getting away with it, thinks he can skip steps. With Jodi Stanford the crime scene was spic-and-span clean, however with this…he left behind small traces. Nothing we could identify with, but traces nonetheless. He's getting messier with each attack."

"So if he attacks again, we may have DNA? Maybe he wants to get caught. You know, he's letting the thrill build up until maybe he does something like rapes without a condom. He attacked Jodi Stanford in a public place where anyone could have seen, and Holly Thomas the most recent victim was found next to a dumpster behind a café." Elliot mused.

"But then why go through all the trouble of wearing the gloves, the condom, and attacking each girl in surprise. Have we found a link between our victims yet?" Olivia furrowed her brow.

"They didn't know each other, but Thomas worked in a strip club. She was attacked outside the café she was working. Could be a coincidence." Fin offered.

"After how many years in this job I've learned there's no such thing as coincidence. Benson and Stabler, I'm sending you two out."

"What about me and Munch?" Fin asked.

"You're on babysitting duty." The captain commented, a snigger on his voice before handing up the phone. With that, the rest of the detectives followed suit, and Olivia hit the END button on her phone, sliding it into her pocket and standing up.

Because the threats against Jodi's life as well as the opportunity to catch the killer, young Ms. Stanford had been put under protection for the time being, and after the FBI continuously stated that it would be better to have "low-key" detectives blending in rather than agents, the duty fell on the detectives of the SVU, each charged with making sure nothing happened to Jodi Stanford. As Olivia continued down the hall, her phone vibrated and she looked down to find a text from Fin.

**B there in 30. **

Sliding her phone into her pocket once more, Jodi looked around the corner into the kitchen where Jodi mouthed to words to some rock song, spooning several fluffy brown pancakes onto a plate. Stepping into the kitchen, Olivia observed her, tapping her foot on the ground and shaking her head as she lip-sung quietly.

"Hey Jodi!" Olivia exclaimed, and her red head snapped up, green eyes wide with surprise. Acknowledging her presence, Jodi put up a finger then walked across the kitchen and turned down the music, returning to the island counter.

"What's up?" she breathed casually, brushing her forehead with the back of her hand then put her hand on her hip looking like a disgruntled housewife. As Olivia stared at her, she felt a bitter and childish pang of jealousy crawl through her. The girl was absolutely stunning, even now after only having woken up about 20 minutes ago. Free of makeup, free of styled hair in nothing more than casual clothing, she was gorgeous, green eyes shining beneath arched red eyebrows and thick dark lashes. Her bone structure was a work of art, with high cheekbones and a sharp jawline that brought attention to plump red lips. In essence, Jodi was everything women wanted to be, and she was that everything at only 18 years old, barely a woman.

Of course Olivia wasn't one to harp on such things. She knew how she looked, she was a strong and confident woman, but beneath every woman, that deep desire to be better than her counterparts rose up, if only once in a while, bringing about jealously like a tidal wave on a sea-foam green ocean.

"We might have gotten a decent lead, I'll be trading off the Detectives Tutuola and Munch in about a half hour, just thought you should know?"

"What kind of lead?" she asked, pursing her lips and setting the spatula down. Olivia noticed no significant changes in her tone, not even excitement, it just seemed that she was simply curious.

"Well we found something on the body of the victim, and we think if he attacks again he may slip up a little bit, that's all I can really give you right now, even if I could tell you everything. I'll be honest it's not much at all, but it's still better than nothing."

_It's still better than nothing_.

The words rang in her head over and over again, and Olivia wanted to punch herself for saying them. In truth, how was what Warner told them better than nothing? All she had confirmed was that they might catch him if he killed another girl, which still meant that every woman in Manhattan was in danger. No, it wasn't better than nothing. Olivia had just lied to herself, and lied right to Jodi's face, and she couldn't have been more frustrated by it.

"Huh. Well, have something to eat. I've got blueberry whole-wheat pancakes, turkey bacon, and scrambled egg whites with cheese. There's no real butter but I've got a substitute, Smart Balance, it tastes better than real butter. Come on, you take two pancakes or four?" Jodi asked nonchalantly as she grabbed a fork, and Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"Um, no thanks Jodi."

"You've been here since four this morning and you haven't had anything to eat."

Her voice was adamant, demanding, however it was the simple fact that she was offering Olivia such a huge meal that caught her off guard. What reason did she have for this kindness? It had been obvious that she held some disdain for the detectives (with the exception of Munch for some strange reason), and here she was, offering breakfast.

"Look, I really appreciate the offer but I'm not hungry."

Right as she spoke, Olivia's nose caught a waft of blueberries which floated into her nostrils captured her and sent her stomach growling loudly, right on cue. Trying not to chuckle at the way her body betrayed her, Olivia stepped into the kitchen. From the sound of it, Jodi's meal would be healthier than a doughnut, she would pick up on the way.

Sitting where Jodi directed her, Olivia crossed her legs and watched as the young redhead sat a plate front of her, loaded with eggs, bacon, and fluffy round pancakes that looked perfect. Safe to say, Olivia was impressed, and while she knew that it was near impossible to mess up said meal, it still had a touch that made her wonder if perhaps Jodi was skilled in cooking as well.

Jodi then placed a beautiful fork and knife in front of Olivia and filled a tumbler with orange juice.

"Dig in." she breathed, turning her back and Olivia did so, sectioning off a piece of pancake with her fork and knife, then bringing it to her mouth. The moment she did she closed her eyes, the fluffy cake melting in her mouth and blue sweetness bursting on her tongue. Indeed, Jodi had a gift in the kitchen, because these pancakes were like nothing she had ever tasted before.

"Wow these are amazing." Olivia commented, looking up as the redhead milled about, tossing things in the sink.

"Thanks." Jodi replied, then made her way to the side of the island opposite Olivia and sat down, grasping a magazine. Flipping open the thick issue of _Vogue_, Jodi studied a page carefully, seemingly unmindful of the guest sitting before her.

"You know, I used to envision myself as Anna Wintour." She suddenly said, and Olivia looked up.

"Excuse me?"

"Anna Wintour, editor of _Vogue_. When I was fourteen I had this obsession with her. She's just such a strong, powerful woman, and she does it all with such an air of…..I don't have a word for it. Just the way she carries herself, it's so incredible to me."

She spoke so casually, making conversation lightly as though it was nothing, as though nothing else in the world was happening, nothing like her rape or the murder that had occurred.

"Used to?" Olivia said through a mouthful of eggs, following her sudden conversation. At this, Jodi looked up momentarily and tilted her head in contemplation, gazing at Olivia intently through those green almond-shaped eyes.

"You grow up, and reality bites you in the ass. I'm not from money, I don't have the skills to head the biggest fashion magazine in the world, but you know, you can't always get what you want." She shrugged simply, and Olivia could not help but nod, for it was so true. It was good that she had learned that at such a young age.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Olivia stood up, wiping her hands on a napkin.

"That must be Munch." She explained, before thanking Jodi for the breakfast and heading out to see if there was anything he had to tell her. Olivia had left so abruptly in fact, that she didn't notice the way Jodie fluffed up her hair and straightened her clothes as Munch's voice rang down the long hallway.


	5. Not Good

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise, and any other media and or characters mentioned in this chapter.**

**Not Good**

John Munch walked into Jodi Stanford's semi-familiar home, making an attempt to acquaint himself with the place at every opportunity. It was a spacious townhouse, luxurious inside and out and in terms of his job had endless places for a stalker to lurk, making it imperative he know the ins and outs of the massive place of living.

Closing the door behind him, he watched as Olivia walked over, tossing her brown locks out of her face. Reaching over she grabbed a coat from the elegant mahogany coatrack near the door and slipped it on.

"How was babysitting duty?" Fin asked. It troubled John each time he heard the phrase the way they now referred to Jodi. He could tell that Elliot felt she had all but invited the attack do to the nature of her job, Olivia saw her as some dumb bimbo, and Fin…well Fin was just Fin as usual, meaning he found it necessary to add his two cents whenever the occasion called for it.

"Nothing eventful. She's having nightmares though. Tried to get her to talk to a psychologist but she blew me off as usual. So that's something for you guys to look forward to. How was traffic?"

"Not that bad. You heard anything about our perp?"

"Nope, I was expecting to hear from you. You two got any other cases?"

"Stuff is slow. Not much. Light load. It'll be nice when they sort out a couple of regular guys to sit on the house. I already spent my time raising a kid I'm not in the mood to deal with another." Fin said then made his way into the house. John lingered for a moment then nodded at Olivia as she departed. He was tempted to snap at Fin's comment and note that he had never even been around for his soon, but elected against it as the buxom beauty that was their latest victim bounded down the hall with a smile plastered on her serene face.

"Morning detectives." She grinned, full lips parted to reveal rows of white teeth that could have only been a reality with the help of braces. John couldn't help but notice even as she smiled the prominent dark circles under her green eyes which were devoid of makeup. Above several newly-formed wrinkles on her forehead spoke of undoubted newfound stress and possible trauma. What could he do to convince this girl to get some help? From the way she stood, almost defensively it seemed like she was ready for an attack at any point and time.

"Morning Jodi." Fin answered, and John took a moment to rake his eyes down her tight frame, still marveling at how a girl could maintain such a figure. They sure as hell didn't make them like that when he was growing up.

"Morning Detective Munch." She said, and his brown eyes met her emerald ones as she addressed him personally. Standing up on the balls of her feet she rocked for a moment, hands clasped in front of her like submissive slave waiting for further direction and attention from her master.

"Good morning Jodi." He spoke, trying not to imagine her naked once more. It was so damned hard now that he had the image in his mind.

"Are you two hungry? I made some breakfast for Detective Benson. I've always had a habit of cooking enough for an army there's plenty of food. Why don't you guys come and grab something to eat?"

"Thanks but no thanks I'm good, but Munch here was saying on the way over that he hadn't had anything to eat since last night. Weren't you man?" Fin asked obnoxiously, slapping John's back. John winced as Jodi's feline-like eyes turned on him like lamps, silently questioning Fin's statement silently. He could barely stand beneath her gaze which was enough to make him melt.

"I…uh…" he stuttered, at a loss for words for the very first time in his life. He was certain if he was a boy again the flush in his face would have been enough to heat generators from Brooklyn to Newark. As his face warmed, he prayed it would not be noticeable. Getting an erection would have been less humiliating. At least then he could have made comic relief out of it.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, follow me!" she chirped in a manner all too perky for a girl who had just been raped. John didn't have much time to thin on it though as she spun around, giving a marvelous view of her all-too incredible ass.

"Go on man, get yourself something good to eat." Fin smirked, and John made a mental note to nail him in the near future.

Without another word he followed Jodi down the hall and into the marvelous kitchen that almost made his jaw dropped. Every aspect of her majestic townhouse was enough to make him question everything about her. Olivia had told them all that her former boss was paying for it, owner of the club she worked at, and there was still the amount of gifts she received during her stay at the hospital. She really was New York's sweetheart for reasons that John did not want to pretend to know. The fact of the matter was she was a whore. No matter how much anyone tried to rationalize it.

But she was the sweetest of girls too. The way she smiled with both her mouth and her eyes. And she had gotten raped. No matter what, she had gotten raped and on woman deserved that. She needed John's help, and he was going to give it to her no matter what the circumstances.

As soon as he stepped into the modernized kitchen his nostrils flooded with the scents of herbs, sweet pancakes, and what could only be bacon. Not traditional bacon however, as it offended his nostrils but turkey bacon just as he was used to being Jewish. Glancing around he observed the place with was spic and span clean, pots and pans shining and glinting brightly from where they hung. It was evident that the kitchen was often used, and John wondered if Jodi liked to cook. It sure seemed that way. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon were a simple enough dish but something told him perhaps that was the most miniscule of her skills.

"Any news on the case?" she asked, back turned to him as she shoveled food onto a plate and John lingered near the island counter which featured four high chairs, wondering if her food was just an attempt to ply him for information. A part of him hoped she sincerely wanted to cook for him. After all, she always gave him looks that he hadn't see her give to the other detectives. Maybe he was just a crazy old fool imagining things after years of solitude. When was the last time he had even been with a woman? Six months?

"Here you go." She said softly, placing a plate down before him with a glass of cold orange juice. Pulling out a chair she motioned for him to sit then took the seat beside him, crossing her long legs and running a dainty hand through her unruly red curls. She was clad in a pair of blue jeans cuffed at the ankles and a men's shirt that was unbuttoned just enough to reveal a hint of cleavage.

From where he sat John could smell her. Sweet amber mixed with something else he couldn't quite catch. The seductive scent suited her better than anything he could have thought of. Attempting to distract himself he studied everything around him with a cop's eye, paying keen attention to the silverware before him.

"Pretty nice stuff. Expensive." He murmured. He only knew this from one of his previous marriages.

"It was given to me by my aunt after she took me in. She had a daughter of her own, my cousin, although Gina's never been the homemaker type. She works an IT job, travels across the country about every two months. Says she has no interest in getting married, she never even buys real furniture so my aunt gave it to me. That's not even the really good stuff, I have a few sets she's waiting to give me once I get married. But back to the case. Do you guys have any leads?" she asked.

It was a bit much to take in. John didn't know that much background on Jodi except her father was in jail at Sing-Sing for some reason, they hadn't given the full details it simply came up during a family search. He tried to memorize everything she had just said while answering her question in an appropriate amount of time.

"I can't really comment on the case right now, sorry." He replied, and immediately he watched as her face slackened.

"Well that sucks. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked. I just…want to know that this guy is put away you know. I keep worrying every time I turn around he's going to be lurking behind some door or corner it's terrifying. It would just be nice to know that you guys are getting closer so that I don't have to worry anymore." She said quietly. Her voice had a raw quality, almost as if she was fighting back tears. The way she looked away and her face heated suggested that she might be, and John immediately felt himself deflate.

The fact was they were no closer to catching this guy than they were when he first attacked. He was like a ghost, even as intricate and public as his attacks were, it was like he wasn't even there. Jodi was sitting under constant police protection but hadn't that been thwarted many times before? He couldn't assure her she was safe just as he couldn't be completely honest with her.

Reaching out, he placed a hand on her shoulder lightly, trying in vain to keep it there. Glancing down, her eyes shifted to it, then up to his in a manner that made his heart flutter like he was back in grade school again. She was just so damn beautiful it didn't even make sense.

"Look I'll be sure to tell you if something happens okay?" he managed to croak and Jodi replied with the smallest of smiles, bringing one of her buttery hands atop his. Squeezing his wrinkled hand for a moment she let go then stood up, sniffing and putting her hands on her waist.

"Well the food won't eat itself. Dig in before it gets cold. Nothing is ever as good once it's been reheated, no matter who cooks it. I hope you won't mind if I imbibe. Bloody Mary's and eggs have been a part of my morning since I was fifteen."

"I didn't see or hear anything." John replied with a small smirk. In reality had he been there for anything other than work (a thought he would not dare feed into) he wouldn't have given a second thought to her drinking. But something about her partaking in alcohol while he was sitting there on duty felt wrong.

It was moments like these that made John realize just how much he had changed. He still believed in the right to legalize certain drugs and wouldn't deny experimenting when he was younger, but as an officer he knew America's strict laws were in place for a reason. For a girl to begin drinking at such a young age would mean two things. Either 1.) she would become an alcoholic or 2.) a responsible drinker. John sincerely hoped the latter. A Bloody Mary in the morning was nothing to raise alarms about but the idea of her drinking every morning before even 2pm made him weary.

"Do you drink a lot?" he asked, allowing himself to take a small bite out of the turkey bacon she had prepared. It was succulent and rich, cooked so perfectly that it was chewy but still had a crisp bite. Quickly, he let his inner man take over, scarfing down strips of bacon before they got cold.

"Forgot you were a cop for a moment there, sorry about that. Sure I have something with dinner every night but if you're thinking I'm some kind of drunk you're wrong. I've been drunk all of twice in my life, at a party and after my high school prom." She replied, then sat down beside him and crossed her lean legs.

As she did so she leaned forward, seemingly pressing her breasts together with her arms. John's eyes moved to her chest for a moment before flickering back to his plate resolutely. He was not going to let her distract him. He was stronger than that (although deep down he knew he most certainly was not).

"So tell me about yourself Detective. I've never cared much for having complete strangers in my home." She said smoothly, propping an elbow up on the counter and resting her head on her hand. As she tilted her head to the side her eyes twinkled as though she really gave a damn about what John had to say. He had seen that look only two or three times, and it was enough to just about make him fall to his knees like some romantic sap.

"What do you want to know?" he asked through a mouthful of bacon and Jodi pursed her lips.

"You know, all the intimate dark details of your life. Your childhood, police work, shit like that. I should know a little something about you shouldn't I?" she raised a brown eyebrow and John smirked. He liked her stark sense of humor. Beautiful, hot body, talented, _and _funny? Those were certainly hard to come by.

"There's not much to tell, my life hasn't been that interesting. Been married and divorced four times by four women who were more vicious and dramatic than their predecessors. I grew up in Baltimore, then moved back here. Police work all my life and that's pretty much been the extent of my riveting tale." He replied earnestly, waiting to see how she would accept his dark humor. He noted that when he admitted his prior divorces her expression did not change. She was trying to make it so that she did not react meaning that she wanted to him to like her and not feel offended.

"Nonsense. Everyone's life is interesting." She replied, squinting her eyes slightly so that they twinkled playfully. John smirked in return. She was really starting to grow on him. He was surprised how easy he found talking to her to be.

"What about you?" he nodded his head, digging into the pile of scrambled eggs mixed with cheese and green peppers.

"Contrary to my previous statement my own life story is not that interesting. Bear in mind that it's only lasted 18 years." She shrugged, spinning around on her chair so that her back rested against the counter.

"Why don't you give it a try? Surely a kid in this day in age has a better story than someone who grew up in the Stone Ages." He joked, watching as she blanched at the word "kid". Clearly she didn't like being referred to as young.

"Well let's see…I was born in California. I moved here when I was twelve, started attending a private school and all that. After I turned 18 I managed to get work at the club. It helped that I flirted with Caleb a little bit. He and I dated and broke up and here I am still at the club. I really started working to pay for school. I got scholarships but it's still expensive as hell."

"What are you studying?"

"Psychology and sociology. I always had this little idea of becoming an adolescent psychologist."

"Wow." John mused aloud. How did a girl who was on a path to success end up stripping?

"Does that surprise you?" she cocked her head to the side, seeing right through him and John met her eyes honestly and nodded.

"Yeah I'm just trying to figure out where did-"

"-Where did stripping come in? How does someone have hopes of getting into a professional field when they show their body onstage every night? I know, I've asked myself that question a couple times. In truth like I said, it's a great way to pick up money. Besides that I like singing and dancing. You came to the club and you can see the girls there have real talent. It's more of a cabaret, not your run of the mill seedy strip joint. So my turn…how does a skinny Jewish guy get into working in sex crimes?"

"What leads you to believe I'm Jewish? Surely it can't be my nose." John replied, not denying it. In return Jodi raised her eyebrow and simply smirked.

"It's not hard to deduce. The last name Munch and all. Besides, I think your nose is quite sexy. Among other things." She winked.

John's heart pounded in his ears as he replayed the comment over and over in his head in that moment. Had she really just said that? Did she really mean it?

Flustered, he quickly tried to string together a witty response, caught speechless for the second time that day.

"That's a bit of a bold comment." He finally mustered, wanting to shoot himself for such an insipid response.

"Well I'm a bit of a bold girl." She winked again, then hopped off her chair and extended a hand. Sitting in confusion for a moment, John glanced down at his plate which was now scattered with crumbs and offered it to her, along with the empty glass of orange juice he discovered was fresh squeezed.

"Hope you enjoyed." She spun around, making her way to the sink and John looked down to make sure he had gotten no food on his clothes. Straightening his jacket he stood up, brushing any remaining crumbs off himself.

"You're a pretty good cook. Where'd you learn that?"

"Simple skill and knowledge. Or maybe it's my Hispanic roots. At the end of the day I'm happiest in the kitchen cooking up a storm, waiting for some guy to make a perfect housewife out of me." She deadpanned, then dried off her hands and turned around, placing her hands behind her on the kitchen counter. John's eyes were immediately drawn to her chest once more, something that Jodi seemed to notice. In response she smirked, looking away then crossed her arms over her chest so that she pressed her breasts up creating a noticeable swell that was more than a bit sexy.

"So, what now? You've got a few hours here." She suggested playfully.

"I don't know, you tell me." He responded, finding it completely natural to playfully flirt with her, almost like a second nature. The way she presented herself as though she was just waiting for him to take some sort of initiative. The most painful part of it was the fact that he couldn't. Here was a beautiful young woman throwing herself at him and he was too bound to his damned job to take her up on her advances.

"Well you're the man with the handcuffs Detective. That means you're in charge."

The way the word "detective" ran off her tongue was almost enough to make John shudder. She was the epitome of sexy, and with each passing moment he found it harder to believe that she was only 18. In what world? She was just a baby yet she had the body, mind, and personality of a woman.

"We should probably see what my partner is up to." John replied, feeling as though he had been hit over the head with an anvil. Spinning around he began to make his way out of the kitchen and Jodi followed him, shutting off the lights on her way out. Standing behind him she remained close enough so that her hand would occasionally brush his own and cause him to tense up involuntarily, wanting to lean into her touch. He couldn't have been imagining it anymore. She wanted him. The question was, why?

He knew he was a funny guy. He also knew that he used his humor to compensate for his looks. John had grown up a rail-thin kid with Dumbo ears. He wasn't James Dean, and he knew it. So he adjusted, hoping his personality would be enough to win over the ladies. Indeed he had faced a deal of rejection in his lifetime, but he knew the ins and outs of life. Some guys got it all, and some got nothing. He was sure as hell luckier than other guys he knew.

Lucky enough to have a buxom 18-year-old throwing herself at him? That he wasn't completely sure of. Maybe she wanted something. Money? Not many knew just how little a detective made. Details on her case? Something else? There had to be something in it for her. She could have any guy she wanted. Why settle for him?

As he thought about this though, he remembered her former boyfriend Caleb Frank who owned the club. The guy was a hell of a lot older than her yes, but she had gotten a townhouse out of him. John Munch was not a guy who would be used. He had been through four blood-thirsty wives, he wasn't a complete fool. Whatever Jodi wanted from him, she wasn't going to get by batting her eyelashes. It may have worked on others, but not for him.

Hardening slightly he moved away from her as they approached her living room, suddenly filled with bitter resentment. Money was what she wanted. It was the only explanation and he wasn't going to be swindled like some idiot hanging off the words of a whore. The hell with that.

Jodi glanced at him, as though noticing his change in demeanor and their conversation fell silent as they entered the living room to find Fin sitting on Jodi's couch, legs up on a table as some action flick roared on her 72-inch plasma screen.

"Nice to see you've made yourself at him." She mused, putting her hands on her hips and Fin nodded at her, never taking his eyes off the television.

"You don't mind do you?" he asked as Jason Statham jumped from a roof, bullets blazing and filling the entire room.

"Not at all, enjoy yourself." She chuckled then turned to John.

"What about you? You wanna make yourself at home? Or I could give you a formal tour of the house. Being a good hostess and all." She shrugged, green eyes hinting the suggestion of a little more than a tour.

John fell into her trap once more despite the voice in the back of his head warning him that she was nothing more than a golddigger looking to make some money off a miserable old sucker.

_Well there's nothing wrong with a little flirting. If she's going to play you why not play her? Just stay on your guard old man._ He thought to himself. After nodding stiffly Jodi smiled, leaning in then grabbing his arm and leading him to the staircase.

Making her way before him, John watched as she moved up the stairs on her toes, her hips swinging back and forth to cast attention to her ass which was more and more beautiful each time he looked at it. Again, he wondered what woman could have a natural body like that. Just as he caught himself wanting to reach out his hand and cup her curves Jodi turned around, stopping and looking down at him.

"You checking me out Detective?" she raised her arched eyebrows.

"Uh…." John heard himself say and Jodi grinned, spinning around and making her way up the rest of the steep carpeted stairs without a word. John wanted to slap himself in the face but refrained. She basically now knew that she had him hooked, which was the last thing that he wanted.

In an attempt to keep his eyes from roving her assets once more John glanced at the wall which was lined with framed pictures. Observing, he glanced at moments from Jodi's life, from a picture of a pudgy red-headed baby with a gaping toothless grin to an almost unrecognizable young woman posed on her toes in full ballerina garb. The pictures told the story of her life thus far, spanning from all years of her life. John's interest was captured as he glanced at a photo of her standing in a cheerleading uniform, red hair tied up with a ribbon in a high ponytail on the arm of a football player. The photo was dated 2007. It was only two years old and even then Jodi seemed so much younger than she was now although her body was clearly developed beneath the tight uniform and standard pleated skirt.

"Kind of hard for me to imagine you as a cheerleader." John commented and immediately she spun around. For the first time, he observed as her cheeks flushed brightly in what could only be embarrassment.

So the girl shed her clothes onstage and showed off her body for all of New York to see but got bashful over the thought of once being a cheerleader? He simply couldn't wrap his mind around her.

"Let's just get upstairs." She mumbled, and John followed, still observing the pictures. It appeared she was a talented dancer. Actually, it appeared she was talented at many things. Every detail he learned of her life surprised him more and more, and once again led back to the rooted question of how she got where she was now, and why? She had so much to give, so many talents to offer to the world? So why was she stripping and trying to get money off of older guys?

As he thought about this he began to waver on his thoughts of her being a gold-digger. There were plenty of women who liked older men. But what exactly did John have to offer a young girl such as herself, _young_ being the key word. He worked in sex crimes, and a guy his age with a girl her age was just wrong. What could they possibly relate to?

Finally they got to the top of the staircase which led to the second floor. Jodi turned and waited for John who had lost footing behind her looking at all her pictures. After making it to the landing he followed Jodi down the hall, glancing back and forth between the artwork on the walls and the plants that sat on neat little tables beneath them. Either she had hired a decorator, or this girl was quite the homemaker, while most her age were still living with their parents.

There were a lot of things Jodi was doing well beyond her years, the most prominent being her coping mechanisms which were beginning to worry John as well. Here was a girl who had been brutally raped and was now being stalked and constantly bombarded by the media as the case grew, as well as threats from her rapist promising to finish the job.

Any sensible girl (even a middle-aged woman) would be beside herself with fear and grief, but here was Jodi going on like nothing was wrong. He knew she couldn't have really felt that way, the dark circles under her eyes and developing wrinkles in her face hinted at that. Not to mention the way she clenched her jaw and fists, or how she looked around every few minutes as though expecting something. Olivia said she had been having nightmares. She wasn't dealing with the reality of what had happened, and was instead pushing it to the back of the closet. It worried him. He had seen many victims destroy themselves that way, and refused to see it happen to her.

"Listen, Jodi there's something I need to ask you. Can we just talk for a quick moment?" John said softly and Jodi turned around and faced him, eyes widened in subtle surprise.

"Of course what's up?"

"I'm a little bit concerned…well not just me about how you're dealing with this. I mean most victims are torn to pieces and you're acting like it didn't even happen. It's not healthy, you should really talk to someone. You can even talk to me, I'll give you my number you can call me whenever you want." John offered, pulling out a small notebook and a pen. Glancing up he noticed Jodi's face had suddenly become completely pallid, as though she had just seen a ghost or something worse.

"It's easy to pretend like it never happened when it's happened to you before." Jodi said softly and John froze, glancing at her sharply. Her face was flushed bright red, her eyes cast down at the ground. He watched as she hugged herself with her arms, as though trying to protect herself.

"What? What do you mean?" he asked sharply. Was she saying this had happened before?

"When I was 11…" she trailed off then shook her head and sighed, letting out a deep breath "you know I really don't like talking about this." She suddenly said, full lips turned into a prominent frown.

Her face was completely tense, her eyes glassy as though she were not even there. John longed to know what was going on in her mind, and recognized her expression easily. He should have seen it from the beginning. Her promiscuous behavior, her neglect of her talents. She had been raped before, and at the age of 11 it seemed…

Who was it? Her father perhaps? He was in jail. It explained why she moved with her aunt. And where was her mother? Had she let this happen? All John knew was that he wanted to both wrap his arms around Jodi and ply as much information from her as he could. This explained so much and more. Perhaps her rapist was a repeat offender. Was this why he had taken such an interest in her?

He knew that if he tried to get answers out of her she would only shut down though. There had to be a way to go about this. These were the things they needed to know from the beginning, and had a chance of helping them find Jodi's rapist.

"You know, maybe we should just go back downstairs." She said before heading down the staircase before John could even say anything. He followed, quickly catching up with her before she could go seek solace somewhere. Reaching out, he grabbed her forearm tightly and pulled her over before grasping her hand tightly in his own.

It was as though she was slipping through the cracks, her façade failing miserably. Her lip quivered and her jaw was clenched in a way that was downright unhealthy. Without thinking, John pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her just as violent tremors wracked her body.

"God!" she screamed, clawing at his back as she gasped for air and choked loudly. With each sob he squeezed her tighter, burying his head in her scented hair to shield her from the problems of the world. She needed to be held, and he was there to do that for her.

Beneath him she slid, falling to the floor and John supported her so that she landed on the stairs. Covering her face she leaned against the wall and shook her head. John put his arm around he and leaned in, putting a hand under her chin as he tried to coax her from her hiding place. Leaning in close so that their noses almost touched he whispered gently.

"Hey, it's alright. It's alright come on." He said softly, putting a hand on the back of Jodi's neck.

"Hey Munch you down here?!" Fin exclaimed, turning the corner and stopping in front of the staircase as his eyes landed on John and Jodi on the stairs. Face arranged with a mixture of emotions John and Jodi parted like two teens caught making out by their parents. Quickly, Jodi stood out and straightened her shirt. John joined her, clearing his throat.

"I…I'm going to go shower." She managed to spit, sniffling and making her way up the stairs. Like a ticking time bomb, the minute she was out of sight Fin pounced on John like a hound.

"What the hell was that?" he raised his arms and John sighed, attempting to push past him.

"What was what?"

"Don't play dumb you know exactly what. What the hell was that?" Fin nodded up the stairs and John rolled his eyes.

"I was hugging her. Nothing illegal about that." John argued.

"That was a lot more than hugging. You two were about three seconds from a lip lock and you know it. What are you doing man?"

"She was _crying_. Now if you're done being a total and complete dumbass we have things to do. Did you know she was raped once before? When she was _eleven_? We need to find out what we can about that. What if this is the same guy?!" John exclaimed like a man on a mission. Quickly he ripped his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open, ready to dial Olivia. She had to be back at the station by now.

"I saw a truck driving away I think a package just came for Jodi." Fin said.

"I got it." John replied then dialed Olivia. She picked up after a few rings and immediately he bombarded her with the news.

"So Jodi was raped at 11 and you think it could be the same attacker?"

"I don't know Liv, but we never did find out why her father was in jail. Could be that he was the rapist for all we know. But if it was the same guy, that would mean we've had a rapist on a seven year stretch. Think how many victims that could be."

"Your right. We need to find out more about her father. I'll put a call into Sing-Sing, something just came in I've gotta go."

They both hung up the phone and John opened Jodi's front door, grabbing the package that lay on her stoop. Looking up and down the street he observed another next door. The UPS guy must have made a stop. Holding it up he shook it to be certain he heard no beeping then brought it in, wondering how to go about opening it. It wouldn't be good for Jodi to open it in her room only to find more threats. But he couldn't go through her mail either without asking.

Clutching it tightly John moved to the staircase and sat down. It was better to be safe than sorry, and he knew Jodi probably wouldn't mind all that much. Pulling out a pocket knife he dug into the tape, just as Jodi made her way down the stairs.

"What's that?" she asked, clad in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

"You got a package. Just wanted to make sure it's safe is all." John replied, opening the flaps.

Tearing through bundles of tissue paper he froze as he revealed the object inside. Nestled deeply beneath the tissue he quickly snapped the box shut.

"What? What is it?" Jodi asked, and John did not respond completely unsure of how to tell her. Walking towards the door with the box he ignored Jodi's questions, so absorbed in thought about the shocking discovery he had just made that he wasn't watching as Fin collided with him, coming down the hall.

As if in slow motion the box tumbled out of his hands and onto the floor, spilling its precious and horrifying contents: a human head.

It rolled to the base of the staircase and all fell silent before Jodi opened her mouth, attempting to let out a scream that never came. Scrambling, he attempted to grab the bloody surprise and shove it back into the box as Jodi finally sank down onto the stairs. Worried she would pass out he dropped it on the floor, rushing up the steps and clutching her into his arms just as her breathing became labored and she broke into a hysteric fit.

"What the hell?!" Fin screamed, jumping back and John covered Jodi's eyes as she writhed against him, attempting to break free from his grip all while screaming wildly.

Pulling out his phone, Fin began to dial Olivia's number before it began ringing. Answering it he glanced up at John and mouthed _Elliot_.

"Listen, Elliot we got a-_what_?" Fin narrowed his eyes, then glanced down at the head on the floor before hanging up the phone.

"Son of a bitch got another. Found headless." He said, and Jodi wailed beneath John. Squeezing her tightly he stared at his partner as they both silently wondered how the hell they were going to catch this guy.


	6. Desire

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise. **

**Desire**

Jodi sat on the stoop outside her home, staring up at the sky which was gradually beginning to darken. The days were getting shorter, the air colder, and her life more and more complicated.

The flashing lights atop the police cruisers outside her home reminded her with each passing moment that her life was as far from normal as possible. Although even without them, the severed head that lay just beyond her front door was more than enough to remind her of the seriousness of the situation. She was being stalked, watched possibly this very second, all so that someday (near or far she did not know) she would be his victim once again.

Jodi never imagined that a man she barely knew would play such an integral role in her life. He had stolen her freedom, her independence. He had instilled her with constant fear and given her a life that revolved around waiting to die. She did not know he name, she did not even know what he looked like. Yet she knew how he felt when he was inside of her, ironically the most intimate thing she could know about a person. She knew the way his member curved, and she knew the length of each thrust. Jodi knew everything, and nothing about him.

He had invaded her life, her home, and was slowly eating away at her sanity. Each day she waited she wondered when the time would finally come. It was as though he kept her on a string, wanting to catapult her life into absolute misery so that she feared each and every second of the day.

The door opened behind her but Jodi did not notice. She was focused on the fear that tore at her heart rabidly as she thought about her death and what it would be like to come face to face with him for the last time. The question remained: _why her_?

"It's freezing out here, you're going to get sick." A voice said softly, and Jodi turned her head slightly as warmth surrounded her. It was only then that she realized how cold she was. Pulling the blanket around her body she welcomed the company of Detective John Munch as he sat down beside her, rubbing his hands together against the cold temperatures.

"Thank you." Jodi said softly, then glanced at his large hands. Tentatively, she reached out and grasped one of them in her own, relishing both his warmth and the feel of another against her skin. Particularly, the feel of one who she found desirable.

He looked down but much to her relief did not remove his hand. Holding tightly Jodi felt a little bit stronger. John Munch did that to her. He had a habit of making her feel safe even when the world was literally caving in around her.

After several silent moments he opened his mouth and said the thing that had been weighing heavily on her mind for the past hour.

"So you knew her?"

The instantly she set eyes on the decapitated head, she recognized the identity immediately. It was more fearful than anything, how close he had come.

"I hadn't seen her in years. Not since I first moved here. My aunt never talked about her, she kind of just pretended she wasn't in her life anymore."

And how she must have regretted it. Jodi was told that her aunt was not yet aware of the death of her daughter. The detectives asked if Jodi wanted to be the one to let her know and she had agreed, although the very thought made her want to heave violently.

"Why?" John asked.

"When the drugs started, she kicked her out. Angela was angry with her, and my aunt was even more angry that she had fallen into that sort of thing. I never got to know her much since she was so much older than me, and she never came around. Last I heard she was fucking guys for cash. No surprise there, it was only a matter of time. I never thought about her really I've been so absorbed in my own life. Now I wish I had…" Jodi trailed off.

She felt selfish. She had long been caught between a mix of hatred for her cousin as well as pity. She pitied the facts that she was a slave of the streets, and loathed that she had put herself there. More so for the reason that drugs and the streets had done so much to her and her family. If she had just given some thought to maybe convincing her aunt to get some help, maybe Angela would still be alive.

"It's not your fault and you know that. She had control of her own life and her own choices, no matter how harsh it is to say. You should really consider giving some thought into witness protection. That could've been a bomb or something worse." John suddenly said, his face strangely tense.

It was the first thing said the moment the police had walked in the door. They kept trying to convince her to leave but there was no way in hell she was going to leave her home. She wasn't going to run in fear. She wouldn't give him that sort of satisfaction. No, she would meet the bastard head-on.

"I'm not leaving." She insisted with a tone of finality that ended any chance of debate. All she wanted to do was wake up only to discover that this was all a nightmare. However, that would in fact mean never having met the man who sat next to her.

The ordinary Jodi was a sexual prowess who had been with men of all ages. She had lost her virginity the summer before high school to her best friend at the time, although they no longer talked. It had been a memorable night, full of awkwardness and laughs that she would always remember even if he didn't.

At times she would consider herself a nymphomaniac. She was slave to sexual desire, the feeling of being with a man (or a woman when the occasion arose) was heaven to her, and nothing could compare with the euphoria of an orgasm. She was a sexual girl in less explicit terms, and she enjoyed it.

Still, she wondered what it would feel like to be beneath the sweaty arms of someone she cared for deeply. Every time she was around John Munch her heart fluttered and she felt like a little girl with a crush. Perhaps it was the fact that she wasn't sure she could have him that made her like him all the more.

He was a respectable detective, and what respectable detective carried on with an 18-year-old stripper? It couldn't happen, and because it couldn't happen she _longed _for it to happen. Besides that he was caring, kind, and handsome in his own way. He was the forbidden fruit.

She could never tell if she had any effect on him or not. At times he seemed uncomfortable, yet Jodi could not tell if that discomfort was because he wanted her, or because he didn't. She felt like a kid with a crush. Technically, she was.

With a sigh she stood up, making her way back into the house. Detective Munch followed her, and as the commotion continued she walked up the steps to her bedroom, turning to see if he would follow. He lingered at the base of the steps where two officers spoke, looking up at her and the two stared at one another before Jodi continued and went up to her room.

* * *

John sat on the couch, watching as Jodi walked into the room wearing a pair of the shortest shorts he had ever seen and a tight tank top. She padded in with bare feet, her toes and ankles wrapped in bandages and a brace around her knee. Face devoid of makeup and hair on top of her head in a bun she looked ethereal, even with the dark circles under her eyes and tension in her face.

Moving over to the couch she sat down beside him, sitting on the edge like someone waiting to get up at any point and time. It made him uncomfortable, and he sat up as well, grabbing the remote and turning down the television that all the detectives had taken a liking to.

John let his eyes glance at her endless legs for a moment. Sweat coated her curvy body and her flesh glistened, several strands of red hair matted to her neck. John noticed that she winced as she sat down, and he noticed several red flecks beneath the athletic tape.

"You alright?" John asked, and Jodi nodded with a ghost of a smile.

"Just doing a little dancing. You need anything out here I wanted to check before I jumped in the shower."

"No, I'm fine. You know, if you want to visit your aunt I could drive you." John offered and Jodi's eyes softened, glistening slightly.

"No, I know her. She's going to want some time alone to deal with this. Probably about three days before she agrees to see anyone. My aunt is a very…different woman. She does her grieving her own way, and I've always respected her for that."

John said nothing, completely unsure what to say exactly. This girl was going through hell and it seemed that the devil did not want to give her a break. Even when he closed his eyes he was faced with the open-mouthed dead stare of the woman's head. She had fear written all over her face. Whether the bastard had done this intentionally knowing the woman's proximity to Jodi or if it had been a coincidence, he had just upped his game tenfold. He was a serial killer now, and a sadistic one at that.

"John can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course, anything." John replied, loving the way she said his name. It was almost tender and caring.

"Well…it's a bit strange, but if you could hear me out…" she trailed off, face flushing brightly. John wondered what she would ask, but the fact was he really would do just about anything for her.

"I'm all ears. Literally and figuratively." He joked before she could get to it. It was one of the ways he kept his dignity. If he threw out a joke before someone else could get to an insult he could protect himself from embarrassment.

Jodi did not reply to his joke, only stared at him with watery eyes that made him deflate slightly. Her pain was written all over her face. Both emotional and physical.

"I've been having a hard time sleeping and I…I've always slept better with someone beside me. I was wondering, could you maybe come upstairs with me? It wouldn't be anything sexual and I know it's not professional, you don't even have to get in bed with me I'd just like to have someone there you know, until I fall asleep. My father used to do it, he would lay on top of my comforter. I mean if not it's fine it's just I've been having nightmares and I'm really-"

"-Of course." John cut her off. He could see she was rambling with nervousness, her face read and worried. The moment he replied her eyes widened and her full lips parted the slightest bit in evident surprise.

A million thoughts went through his head. Like the fact that he was actually agreeing to this. It crossed more boundaries than he cared to admit. He was to spend the night there, three uniforms surrounding the house. A car sat on the front entrance, one in the back and another circling the neighborhood throughout the night.

Agreeing to what he just had could single-handedly cost him his job. Climbing into bed with an active case. An active case with a sordid sexual history. He knew no matter what there was no way in hell he could possibly sleep with her. It was so out of the question that John knew he must restrain himself. He also knew that if anyone found out he would be on desk duty and forced to tell every single thought in his head to Cragen.

His heart pounded in his ears at the thought of being in such an intimate situation. Simply being in her bedroom was enough to make his heart soar. But he understood. There were nights when she couldn't stand being alone, with the pictures of what he had seen played over and over in his head.

On those nights, he went out and got a drink then came home with some bimbo. It was enough for the night, and the next day he could forget his problems momentarily and move on.

Standing up, Jodi headed towards the stairs, glancing back at John with a silent hint. He turned off the television and stood up, straightening his sweater and following her up the staircase. This time, his focus was not on her ass but her slumped shoulders, the evident sadness in her step. This was not the buxom and bubbling girl he had seen on stage. This was someone else entirely.

She pointed him to her bedroom and he flicked on the light, looking across the massive room. The master bedroom was certainly made for two people. In the center, a large bed sat with about a dozen pillows or so in a décor theme of pale pink and gold. Up above was a mahogany canopy with delicate carvings.

Glancing around John studied the place. Extremely well kept, tidy, organized. Across from the bed was a television mounted on the wall. Not as large as the one in the living room, but still large for a bedroom. In the corner of the room was a black tangled harness that could only be a sex swing.

Again, he was caught wondering about this strange girl that utterly and completely bewildered him. He was certain that she knew a hell of a lot more than he did at her age, and he had been a horny teenage boy.

Taking off his jacket and shoes John looked around, taking in the room and thinking to make himself comfortable. It was hard to without Jodi. He could hear water running in the master bathroom which was attached to her room, and wondered how long she would be in the shower. Sighing, he simply began to make his way around the room, observing and taking things in as he did so.

On her dresser were several framed pictures. Jodi with a who he assumed to be her parents, Jodi playing the piano, Jodi at some school dance with a guy who looked nothing like what he expected. Leaning forward he glanced at the picture closely.

It was dated from the previous year. It must have been her junior prom. She was clad in a black dress made of lace and feathers that stopped just above the knee, and clung to a guy about twice her size in both height in weight. He was certainly not handsome, but boasted a crown and sash naming him prom king. His face was dotted with acne and he had spiky blonde hair. John wondered if perhaps she was so shallow she would go out with a guy who was prom king regardless of what he looked like.

He was proven wrong though. Looking around he found several other pictures of the two. Some of them having fun with groups of friends, all dated from before the prom picture. So as beautiful as Jodi was, she did not seem to focus on guys for their looks.

He had been so busy looking through her pictures John did not even notice Jodi until she was behind him. Spinning around he almost jumped and she smirked slightly, red hair hanging limp and straight around her face.

She was clad in a silk bathrobe and John prayed there was something underneath. Holding a towel she patted at her fiery hair, rubbing the damp locks.

"Ex-boyfriend. Well, sort of. We never officially called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. He was always carrying on with some girl that he really liked, and I wasn't going to stop that. I always wish I had been more dominant in his life though, because he dropped out of college. I talk to him every now and then, and he's not doing so hot. Not that he'd admit that." She shrugged, then spun around and walked over to the bed.

Peeling back the covers Jodi slipped inside then stared at John expectedly. Pulling off his shoes he climbed in beside her, resting on top of the comforter. Even through the thick layers he could feel the outline of her body and struggled not to roll over and climb on top of her.

Turning over on her side and stared at him, green eyes piercing into his brown ones. They said nothing, and silently said everything. John was certain he would have a heart attack. Staring at one another Jodi sat up on her elbow, damp hair falling down. As she did, her robe opened a bit and he could see she was wearing nothing but a lacy sheer bra underneath.

"I like you John." She said, and he swallowed, suddenly finding it hard to do so. The way she suggested it seemed to go far beyond liking his personality, and like a kid in junior high he almost wanted to raise his eyebrows and say "like-like?".

"I like you too Jodi." He replied honestly. At this, Jodi smiled then slid back down onto her pillows. She continued to stare at him until her eyes closed and she slipped off into sleep. It wasn't long before John followed.

* * *

_Jodi opened her eyes slowly, blinking away sleep as she glanced at the sleeping body next to her. Smiling slightly her heart fluttered in her chest with happiness when she found him sleeping there beside her. He had stayed with her, just as she wished he would. Her knight in shining honor. _

_Clutching her robe tightly she slipped out from under the covers, feeling the warmth of the sun which spilled from the window and onto her skin. It snuck through the silk, heating her flesh and Jodi longed to let the robe slip to the ground, making her body the first thing John had seen when he awoke. _

_Just as she thought about it John grunted, opening his eyes as he looked upon her. _

"_Good morning." Jodi smiled, and John grinned back at her. She liked the way he smiled. _

"_Hi." He replied back and she lingered for a moment before remembering she had just awoken and had both morning breath and puffy eyes. If only she had put a little makeup on before she had went to sleep. It was foolish, but she really wanted to impress him. _

"_I have to brush my teeth." She said quietly then walked towards the bathroom before he said anything. She could feel his eyes on her body and strode towards the bathroom, shutting the door just lightly enough. Quickly, she turned on the water and grabbed her things, brushing her teeth to rid her breath of the morning. Grabbing the knot of her robe she undid it then slipped out of the silken cocoon. Reaching back, she unhooked her bra and stepped out of her panties, pushing them aside with a dainty foot then leaned forward to look at herself in the mirror. _

_The dark circles under her eyes and wrinkles on her forehead told it all. She didn't want to look at herself . She didn't want to think about it. Turning around she reached into her show and turned on the water, then spun around as a sound captured her attention._

_The door had opened, and John walked inside. He stared at her unabashedly, his thin frame standing in the doorway, clothes wrinkled from sleep and white hair messy on top of his head. He stood with his hands in his pockets, completely confident and sure of himself for the first time Jodi had seen. Standing naked before him she breathed, heat flooding her body with excitement. _

_Eyes never leaving her body, John sauntered over then put his hands on her bare shoulders. She adored the way he towered over her, long and lanky. She wondered how he would stack up downstairs, if the length of his cock would match his frame. She had been pleasantly surprised by quite a few men in her time. _

_John's brown eyes met her own, and Jodi arched her back as his hands wandered her body. His fingers trailed down her shoulder blades, over her skin, lingered at the small of her back. And each second she got closer and closer until she pressed her body against his own. _

_Without a word he spun her around and let his hand fall against her ass. Jodi bent over the sink, gripping the counter and cried aloud in pleasure as he smacked her bottom firmly. He was dominant, just what she loved in a man._

_Pressing himself against her Jodi could feel him grow hard beneath his pants and moved slowly, rubbing herself against his crotch and listening to him moan beneath her. She wanted him inside her, and now. She could feel herself growing wet with each passing second._

_Reaching around he grabbed one of her breasts and Jodi moaned loudly, her sensitive nipple hardening in his palm. Tilting her head back Jodi bit her lip, wondering what was next and finding it as John plunged two fingers into her folds. Grasping the sink Jodi keened in pleasure as he moved his fingers in and out of her, and all she could think of was having him inside of her. _

_Straightening up she spun around and put her hands around John's neck, reaching down for his belt buckle. She unfastened it with expert fingers and pushed his pants down, all the while letting her tongue move about his mouth._

_John kissed her back, putting a hand around Jodi's neck before grabbing her by her legs and hoisting her up onto the sink. With her legs spread he leaned in and kissed her neck, taking skin between his teeth and sucking roughly. Toying with the waistband of his underpants, Jodi let her fingers slip inside as she grasped at his manhood, stroking. _

"_Fuck me." She begged, panting in his ear._

Jodi awoke just as John prepared to take her. With bleary eyes and rolled closer to him, snuggling so that her body fit against his.

* * *

John opened his eyes. Immediately, he reached down to where he had remembered placing his glasses and slipped them on. Glancing over he peered at the clock on the nightstand beside Jodi's bed. It was five in the morning. He had fallen asleep longer than he meant to.

Sitting up he glanced over at Jodi and found that at some point in the night he had slipped beneath the covers. Gratefully, he was still dressed although one moment of feeling her warmth beside him was enough to send a rush of blood to his loins. Quickly getting out of the bed he slipped into his shoes and thought about anything but Jodi to stop himself from getting hard.

As he moved about Jodi muttered something and rolled over, talking in her sleep. Her robe had fallen open revealing tan flesh and John lingered for a minute, staring at her bra. Her nipples peaked through the sheer fabric and he had to drag himself out of her bedroom before his erection grew.

* * *

"Can someone please tell me we've found a pattern here." Donald Cragen said with a tone that screamed of a man who was on his last nerve. Standing in the quad room he glanced at all the detectives of the Special Victims Unit.

"Turns out all the victims worked in some sex-related atmosphere. Either strip joints or prostitution. It seems like our guy is attacking girls who are particularly vulnerable."

"Yeah but Jodi Stanford wasn't your run of the mill stripper. The club she works at is considered more of a burlesque than a strip club, and she's got tons of fans. She's popular. It doesn't make sense. Why go from her to these other girls." Elliot spoke up.

"Jodi is some sort of trophy to him. It's the reason he keeps stalking her. He's saving her from last this attack is really personal. She persists she doesn't know him or anyone who would come after her." Olivia shrugged.

"The real question is whether or not the killer knew the connection between our latest victim and Jodi. They knew each other. She was her cousin. You have to think. The guy sent her head to Jodi's front doorstep." Elliot said.

"Speaking of which last time I checked heads weren't regularly sent through the USPS. Anyone know how it got there?" Cragen crossed his arms.

"I saw the truck going down the street. It was packaged and delivered by the USPS." Munch replied.

"Well, someone better get down there and press their asses for just what the hell is going on. In the meantime, we need to find out if Jodi Stanford had any connections to any of the other victims. Someone give her a call, I need to go sort this mess out with the Chief of D's before it hits the press."

With that, everyone scattered for a new job. Olivia grabbed her keys then headed towards the door. Quickly, Munch chased her down.

"Hey Liv!" he exclaimed and she spun around.

"Hey what's up?"

"Why don't you go check out the post office and I'll bring Jodi back. I think she's a little more comfortable around me."

Olivia peered at him. His voice said one thing, his tone said another. It was as though he was nervous about something, and Olivia wondered if John had feelings for Jodi. She certainly was an attractive girl. Any man (or woman's) dream in fact. But the way Jodi turned on her charm and worked her body worried Olivia more than anything. Munch could wind up getting himself hurt _and _losing his job. This was really turning into a high profile case.

Not only that, but there was no way Jodi would ever go for Munch. She could have any guy in the world. It wasn't that Olivia didn't love Munch, she really did, but girls like her simply didn't go after guys like him unless there was money involved.

"Okay." She finally said, forcing herself to smile. Immediately, Munch brightened then took off with inhuman speed and confirmed Olivia's theory. She made a note to sit down and talk with him about it before things got too out of hand.

At that moment Elliot walked past, giving her a pat on the shoulder. At the same time Alex Cabot walked into the squad room. Olivia looked between the two of them and felt her heart pound in her ears.

She was one to judge about forbidden love.

* * *

John walked into Jodi's living room anxiously where he found her laying across the couch with her long legs splayed in all directions. She was wearing an extremely large t-shirt that fell mid-thigh and it appeared nothing else, red hair up in a bun on top of her head.

"Hi John. I wish you had told me you were coming I look a fright." Jodi said, pushing herself off the couch and standing up. It was when she did this that he got a glimpse of the muscles in her legs. Quite impressive. It was evident what effect years of strenuous dancing had on the body.

Sitting in a reclining chair facing the television was a suit that John didn't know. He was a young detective, young enough that John had to wonder why they would put an inexperienced guy on a job like this.

His face had not even filled out completely, with fatty cheeks and big blue eyes. He was grasping a video game controller in his hands and it was only when John glanced at the television again that he realized he and Jodi were playing a game. A very violent one at that. On the coffee table was a plate of chocolate chip cookies. It seemed Jodi had a habit of making people very comfortable in her home.

Reaching over, John grabbed one and shoved it in his mouth, crunching down on soft chocolate and sweet biscuit. Indeed, it was fantastic and he had not a doubt in his mind that Jodi had made them from scratch. She stood up, eyes twinkling then leaned in and threw her arms around him for a moment as though they were longtime friends and not a detective looking after a rape victim. Not that John could complain. Her soft body pressed against his felt better than he could have even imagined, and his thoughts went to the previous night when they had shared her bed together. So close.

"I was wondering if you're feeling up to it I need to take you down to the station and ask you a few questions. See if you can identify any of the other girls. We might have a gruesome pattern here." John said and noticed her smile disappear for a moment. Within several seconds she composed her face however, and nodded.

"Of course. Just let me throw some things on. Um Joe, did you hear that I'm going down to the station."

"Yeah." Said the officer named Joe who stood up and turned to face John. He regarded the younger boy with a look of caution then looked on as Jodi rushed up the steps. Glancing over at the kid John studied him intently, watching him squirm beneath his gaze

"How old are you?"

"23." The boy responded, seemingly uncertain. He was so nervous that John almost laughed aloud but stopped himself. At least he could find one area in his life where he intimidated someone.

Suddenly Jodi rushed down the stairs, zipping up her jeans as she did so. She was wearing an NYU hoodie, her hair tied back in a ponytail. Walking to the doormat she slipped on a pair of boots then clapped her hands together, walking towards John.

"Okay I'm ready." She said.

"That all you're going to wear? It's pretty chilly outside." He said. Indeed, the winds were fierce and the temperature was unseasonably cold.

"Yeah I'm fine I don't get cold." Jodi shrugged, the threw open the front door.

About ten minutes later she seemed to be eating her words as she turned on the heat in the car. John smirked, glancing as she took her hair down and pulled it over her ears.

"You seem cold." He said and Jodi glared at him with exaggeration then smiled the slightest bit and crossed her legs, leaning over so that she was closer to him. They rode to the station keeping up conversation. Jodi would occasionally reach out and turn up or turn down the radio and when she did so, her hand would brush up against his. Each time she did so John tensed, wishing he could reach over and let his hands clumsily run over her body. He felt like a kid again, and he wanted to find a secluded place, park, then take her to the backseat.

But he couldn't do any of that. So, he simply drove in silence then left himself to simply fantasize about her.

* * *

Jodi wished she could grab John's hand as they got out of the car. The precinct loomed overhead and suddenly she felt very small and very intimidated. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and have him hold her all the way into the bathroom but there was no way that was going to happen.

She stood close to him, leaning in as much as she could. Much to her surprise as they stood outside the building he put an arm around her, pulling her close then leaned in close, lips brushing against her hair.

"Hey you alright?" he asked.

"Yes." She replied nervously, looking up at him. She had never been nervous in her life, and the combination of both the task ahead and the man standing beside her. She embraced his touch, glancing up so that his lips found her forehead. Her stomach fluttered and her heart pounded in her chest.

"Don't worry, I'm here come on." He whispered, and Jodi closed her eyes. She never felt better than she did when she was in the arms of a man. She wanted to melt against him. She wanted to feel him inside of her, and be closer to him. As close as two human beings could possibly be. She hadn't been with anyone since the rape, she hoped John would be that person.

Jodi put her hand on his chest then tilted her head up.

"We should go now." John said before she could open her mouth, and spun around. At first, Jodi deflated by as he grabbed her hand in his own she immediately soared once more.

"Good morning Jodi." Detective Benson smiled as they walked into the squad room, and John quickly dropped her hand. Looking around, Jodi took in the mass of people all buzzing about the room like bees in a hive. People milled about here and there, stacks of paper flying, telephones ringing, it was like a circus.

Or a madhouse.

"Hello Detective Benson." Jodi replied with a smile, still trying to take everything in. She had never been to a police station before, not even after her accident all those years back, and was astounded how…lively it was.

"We're going to go to an interrogation room, it's pretty noisy in here." John said to both her and Detective Benson. Jodi nodded thankfully. She could barely hear herself think in the chaotic mix of noise that surrounded her, and was certain that she would lose her mind if she was forced to spend one more second surrounded by all these people doing all these things.

Walking to what Jodi assumed to be his desk, she waited patiently as John grabbed a stack of folders then nodded for her to follow him. On her way she took one last glance and gave a small wave to Detective Benson who continued to stare at her, and Jodi wondered if John had told anyone he had gotten into bed with her last night.

It hadn't been anything sexually, but she sure as hell wished it had. When she had awaken in the morning to find him gone she was somewhat disappointed, although she discovered that he had gotten under the covers with her at some point during the night. Just the thought that she had spent the night beside him was enough to make her smile and Jodi bit her lip as they walked into a dull grey interrogation room, facing what she assumed to be the infamous one-sided mirror.

"Okay can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? Something from the snack machines?" John offered.

"No, I'm fine thanks." Jodi replied, tucking a stray hair behind her ear and stepping up to the table. Glancing around she shivered. The room was cold. It was in here that so many men confessed their heinous crimes. She was standing in the place where men like her attacker once stood. Disgusting file men who hated women.

_Men who hate women_. She thought bitterly as her mind went to one of her favorite books, _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_ and it's gruesome subject matter. If only she could take a page from Lisbeth Salander and go after her attacker in a way where she could dominate his life and give him an everyday reminder of what he was. Sadly, she didn't even know what he looked like.

"Okay, here you go." John slapped down a manila folder in front of her and Jodi opened it, immediately jumping back. The first thing she saw was a picture of a young woman, evidently dead. A nasty ring circled her neck in a way that meant she had been strangled to death. Bruises covered her body which was naked and splayed across the ground, her leg at a strange angle with a dent in her thigh like he had crushed it with his knee.

Jodi pushed the picture away before she could study it any further, trying to steady herself. Was that how she had looked laying half-clothed and crying in the street? Was that what he was going to do to her?

She couldn't forget the scar on her back. The tightening skin was a reminder of that. Had he done it to her as well?

"I'm sorry I should've given you a warning, you okay?" John asked, reaching out a hand and this time Jodi slapped it away, standing up and walking to a corner of the room. Crossing her arms and pressed her head against the wall and felt its coolness upon her burning skin. Closing her eyes, she saw the body again and this time swallowed, trying to stop the lump that was forming in her throat.

Hands made their way to her shoulders calmly, and she found herself steered back to the table and sat down all as if in a daze. Glancing up she took a deep breath, trying to compose herself before daring her eyes to look back at the picture.

"I don't know her." She finally said, looking up at John.

"Are you sure? Her name is Angelina Kristanti. She worked on the circuit."

"No I would've known her. I can tell you all the girls' names, measurements, and talents. Besides, Caleb never hires girls from off the street. He's a bit pretentious." Jodi shrugged then rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward, closing her eyes. She couldn't do this. Immediately her mind was flooded with the memory of her attack and Jodi wanted it to stop.

She didn't know that she had been rocking in her chair until she glanced up to find John staring with immense concern. Getting down on one knee he put a hand under her chin, his dark eyes peering into her own. She looked back into his own for strength, swallowing then gripped the table.

"He it's okay. You don't have to do this." John reassured her, and Jodi did the only thing she could. She needed a distraction, she needed to feel better, and more than anything she needed to feeling of sexual pleasure. Leaning down she pressed her lips against his own, finding her place in his mouth.

He tried to pull away but she drew him back with her mouth, putting her hands in his hair. This time he kissed her back, tentatively at first then more aggressively as though finally trusting himself. Jodi snaked her hands around to his neck then pressed herself against him, letting her tongue brush his lips eagerly.

He smelled good, and tasted better. His mouth was warm, experienced, and as he placed his hands on Jodi's thighs she decided she wanted him as soon as possible. Fuck professionalism, fuck her case. She wanted to _be _fucked by this man right here.

"What the hell?"

They both spun around to find Fin standing in the doorway, eyes narrowed in disbelief. As her face heated Jodi refused to turn around and was thankful when John stood up and walked to greet his partner, leaving her to recoup and attempt to collect herself.

"What's going on?" John asked like nothing had happened.

"We got another body." Jodi heard Fin say and immediately she stood up, turning around so swiftly her chair fell over.

They both spun around and stared at Jodi who began to shake. John rushed to her, putting his hands on her shoulders just as she fell to the ground and everything went dark.

.


	7. Interrogation

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise, or the right to the works of Chopin.**

**Interrogation**

Jodi stepped out of the Crown Vic with a yawn, stretching her arms behind her and slamming the door shut. As she gazed upon the front steps of her home, she could not remember ever being happier than to see it right now. Padding up the steps with gusto she pulled out her key and unlocked the door, glancing back and waiting for her companion.

It had been the day. After giving time to grieve, Jodi had taken John along with her (for moral support) to visit her aunt and check in on her about the death of her cousin. The fact was, she had kept her own rape to herself up until now, and this was the first time she had alerted her aunt of her danger. Immediately, she begged Jodi to enter protection of some sort but Jodi brushed it off with a hug and told her she would keep in touch until this awful mess was over.

That was the end of that. She had to admit, after revealing the nature of the crime Jodi was afraid her aunt would blame her. After all, it was because her lack of evidence that this guy was still on the street, and the detectives were still trying to figure out if the murder was meant to serve as message to Jodi. So far she knew none of the other girls, but she had learned the detectives at the SVU didn't deal in coincidence.

Alas though, her aunt did not, and she bade Jodi a tearful goodbye after assuring her she could move in any time she wanted. Jodi took this thankfully then headed back to the car with John, leaving Long Island and heading back to her Sutton Place townhouse with a newfound sense of calm.

Walking into her kitchen, Jodi opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of Sam Adams, tossing one at John. He caught the frosty glass vessel and sat down with her at the island, cracking open his beer and taking a sip. Jodi sat beside him, legs crossed and took a long swig of her own then sat it down on the counter loudly and turned to face John.

"This never happened, do you understand me?" he raised his eyebrows and Jodi nodded giving a small smile. A part of her liked seeing that he was willing to break the rules around her, although he could've just been a man who liked pushing boundaries in general. She still had not figured out everything about him, and really wanted to.

"No one can blame you if you don't remember." Jodi grinned bravely, and she noted John's confused look before she smiled and continued. "After all, my purpose is to get you good and drunk. Then I can do whatever in this world I want with you Detective." She winked bravely, turning on the charm as she so often did.

Immediately, she noted John's face. It seemed he was caught in a state of disbelief over what she had just said and for good measure she leaned forward, never taking her eyes off of him so that he could process her words and know that she certainly meant what she said.

For that particular day, Jodi had decided that what she wanted was John Munch, and in truth, she always got what she wanted. Any man she wanted she got, and no matter how much he resisted her charms she was going to make sure she got him, and showed him the time of his life.

She still could not place a finger on what exactly attracted her to him. He was handsome, of course, although he was no Brad Pitt. Jodi was sure it had something do with his humor, and even more the fact that he didn't focus on her looks and see her as just some bimbo that liked to put out. No, he seemed to see Jodi as a young woman who was sincerely trying, and John was the only man who Jodi let her guard down around.

More than anything he was not simply sexually desirable. Jodi could envision herself in a relationship with him, and that didn't happen quite often. Relationships were a rarity in her life, and it was even more rare that she would seek out a man with the intention of more than sex. In truth she was tired of relationships that didn't work out. She saw herself dating guys who could only someday become The One.

"Want something a little stronger?" she asked, and John hesitated, putting his beer down.

"What have you got?" John asked.

"Anything and everything, although like you said…this never happened. Let me fix you a drink detective." Jodi winked and again, John simply stared at her open-mouth before shaking his head slightly and speaking up.

"Surprise me." He said, and she nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder for a moment then walking to the other side of the island and opening the liquor cabinets beneath. Pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniel's she filled two high-balls with ice then poured over the whiskey, walking over and handing John one then taking a sip of her own with a wink.

"You're going to be the death of me. Or my job at least." John said before taking a drink from his glass and Jodi smiled, setting hers down and crossing her legs, resting her jaw on her hand.

"So humor me John, I see no ring on your finger and believed me I looked. Do you have a girlfriend or a wife?" Jodi asked.

"I've been married four times as a matter of fact to an ex as wonderful as the last. As you can see though I'm not the best looking guy around. Women don't generally throw themselves at me. I haven't had a girlfriend since my last wife."

Jodi did her best not to blanch. Four times was a little excessive, but now was not the time to pry. She simply nodded, then moved in to comment on his last statement.

"Well I'll humor _you_. I've been throwing myself at you all day so at least you've got something to brag about now." Jodi smiled. John glanced at her then sighed.

"Is there something you want Jodi? I told you I can't give you information on the case, and a cop's salary doesn't pay as much as you'd think. If you need something you can just ask."

With each word Jodi's blood warmed until she could feel the frown on her face. Narrowing her eyes in disbelief she shook her head. Did he really think she was just some sort of manipulative gold-digger? The thought both hurt and infuriated her, so much that she slammed down her glass and spun around to face him head on-noting that he at least had the nerve to look a bit sheepish.

"Do you really think that's all I am? A gold-digging whore?" she hissed angrily, not giving a damn.

"That's not what I said." He threw his hands up.

"But it's what you think. Here I am making a fool out of myself under the impression that you actually saw me more than just a stripper. I'm sorry I wasted my time now, and quite frankly I don't need your or anyone else's money." She said, then threw back her drink miserably and stood up. As she turned John reached out and clasped a hand around Jodi's wrist and she looked down.

"Look I'm sorry, you just have to understand where I'm coming from. I mean, look at you! You're young, you're sexy, and you're going after a guy like me? How could I not be suspicious?"

Jodi bit her lip then sat back down.

"How could you not see what you have to offer? You're an attractive man John. And you're smart, you're kind, you're funny. You make me feel at ease to be honest. Not many people can do that. I don't come across men like you and I figured that it would be nice to spend some time with you. Just because your ex-wives didn't see how incredible you are doesn't mean no one else does." Jodi shook her head, suddenly feeling slightly sympathetic. He sincerely thought he had nothing to offer, and the fact was while many women may have passed him up, she was not in that pool.

John simply stared at her for a bit as though unsure how to take what she had just said. Finally, he reached out and stroked the back of her hand lightly, before looking into Jodi's eyes.

"No one's ever really said anything like that to me. Thanks Jodi." He mused.

"I meant every word of it." Jodi shrugged, then stood up and moved close to him, before slowly giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth then sitting back before he could deny her. Taking another sip from her drink, she listened as he cleared his throat, reaching back and scratching his neck awkwardly before Jodi turned to make conversation.

"How exactly do you get used to seeing this every day?" she finally said with a frown. The pictures she had seen the previous day had stuck with her and she now wished she had never agreed to the task.

"You get used to it. Well, you have to, otherwise you end up eating your gun. I've been through three partners. It's a lot to handle, but someone's gotta do it." He shrugged, and Jodi bit her lip, glancing down. Next to her, she could feel Detective Munch's eyes boring into her before he reached out and grasped her hand again, this time clutching it tightly.

"You've been through way too much for any normal person this week. You know you can call me whenever you need something right? Day, night, anytime?" he said.

Jodi glanced at him. It would appear his presumption of what exactly she was after had been erased by her angry statement, and now she could not help but squeeze his hand and feel her heart pound giddily like a middle-school kid with a crush.

Nodding, she smiled slightly then took a deep breath, exhaling sharply and standing up to make her move. Stepping closely, she stood between John's open legs and put one hand on his thigh, another on his chest.

"What are you doing?" he breathed, but she put her index finger on his bottom lip, shushing him for a moment then leaning in and kissing him ever so softly. Beneath her, John did nothing and Jodi continued, putting a hand on his face then kissing him once more, this time a bit more aggressively.

And much to her surprise and delight after several long moments he kissed her back. Tentatively at first, then more pronounced. Taking it as a cue Jodi brushed her tongue against John's lips, silently begging entrance and he opened his mouth for her, allowing her to taste him while the hand on his thigh traveled further upward.

John laced another hand around Jodi's waist, pulling her closer and she took it, placing it upon one of her breasts. It remained there, and he squeezed softly causing Jodi to moan into his mouth as their tongues clashed.

Each time they came up for air she silently dared herself to pull off her clothes and let him take her then and there. But she did not, and their make-out session remained just that with the addition of heavy groping that surprised Jodi.

The moment John's hands landed on her ass she chucked silently. She had spent the entire time trying to seduce him, but it seemed as though he was just as eager—if not more—than she was. As he found her backside he gave her another squeeze that forced Jodi's hand down only to find that he was slightly hard beneath his pants.

"Woah!" John muttered into mouth and Jodi bit her lip and grinned, then moved to his neck and down, kissing his chest, stomach, and then finally, she let her flips move over the bulge in his pants. John immediately tensed, making a move to stand up but Jodi put her hands on his thighs and looked at him from where she crouched, the reached for his zipper. She was going to give him something to remember.

And just as she undid his fly the irritatingly familiar sounds of John's phone tore him from her. Standing up he dug his phone and grabbed his phone, and hand lingering over his crotch and flipped it open then turned away from Jodi leaving her crouched on the floor. Standing up, she walked over and leaned against him so that her breasts rubbed against his back, and he reached back to place a hand on her side.

Putting her hands on his shoulders she rubbed his chest then bent down to kiss his neck as he spoke, blood flowing to her lower body. John finally hung up his phone before turning around. Jodi made for his lips but he put a hand up, stopping her and pushing her back before standing up and zipping his pants, then straightening his clothes.

"That was Olivia. D.C. SVU picked up two more bodies, one with fluids. Condom must have broken which means we might be able to catch our guy."

Many things went through Jodi's mind in that moment. She was relieved they might be finding him. She was weary that once again, someone was dead. She was also caught off guard by the fact that she had John had just made out for a good 15 minutes, and that she had been preparing to give him a blowjob before they were interrupted.

"You know, when we catch this guy you and I…" he raised his eyebrows and Jodi smiled. Well that sounded a bit better. Indeed, the thought of finally being able to have sex with him without having to worry about him losing his job or a conflict of interest.

"Wow. I never thought about it that way…" Jodi trailed off then looked down. Suddenly, she was very sleepy.

"I'm going to head up to bed. You want to join me?" she asked, and John stood hesitantly before nodding the slightest bit.

They went up to her bedroom and Jodi retreated into her closet, changes into sleepwear. When she returned, she was clad in a leopard-print teddy with a thong underneath. She noted John's obvious mixture of both discomfort and arousal and smiled, before crawling into the bed and resting on her side.

Just like the night before he took off his shoes and jacket then got in beside her, this time beneath the covers and this time closer than before. The two stared facing each other then he leaned in and kissed Jodi, letting his hand move between her thighs much to her surprise.

She breathed heavily as his fingers found their way into her panties. The moment he brushed against her sensitive skin Jodi inhaled sharply, then spread her legs further and moved her bottom half so that she rubbed against him. Leaning in, she placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him, her tongue venturing into his mouth once more while he brushed her clitoris with his fingers.

Pleasure exploded through her body and she moaned into him. Jodi turned her head, closing her eyes and opened her legs wider, urging John to enter her with his fingers. He did so, pushing his index and middle fingers in and out of her. With each small thrust Jodi groaned and tilted her hips, letting him penetrate her further.

She was wet and throbbing, and wanted nothing more than to continue what she had begun earlier. Reaching down Jodi grasped John through his pants and he grunted, brown eyes looking into her own. Grasping at his zipper she yanked it down the sat up, moving away and crawling down to his lap and bending over.

She grasped his member, pulling it out from beneath his underwear and listened to him moan beneath her. Diving down, Jodi clutched John tightly then covered him with her mouth, allowing him deep into her throat and feeling each inch of him against her.

* * *

Olivia watched as Munch bounded into the quad room looking happier than she had even seen him before. He beamed eagerly, bouncing with each step then sat down on his desk with the expression of a man who had a very good night. The problem was that he had been at Jodi Stanford's all night, leading Olivia to wonder exactly what the hell was going on between the two of them (if anything).

Grabbing a cup of coffee he began to whistle as he flipped through paperwork, moving his shoulders up and down before looking at something and chuckling under his breath. Something had definitely gotten to Munch last night.

More like Munch had gotten into something.

Leaning over she sat on Elliot's desk, never taking her eyes of her co-worker who seemed like a completely different man.

"Hey El, you think something is going on between Jodi Stanford and Munch?" she asked.

Elliot threw back his head and laughed in hearty disbelief then looked up at Olivia, the smile wide on his face.

"You're joking right? _Jodi_ and _Munch_? That's wrong on so many levels." Elliot chuckled, shoulders shaking.

"Elliot look at him, the guy is whistling and beaming." Olivia nodded, and Elliot glanced up. As he watched John he raised his eyebrows then chuckled again, shaking his head.

"Well he's certainly happy. But he's smarter than that Liv. And for them to have had sex you'd have to be implying that Jodi Stanford would actually be attracted to him."

Olivia wacked Elliot on the shoulder with a folder playfully.

"What are you saying, Munch isn't attractive?"

"No. But would you sleep with him?"

"Touché." Olivia replied, then glanced over at Munch one last time. Sitting down at her desk she took a sip from her lukewarm coffee, glancing back at Munch every so often. The extra pep in his step spoke louder than words, and Olivia knew something was up. It wasn't until later that she realized Elliot seemed to take an interest too, eyes darting over his work to Munch.

Perhaps she was imagining things, but she knew for certain that she couldn't be.

* * *

John stared as Jodi dove into her hot dog, bundled up in a cherry red pea coat with a black scarf and matching hat over her red hair. Taking a bite she glanced at him with her green eyes then turned around, beginning their walk through the park.

John shoved his hands in his pockets and walked behind her, enjoying a gyro. Each time he gazed at her, his thoughts went back to the previous night and he was caught in a mixture of incomprehensible happiness and disbelief.

He still could not say what had made him do it. When he crawled into bed with her, John had nothing in mind but sleeping peacefully beside he had before. But this time he found himself unable to keep from putting his hands on her. And one thing led to another, and before he knew it he had his hands down her panties and was fingering her like a teenager in the backseat at the drive-in.

He would have been content to continue playing with her, but before he knew it she had unzipped his pants and given him the blowjob of a lifetime.

John couldn't get it out of his mind, the way it felt inside of her. The way she grew wet around him and moaned in his ear. It was the sexiest thing he had even seen or heard, but when she took him down her throat, deeper than he had ever been inside a woman's mouth before he was sure he would lose himself within a matter of minutes.

He held himself until he was shaking, and when he came he shot himself down her throat. And Jodi swallowed every last drop, letting her tongue run up and down his shaft then sucked on his balls before coming up to lay beside him. His only regret was that he had not experienced making her come. He could only imagine how it would feel to have her tense around him.

Already John felt more sexually adventurous than he had ever before. He wanted to do things to Jodi that he had never dreamed of, things that were considered illegal in his religion. Most of all he wanted to make love to her and hear her say his name.

As she walked in front of him John's eyes flew to her ass, thinking of how it felt. Even more her incredible breasts which he had squeezed in his hands. The sooner this case was over, the better. Then he could finally take her for all she was worth.

Now knowing that he could trust her made a world of difference. The truth was she could have been an extremely good liar but she he believed her when she said that she wasn't after his money and that she really liked him. John Munch didn't trust women, but Jodi got under his skin in a way no girl ever had.

Suddenly, he wondered if he would be able to stack up in bed. This was a girl who had been with many men in her time, and John couldn't help but wonder what she would think of him. The truth was, he was a lousy lover. Pretty much every woman he had been with let him know. And here was this experienced girl who would probably expect so much out of him and get so little. He didn't know what to do.

As they walked through the park he pondered his options. The truth was he had only eaten a woman out once. One-night stands were occasional but not often enough for John to build up his rapport. Now he was as worried as the day he had lost his virginity. Would Jodi simply decide afterward that she was no longer interested and move on to the next? He didn't like to think so.

He needed to do something, no matter how embarrassing the situation was. It would be more embarrassing come time he found himself naked beside her in bed. Silently, he resolved on a plan to ask an old friend then walked up beside her as they made their way to the duck pond.

* * *

Elliot stood awkwardly in the foyer of Jodi's home, preparing for the ever-pleasant Jodi-watching duty. In fact, he had yet to spend much time with her and everyone said she usually just did her own thing but still the thought of looking after a young girl wasn't exactly what he wanted to be doing at this point and time.

In truth he had volunteered for the shift. As of late he and Kathy had been fighting more than they had when the separated and Elliot wasn't quite sure how to deal. It was always the same, Kathy complaining that Elliot wasn't there enough to help with the baby, meanwhile he was forced to spend his time in the company of some of the most disgusting excuses for human beings to roam the planet.

The way he saw it, getting back together very may well have made their relationship worse.

Voice caught his attention and Elliot turned to watch Jodi and Munch emerge down the staircase, laughing about something. As they did, Elliot studied their body language. Indeed, there was certainly sexual chemistry between the two of them. Elliot had never seen Munch so at ease and Jodi was walking with her chest and her ass sticking out as if she was begging for attention.

It still didn't make sense. Why would a girl like Jodi go after a guy like Munch? He was old enough to be her grandfather! Perhaps she thought maybe he had money or something. After all, if anything her relationship with Caleb Frank signified that the girl liked money.

Munch had to be smart enough to resist her charms. After all, she was an active case and a stripper. While it was nice to see a girl throwing herself all over him it would be foolish for Munch to even suggest going after her. Especially if he wanted to keep his job.

As they walked down the stairs both looked at him and Elliot gave a small wave, making eye contact with his co-worked to suggest that he knew there was something going on between the two of them. Munch stared back then straightened his jacket as they hit the base of the stairs.

"How goes it Elliot?" he asked and Elliot was tempted to say something along the lines of whatever the hell was going on between them. For one of the first times in his life he held his tongue however, and simply shrugged.

"You know, same old same old. Evening Jodi." He addressed the girl and she gave him a playful smirk.

She was clad in what appeared to be a leotard and a pair of shorts. In her hands were a pair of pale pink ballet shoes, and athletic tape covered her feet in various spots. Someone had mentioned something about her being a dancer but Elliot didn't know she did anything besides stripping.

He stepped aside as Jodi opened the door and followed Munch out, leaving it cracked. As he stood in the foyer he strained his ears to make out what they were saying.

"…it again sometime but I'm not completely certain I'd stop at deep-throating you."

Elliot took a step back, shaking his head. He really didn't want to hear anymore, and didn't want to think about what he had. It seemed that Olivia had been right. Not that he wanted to let her know that.

After about two minutes Jodi slipped back in and closed the door. She looked at Elliot and he glanced away, feeling more than a tad bit uncomfortable in her presence knowing what she had done with Munch.

"You want some pizza or something? I have some left over that Jo-Detective Munch and I ordered about an hour ago. I'd hate to have to throw it away. It's pepperoni, is that okay?"

"Um, sure." Elliot shrugged, not having had lunch. He followed her into her kitchen where sure enough, a box of pizza with three remaining slices sat on her kitchen counter. She had the kind of kitchen that women like Kathy fantasized about, an ultra-modern and industrialized commodity with more appliances than he could count.

"It's still a little warm, but I can heat it up for you."

"This should be find, thanks." Elliot nodded, then grabbed one of the big slices, salivating as cheese came off. Folding it over he lifted it to his mouth and took a grateful bite then grabbed the box and sat down at the island bar. Glancing up he looked at the pots and pans hanging then returned to his pizza, letting the sauce and cheese mix in his mouth.

"Want some soda or something?"

"No this is good. Listen Jodi, you and Detective Munch are getting a little close. I just thought you should know you're walking a tight rope. He's handling your case and the minute it gets out that the two of you have something going on then you're going to be facing some problems in court." Elliot heard himself saying.

"I don't know what you're talking about Detective Stabler, but I can assure you that there is nothing going on between Detective Munch and I. I trust him, he's nice to me, and that's the end of it. If you need anything, I'm going to be practicing." She lifted the shoes then headed for the door. Before Elliot could beckon her back she spun around and walked over once more.

"I heard that you found semen on your last victim. Did you…" she trailed off, and for the first time Elliot found himself slightly sympathetic. Amidst all the shit with Munch he had all but forgotten the real reason he was there. She had been raped, and was currently being stalked and threatened with her life.

"Well between you and me test came back for some Joe. The girl was a prostitute, I'm sorry to tell you. D.C. SVU talked to the guy, they don't think he's your rapist. The time of death didn't sync up with his alibi, he was just an unlucky guy who made the very poor choice of shacking up with a hooker."

"What happened to him?" Jodi asked.

"Well unfortunately D.C. SVU isn't quite a lenient as we are. He got taken in and charged, but I can assure you he's not your rapist. This doesn't leave this kitchen, I shouldn't have even told you that."

Jodi nodded, then attempted to smile, sadness written all over her face.

"Thanks Detective Stabler. I'll be down the hall if you need me." She finally said then turned around and padded barefoot from the kitchen leaving Elliot to his pizza.

* * *

Jodi laced up her worn pointe shoes then stood up. For the very first time she felt more relaxed than she had in quite some time, and she attributed it to none other than John Munch and what had happened last night.

Looking around the room she flicked on the light switch and gazed at herself in one of the many mirrors. Walking to the barr, she began to stretch and could not stop thinking about what had happened the previous night.

She hadn't been expecting it, and according to John neither had he. Nevertheless, she couldn't have been happier that it happened. The man certainly knew how to work his fingers, and she wondered what else he could do.

There was something so enticing about it all—mainly the fact that it was forbidden. She knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong. And that made it all the more exciting.

Jodi couldn't help but wonder how exactly the other detectives knew though. It wasn't that she had a problem if John bragged about it, but it wouldn't make much sense seeing as to how his own job on the line. It didn't make much sense, she only hoped that he would not get into too much trouble over it.

After doing her warm-ups Jodi picked up her iPod, flicking through scores of songs before settling on Chopin's _Fantasie Impromptu_. As soon as the first opening notes blared through her wireless speaker she began doing her exercises, and closed her eyes with each movement.

When she had moved to New York her aunt had begun getting her involved in dance, which had undoubtedly been the best thing that had ever happened to her. Whenever she was dancing she finally felt free, she finally felt as though the dangers around her were gone and that she was like some sort of bird.

She only wished she could dance forever, but in a city full of potential dancers and singers, she didn't stand a chance. She needed to be realistic, and sometimes being realistic meant letting go of silly dreams.

With that, she danced as she did every single day, letting the music and pain take her over. She ignored it all, focusing only on the one thing she loved more than anything else, and when she was done, she turned around and jumped only to find Detective Stabler standing in the doorway.

"Jesus Christ you scared me!" she exclaimed, and he raised his hands in the air with a smile.

"I'm sorry, you're a very good dancer." He raised his eyebrows, and Jodi put her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath.

"How long have you been dancing?" Elliot asked.

"Uh, about seven years or so." She replied. "Since I moved to the east coast."

"So, when exactly did stripping become an interest?"

Jodi tried her best not to let his question get to her but she only smiled. All she could think about was giving Detective Stabler a swift kick in the ass.

"I realized I had a nice body, and I shouldn't waste it." She shrugged.

"Well there are other ways to accentuate your body. Go to the beach in a bikini every now and then, show off for your husband. You're wasting a lot of potential."

"Am I? I sing in front of sold-out crowds every night and rake in more money than I probably would be my whole life if I waitressed or something like that. It pays the bills, and I get the chance to do something I like. Is there something so wrong with that?" she crossed her arms.

Detective Stabler put his hands behind his back and shrugged, an arrogant smirk on his face. Luckily, his phone interrupted their impending disaster of an interaction and he walked off, leaving Jodi to ponder just how much she disliked him.


	8. A Night To Remember

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the **_**Law & Order **_**franchise. **

**A Night to Remember**

Jodi wrung her hands in panic, pacing back and forth across her bedroom as she stared at the text message on her phone:

**U forgot ur +1! C u at the gala 2night!  
**

The MoMA Benefit Gala, taking place later that night which Jodi had completely forgotten about.

Perhaps she should have been grateful. The panic that had set in due to her potential absence from this important event had distracted her from bigger problems, but it still was enough to make her just about throw herself out of the window.

Because of her popularity Jodi's presence was required at benefit events. These attendances, coupled with the pleasing of wealthy men helped pad Caleb's pockets, and that money in turn went into keeping the club the biggest thing around.

And here she was. 12 hours before the ball without a date, dress, or hope of going. Caleb had given her money for the dress ages ago but she had gotten so caught up in the case she completely forgot. Perhaps she could get something in time, but there was still the problem of coming up with a date.

Most of the men who came to the club were married. Caleb wasn't an option, and even if he was asking him now would be an open admittance to the fact that she had forgotten. No one she could possibly think of would be able to escort her. The only possible name that flitted through her mind was…

John Munch.

Freezing she stood in the center of the room, reaching forward and grabbing her phone off the bed. It was a long shot, but it was better than nothing. Dialing him quickly she prayed that he would answer and tapped her foot impatiently for four rings before he picked up.

"Munch."

"John! It's me, Jodi! Listen, I know this is really sudden but it's a little bit of a personal emergency for me. I know you were supposed to come over tonight, is there any way you could escort me to this gala at the MoMA? There's no way I can miss it I have to get to events like these for the club and I don't know anybody else I could ask!"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line and for a moment, Jodi was afraid that John had hung up on her before finally, he responded sounding somewhat distant.

"Of course." He answered.

Jodi had to stop herself from squealing and jumping around the room. She thanked John and infinite amount of times then hung up, before starting on calls to find a dress.

* * *

Munch looked down at his phone, glancing at the hour for what seemed like the millionth time as he waited for Jodi to meet him. He felt like a nervous kid back at prom all over again who had been waiting a half hour since she had told him to be ready.

Shoving his pockets into his rented tux he sighed. The limo had arrived 20 minutes ago and when he peered through the curtains of Jodi's living room Munch could see its driver smoking a cigarette and leaning against the car impatiently. It was just like any woman to hold up everyone else and as much as John liked Jodi he couldn't help but feel irritated at her tardiness.

He knew there was no place he'd rather be though. The simple fact of the matter was that an event like this would be the perfect place for her attacker. He could be anyone, lurking in the crowd and a suit would be too obvious. So, John Munch had gone and rented a tux, he threw on his best cologne, combed back his hair and took himself over to Jodi's despite the fact that he silently thought the entire thing was stupid.

It was a benefit for something or other that didn't really help people. Something for the rich in the city who sat on their botox-ed asses all day and sipped martinis, occasionally throwing bills towards the "lesser-fortunate" and living off money that had been in their families for decades. And now Munch found himself in the company of one.

He supposed he could live with himself, owing to the fact that Jodi was a self-made woman. Sure she earned her money by shedding her skin on stage but she made it herself nevertheless. John didn't know much about her family but after her admission that her father had been imprisoned he had done some digging. The record was sealed, but from what small details he could get he discovered that it was for the attempted murder of a boy around 20.

He was looking at life in prison without parole. It seemed that Jodi's mother had died before her rape, and she had a brother in the picture but John could find nothing on him. She came from one of the broken families he knew so well, and she made a substantial living just by being beautiful.

In truth, a small part of him resented her for it. The fact that she walked on stage, sang a little song and raked in money by the thousands each night. There was no way in hell he could do that. It just showed the way the world worked, harping on beauty while the rest went on and had to work for their meals.

At least she had a voice to show for it though. When John first heard her he spent more time on her body than really listening, but she had a nice voice. And it seemed she was quite talented when it came to dance, and she had mentioned something about piano along the line. She had graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA, had taken AP classes, and was doing exceptionally well at NYU. She was smart, talented, and all around perfect it seemed, despite her obvious flaws.

Glancing down at the time again John sighed, when a sound drew his attention. Glancing up, he forgot just how annoyed he was when Jodi came into view.

She was clad in a short black number of lace and feathers. It stopped about mid-thigh with a skirt made of feathers. The bodice was lace and Jodi wore a black tube-top beneath it. From there it extended to lace sleeves. Clad in black strappy heels she smiled, in full makeup which changed her appearance drastically. Gone were the dark circles replaced with a sultry glamor queen years beyond her age.

"Well you clean up nice." She smiled, through ruby red lips and John inhaled at her compliment. Stepping down before him her white teeth gleamed and her green eyes shined beneath dark eye makeup.

"So do you. This isn't exactly what the kids wore when I was your age." John raised his eyebrows. It was a wild ensemble, nevertheless Jodi looked both stunning and beyond sexy.

"And when was that? The 1800s?" she arched an eyebrow and grinned, jabbing at him playfully. He liked that she bantered with him, showing she was comfortable enough with the age gap to throw jokes around.

"How kind of you to think me so young. Try the Stone Ages." John joked and Jodi shook her head.

"We'd better get to the limo, we're already running late. Come on, let's have a nice chat." Jodi winked, and reached out to grab John's hand. He took it, relishing in her warmth as they walked to the door.

"You're not taking a coat? It's going to drop to 38." John said, suddenly feeling like an overbearing parent. Jodi glanced back at him with a sly wink then leaned against the door, bending her leg like a pageant contest.

"Would you like to see me cover this up?" Jodi said, then opened the door. John didn't dare answer, following her out and waited as the locked it. They walked to the limo where the drive quickly tossed aside his cigarette, waving the air around him with the expression of a man who clearly was not supposed to be smoking.

Rushing over he opened the door, and John gestured for Jodi to get inside before following suit. The minute the heat surrounded them John sighed and leaned back against the leather seat. This was how the other half lived.

Jodi grabbed a bottle of champagne from a nearby ice bucket and turned it away, working on the cork.

"Naturally, opening a bottle of alcohol with a cop present." John muttered sarcastically and Jodi looked at him before popping the cork. Bringing the bottle to her lips she took a swig then sidled over beside him, crossing her long legs.

"I won't tell if you don't." she shrugged, offering him the bottle. Feeling like a kid again he took it, then smiled as she sighed and wrapped her arms around his own, leaning against him.

"Our first date. How romantic." She grinned.

"This is a date?" John replied, feeling slightly giddy at the notion. He hadn't thought about it that way but sure enough they were going somewhere together.

"You know, I've always been a first-date kind of girl. Going all the way helps me know whether I want a second." Jodi winked playfully and John found himself momentarily paralyzed by her statement. Her tone suggested amusement but he knew at the same time that she had to be somewhat serious. Quickly he tried to cover his throat and recover then shook his head.

"People still use 'going all the way'?" he managed, failing to come up with a witty retort and Jodi shrugged, taking the bottle of champagne from his hands.

"I'm not most people, you should know that by now. I really can't get over you in a tux. I just about what to rip it off of you God you look sexy." Jodi breathed, this time completely serious and John looked down at her, his eyes zoning I on her red lips.

Within a matter of seconds his mouth was attached to hers and he put a hand on the back of her neck. Her curly hair was straightened and pinned up. Pulling her closer, he opened his mouth as her tongue rubbed against his lips and inhaled her scent which was more prominent than ever. Amber. Hot sensual amber.

Putting her arms around him Jodi pulled John down onto the seat, laying on her back and lifting her lean legs. Grabbing one and placing it over her shoulder John's eyes caught sight of a small tattoo on her inner thigh, a purple and orange butterfly.

"What's this?" he whispered, pressing his thumb to the tiny image and Jodi bit her lip and inhaled sharply. Glancing down, he could see her through sheer panties and swallowed. She was bare and waiting. All he had to do was pull those panties down and he would be able to feel what he had inside of her again.

"Touch me again." Jodi sighed, her face turning as red as her hair and John let his hand slide into her panties, entering her and feeling her grow wet. She moaned in response, then sat up and kissed John harder, whispering in his ear.

"I've been thinking about you and I can't wait to feel your cock inside me."

His ears pricked at the word _"cock"_. It was dirty, it was vile, and it was a term that he generally would never use unless extremely angry in an offensive manner. Hearing it from anyone else would be like watching a bad porno, but from Jodi's lips it made John shudder and nearly drove him insane.

He agreed silently. He wanted to be inside of her, pushing hard and deep between the walls that enveloped his fingers. He wanted to make her moan his name over and over again, and he wanted to feel her come around him. Just the thought hardened him, and as his pants tightened he pushed Jodi back slightly, afraid of getting himself into trouble.

"Don't want to do something I shouldn't." John sighed, looking away from Jodi as he noted her obvious disappointment and slight hurt. She frowned, green eyes looking down as though afraid it was her fault and suddenly he wished that he could hold her. He was picking up on cues that made it seem as though she was very insecure despite her looks and talent, and he had yet to understand why. It could certainly explain her sexual behavior though.

"I still don't know what's wrong with you or how the hell I got so lucky. Girls like you only go after guys like me in dreams." John poked at her honestly, attempting to make her feel better if she could. Looking up, she shook her head then licked her red lips. In earnest he still had yet to understand what the hell she saw in him.

"You don't know just how much you have going for you. There's been very few men in my life who I've ever felt this way about." She shrugged.

"You feel a certain way about me?" John replied, replaying her words and she nodded, face reddening slightly.

"I told you, I like you. I like being around you. You make me feel…safe, at ease." She responded and John had to stop himself from standing through the sunroof of the limo and screaming out at the city from the top of his lungs. Just hearing her say it was enough to make him giddier than a kid on Christmas morning.

Putting a hand on the back of her neck Jodi rubbed, then winced in pain. Looking at her, John stared in concern. It was evident she was in some kind of discomfort.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah my neck and back are just really tight. You wouldn't happen to be good at giving massages would you?" Jodi asked, and John hesitated for a moment.

"Well, I suppose you got lucky the doctor is in." he finally responded then rubbed his hands together. Jodi smiled sweetly and spun around, her back to John and he put his hands on her shoulders, kneading the skin beneath her lace dress as gently as he could.

Every so often his hands would work their way to her shoulders and he'd glance over at her breasts, wondering what she would do if he reached down and cupped them in his hands. Well, he knew what she would do and that was the problem. She would more than likely respond in kind landing John in a position that he could not refuse.

They chatted the way there, flirting back and forth and having serious moments. Finally, they arrived at a packed MoMA and as John stepped out of the car he couldn't help but look around at the other older men with young trinkets on their arms. How many of them had paid? How many of these women were truly with them for anything besides money?

The scene was pandemonium. All around voices cried out, people talked and hugged and flashbulbs went off like crazy. It was like they were at some sort of crazy Hollywood premiere, and Jodi put an arm around John's waist, letting him know that even through the chaos he was hers and she wanted to be on his arm. Lacing a lanky arm around her own waist he pulled her close and they began towards the glass-front building, dodging other guests and cameras.

"There you are! I've been looking for you all over you're late!" a voice called, and John watched as a middle-aged man walked over with none other than the blonde he had seen at the club the night he went to talk to Jodi on his arm. She regarded Jodi with a noticeable coolness and John's eyes immediately zoomed to her barely-there breasts, almost exposed in an extremely deep V-neck dress. Her blonde hair swung down past her slim shoulders and she clung onto her date, looking down at Jodi with the attitude of a woman who clearly did not want to be there.

"Hi sweetie, sorry I was late." Jodi said, walking to the man and kissing him on the cheek. As she did so John noted both the blonde's face as she rolled her eyes and the fact that she had just referred to him as 'sweetie'. He wasn't sure how to feel about it except not very comfortable, and wondered if she was sleeping with the guy.

"It's alright, you've got a little ass-kissing to do to a couple shareholders though. And who's this?" the man nodded towards John.

Jodi walked back and grasped his arm once more and he placed his own around her waist protectively to remind both her and anyone else that she was there as _his _date, and no one else's.

"Caleb this is John Munch. John, this is Caleb Frank. He's a good friend." Jodi placed a hand on his chest.

Frank nodded, extending a hand and John shook it, squeezing as hard as he could. So this was the infamous Caleb Frank. He noted how Jodi had left out boss and ex-boyfriend, and he quickly studied the man who he immediately felt hostile towards. He was good looking, with an air of evident cockiness as he stood in his expensive tuxedo and glanced at Jodi as though the two had been best friends all their lives.

"Nice to meet you John. See you've snagged Jodi here, what do you do?" Caleb asked.

"Detective. Special Victims." John replied firmly and watched as Frank's face turned sour. He glanced at Jodi quickly and ran a hand through his short hair.

"What they've got a bodyguard on you now? They can't stop other girls from getting raped but they can come into my home and accuse me of raping you. That's how it works right?" Frank nodded at John and he opened his mouth to respond but Jodi stepped in front of him.

"Relax Caleb. John's here as my guest. We're dating." She shrugged, and John looked down at her sharply forgetting the reply he had been forming for Frank.

The latter's eyebrows went up in evident surprise and he shrugged.

"Well, you know what's best I guess." Caleb said in an insulting tone and John watched Jodi's face color.

"For a guy who calls himself Jodi's best friend you sure as hell have a funny way of showing it. What exactly were you doing when she was outside getting raped?" John snapped, and Frank's eyes widened. His blonde clutched onto him and Jodi spun around gazing up at John in disbelief. Throwing her hands up she pushed Frank back as he walked upon John swiftly, his face colored with expected confrontation. John really hoped he would so he could arrest the guy and send him walking in front of all his snobby friends.

"Guys stop, Caleb he didn't mean that remember where we are. Why don't you just take a moment to calm down, okay? Lindsay why don't you and Caleb go have a drink somewhere? I'll go talk to the shareholders." Jodi said calmly, and the blonde glared at Jodi at being told what to do but spun on her heel and stalked off with Frank in tow, leaving John and Jodi behind.

"You dated that clown?" John muttered as they walked away and Jodi spun around, crossing her arms over her chest clearly pissed. Arched eyebrows narrow her green eyes swam with fury and she clenched her jaw dangerously.

"Caleb treated me better than any man ever has, and I don't appreciate you going after him like that. He's pissed as hell and he has a right to be, but I'm not talking about this anymore. Come on, let's go." Jodi said darkly then took John's arm despite her anger and the two made their way towards the building.

Every so often John would look at her. She made small conversation but it was clear she was still angry, and he knew it was all his fault. He made certain not to mention anything on the subject again and as they stepped inside her anger seemed to melt away (for the time being)/

"Jodi Stanford!" a shrill voice with a slight accent called out and Jodi stopped, grabbing a martini from the tray of a cocktail server and spinning around. John turned down the drink, never having had a taste for the pretentious beverage and eyed her glass wondering if he should allow her to consume in public. The place wasn't even carding, although it was clear Jodi could pass for well over 21. Either way, it was one thing to drink in her home where no one else knew but it was another in public where people would know he was a cop. He could lose his job.

"Ahna, hello it's wonderful to see you." Jodi replied in kind as a middle-aged woman with shoulder-length blonde hair strode over, clad in a red pantsuit. She and Jodi kissed on both cheeks like some sort of socialites and grabbed each other, faces colored with excitement that was far too pronounced to be real.

"Wonderful to see you too dear. Beautiful gown, who is it?" the woman named Ahna asked.

"Dior, and thank you. McQueen?" Jodi raised her eyebrow.

"Only you can tell." The woman grinned, and John stood completely lost in translation. Reaching over Jodi laced an arm around John's waist and clutched him tightly before flashing that stunning smile to her friend.

"Ahna, this is my boyfriend John Munch. John, this is Ahna. She works for _Cosmo_. John here is a detective for the Special Victims Unit."

John immediately froze and colored at the term. _Boyfriend_? Is that what he was to her? They had never quite established the status of their relationship, partly due to the fact that she was an open case. He was certainly flattered by her quickness to refer to him as such.

"'Boyfriend'? Well we're certainly out of the 18-21 age range aren't we dear? Well, it's wonderful to meet you Detective. Special Victims must be a tough job."

It was difficult for John to get through her frosty tone enough to translate whether the statement had been one of disapproval. After all, she was on the arm of a man who looked about half her own age, and as she arched a penciled-eyebrow John wondered how Jodi possibly could have ever come across such a woman.

"It is but someone has to do it. And you're profession would be…?" John trailed off.

"Director. I own a little art spot downtown, featuring modern artists whose potential is just aspiring. Congratulations on our girl Jodi here, she's a hell of a girl you're in for quite a ride. Now, forgive me but we must be going. It's wonderful to see you again Jodi, give me a call dear let's catch up again for portraits, you were a hit at the studio." Ahna winked, then the two women loosely embraced one another before the woman walked away, leaving John to glance down at the redhead on his arm.

"Portraits?" he asked, and Jodi bit her lip, looking slightly bashful.

"I posed for one of Ahna's artists a couple months back. The paintings sold pretty well although…" Jodi trailed off, giving a painful grin.

"Although what?" John prompted her.

"Well, let's just say…sex sells."

"Wait, what were they paintings of?" he demanded, uncertain if he wanted to know the answer.

"Extreme close ups of body parts. You could barely tell what they were unless you really knew. I only did it because the girl who did them paid pretty well. You're not upset about it are you?" Jodi suddenly asked, worry written all over her youthful face and John squeezed his lips together tightly, unsure what to say.

It wasn't easy to dismiss the statement anymore. Not in an age where women ran off with other women every day. There was of course the fact that meant her body was in the homes of snobby blue-bloods all over the city, and who knew where else. The body that he had yet to fully conquer and take advantage of. Yes, it did upset him, although there was no way John would say it, for the thought perpetuated his fears that Jodi would realize the age difference between them was too great and change her mind.

"No that's just…not something I expected to here." John replied stiffly, and Jodi grabbed him. Quickly changing the subject, he felt his stomach churn like a kid in middle school as he spoke.

"So, boyfriend? A little premature don't you think?" he looked at Jodi playfully over his glasses.

Much to his relief she smiled, placing a hand on his chest.

"It's easier than explaining…whatever the hell we're doing. Couldn't exactly call us fuck-buddies right? I suppose that would be ever so slightly unethical." She joked.

"Especially when I'm working on your case."

"Especially when we're not yet actually fucking." Jodi shot back, then glanced at a group of middle-aged men in tuxedos, all talking to one another loudly. Turning to John, she ran a hand through her hair and glanced back at him.

"Few of the shareholders. How do I look?" she asked nervously.

"I think you already know the answer to that." John replied, and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Well then…showtime."

* * *

John glanced at Jodi's profile for the millionth time as the limousine neared her Sutton Place townhouse. The entire ride back from the museum she had remained strangely silent, making very little conversation and staring out the window, worrying John to think perhaps he had done something wrong.

After a few hours of wining and dining with some of the most despicable people in the city (some of which Jodi associated with), Jodi suggested they leave. After saying their goodbyes, and a brief tense moment with Caleb Frank, the two departed and Jodi sank into a strange bout of reclusiveness.

John made no move to ask what was wrong. Everything was one hundred percent fine until they got into the limo. He could think of nothing that could change her mood so significantly, except letting the chauffeur open the door for her, although she didn't seem that petty.

Well, that and the whole rape thing.

As the vehicle came to a stop, Jodi got out before the door was even opened and shouted a thanks to the driver, walking up the steps and unlocking the door leaving John to shake hands awkwardly as he watched her to make certain her rapist would not jump out of the shadows. Racing up the steps after she had disappeared from view, John stepped over the threshold only to be pushed violently against the door by Jodi, slamming it with his body as she put her hands on his face and pressed her lips to his own intensely.

"I've been thinking about you all tonight. Fuck me tonight John." She breathed as she broke away from his mouth, taking a step back and unzipping her dress. John simply watched in surprise and shock, replaying her words over in his head as she shed her dress, revealing a racy ensemble underneath, but before he could even protest properly Jodi began to remove her underthings as well until she was clad in nothing but a pair of thigh-high-stockings and her shoes.

"Jodi…" John trailed off, unable to take his eyes off of her. His mind froze, like an overloaded computer and he gazed at her completely naked right before him for the first time. How amazing her body looked beneath the light, how buttery smooth her skin seemed. But more, the way her nipples hardened beneath his gaze as she stood with her arms around her body consciously, as though preparing for his rejection.

Rejection that would not come. John prepared himself for the pink notice that would eventually come because right now, there was no way to say no.

* * *

Jodi grasped John's hand tightly, leading him into her living room daringly as her heart pounded in her chest. With each step, she could feel his eyes raking her in, absorbing her naked body the way she wished for him to do for so long. Finally, she was going to have him.

On the way back from the gala, Jodi could think of nothing but summing up the courage to take John to bed. After running into one of her exes, she found herself unable to rid the thought of laying with John that very night.

The fact of the matter was, Jodi didn't know if the next day was promised. She couldn't keep holding out until the case was solved, not when her rapist was lurking out there, waiting to kill her. Furthermore, the longer they waited, the more likely it was John would wise up and realize he should have nothing to do with a girl like her. Jodi needed to take her opportunity when she could.

It took every part of her shed her clothes, she had planned what she would do very carefully on the ride back home and quite truthfully, she expected John to put up more of an argument than he did. But one of that mattered now, because she had finally captured him and she was going to have him.

As they neared the couch, Jodi grabbed John by the lapel of his jacket then pushed him onto the couch almost aggressively. Leaning down, she fell to her knees and placed her hands on his thighs, speaking with all the earnest desire in the world. Leaning forward, she began to unbutton his jacket then climbed onto his lap and kissed him.

"I can't wait anymore." Jodi whispered, then grabbed one of John's hands and placed it upon one of her breasts. The moment the skin of his palm rubbed against her erect nipple Jodi inhaled sharply, letting out the tiniest of moans then urged John to squeeze her.

He obliged, his wrinkled hands squeezing her gently as he leaned in and kissed her neck. He was soft, gentle, and caring while Jodi moved quickly and aggressively.

As John continued to pay special attention to the skin of her neck, Jodi reached down and rubbed him over his pants, his lips leaving cool air on her flesh. With each kiss, pulses of heat moved through her face and chest, her skin reddening as blood pooled in her nipples and clitoris.

Grabbing John by his tie, Jodi climbed from his lap and lay back on the couch, pulling him down and bringing his lips to her own. Despite the softness he responded with, Jodi could tell he was eager and just as ready as she was. Grasping at his zipper, she fumbled beneath their bodies until John stood up and began to remove his clothing, exposing his thin frame.

As he pulled down his underwear he stood awkwardly, like a 15-year-old during his first time and Jodi grinned, standing up and putting her arms on his shoulders, this time tenderly.

"Don't ever worry about anything when you're with me John." She whispered into his ear, then kissed his cheek gently and fell back onto the couch, awaiting him.

John stood for a moment, caressing her with his eyes and his mouth open. Licking his lips, he brushed himself for a moment, his erection growing then climbed on top of Jodi and buried his lips in the crook between her neck and shoulder, sucking on her skin gently.

Letting her fingers grace his back, she sighed into his lips as they made their way down her body, finding one of her nipples and sucking roughly so that she arched her back, running her fingers through his white hair.

"Suck on my tits again." Jodi moaned, throwing back her head and John did as told, grabbing the other and sucking on her nipple, this time even harder than the other so that Jodi ground her hips into him, trying to alleviate the throbbing between her legs.

Much to her surprise, John snuck a hand between her thighs without warning, slipping two fingers inside of her. Jodi responded with an earnest moan, wanting nothing more than to feel his full member inside of her.

Slowly, John began to pump his hand in and out of her slowly, causing Jodi to spread her legs eagerly. Reaching down and grabbing him as well, she met his mouth once more then whispered as their noses touched.

"I want you John." She breathed, and he let out a mumbled moan, then sat up and put his hands on her inner thighs. Glancing down at his erection, Jodi watched anxiously as he neared her, before sliding into her slowly so that they both let out a frustrated sigh of relief.

"You feel so good." John croaked above her as he began to thrust in and out slowly, each movement clearly restrained as he began to shake on his lanky arms. Jodi placed her hands on his shoulders and angled her hips so that he took her as deeply as possible with each thrust.

Perhaps it was the sexual frustration, perhaps it was her need to erase the memory of the last man who had been inside of her. Whichever or whatever it was, the short five minutes they were together presented Jodi with an incredible orgasm which caused her to cry out at the top of her lungs, just as John joined in their ecstasy.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily and for a moment Jodi was concerned she might have caused the man a heart attack, however he spoke after several seconds, looking up at her through expressive brown eyes that Jodi couldn't help but adore. She was hopelessly smitten, though she was not yet at a point where she could even admit that to herself.

"Well I've just stepped onto the yellow brick road of unemployment." He raised his eyebrows.

"Shut up and cuddle me." Jodi responded.

.


	9. The Morning After

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the _Law & Order _franchise.**

**The Morning After**

John awoke to a face full of red hair, letting him know nothing about the previous night had been a dream. Reaching for his glasses on Jodi's beside dresser, he rubbed his eyes then slipped them on, glancing at Jodi's slumbering frame.

She slept on her side, facing away from John with her red mane spread about like a halo. Feeling her warmth beside him, John savored the feeling of waking up next to a woman for the first time in years. The awkward one-night stands with middle-aged women which held not emotional merit were now a thing of the past, replaced with something a bit more satisfying.

Looking at his phone, John checked for any missed calls then cuddled up beside Jodi once more, feeling her firm backside against him. In truth, all he wanted to do was roll her on her back then plow her again, again, and again. He wanted to bury himself inside of her and do we every which way.

He certainly wasn't going to let Jodi know that though. John felt the same as he did when he first lost his virginity. Shortly thereafter, his girlfriend lost all interest in not only sex, but he himself as well, but he easily recognized those first few days when all he could think of was getting her in bed again.

Beside him, Jodi muttered something in her sleep then slowly sat up, rolling over and looked at John though squinted eyes. Her face was completely free of makeup, something he both appreciated and approved of. So many women buried themselves beneath cosmetics and without it, looked a horrific mess. But Jodi was truly beautiful, with or without the help.

After they had sex the previous night, they had retreated to the bedroom where Jodi dressed herself in yet another set of skimpy lingerie, much to John's relief. It seemed she knew he was still trying to handle the situation, and sleeping naked together probably wouldn't put him in best state of mind (not the wearing lacy clothing helped much).

"Morning." John grinned, and Jodi stared at him, looking around in what seemed confusion then gazed at the clock, burying herself in the sheet and yanking the comforter above her head.

"No talk before 9." She grunted, and John couldn't help but laugh. Climbing out of the bed, he let her sleep and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself for the morning the take a quick shower.

As the warm water cascaded over his body, he couldn't stop himself from replaying the scene from the previous night, over and over again. After days of sexual frustration, they had finally come together like two teenagers trying to get around their parents. And no matter the circumstances, John couldn't say he regretted it.

Being with Jodi was like having sex on some kind of drug. Each movement he made, her body responded to him, as though she was _made_ for him. In all definition of the word it was sexy, and John had never felt anything like it. To finally be inside of her after thinking about it for so long, and being inside of her, that was a completely different matter in its own right.

As John washed himself carefully, he couldn't help but chuckle as he felt himself harden, just by the very thought of Jodi's tight, wet, throbbing passage. The way she took in his member, pressing her body against his own and pleading for him to take her faster and harder.

Reaching down, John involuntarily stroked himself, peering through the glass shower door as he watched Jodi's form through the distorted glass. He could see her tan skin, lean legs bent as she brushed her teeth, his breathe catching with the excitement of his newfound voyeurism.

As John washed himself he continued to watch Jodi, yearning to reach out and touch her. Sliding the door open slowly, he stepped out of the shower carefully, running a hand through his matted white hair nervously, suddenly self-conscious.

"Well good morning." Jodi grinned, turning around to face him in a short silk bathrobe that left very little to the imagination. The thing material clung to her curves like a second skin, allowing John a view of slightly hardened nipples and outlined breasts. So much that John's hands flew to his groin as he felt himself become hard, face reddening with embarrassment like he was 13.

"Excited to see me?" Jodi raised an eyebrow playfully, sauntering towards John slowly. He watched as her eyes glowed fiercely, sparkling emeralds narrowed intently in a seductive gaze.

"You know, last night was wonderful. I was hoping to get a follow up before you went off to work this morning." She pursed her lips, placing her hands on John's wet shoulders and he gave up any hope of controlling his growing erection as she pressed herself against him. Before John knew it, Jodi's lips were on his own and he was unable to deny her, kissing her back as passionately as he dared.

Pulling away she spun around, leaning over the sink and arching her back. Reaching for the knot in her robe, John watched, unable to think as Jodi loosened it and let the silky material glide off her shoulders before falling to the ground in a whispered pile.

Spreading her legs slightly she bent down, swaying back and forth as she offered John every part of her. The way she stood he got a view of just about everything, her tight round ass, along with a beautiful pink pussy nestled between her thighs.

"C'mon." she whispered, turning her head, and John stepped behind her, placing a hand on the small of Jodi's back as he sighed loudly. Her buttery skin against his own may have been one of the best feelings he had ever experienced, and after several moments, letting his hands wander her silky back John gave in, grabbing himself and plunging inside of her.

Jodi let out an astounding moan, arching her back further and bending so that as John began to thrust in and out of her deeply. With each thrust she mewed, pushing back at John. She felt even better than he remembered.

* * *

Jodi chewed on an olive carefully, before swallowing and all but skipping across the bar as she continued to hand-dry glasses. Humming jovially, she wiped a rag around the rim of a highball carefully, making sure to get rid of any streaks the dishwasher missed then placed it on the rack with the others.

"Well you're in a good mood. Just when I thought I'd gotten you to stop with that humming." Said the in-house bartender, Andy who was on his way out after a long night. Jodi shrugged with a grin playfully, then slung the rag over her shoulder, helping him restock the shelves.

"Is it such a crime? It's not my fault you're Mr. Grumpy Pants. You look like you need a good night's sleep." Jodi responded, whipping the stocky brunette man with her towel playfully. He responded with raised eyebrows, the placed a hand under her chin, turning her head.

"What's this?" he asked, brushing one of the hickeys on her neck and Jodi slapped his hand away like a teenager being confronted by a parent.

"I thought you didn't let guys give you hickeys? At least that's what you told me." He raised his eyebrows in reference to a drunken hookup but a few weeks ago. It was a matter of fact, when engaged in meaningless sex, there were certain actions and behaviors Jodi did not allow. A simple bite of the neck, an action most found in lustful teens was one of Jodi's favorite intimate encounters. And here and now, decorated with marks from John's teeth she couldn't be more excited.

He had claimed her, or if anything, she had claimed _him_. Jodi could tell John still questioned her motives, and she guess she couldn't blame him. After all in American society, how often did a younger girl and an older man pursue a relationship without a financial incentive?

Jodi could tell John's low self-confidence stemmed from years of frustration and possibly ridicule. His self-esteem was lower than her own, and she knew it would take time to change that. Even she herself could not understand why she was so attracted to him. Of course, she found him handsome, but he was no James Dean or Marlon Brando.

But there was his personality. Passion, humor, seriousness, all rolled into one. Nothing impressed Jodi more than the way he kissed her, delicately as though trying to restrain himself even when she begged for him to let go. The way his lips grazed her skin intently even as his hands moved clumsily.

It was safe to say, Jodi was quite smitten.

"Sometimes things change." Jodi simply shrugged, then went to drying the rest of the glasses.

* * *

"Munch! My office! _Now_!"

John had just pulled out his chair to sit down when Cragen beckoned him from across the room in a voice that meant it was certainly not for a friendly chat. Sighing, he prepared himself as he strode across the busy squad room, giving Fin a brief nod as his partner entered the room as well.

The moment he stepped into Cragen's office, the captain slammed the door shut viciously and stormed over to his desk, clearly infuriated about something which came as no surprise. After all, Cragen had a habit of finding fault where he could, and while John looked up to the man with the highest esteem, they found themselves at odds just as much as anyone else in the SVU. Perhaps the only difference was that being closer in age, the two at times stayed in the same mindset.

"What's up Captain?" John asked, and Cragen gave him a harsh look for a moment then sat down at his desk angrily.

"Tell me John, do you think this entire case is a joke?" he demanded in a harsh and soft tone, letting John know the explosion was coming. The best thing to do would be let it happen without interruption so he could get back to his desk as soon as possible and let the man cool down.

"Uh…" he trailed off cautiously, before Cragen pulled the _Times _from under his desk and slapped it on top, sliding it across John. Glancing down, he immediately found himself entranced by an image of Jodi, caught mid-laugh as she pressed her lips against John's cheek. In turn, he had an arm wrapped around her waist, thinking back to the moment. He said no pictures, but Jodi assured him the guy was just a photographer looking for some photos to add to his collection. It appeared his collection was the society section.

"Please explain to me why in the _hell _ you made the front page with Jodi Stanford?! Are you trying to risk everything on this case John?!" Cragen finally shouted, and John continued to stare at the picture, more in disbelief than anything else. Him. John Munch. In the _New York Times _with a bombshell wrapped around his arm, kissing him for all the world to see. He couldn't help but smile at the sheer madness of it all.

"You think this is funny? Because I'd like to know just what the hell you were doing taking public pictures canoodling with an open rape victim! The defense is going to have a field day whenever we catch this bastard. They connected the dots. Local there's a mention of Jodi's rape, and it lists you as the detective working the case!"

"I didn't know anyone was taking a picture I…" John trailed off as the reality of the situation finally set in.

"And where does you not saying a word to me about escorting her to an event come into play?!"

John remained silent, still looking down at the paper. Not only did this mean they could face problems with the case, it also meant Jodi would become the subject of stalking from reporters seeking anything they could find on the case. It was becoming a national headline. Her identity couldn't be protected forever of course, but it was all but destroyed now.

After several moments of silence John swallowed, and the captain let out a long sigh, sitting back in his chair. Reaching down under his desk, he grabbed a half-empty bottle of whiskey along with a glass, pouring it then setting it on the other side of the desk for John.

"Have a drink." He finally said, and John continued to stand, unsure of what to say. Bending over, he took the class from Cragen's lustful eye, but drank none, simply focused on removing it from his sight. Why he continued to tempt himself with the alcohol John had no idea, but he wasn't going to let the man relapse in front of him.

"Are you sleeping with her?"

John opened and closed his mouth, unable to spit out the lie which rested on the tip of his tongue. The fib he had been preparing for since he and Jodi shared their first kiss. In a job where he at times had to go undercover, John found it nothing short of impossible to fudge the truth, not only due to his respect for the captain, but his own feelings for Jodi.

It was in that moment that John realized that he did indeed, having feelings for Jodi. More so, they went far beyond sexual desire. For the first time, John was faced with the realization and reality that he really, truly, _genuinely_ like Jodi in a way he did not care to admit. He could not deny the romantic feelings budding within him along with the foolish and premature hope that perhaps the two of them could fall in love.

John could admit he had been quick to fall hard in the past. Four divorces proved that more than anything, but he couldn't make that mistake here. After all, Jodi wasn't even 20. She was too young to be married, tied down to some old geezer who could give her nothing but promises of a pension years in the future.

"I'm taking you off house visits, for your own good. We can't have the defense having a field day when we finally catch this guy. Off the record John, as a friend I have to warn you. I don't know much about Ms. Stanford but keep in mind she's young-"

"I know, Don. I just…keep thinking something's different. She's so young but when I talk to her it doesn't seem that way. And she looks at me like-"

"Like you're the most important person in the world?" Cragen finished, and John looked up for a moment before nodding. Her large doe eyes always focused in on John whenever she cast her attention towards him, making him seem he was the most significant thing in the room when he was with her.

Cragen's face softened brow furrowed and he motioned for John to sit once a more. Finally, he did, recognizing their conversation had come to a much deeper plateau. Leaning forward, Cragen clasped his hands on his desk then looking around for several moments.

"Let me tell you a story John, about a stupid boy who fell in love. Back during the war there was a girl. Her name was Mai. Means 'ocean'. She was one of the girls that would follow us around when we went into town, trying to get customers. About 16 or 17, I never got her age, and I can tell you…she was beautiful. For a girl living on the streets of Vietnam she had this glossy black hair that went all the way down her back. And these eyes, each time she looked at you she smiled with them. It was enough to make your heart melt. I'd been with her twice before I fell head over heels in love. I was young of course, and she entertained the notion. I think maybe even she believed she had feelings for me for a bit, but then it was all over. The war ended, it was time for me to go home. I asked her to come back with me and she said she couldn't. She told me deep down, I knew from the beginning what our relationship was about, and I did. Every now and then I think about her. Heaven knows what would've happened if she actually agreed to come back to America with me."

"Wow. I had no idea…"

"What I'm saying John, is just be careful. I can't say what this is. Maybe she wants something in return, maybe she's reaching out since her rape. Maybe she loves you. But you have to remember, we never retire from this completely. We don't get to just leave one day and forget about our daily routine. A serious relationship for anyone in this unit can almost decidedly end badly. Now, why don't you go on a ride with Fin. Got a new case from uptown."

John downed the rest of his glass, then set it on Cragen's desk with a gesture of thanks, his words echoing around in his head as he closed the door behind him. For the millionth time he wondered, what _were _Jodi's motives? What could she possibly see in him, and what reason would she have for wanting to be with him?

And even if she did, John could never escape the fact of age. The girl was 18. Not a full adult in the eyes of the law for another four years. She couldn't legally drink, rent a car, or even purchase cigarettes the next state over. Hell she certainly looked and acted older than her age, but John could never get away from the sickening feeling that he was taking advantage of her. He had seen it all, older men making younger women dependent upon them, a manipulation tactic. Is that what he was doing?

"You alright man? I caught a case up in midtown." Fin asked, slipping on his jacket and gathering a stack of papers from the desk he had just gotten settled into.

"Cragen told me. I'm coming with you." John said, and Fin nodded, waiting as John grabbed a coat. The two set out in silence, only breaking when Fin started the car.

"Everything alright with the captain? I saw that picture in the _Times_, you and Jodi getting a little cozy." Fin finally commented, and John adjusted his seatbelt uncomfortably, no longer wishing to talk about the subject, though he knew perhaps Fin was just the one to discuss it with. He knew Elliot wouldn't let him get past the age difference. Olivia would insist Jodi was after something. And while Fin seemed to have given up altogether on relationships, it would be nice just to get everything off his chest.

"Yeah. Can't sit on the house anymore." John replied quietly, glancing down as his phone vibrated softly. Sure enough , Jodi's name came up on the screen and he paused for a moment. It was the first time he had heard from her since he left that morning, and as butterflies danced in his stomach.

"You know Cragen's just looking out for you man." Fin assured him.

"Yeah I know. Didn't even know someone took a damn picture."

"You looked pretty happy. Bet you know what I'm going to ask next…"

"Am I sleeping with her?"

"Bingo."

John remained silent once more, unable to say yes, and unable to say no, giving Fin an answer.

"Jesus, man. You know you're playing with fire."

"I know! I wish everyone would just get off my back about it. Last night was the first time we even…just, tell me something Fin. You're my best friend, and I've gotta know."

"Of course man, anything."

"Do you think I'm being stupid. I mean am I falling for some kind of game?"

"You know man no one can answer that but yourself. You're the only one that knows Jodi I guess. Seems like a nice girl to me, but I get where you're coming from. If there's anything we've learned in this line of work it's that women can be just as devious as men.

"I want to think she has feelings for me. But why would a girl like her go for me?"

Once again, John's phone vibrated, this time loudly enough to draw Fin's attention.

"That her?" he asked, and John nodded, staring down at the screen of his phone for what seemed an eternity. What could the message possibly hold? An admittance of regret for last night and that morning? An apology accompanied by an explanation describing how she planned to use him but couldn't go through with it?

"You gonna check it?" Fin prompted, and John chewed on his lip for a moment, then finally unlocked his phone screen, bending forward to read the message that seemed to mean life or death.

Hope you have a g8 day handsome ! Talk to you soon!

The second text was a picture message, a snapshot of a thin 60's-style tie of navy blue with think pink stripes.

Thought you might like this, got it from Hugo Boss. Come pick it up later ;).

Swallowing, John looked up as he tried to think of what to say. He was uncertain of which left him more speechless, her well wishes, or the fact she hadn't gotten him a gift. Hugo Boss nonetheless. John knew menswear, and the fact that Jodi would even buy him anything at all once again made him question the specifics of their relationship. The night before, to her friends she had referred to him as her "boyfriend". Had it been in earnest? In truth it would be moving kind of fast, but then again, they'd already had sex.

"Hey, why don't I run in for some coffee?" Fin interrupted his thoughts and John silently thanked him.

"No, I'll get it."

* * *

"I though Detective Munch would be coming tonight." Jodi said as Elliot closed her front door behind him. Glancing at her, he noted the purple marks on her neck and tried to hold back a shudder at the thought of her engaged in any kind of behavior with Munch.

"Our captain doesn't think it's such a great idea for you two to be alone on the clock anymore. Conflict of interest, you understand." Elliot shrugged, watching as Jodi frowned. Her brow furrowed intently and she glanced at him with wide eyes that held a mixture of disappointment and anger.

Elliot himself still couldn't get over the situation itself. It turned out Liv had been right. Something was going on between Jodi and Munch, which seemed to defy the very laws of the universe. Munch, the bone-thin off-colored jokester who spent most of his free time coming up with conspiracy theories. It didn't make sense.

At first he didn't believe it, until he saw the picture. It was Kathy who had brought it to his attention, the snapshot with the two of them together. Munch looked happier than Elliot had ever seen him and Jodi…well, she was all eyes on him.

"Because of a fucking picture?!" Jodi snorted.

"C'mon Jodi, we both know it was more than that. "

At this, Jodi said nothing, further confirming Elliot's statement. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest then hesitated for a moment.

"Well I have to work tonight. I need to be at the club in an hour."

"Okay I'll take you. You know Jodi, I've seen a lot of things with this department, _a lot_. And I can tell you things always go deeper than they appear. Whatever is going on between you and Detective Munch…well I don't know what you think you're getting, but you're not hurting anyone but yourself." Elliot shrugged.

Immediately, Jodi turned to face him, her chest puffing and her face becoming red with rage.

"Again with this bullshit?! Why can't anyone just accept the fact that I'm interested in him, that's all?!"

"He's double your age! What could you possibly have interest in?!" Elliot exclaimed angrily."

"I don't know, maybe the fact that he's nice? Funny! Generous! Doesn't accuse me of being a gold digger any chance he gets. I can tell me that if you insult me one more time in my house you'll be dealing with a formal complaint Detective Stabler. I _like _John, and I don't have to answer to anyone about it, especially not _you_." She hissed dangerously, enough that Elliot tensed, her anger threatening possible violence.

As she stormed away, he wondered if perhaps he still judged her wrong. Could Jodi really have genuine feelings for John? Elliot didn't believe it. It was simply unnatural. How could a girl who wasn't even old enough to understand the world be taken with a man who had forty years on her?

He didn't want to understand it, nor did he want to believe Munch would fall for something so transparent. No girl that young could like a man for anything but his money, that Elliot was sure of.

* * *

"Okay girls, remember, we've got the ambassador from Germany here tonight. We need more international support, this could bring in a shitload of money. Jodi, Violet, and Candy, you girls are my stars. Tonight you're going to go out there, and make that Kraut so hot he'll never want to go back."

Jodi applied her lipstick carefully as Caleb gave the girls a pep talk. Next to her, a raven-haired woman named Violet who often teased the crowed with her dominatrix and submissive performances sprayed her hair, tossing it about wildly.

On her other side, another girl named Kitty who danced with fire. She applied several stick-on rhinestones to her face, looking like some sort of spectacle from Cirque du Soleil. In fact, that was her goal before coming to work at The House.

"Jodi, I need to see you out in the hall for a minute."

Setting down her tube of Chanel lipstick, she pushed her curls out of her face as she followed Caleb into the hall, closing the door of the community dressing room where the girls for the opener would be getting dressed.

"This is a big night for us. We need to do whatever we can to get the ambassador's money. You and Kitty are the two single most beautiful girls here. You're going to make him happy. An extra five grand is nothing to sneer at."

Jodi felt her face flush and frowned.

"Caleb I don't know…I mean, I really want this thing with John to work. Besides, he works in sex crimes. They deal with this stuff."

"No, vice deals with this stuff. I know because I've got Kelly in my pocket. Besides, it's not like he ever has to know. It's just sex, same as when we were dating. Now finish getting dressed, you girls will be up soon."

With that, Caleb left and Jodi walked back into the dressing room, staring in the mirror. She loved her job but for the first time, she wondered if there was something better. Sleeping with clients was how she made a great deal of money. Thousands of one night, it was tough to pass up. And any other time, she had no problem grinning and bearing it. But now, something was different. Although she and John had not established a relationship, she could not go into this without feeling guilty.

"Kitty, I need you to do something for me." Jodi said ten minutes later, grabbing the petite redhead's arm as they headed down the corridor to the stage. Hanging back, Kitty (whose real name was Alicia) stopped, glancing at the other girls before her eyes shifted back to Jodi.

On one occasion when she had an emergency and needed someone to watch her six year old son, Jodi agreed to do so. Naturally, Kitty owed her one although Jodi was unsure the favor would extend to pleasuring old German men.

"We're on in five."

"I know, I know. Listen, you know Caleb wants us to entertain tonight. But I-I can't. I can't get into why, but it's not something I can do. Will you take this one for me? Or even convince the guy to go for another girl?"

"Damn it Jodi. I'll see what I can do but I can't make any promises."

"Of course. Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"Whatever, I owed you one. Now c'mon."

* * *

John strode towards the entrance of the club, glancing immediately at the line which trailed down the block. Horny and desperate men eager to get a view of whatever they could, though John was surprised to see the crowd didn't stop there.

There were lipstick lesbians, clad in sparkly dresses that barely cleared their ass as they drew the attention of men who couldn't have them. Drag queens, standing tall in sky-high heels. Young couples, talking to one another as well as older ones who held on tightly as the line moved. Young frat boys, older Wall Street types, it seemed the club drew in everybody and anybody, a cabaret of the highest sorts.

"Hey there Bones, come on up here." Pitched a gruff voice, and John turned to find himself being shouted at by the bouncer who had let him and Fin in previously. Changing direction, he made his way to the front of the line, ignoring fierce glares and verbal jabs.

"Jodi asked me to look out for you tonight. Go on in." he gestured, the lifted the rope, allowing John to go through. John replied with a grateful nod then strode in confidently, struck by the fact that Jodi told the bouncer to look out for him. It seemed she really wanted him to come.

She had texted him, not long ago asking to come if he could, and after getting off John could not help but oblige, hoping he wouldn't be called back for another case. He hadn't seen Jodi all day, and the fact of the matter was, he still wanted to talk to her face-to-face about last night and that morning.

Upon stepping inside, he was surprised to find the entire scheme of the club had changed. Lights were now strung up everywhere, forsaking the element of anonymity for what seemed to be a 1940s nightclub theme. The waitresses wore slim-fitting dresses with slits up the leg and white boas, while up above a blonde put on her best Rita Hayworth impression as she sang _Put the Blame on Mame_.

"Well look at what the cat dragged in. Hey there Johnny boy." Came a voice, and John turned his head as Caleb Frank strode towards him, carrying a high-ball glass in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. Extending his arms like they were old friends he gave John a pat on the back, blowing a plume of thick smoke right in his face.

"You know it's no longer legal to smoke in public places." John straightened, and Frank gave him a sly grin.

"Well I won't tell if you won't. Jodi didn't mention you were coming." He said, and for the first time John really noticed what a creep the guy was. The way he spoke, calculating and slimy like a snake. He knew or wanted something from John, he could see that from a mile away.

"It wasn't exactly planned. Why, is that a problem?" he asked, making his dislike nothing short of obvious. Much to his strengthening ire Frank only laughed, and John found himself hoping he could trace the rape back to this asshole somehow.

"Course not. Relax. Look, I know we got off to a bad start Johnny boy-"

"-Detective Munch." John snapped.

"-Right. But you're an important part of Jodi's life, and Jodi's an important part of my life which means we better get along, right? Frankie, get over here! Show John here to one of the tables up front, make sure he's got a good seat and a drink in his hand all night. And spit out that goddamn gum, you're chewing like a cow." He said to a passing waitress, tone becoming magnificently frigid on the last command.

The young woman, with hair pinned back elegantly did as told, disposing of her gum inside a nearby napkin as her face flushed. Quietly, she tilted her head slightly as she stepped towards John and he was immediately overcome with an abusive dynamic.

"I'll see you later man. Got a real important guest tonight, ambassador from Germany." He stated absentmindedly then disappeared into the crowd before John could get another word in. Watching, John then turned to the timid waitress who looked after him.

"Are you alright? I can tell you're upset. He doesn't ever hurt you does he?" John asked, syncing back into SVU mode.

"What?! No! Of course not! H-he's just Caleb. I shouldn't have been chewing gum on the floor, it's a rule." The girl sputtered, face flushing bright red this time and it was abundantly clear that Caleb Frank was nowhere near the dedicated and loving boss he seemed. John made a mental note to pry whatever he could out of Jodi as he followed the young woman.

"John?" asked a voice he knew all too well and he turned his head as Elliot weaved through the crowd, freezing where he stood.

"What are you doing here?" he immediately choked, all but watching the thoughts fly through Elliot's head. From what he understood everyone in the office knew something of some sort was going on between Jodi and himself. That didn't mean he liked having to stare it in the face.

"I uh…what are you doing here?"

"Blue called in sick, they put me on duty for the time being. She said she had to work. John, you can't-"

"Sorry Elliot, can't here you." John shrugged, pointing to the band up front as men around the building screamed, before all but diving into the crowd as he sought out the waitress named Frankie once more, knowing he would have to deal with Elliot in the very near future. For now he would sit down and decide if coming here was a mistake altogether. It was true, Jodi had invited him, but he was spending his off hours at a cabaret. Not exactly where an officer of the law wanted to be.

Just as promised, he found himself seated in front where there were two rows of leather chairs, each with arms and a small silver table in front. The VIP section it seemed, and there John was, a few feet from the stage watched as the faux Gilda continued to parade around stage.

"What can I get you to drink? They're on the house." Frankie asked, and John glanced up at her shaking his head.

"Nothing. Water. Just no alcohol." He said, and she stared at him for a moment before disappearing. Looking around, he observed as some talked to one another, other staring up at the stage. He himself wasn't exactly comfortable from where he sat, getting a view of each and every part of Gilda up on stage as she bent over.

"Here you go, I got you a scotch and water." Said Frankie, handing him a highball glass filled with ice and liquor. Staring incredulously at the girl as she retreated John sat up and called out.

"I said no-" he began, but stopped as the announcer came over the PA system.

"Thank you Bridgette as the lovely Gilda. Now ladies and gents, in honor of our great guest this evening, the lovely Ms. Jodi Stanford presents an old favorite. Performed notably by Liza Minelli in the film version of _Cabaret_, I give you Jodi Stanford and the house band with _Mein Herr_!"

The band began to play an intro as Jodi paraded around the stage, certainly reminiscent of Minelli in a little black one-piece outfit, fishnet thigh-highs and garters, and a black bowler hat. In a pair of heels she grabbed a chair and sat down, tipping her hat slightly then glancing across the front row, her eyes settling on John.

As he caught her eye, he found himself amazed by the transformation of her appearance. Her dark hair was pulled back, eyes rimmed with heavy black makeup and a small beauty mole added to her cheekbone. Blush tinted her cheeks and a purple lipstick coated those luscious lips. From under the light, it was a harsh, glaring coat of cosmetics that gave Jodi the appearance of a stage girl—exactly what she was. Of course she looked beautiful (in a harsh dominatrix sort of way). John couldn't help but admit however, he certainly liked her better as she usually was.

Giving a small smile, John waved and to his surprise she blew a kiss, suddenly sitting up straight and crossing her long legs as if filled with some sort of newfound life. Placing her hat on her head she turned a faced the band then nodded as they began.

"_You have to understand the way I am…Mein Herr. A tiger, is a tiger, not a lamb, Mein Herr. You'll _never _turn the vinegar to jam, Mein Herr. So I do…"_

John couldn't help but smile as he watched Jodi up there, remembering having seen the film in theaters when it came out. Jodi shamed Liza Minelli in every way possible, and even further, she looked happier than he had ever seen her. Her smile, was genuine, not for stage. Her eyes, glimmered with excitement each time she looked around. It was the mark of a woman who loved what she was doing, he couldn't be happier for that.

That was, until, the clothes started coming off. As cheers erupted, John shifted, caught between the discomfort of impending arousal, and now sharing the body he had owned the previous night and that morning. Jodi was _his_ (wasn't she?), and he didn't much like having everyone else look over the body he planned to make love to later that same evening.

"I know that look John! She gave you a taste, didn't she?!" a voice exclaimed and John glanced up sharply as Caleb sat next to him, puffing on a cigar obnoxiously. Reaching out, John grabbed and extinguished the thing forcibly.

"I'll fine you for breaking the smoking ban." He snapped, almost reaching out and punching the asshole as he pulled out another cigar and a gold Zippo.

"No you won't. See, this is a place for like-minded people. I can tell you for a fact the first person who'll be after you is Jodi. Not like it matter, I'll get out of it. You know, she told me all about you. Spilled the beans about how you two had a hot night. Lucky you. She really likes you."

John furrowed his brow, uncertain if he should be happy Jodi expressed interest in him, or upset she would reveal the intimate details of what had happened between them to her employer/ex-boyfriend. What else had she told him?

"Don't look so peeved. I asked why she was so happy, she told me you two got together. That's it, no sordid details. I just want to make sure you treat-YEAH JODI! SHOW 'EM BABY!" he screamed mid-sentence, and John looked up at find Jodi ascending the stage, topless, as she walked over to a table to the right of the stage and sat down on a gentleman's lap who had to be in his 60s.

Kissing him on the cheek she smiled, then stood, bending over as waved her behind back and for him.

"Used to upset me too. But it's all part of the show. You get to go home and see you as she is. Without the makeup. You get to have her, touch her, feel her. Remember that." Caleb whispered in John's ear as he watched the gentleman slap her bottom. Turning away, he felt his face burn once more and tried to hang on to Caleb's words, finding it difficult to see another man touch her like that.

Then, suddenly, she stood before him and bent down, grabbing his hand.

"Ladies and gents, my wonderful boyfriend John Munch." She smiled, and the crowd began to cheer as she bent down and placed a firm kiss upon his lips before covering her mic and leaning down, lips brushing his ear.

"This is for you." She breathed, then grabbed Caleb and pulled back onstage, joining her background girls as she continued the song, eventually shedding to a black thong and nothing else as she finished out the song. Blowing a kiss to John she winked, and he grinned involuntarily, even as Caleb slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

"The illustrious, Jodi Stanford!" he announced, then sent her off backstage. Taking a hand microphone, he began to speak and John watched as the man Jodi had given a lapdance to got up and walked away, accompanied by several girls and what seemed to be a security detail.

"Hey! Mr. Munch!" a voice whispered, and John turned his to find the waitress who had seated him and Fin the first time they came in.

"Around the back. Meet Jodi." She said then disappeared into the crowd like some sort of Lisbeth Salander. Hesitating in confusion, John shook his head then stood up, ignoring the attention he received from now being known as Jodi's boyfriend as he headed to the front of the club.

"Leaving already?" the bouncer asked, and John ignored him, turning into the alleyway which had changed his life in many ways. As he walked towards the side door of the club it swung open, and Jodi stepped out, long legs and stockings sticking out beneath a black pea coat.

"Jodi, wh-"

"You drive your car?" she asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Let's go!" she exclaimed with a playful scream, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the nightclub.


	10. Repitition

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. Geez I just can't stop writing this story haha. I'm in love with it. I decided to throw in scenes from "Turmoil" last week to keep this story recent. Well I'm at a complete loss with the date in this story so I'll just wing it. I also do not own the rights to the songs **_**Feelin' Good**_** by Michael Buble/Muse/Nina Simone****. OMG so I just watched the newest episode "Perverted". It blew. My. Mind. Dick Wolf...I praise you. If you didn't catch it....go online and find it because that episode cannot be missed.**

**Repetition**

John walked into the massive kitchen to find Jodi sitting on a stool at the island bar timidly chewing a toasted bagel with cream cheese. She was wearing a silk bathrobe which hung loosely off her shoulder and it was evident she had nothing else underneath. Her long legs were crossed over each other in an example of effortless seduction.

"Morning beautiful." John smiled and walked over to her before kissing her on the shoulder.

"Mmm. Morning." she smiled then turned her head to kiss him. Their tongues clashed for a moment before she pulled away.

"Don't stop." John grinned diving for her mouth again.

"I think I should stop while I'm ahead." she muttered.

"Am I really that much of a turnon?" he joked knowing he was right. He could feel her body responding. Her nipples had already hardened against the thin fabric of her robe, and her pupils were already the size of golf-balls.

They kissed intensely for a moment before she pulled away for air.

"When do you have to be back?" she asked.

"Um...whenever Elliot gets here?" he lightly trailed his thin fingers up her thigh.

"Which will be when?"

"...Whenever he gets here?" John repeated.

"Hm." Jodi spun back around and continued with her bagel.

"Oh come one. You know you want to." John muttered in her ear before squeezing one of her breasts ever so gently from behind. Her back stiffened at the sensual touch and he saw her press her thighs together.

He moved the silk silently and caressed her soft mound and toyed with her hard nipple. She moaned loudly and leaned her head back on his shoulder.

Just as he made a movement to slip his hand between her legs she stood up.

"Shower." she panted.

He followed her with being asked to her master bathroom up on the second floor. She let the robe drop right outside the door and turned the knob so steaming out water sprinkled out before stepping past the glass door into the large space. John dropped what little he was wearing and followed suit. Her body was already soaking wet. Her usually curly hair fell in straight wet locks around her face.

As soon as he got in he pressed her against the wall underneath the water and kissed her passionately. She lost herself immediately in his mouth and wrapped her arms around him.

As the water hit their skin and steam poured from the shower the heat fueled them both. John grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist before sliding into her. In all his years of short marriage and one-night stands he had never had sex for hours on end and it shocked him at his age how his body seemed to do all the thinking for him. He felt like he was in his twenties again.

"You know I have to work tonight right?" she looked up at him.

"Shit I forgot. So do I. Down at precinct." John sat up.

"Okay....what if I come in after I'm done?" she stroked his chest gently.

"What time?"

"Um, maybe eleven. Twelve. Later?"

"Well, I've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on too. We've got a new rape homicide case. I'll probably be there until early in the morning."

"I'll keep you company." she winked and stood up slowly.

"Time to actually do what I came up here for." she looked at him and searched for a bottle of soap on the rack.

John stood up behind her wrapping his arms around her slippery waist. He just couldn't keep his hands off her.

She turned to face him and lathered up her hair eyeing him like she knew it was driving him crazy. He fidgeted under her stare forcing himself not to become hard. As she turned around she rubbed her ample backside against him and he shuddered.

He distracted himself by actually washing like he was in the shower for. Jodi turned off the water twenty minutes later and the two stepped out to a completely steam-filled room.

Jodi grabbed a huge red fluffy towel and dried herself off. John watched her damp shaking breasts and tried to clear his mind. There was no way in hell he could go into SVU and work on a case when the feel and sight of her body were stuck in his head.

The doorbell rang downstairs and they both looked at each other.

"Shit!" Jodi swore then ran down the hall to her bedroom. John followed and her quickly and immediately began collecting his clothes from the floor. Jodi threw on a bra and panties then quickly followed with a tank top and a pair of shorts and rushed downstairs. John himself fumbled with his clothes in an attempt not to look like he's been having sex the past few hours.

Jodi rushed to the door and opened it quickly to see Detective Stabler at the door.

"Morning Detective." she smiled.

"Morning Jodi. Have a good night?"

Jodi nodded breathlessly.

"Where's John?"

"Oh, he's using the bathroom." she lied quickly.

Elliot looked at her. The subtle twitch of her eyebrow gave it away. If she was hiding what he thought she was then...things were bound to get interesting.

"Okay...can you go get him for me?"

"Yes I can." Jodi spun and almost-sprinted up the stairs. When she got to her room John was standing in front of the mirror looking like a mess.

"Let me help you." Jodi walked over to him and began re-tying his tie. She looked up at him and planted restrained kisses along his jawline.

"I'll call you when I get the chance." John assured her. She smiled and looked up at him before kissing him gently on the tip of his nose.

"I'll see you tonight." she grinned and backed away. Before she got the chance to get far John grabbed her arms and dragged her into his own before kissing her. He pulled away reluctantly and sighed.

"Downstairs then?" Jodi sighed as well.

"I guess." John nodded.

She gripped his hand and led him down the hallways and down the stairs only dropping it when they came into view of Elliot.

Elliot himself looked at the both of them. John was walking only centimeter behind her. Both of them had soaking wet hair and the chances of Jodi having two bathrooms on the same floor even in a home thi extravagant wasn't likely. He also noticed the near dozen gentles bruises around her neck. Either she was sleeping with someone when John was there or the obvious.

"Hi John." Elliot said sardonically.

"Elliot." John looked a him. "Bye Jodi." he turned and waved at her before briskly stepping out the door.

Elliot slammed it behind him and looked at Jodi.

"So Jodi did you sleep well?" Elliot grinned at her tauntingly the way he did with so many perps.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" she caught onto his game almost instantly. She dealt with men like him on a regular basis.

"Just wondering. You just look like you've had a busy night." he looked straight into her eyes.

"Hm. I could say the same to you." she tilted her head.

"You've been busy I see?" he motioned to her neck.

"I'm a girl with needs."

"Oh that's understandable. It's just that John didn't say anything about you having any visitors."

"Detective Munch doesn't know every detail in my life."

Elliot was moderately surprised. She seemed to see right through his facade and replied like some of his more twisted perps. She was just going along for the ride, like it was nothing. She was good.

"So got any plans with this guy tonight?"

"I have to work tonight."

"When?" Elliot asked dropping his little game.

"Well I need to be at the club around six for rehearsals. I think I just want to go right after my set so I'll probably be done around eleven-thirty or twelve."

Elliot nodded then shifted uncomfortably. Even through his fights with Kathy he still felt like it was betrayal going to a strip club despite the fact it was part of his job. As soon as he thought about it his mind went back to those months ago when Kathy kicked him out and he ran to Olivia. The sweaty night was something he tried to keep in the back of his mind. Especially when he had lied to Kathy and told her he hadn't seen anyone else during that time.

"Alright, anything else I should know?"

Her face filled with a strange emotion Elliot didn't recognize.

"Um yeah...I want to visit my dad today."

***********

**Sing-Sing**

**Friday, November 5th**

Elliot watched the way Jodi's face lit up as her knight in an orange jumpsuit walked into the visitors room. He had only looked at the file a few days ago after John told everyone she had a father who was imprisoned. As he walked out Elliot studied him. He looked no older than forty with the exception of the lines around his face that he doubted came from age but rather a hard life. He was still well muscled as if he worked out everyday. He barely looked like Jodi with the exception of his prominent jawline and they both shared the same narrow slightly rollar-coaster nose.

He embraced his daughter and held her tightly for a moment before letting her go and sitting down at table with her.

"How've you been sweetie?" he squeezed her hand.

"Daddy, you know I'm more concerned about you." she smiled.

"Well...haven't been raped lately so...I guess that's the highlight of my week. But you didn't answer my question."

"I'm fine daddy. Everything's fine."

"You know I can tell when your lying." he looked at her then grinned. "I know that look."

"What look?" she asked startled.

"....Who is he?" her father grinned.

"Him? Oh that's Detective Stabler..." she turned to Elliot who smiled slightly.

"No not him. Whatever guy has got you looking as happy as you do right now."

Jodi smiled. Her dad had always been able to read her emotions like she was an open book. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"That's a conversation for when his co-worker isn't behind me."

He dad looked over at Stabler and smiled then winked at his daughter.

Elliot stood confounded wondering whether Jodi had just told her father that _he_ was her boyfriend.

"Wait...why is he with you?" he narrowed his eyes at Stabler.

"Um...." Jodi trailed off breathless. She had done everything in her power the past few weeks to keep her father from finding out about her being raped again.

"Oh. It's for my sociology class. I'm studying the psychological effects of socially sensitive topics on certain people and I came across Detective Stabler here."

Elliot raised his eyebrows. The lie came out so effortlessly even he would have believed it. To his surprise her father chuckled.

"Bullshit Jodi. What's going on. You in some kind of trouble?"

Panic spread over her face and she looked at Elliot for help. He only stared at her blankly unsure of what was going on.

"Jodi..." her father repeated, his tone now becoming a warning.

"Um....." she bit her lip and looked at her father through her hair. "dad listen. Okay so there's this guy. It's no big deal but...he's raped a lot of girls. I'm not sure how many exactly but he's killed all of them too. Except one."

"Okay Jodi what are you saying? Are you dating this bastard?"

"No! God daddy no! It's just....well there's one victim he didn't kill."

"Get to the fucking point Jodi."

"Me."

"Wait...what?"

"Um...he raped me."

The transformation occurred in less than a second. Jodi's father lost his calm and collected disposition. The moment Elliot saw his fists clench he made a move for him.

"WHAT?!" he screamed and jumped up. The table flipped over and Jodi scooted back just in time. In seconds a group of security guards rushed in restraining her father. Jodi screamed.

"Wait don't hurt him!" she yelled.

"LET ME GO!" her father screamed in a strangled voice.

"Dad!" she cried as they dragged him from the room. The shudders wracked her body the moment he disappeared and hot tears streamed down herface as the image from so many years ago returned. The police dragging her father away after he avenged the killings and rapes of those innocent little girls.

"C'mon Jodi." Elliot placed his hand on her back and led her from the scene.

*****************

Jodi sat in her dressing room staring at herself in the mirror. The entire day had been a nightmare to itself. Elliot himself had left abruptly after they got back to her apartment claiming he had another case and was replaced with a man named Dr. Huang who had attempted to weasel feelings out of her but she wouldn't budge.

She looked at the clock on her wall. She had twenty minutes until rehearsal started then hours before she actually preformed. She sighed. As of now she wore a pair of black leggings and a fitted black turtle neck shirt with a black scarf wrapped around her flaming red hair. All day she had been reliving the horrors over and over again with no one to distract her from it like the last time. Most nights she still had nightmares coupled with new ones of the body's she had seen or the decapitated head and in each dream the killed got and closer and closer to her. She feared the dream the most when he'd finally reach her. She had trained herself to wake up every few hours during her teenage years after her aunt's households staff got sick of her shrieking at 2 A.M.

Her phone vibrated on the desk and she answered it not checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" she answered wearily.

"Jodi! What the hell is going on?! I've texted you about...well alot. Elliot told me what happened. Where are you?" John's frazzled voice sounded through her phone.

"I'm at work. I didn't answer because I don't really feel like talking to anyone." she replied.

John paused awkwardly before replying.

"Okay well...I was really concerned about you. You're still coming tonight right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay good. I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah I guess."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up the phone and sighed. He understood her being upset but did she really not want to talk to him? He was stressed enough with this new case and now that Elliot's son was missing the entire office had gone haywire. He was still praying that everyone would be out by the time Jodi came. He was supposed to take shift after midnight and he was thinking about taking her back to his place.

"Miss Stanford. Five minutes." sounded a voice through her door. She sighed and stood up then quickly walked down the bleak corridor getting her mind into performance zone. There was no way she could let her day get the best of her tonight. It was her debut performance in weeks and she according to her boss she had been sorely missed by customers.

She walked out to the seating area. Two girls named Haily and Christene were tonights opening act and were already onstage ready to preform. The two deathly-skinny blondes had a habit of stopping in the middle of their songs and going down on one another which made half the crowd go insane and the other half irritated. Here at La Maison anything that raked in money went as long as it was within boundaries and not illegal.

She ran to the bar and got a shot of straight tequila hoping to relax herself a bit. She was letting her day get the best of her already. She went back to her seat with the other girls and Dr. Huang sat down at her otherwise empty table. Only a few men were allowed in the club before openning which included some of the other dancers husbands etc.

"Jodi you know you may feel a little more relaxed if you talk about the situation at hand right?" he looked at her.

She glared at him from the corner of her eyes then set her head down on the table. At times like this the overwhelming need for a mother washed over her and she felt close to tears but blinked them back insistently. She closed her eyes and rested for the next half hour before she was called up to the stage.

Everyone stared at her anticipated what was to come after her absence. She took a deep breath and cleared her head of everything else in her mind before grabbing the mike.

_Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel._

_Sun in the sky, you knoow how I feel._

_Breeze, driftin' on by, you know how I feel._

_It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life. For me...and I'm feelin'....good._

The moment the brass began to play she ripped the scarf off and preformed her routine like it was her dying day. When she was done and calmly and collectively walked offstage and mentally prepared herself for her next song. As she sat back down at her table Dr. Huang stared at her.

She was such a complicated girl. He could tell her early childhood was hard and that she never really got over it. She grew up fast and independent learning to take care of herself at a young age and succeeding greatly. She was strong, and confident...but one thing was missing. She lacked both a mother and father figure in her life. Although she saw her dad as a hero for sticking up for her, there was no one there to physically help her through things. No one to hold her when she needed it. There were rumors floating around the precinct about her and John and if they were true it explained itself. He refusal to talk or even cooperate showed that she kept things held in most of her life, only half-adopting the Upper-East Side lifestyle of keeping feelings bottled up inside.

She was so mixed and layered it was almost impossible to read her. After a breif song she came back to sing her next song before finally exiting the stage and going back to her dressing room in silence. She curled up in her chair and rested her head on her knees. She looked at her phone on the dresser and thought about how she had driven John away. He was the one person she really needed right now.

She debated whether or not to call him. He sounded busy last time they talked and she really didn't want to be interrupting his work. She finally made a decision and picked up the phone.

As it rang she sighed figuring he was too busy to pick up and just as the thought ran through her mind he answered.

"Jodi?"

"John...I....I'm sorry were you busy?"

"No! No. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." she struggled to keep her voice even.

"I'm a cop Jodi. Don't even try and lie on this one."

"Um...okay. It's just...God what am I doing bothering you at work. I'm sorry I'll go now."

"No Jodi wait! Just...when do you preform?"

"In a couple hours why?"

"I'm coming down there. Now."

"What?! Wait! John you don't have to do that!"

"I'll be there in thirty."

He hung up leaving Jodi open mouthed on the other line. It was cutting kind of close to the time boundaries where she was no longer allowed to have visitors before going onstage and she didn't want John to get in trouble with his boss. It wasn't until then she realized how far he was really willing to go for her.

***********

John stepped out of his car a near half hour later. Traffic had been backed up the ass in the post rush-hour haze as people drove from home having just changed to go out to the bars and restaurants. Nannies and teachers finally getting off and students coming back from after-school activities.

John parked on the curb then hopped out and walked up the sidewalk. A few gentlemen were in line already wanting to be the first ones to get in. The bouncer looked at John challenging him to try and get through.

"Hi. I'm here to see my ugh...my girlfriend?" he stammered unsure of what to call you.

"Don't seem to sure about her man." the bouncer replied in a slightly amused and booming voice.

"Truth is I'm not sure what to call her really." John replied.

"Any other time I'd say no but I remember you the last time you came in here. Cop right?"

"Yeah."

"Thought so. I never forget a face. Go on in. For the future though if you want in before the show you gotta show up with your girl."

John nodded. "Thanks man." As the bouncer lifted the velvet rope there was a small chorus of groans from the twenty person line.

He walked inside surprised to see the interior had changed remarkably since he had last came. This week was decked out in a futuristic style. As of now waitresses and dancers flitted across the building like maniacs. Waitresses were running back and forth with platters and the women behind the bar were already mixing drinks.

"Can I help you?" asked a perky blond eyeing him over a tray.

"Yeah I'm looking for Jodi Stanford."

"See that door right there next to the stage? Down the hall and make a left all the way to the end of the corridor. Her name's on her door."

"Thanks." John quickly rushed past.

He had up and left since he was now in charge for the rest of the wee. Everything was pretty much chaotic seeing as to how Elliot was running around like a headless chicken looking for his son and the rest of them were trying to solve numerous cases at once. The perp on Jodi's case seemed to have taken a break. The body count was now up to sixteen and had already had national headlines. John knew it was only a matter of time before the reporters got to Jodi. They had all pretty much taken a break from her case but would soon be starting again.

He disappeared into the bleak grey corridors. A huge change from the glamorous club outside. He followed the faux blondes directions and saw Jodi's name on her door and knocked.

"Who is it?" she asked weakly.

"It's me."

The door opened in a matter of seconds and Jodi answered wearing a skimpy lingerie set barely covered by an open mens shirt. Her hair was slicked back completely and tied multiple times into a bun and she wore dark red lipstick and her dark lashes were coated heavily with black mascara and eyeshadow.

"Hi." she attempted to give a smile.

"Hi." John replied awkwardly.

They stood in silence for a few moment before either said anything else.

"So you gonna come in or not?"

He stepped in and she closed the door behind her. They both stood staring in another awkward silence.

"So how are you?" he finally asked.

"I'm fine." she answered curtly and walked back to her chair. Before she could sit John grabbed her arm and pulled her over.

"How are you really?" he looked directly into her huge eyes. The sparkle was gone and they looked completely dead.

"....Shitty I guess. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No. I want to hear that you're fine but only when you actually mean it."

She stared at him and stepped in closer before breaking down and pushing herself into his body. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

"God everything is just so fucked up right now." she breathed into his shirt.

John moved his arms down to her waist. He had been planning on telling her he made Sergeant for the week but wasn't sure if he should go on with good news about himself when she was so miserable.

She looked up at him with those big Bambi eyes and John felt his heart swell. How the hell did she do that? She managed to capture every personality in her face. The sex goddess. The independent woman. The vulnerable girl. All of them wrapped together made her nothing short of the perfect woman.

He leaned down and kissed her rouge-colored lips. The feel of her mouth was beyond perfect. She kissed him back eagerly as if she had been waiting for it all along and wrapped her arms around his neck.

As her tongue slipped into his mouth a felt a small thrill go through his body. It was once again a first for him that she drove him this crazy with the most simple things. He could probably kiss Olivia and it would be just that. A kiss. But with Jodi...almost anything she did set him nearly on fire.

He pushed her away gently and she looked at him confused.

"You have no clue what you're doing to me do you?" he chuckled.

"What do you mean?" she breathed.

"I don't think you understand that just kissing you is a turnon." she grinned at her.

She grinned, the lively flush returning to her face.

"I don't think you understand that I like turning you on." she half-joked.

"Get over here." he grabbed her and began kissing her again.

The vibrations of the phone is his pocket tore them apart as he dug out the ever-interrupting phone.

He pulled it out, finding a text from Fin wondering where he was.

"You've gotta go." she simply stated.

He sighed then kissed her forehead.

"I'll see you later tonight."

She nodded then grasped his hand before he finally left the room.

She fell into her chair with a sigh as she watched him leave. It already felt as though a part of her joy had been taken along with him. She stopped to think...there was always tonight.


	11. Evening, Officer

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. Like I said...I can't stop writing this story. Hm see I've got all the drama stored in my head and I keep finding places to put it but the smut just takes over. I also don't own the song **_**Feelin' Good **_**(see previous chapter) or **_**Bubble Pop Electric**_** by Gwen Stefani. Dear reviewer: I love you. Every chapter I write is for you. Thanks for being here for me. I'm already thinking of a sequel after the case is solved and Jodi and John are together, but there are still many chapters to go here. Well I'm rewatching this episode and it turns out Cragen's suspension was 10 days so I'll be having fun with this :)!**

**Evening, Officer**

Jodi yawned tiredly as she dozed in the back of Dr. Huang's car. After her tiring performance she wanted nothing more than to sleep but she wanted to be with John first.

Her performance had been spectacular if she said so herself despite the fact that she never really was one to gloat. By auctioning off her top hat for _Feelin' Good _and her authentic "Pink Ladies" style jacket for _Bubble Pop Electric_ she'd earned the club over fifty grand and a nice chunk of that went into her paycheck.

After a half-hour catnap Dr. Huang awoke her when they arrived in front of the 16th Precinct building. Jodi stepped out still wearing her last costume, a huge poodle skirt and see-through white blouse. Her red hair was tied up on top of her head with a bow and she looked like an authentic 1950's teenager.

Dr. Huang escorted her up the nearly-empty building which was unusually quiet. He had only been here this late once which was the reason for his current suspension.

When they entered the room was completely dark and empty save for John's desk where a small lamp was lit.

"Hey John." Dr. Huang greeted him.

John looked up tiredly and waved then looked at Jodi and did a double take at her outfit. It was a complete change from the one he had previously seen her in.

"Jodi..." he started staring at her. The blouse she wore clung marvelously to her large breasts and accentuated her hourglass figure as it disappeared into the poufy skirt. The high ponytail and lack of makeup screamed fake innocence. He'd never seen her look so....cute. Was that the word for it?

Dr. Huang looked back and forth between the two. They were both staring at each other like hungry wildcats and the sexual energy in the room was obvious. There was a difference between tension and energy. The tension was unspoken and unfueled but here...it was pure energy. They were sleeping together. The way they were looking at each other.

"Um...I guess I'll leave then." Huang pursed his lips and slowly walked backwards.

"Bye. Thanks for everything." Jodi waved still staring at John.

Dr. Huang rapidly turned and descended the stairs already knowing what was about to happen.

The moment he disappeared John walked over to Jodi and grabbed her, throwing her down on one of the desks.

"This outfit..." he started kissing her glitter-covered neck.

"Yes?" she giggled.

"...is insanely sexy." he continued burying his face in her neck.

"Really?" Jodi laughed.

"Mmhm."

Jodi closed her eyes content as his lips continued to travel around her neck.

"What time can we leave?" she gasped.

"What's the rush?" he started to make a move towards her shirt.

"Well I'm tired...but if we go back to your place I promise I'll give you something in return."

She grabbed his hands from her shirt and pushed them back at him them stood up. He stared at her for a moment before resolutely closing the folders on his desk and turning off them lamp so that they were in darkness except for the lights outside.

"March young lady." he commanded and slapped her ass.

The ride back to John's home was much anticipated because they both knew what was coming. On the way there neither could stop touching each other. Jodi almost caused him to rear-end someone when she'd rub her hand up and down his thigh.

They finally stopped in front of his brownstone and both rushed out of the car. Jodi waited anxiously as he dug out his key and unlocked the door. She walked in cautiously unsure of what to expect. John turned the light on revealing his messy boy-ish apartment. Papers and beer cans littered the floor and the corner of his living room was crammed with the most updated technology.

"It's shitty. I know." he looked at Jodi.

"No it's perfect actually." she smiled at him genuinely and he could tell she actually meant it. Back in Baltimore all of his previous wives had been disgusted with his bachelor pad. One even demanded he take her to a hotel.

"Would you like me to show you around?" he asked.

"Of course!" she exclaimed and grasped his hand. He led her around the cluttered building. Jodi took everything in like she already belonged.

He led her upstairs to his bedroom which was slightly cleaner because he actually had to sleep there. Jodi collapsed on the old mattress and the springs protested nosily. Much different from her Swedish memory-foam one.

She looked up at him over her eyelashes. He looked so damn cute standing there bashfully.

"Come here." she extended her arms and grinned.

He jumped into them pushing her onto the bed. It creaked ominously and John paused alarmed waiting for Jodi's reaction. She only laughed then began to kiss him.

"Don't worry I love it." she whispered in his ear before nibbling on it. John grabbed her arms and held them over her head then surveyed her.

"What?" she giggled.

"You just look like a 1950s schoolgirl." he mused.

"Oh?! Do you like it?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Actually I do. But I may have to punish you..."

"Oh? For what?"

"I don't know...insubordination?"

"But sir!"

"And now talking back."

"But Detective."

"That's three strikes Jodi."

"Am I going to be punished?"

"Nothing goes unpunished. Stand up."

She lifted herself up off the bed trying not to laugh then stood in front of John. He grabbed her waist and pulled her over then looked at her for a moment.

"You have to do everything I say."

"Yes sir."

"Take off this skirt." he tugged impatiently at the material.

She grabbed the zipper in the back and pulled it down then dropped the full skirt. Of course she had to take her clothes off during her performance so she had on full 50's style lingerie underneath but John didn't know that.

"Good. Now that shirt."

She took her time with the blouse, unbuttoning each button deliberately slowly. She could see John breathing hard already and grinned internally. She let the shirt drop revealing an ivory and black lace corset, thong, garter, and thigh high ensemble underneath.

"Wha-?" John was left speechless.

"Is something wrong sir?" Jodi batted her lashes.

"I um....damn Jodi. Just get the fuck over her."

She walked closer to him and he traced his finger up the material.

"How do I get this shit off?" he asked.

She grabbed on of his hands and unclipped one of the garter belts then turned her other leg so he could do it himself. He unfastened it then found the zipper on her back and pulled it down letting the clothing case fall down around her.

"Take that off." he motioned at the thong.

She grabbed the floss-thin material and pulled it down slowly and seductively making eye contact with him the entire time.

He grabbed her voluptuous body and threw her down underneath him then ripped his own clothes off in animalistic lust.

He couldn't even spend any time playing around now. He was so hard he thought he was going to implode. He grabbed her legs and opened them then shoved all of himself into her. She gasped and dug her nails into his back. He pulled out almost all the way then pushed in again and began drilling into her. Jodi gripped his shoulders and bit her lip as his hardened member moved inside of her. Each movement was pure bliss. She grabbed one of the pillows and put it over her face as she began to scream. He was going so hard on her it was unlike him and she loved every moment of it. She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly as he slid in and out.

John listened to Jodi's muffled screams as he continued to pleasure her. He had imagined this all day. From the time he had walked into the precinct all the way to the brutal carride home where she continued to touch him. Her body was like a drug to him now. He needed it, wanted it.

Jodi closed her eyes immersed in the scent of John on the pillow covering her face and the waves of pleasure that were racking her body. The way he had just attacked her brought out an entirely different side of him she had never seen. Her nails dug into her skin as she tightened her legs around his waist almost at her point of climax.

John grabbed the pillow from her face and threw it across the bed so that he could kiss her. Her entire face was flushed bright red like it got before she climaxed.

John looked down at the red flush that crept over her chest. John kissed it before grabbing one of her shaking breasts. She bucked wildly before tensing and digging her nails so vigorously into his back that he hissed through his teeth.

She fell limp underneath him and John let himself release into her knowing she couldn't take anymore. He fell next to her weakly and she rolled into his arms happily.

"By the way I'm in charge for the rest of the week." John talked tiredly into her hair.

"Hm?" Jodi raised her eyebrows confused.

"At the SVU. Cragen got suspended for the rest of the week leaving yours truly in charge."

"Oh? Well I guess you can explain or maybe show me your new...perks would they be?"

He chuckled then kissed her forehead. She was here. In his home. In his bed. And unlike most of his dates she wasn't complaining about the mess or even looking uncomfortable. She was perfect.

They lay there in silence and in a matter of seconds Jodi's chest began to rise and fall in spaces. John looked down at her closed eyes. In moments John himself fell asleep moments later.

************

John awoke only two hours later as Jodi began to stir in his arms. Her jerky movements startled him and he looked at the clock. It was only three in the morning which meant he had at least four more hours of sleep as long as nothing happened.

"No." she continuously muttered in her sleep. John stared unsure of what to do before she finally awoke screaming. She sat up shocked for a moment before breaking into uncontrollable tears.

John sat up and gently placed his hands on her arms and kissed her shoulder.

"What is it?" he whispered in her ear tenderly tucking back a piece of red hair. She ignored him leaning over and bringing her knees up to her face before burying her head in them.

She had woken with nightmares for weeks now and had learned do just get a drink and just go back to bed but she felt so weak now waking up like this in front of John. He probably thought she was being unbelievably dumb and vain.

"C'mhere." John muttered and forcibly pulled her shaking body into his. She fought against him but he kept a tight grip on her.

"It's okay..." he kissed her forehead then moved her arms away and compassionately tilted her chin up. Her red face was streaked with tears. He kissed her lips softly then hugged her. She took a moment to respond before finally burying her head in his chest and wrapping her arms around him.

He leaned back and put a few pillows behind his back to prop himself up and let her cry on his chest. Eventually her sobs dwindled down to mere sniffles and John thought it was safe to inquire.

"What's wrong?" he asked into her fruit-scented hair.

"Just these stupid nightmares. Shit I'm sorry I know how stupid that sounds."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Nightmares. About..." she trailed off and he already knew. He grabbed her tightly.

"He's not going to get you Jodi. There's no fucking way I'll let him."

"I know I just...I feel...I'm scared."

"I'm here."

She wrapped her arms around his skinny body tighter as if he would disappear. John tightened his grip as well feeling protective. The hell if he'd liet that psychopath get her. He'd do whatever it took to keep the bastard away even if it meant killing the guy himself.

***********

Jodi woke up to an empty bed and almost began panicking before she realized where she was. She lay there for a moment before sitting up slowly. Her hair was tousled and all over her head but she didn't care. She looked around the messy room. One of John's shirts sat on the floor so she scooped it up and slid it on quickly taking in his scent. She only buttoned a few buttons and let the sleeves fall past her hands. It surprised her that the shirt was so big since he was so skinny and she had so large of a chest.

She walked slowly through his home taking everything in. She herself wasn't actually a clean person, she was just meticulous about the way her mess looked. Not to mention the fact she had housekeeping that cleaned up for her. John's home was just cozy enough. She walked down the creaky stairs as quiet as possible into the living room then the kitchen. John was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee.

She walked over to him trying to push her little incident during the night. John looked up at her and smiled.

"Morning." he almost chirped.

"Hi." she said softly.

John looked at her. She was wearing one of his shirts and it looked pretty damn good on her too, hugging her in all the right places and skimming over everything else.

"I like that." he grinned her pulled her into his lap. She crossed her long legs so they extended over the table. John put his hand feeling the silky smooth feel of them.

"So what's going on today?" she asked.

"Well...Elliot found his son so I was thinking maybe I'd take the morning off and we'll do whatever. Then after lunch...well how'd you feel coming into the office with me?"

"For how long?"

"The rest of the night. Any good at secretarial work?"

"I suppose."

"Good I'll have a solid excuse for having you with me. You can help with my work. How about it?"

She nodded without even mulling the situation over. Of course she'd like to go with him.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"Well it is morning."

"And that means?"

"Of course I am!"

"Fine. I know this great place."

"I think I'll need some clothes too."

"Maybe. We'll stop by your place."

"Okay."

The both looked at each before going for the much-anticipated kiss. It was only eight in the morning and both of their sexual overdrives had already begun to kick in.

John ran his hand up Jodi's thigh knowing she had nothing on underneath his shirt. She leaned into him as if urging him to slide his hand completely underneath the thin fabric and where she wanted it.

Just as he brushed her sensitive spot his phone rang.

"I'm going to smash this fucking thing one day." he sighed and answered it.

Jodi climbed off of him and began to walk away before he answered it.

"Man where the hell are you?" Fin's voice raged.

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone down here is running around like their heads got chopped off. No one knows what to do! When the hell are you getting here man?"

"I-Okay fine. I'll be down there in about an hour, hour and a half maybe."

"Hour and a half?! We don't have that much ti-"

John hung up before he partner could say anything else and stood up. Well there went his nice morning with Jodi.

He walked up the stairs so he could tell her and figured from the sound of running water she was in the shower. He opened the bathroom door already greeted by a column of steam. He pulled back the curtain without hesitation and was greeted by a very sensual Jodi lathering up her hair in the steamy mist.

She looked at him and winked, her entire body slippery and shining with water.

"Ch-um change of plans?" he stuttered staring at her body.

"Hmm?" Jodi grinned before turning and giving him a view of the other side as well.

"I uh-I have to...g-go into the office early." he felt his heart begin to pound in his chest.

"Mmm." she moaned in response teasing him.

John stared at her ass feeling the heat rush through his body. She knew what she was doing. She also must have known there was only so much longer he could watch her without touching.

"So...yeah..." he continued almost gasping. She turned around and swung her wet hair from her face and gently trailing one of her hands from her neck downward.

He continued staring as she posed for him, meeting his eyes and sending a chill up his spine every time he looked into them.

She finally stopped and stared at him before giving a slight smile and crooking her finger for him to join her in the shower.

As usual his body did the talking for him as he instinctively reached for his shirt and untucked it from his pants. He quickly stripped out of his neat clothes before stepping in quickly and joining her. As soon as he stepped into the hot water he wrapped his arms around her body pressing his fingers into her soft skin.

He kissed her neck feeling her relax underneath his touch. She moved from underneath him and bent over putting her hands against the wall. John looked down. She was ready and waiting. He put his hands on her waist and slid into her then adjusted himself before quickly pushing into her.

Her body rocked forward with each thrust. She moaned loudly, willing herself to come as quickly as possible.

John's eyes rolled in the back of his head as he slid in and out of her wet passage. Never before had a woman driven him this crazy. In his past he did have a habit of throwing women away after a somewhat-satisfactory one-night stand but he couldn't get enough of Jodi. Or fucking her.

After a few minutes the two cried out after sharing a climax. John's phone rang irritably on the floor but he ignored it as they showered before finally getting out.

John put on his now-wrinkled clothes again and waited as Jodi grabbed a towel and began to dry herself off. He grabbed it away from her then wrapped it around her body and began helping her. He dried off the wet spots caringly. She giggled as he kissed her on the forehead and ran his fingers across her soft shoulders. She was one of the only women he'd been with that didn't demand being treated like a princess, which only made him want to.

"I'll need some clothes." she giggled.

"Yeah I know. We'll stop by your place first and grab something."

She nodded the smiled.

"John?" she began.

"Yeah?"

"I....I uh,..." as the blush crept through her cheeks John wondered what she was going to say.

"What is it?"

"I...never mind." she shook her head and looked away.

John stared at her. Her face was completely red and she refused to meet his eyes. What had to be so apparently embarrassing that she couldn't tell him? He elected not to push the matter any further for fear of upsetting her.

"Go get one of my shirts and throw that on just for the car."

She nodded and walked across the hall to his bedroom. This would be an exciting day.

************

Everyone stared as John walked in with his red-headed mistress. The two looked so oddly coupled that it screamed unspoken words of "look at me!"

Elliot stared over his computer. John and Jodi walked in silently ignoring everyone else. John kept his hand lightly on her waist to look like casual guidance but everyone could tell they were sleeping together.

He led Jodi to his desk before pulling out his chair and motioning for her to sit down.

"I've got to go talk to a couple people then I'll be back. Need anything?" he whispered in her ear.

"No I'm good. Just hurry back." she smiled.

He squeezed her hand under the desk before standing up and making eye contact with Elliot, Olivia, and Fin.

As he began to walk away they all followed him back to Cragen's empty office. The moment he closed the door they all ganged up on him.

"Just what the hell is going on here John?" Elliot stared down John.

"'Scuse me?" John replied innocently.

"So what, did you bring her here so you could add it to the list of places you've banged her?" Elliot retorted.

"Elliot your out of line." John felt heat flood his pale face.

"No John, _your_ out of line. You think no one knows that your fucking her? And you think just because Cragen's not here that you can get awa with it?"

John stared at Elliot emotionless as hundreds of thoughts ran through his mind. How the hell had everyone found out? How could they have found out?

"Any news on the perp?" he asked refocusing his concentration.

Elliot snickered and turned around.

"Yeah. One more body, but it's the same as usual. No DNA, no witnesses, no nothing."

"Well, Fin see what you can find and get back to me. Elliot and Olivia...see what you can dig up on the new case. I have a feeling we're close to wrapping it up/"

Elliot prepared to say something but stopped when Olivia placed a hand on his shoulder. He gave John one last deathly glare before departing with Olivia.

Fin stayed back and looked at John.

"Hey man, you know I'm here for you but Elliot's right. When Cragen finds out-"

"Just stop. He won't find out. Now please stop worrying about me and get out there and see if we can get any closer to the killer."

Fin sighed then opened the door letting his friend handle things on his own.

John followed behind him and walked back to his desk. Jodi was sitting there like he had left her lounging casually with her legs crossed. As John walked towards her she couldn't help but notice the change in his appearance. His shoulders and face were tense and his skin paler than usual.

"What's wrong?" she asked as he pulled up a chair.

He shook his head and reached for a crate of folders and slammed then on his desk. The room was almost empty now except for a few others.

"John." Jodi put her hand on his leg. He twitched underneath her touch momentarily, but then relaxed.

"I'm fine." he lied horribly.

"Talk to me." Jodi rubbed his leg gently. His walls of resolve came down and he surrendered as he looked into her adoring eyes.

"I just...I guess everyone knows about us and Elliot was...I don't know how to explain it."

"I understand. You don't have to. So what does this mean?" she looked worried.

"What do you mean?"

"For us? I mean...do you want to end this or what?"

"End it! Fuck no! Why do you want to?"

"No."

"Alright then. Don't worry we're not ending anything." he smiled and kissed her hand.

"Good. Need any help with anything?"

"Yes as a matter of fact." he patted the crate then stood up to pull the heavy stacks from the black container.

"What's this?" Jodi asked.

"These are the summarized case files from all the victims of your case. I need you to go through and alphabetize each of the victims, then separate the stacks that we visited from the ones we haven't. The rest I'll get to when your finished."

"Okay." she smiled then spread the files out in front of her before getting to work.

John watched her as she worked meticulously. Her red-brown eyebrows furrowed attractively and he felt something weird go through his body. Not the usual sexual chill that went through his body when he looked at her. It was something else. Something different. Something new.


	12. Something New

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. Okay so I started making spelling and grammatical correction but my page left right in the middle of doing so and it's now two in the morning so please forgive my spelling issues just this once.  
**

Something New

"How about lunch?" John looked at Jodi as she sighed miserably.

"Lunch...sounds really good right now." she slammed one of the case files shut before stretching her legs. She hadn't moved in three hours since John gave her the paperwork.

She slid her feet back into her black Converse low-tops and pushed the seat back. John grabbed his coat from over his chair and slid it on.

John led the way from the squad room, ignoring everyone's eyes. Elliot was thankfully preoccupied at his desk with his son while Olivia was unsucessfully offering him lunch.

As soon as they hit the door to the precinct John grabbed her and pushed her up against the freezing stone wall before kissing her intensely.

"I've been waiting to do that all morning." he breathed.

"Me too." Jodi smiled before putting her hands on his cheeks and bringing his mouth to hers once again.

He pulled away reluctantly as he heard footsteps and looked at an officer getting out of his car. The policeman averted his eyes and acted like he hadn't seen anything.

John sighed then looked at Jodi and shrugged. As they walked to his car he grasped her hand which was stone cold.

"Your hands are freezing!" he exclaimed.

"Oh. No I'm fine." she replied, her breath coming out in visible puffs.

As soon as they got into the car he turned on the heat and grasped both of her hands, rubbing them vigorously.

"John I'm fine." she insisted.

He kissed her fingertips before slowly pulling out into the moderatly-busy street.

"So where to for lunch?" he asked.

"I don't care. I'm just hungry."

"Okay..." he looked over at her. She put her long legs up against the dashboard. Despite the cold tempratures she wore a short denim skirt that showed off her legs effortlessly and a Pittsburge Steeler's hoodie. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her face was completely makeup free, but she still looked beautiful.

"John, what are you doing tomorrow?" Jodi suddenly asked.

"Um...I'm not sure yet why?"

"I wanted to go visit my dad and I really want you to come with me."

"Alright. That sounds great. Mind me asking why?"

"Why? Oh you know, I just think it'd be a good idea for my dad to meet my boyfriend you know."

At the word John's stomach flopped. She'd made no referance to him as such since that night of the party and he'd always been uncertain of where exactly their relationship stood. Not to mention that most of their time together was consumed with sex. He hadn't had an actual relationship with a woman in....well awhile.

"Boyfriend?" he repeated.

"That is...well if you'd like to be." she looked at him over her lashes.

"I think you know the answer to that." John smiled.

"I hope I do."

He rubbed her thigh quickly before putting it back on the wheel. After about a good half hour of driving John finally pulled over at a spot across the street from Rockefeller Center.

John got out and quickly ran to the other side of the car to let Jodi out. She accepted his hand gratefully and pecked him on the lips as a thankyou before he closed the door.

He put his arm around her waist embracing the feeling that he owned her. She was his now.

As they walked down the dark-lit and glossy stairs to the food level. They stopped in a Chinese resturaunt and picked something up before making a u-turn to the dining area. Jodi stopped him in front of the Godiva store.

As they sat together exchanging glances between the ice skaters in the rink outside and each other Jodi thought of something. They'd talked quite a lot about each others childhoods but Jodi had never asked about his parents. He had never said anything about them which led her to believe they were either dead or didn't get along.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked cautiously.

"Of course."

"Where are your parents?"

He stopped in the middle of brining his fork to his mouth and looked at her. Where was this coming from?

"Well, my dad comitted suicide, and my mother died of cancer."

"Oh god I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" she gasped attempting to suck the words back in if possible.

"It's fine. I should've told you awhile ago."

Jodi couldn't bring herself to say anything else to him after she fucked up that bad. John could see the look on her face. Many victims had it, when they thought it was all their fault.

She stood up to discard her empty container and dug a piece of gum from her pocket then offered one to John. She didn't meet his eyes in the exchange or any other time for that matter.

"Jodi..." he began putting a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him through her glassy doe eyes refusing to answer verbally.

"Let's talk somewhere more private." he suggested. He grabbed her hand and led her around looking for an empty hallway in the massive building. A bathroom was just at the end and the rest was completely deserted.

"Jodi I think we need to try and establish a level where we can tell each other almost everything if you want this to work."

She nodded then apologized.

"Don't apologize." John commanded before kissing her reassuringly. In a matter of seconds the kiss escalted with the sexual frustration and tension they had been feeling all day flowing forth. John began to slide his hand up her skirt before she stopped him.

"We're in a _hallyway_." she reminded him breathlessly.

He looked around. All down the hall were little shops with the exception of the bathroom a few feet from them. He looked at it then raised his eyebrows.

"The bathroom?" Jodi raised an eyebrow.

John grabbed her arm and almost dragged her to the restroom. In all his 57 years he had never had sex in a bathroom. There was still a first time for everything.

The place was completely empty to his surprise. He grabbed a bench and jammed it in front of the door to prevent anyone from getting in the pushed Jodi into one of the stalls. He hiked up her skit and yanked her underwear off before going for his belt. Jodi pulled off her sweatshirt revealing an extremely thin tank top underneath.

John grabbed her legs and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist eagerly, waiting for him. He pulled down his boxers then quickly guided himself into her, already used to the feel of her. The more he slept with her, the more and more her passage seemed to curve directly around the shape of his manhood.

As he thrusted into her he grabbed at her tank top pulling it down beneath her breasts before reaching around to unhook her bra.

The decorated fabric fell to the gorund and he took one of her breasts in his mouth, gently running his tongue over her hard nipple. She arched her back, grabbing a handful of his white hair.

Her moans got louder and she tightened her grip around him. He could feel her walls pulsate around him as he moved in and out. A light sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead as she dug her nails into his shoulders.

"Harder." she begged in his ear.

The word drove him futher as he pounded into her, making her scream in pleasure before she finally tensed around him. He shuddered inside of her seconds later before resting his head on her shoulder. They both stayed there for a few moments composing themselves before departing. John moved the heavy bench aside and opened the door.

A tall woman exhbiting copious amounts of plastic surgery stood with her hands on her hips, glaring.

"Sorry, got lost in there for a minute." John smirked before putting his arm around Jodi and leading her out. She giggled as the walked out leaving the plastic surgery Barbie behind.

****************

John rolled over panting. He was surprised that his heart hadn't just given in yet while he was sleeping with Jodi. She entwined her fingers in his and grinned.

John's phone vibrated on the nightstand next to his bed. He sighed and answered it.

"Hello?"

There was no answeing on the other side of the line.

"Hello?!" John said again.

"Hi John." rasped a gritty voice.

"Who the hell is this?" John sat up, warning bells going off in his mind. Jodi sat up next to him and wrapped her arms around his stomach to let him know she was there.

"I think you know who this is. How's my baby girl Jodi? I know she's with you right now."

John froze. No. It couldn't be. He turned his head and glanced involuntarily. She furrowed her brow and mouthed "what's wrong?". John turned around ignoring her before slowly taking her arms from around him and standing up. He had to get this conversation out of earshot of her.

"Would've thought you guys would catch me by now. It's only been a few weeks. I'll be coming back for Jodi soon."

"Listen you sick bastard, once I get my fucking hands on you I swear I'll-!"

"Language Detective! I said soon, that doesn't mean tomorrow. No I've still got work to do. Which leads me to my next point. I want to play a little savenger hunt. Go to Central Park tomorrow, take the path that leads from Strawberry Fields. There'll be a little surprise for you...my newest 'indiscretion'. I'll be talking to you soon."

"YOU!-" he barely got the word out before the perp hung up the phone. He immediatly called back but got no answer.

"Is everything okay?"

John whirled around. Jodi's soft voice caressed him in waves of concern. Her head was tilted to the side and her eyes full of curiosity.

"Um...no not really. Go get dressed I'll be in there in a minute I need to make a phone call."

Jodi stood for a moment before doing as told without any questions. John admired her doing as told without any questions. He quickly dialed Fin's number and silently begged for him to pick up.

"Hello?" FIn answered sounding fully awake even though it was three in the morning...the again, so was John.

"Fin it's me. I need you to call everyone and get down to precinct as fast as possible."

"Why what happened?"

"I'll explain later just do it!" he commanded harshly before hanging up.

Fin looked at his phone in disbelief. Either John was losing his mind or something big had really just happened.

When John walked back into his room Jodi was fully dressed in the clothes they had picked up from her place on the way back to his.

John pulled on his own clothes then grabbed his keys and glasses from his dresser. He paused a moment before putting on his holster and grabbing his gun as well.

"Let's go." he grabbed Jodi's arm and led her protectivley to his car. When they got outside he looked around for anything unusual. How the hell had the guy known they were together? He had to have followed them at some point and time. And how had he even gotten the number.

The got in the car and Jodi looked over. His hands were shaking although his grip on the wheel was relentless. He put the car in drive and pulled out, his thin lips pressed tightly together.

"Honey what's going on?" Jodi asked as they hit the road.

"Okay, first before I tell you have you noticed anyone following you lately or anything out of the ordinary?"

"Uh...no. I would have said something right away, and I'm a really obsevent person."

"Okay. Well the guy that called me just now...I'm pretty sure was the bastard who raped you."

Jodi froze, her face clouded in a mixture of terror and disbelief.

"What?"

"He knew where you were, that you were with me, and...I think he may have just given us a clue to find the next body."

"Oh god. Oh god. I knew this was my fault! I knew I should've paid attention to _something_ while he was raping me. This is all my fault." tears began to prick her eyes as she began to hypervenilate.

"Jodi calm down. This isn't your fault at all. You couldn't have changed the circumstances. No one else can find DNA on him period."

"I could've scratched him, bitten him, done something to get skin cells. I just...I'm so fucking stupid. All these girls are dead because of me."

"JODI!" John exclaimed. Besides the fact that she was blaming herself for something out of her control, he was afraid she might make herself go into some kind of arrest from the way her face was turning bright red and she was panting.

Suddenly he regretted everything he had hidden from her, because now was the time to tell her.

"Jodi there's something else..."

She met him with fearful eyes thinking she had caused something else to go wrong.

"Okay...some of the bodies that have been turning up came with messages. Like the one we got in your apartment the one time. He's also been sending you letters that we've intercepted and basically...Jodi....he's still after you. I should've told you before I don't know why I didn't."

"He's...after me?"

"I'm sorry I know I should've told you before."

"...So...he's going to try and kill me?"

"Nothing's going to happen to you Jodi. I guarentee you that. I won't let anything happen to you."

She only shook her head and wrung her hands miserably.

"I need to talk about this with everyone when we get down there so I'll tell George...Dr. Huang...to keep you company."

Jodi replied by sniffling as tremors began to rack her body. John grabbed her hand tightly before accelerating the car. There was just no fucking way he'd let anyone or anything harm her. After four worthless marriages he was sure he might have just found the perfect woman and he wasn't going to throw that to a killer.

**********

Jodi sat at the table in Interview Room 1 writing a long letter to her father. She was completely worn out after the previous events of the night and her long chat with Dr. Huang as soon as she and John arrived at the precinct. She was fairly certain he had been asessing her at the time too.

She had figured the trip to see her father tomorrow would be postponed and decided to write a letter while she was waiting away from all the commotion in the squad room.

John walked in the room at that moment. George watched Jodi's evidently-frightened body relax a bit as he neared her. She gave a small smile that he returned before looking at George.

"I'll leave you two alone." he nodded and left the room.

"How are you feeling?" John asked softly as soon as the door closed.

"Fine." Jodi shrugged indifferently. George watched covertly from behind the one-sided mirror.

"What is that?" John nodded at the sheet of paper spread in front of her, almost all already filled.

"A letter to my dad. I'm already guessing tomorrow won't be a good time for us." Jodi attempted a smile.

"Probably won't." John replied. He put his hands on her shoulders before getting down on one knee and putting his arms around her waist.

She looked down at him and stopped writing. The true concern on his face stirred something within her and she felt tears prick her eyes.

"What's wrong?!" John exclaimed.

"Aside from this whole thing? Well...you just seem like you care alot about this. Most people don't treat me like that."

"That's because I do care alot about you." he replied simply and rested his head in her lap.

She stroked his head gently before leaning over and kissing the top. Her emotions ran deep and swift inside her and in that moment a single thought went through her mind. Did she love him? She brushed the internal question aside and focused on his warm hand, gently rubbing her thigh.

He stood up quickly and got a chair and pulled it over.

"You okay?" Jodi asked.

"Yeah, bad knee." he replied wincing and sat down next to her before putting an arm around her and pulling her over.

She rested her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, tracing the thin blue lines on his shirt. He held her silently for a few minutes, resting his face in her fruit-scented hair. She closed her eyes becoming completely relaxed in his arms and letting everything else melt away.

As George watched he pursed his lips. The two evidently cared for each other and an established relationship was obvious. He could tell that Jodi was putting her faith in John with this case and that he in turn put faith in Jodi that she might be the one for him. He'd never actually analyzed John but from the small conversations they had he gathered that John still had faith in true love and could see that he held some hope that Jodi might be the one.

George heard footsteps echoes behind him and turned around as Fin walked into the room.

"What the hell is that?" he nodded at the two, snuggling obliviously.

George snicked then looked at Fin. "What's going on?" he asked.

"We traced the phone call to a cell at a shop on Canal Street. Olivia and Elliot just headed out to see what they could find and I came back to get John."

George nodded and knocked loudly on the window. The two broke apart and John stood up. Fin walked in the room and threw a set of car keys at John. He caught them quickly and looked up quizzically.

"Traced the cell phone call. We're moving out."

John looked over at Jodi then sighed and stood up. She got up behind him and grasped his hand. He turned to her not caring who saw at the point and put his hands around her face.

"I'll be back. You stay here with Huang. I'll call you and let you know what's going on." he whispered.

"Okay." she nodded solemly and wrapped her arms around his thin waist.

He kissed her on the forehead then breathed for a moment before uttering the words.

"I love you." he whispered directly in her ear.

Her breathing froze and she looked into his brown eyes, the words repeating on a loop in her head.

"I love you too." she replied before leaning in and kissing him as if it were the last time.

He pulled her into a hug as soon as their lips broke apart and held her for a moment before pulling away. She gave him a small smile and let him go. He left the room ignoring Fin and Huang's obvious stares and walked to his desk to grab his things.

"Let's hit this." he grinned to Fin before descending down the steps far too happy for what he was about to go into.


	13. First Prize

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. I'm at a total loss for the date in this story so I'll just wing it.**

**First Prize  
**

Jodi watched out the window as John drove away feeling like an army wife who's husband had just been deployed. The last few minutes replayed in her mind on a constant loop. John had told her he loved her! It had been so unexpected and surreal at first she was unsure how to respond. Still unsure of how she felt about him, but she went out on a limb and replied the same. Even if she didn't love him yet, she was getting pretty close to it.

She walked back to the squad room and sat down at his desk happily.

"Was he the first?" Dr. Huang came up behind her and sat down on his desk in front of her.

"First for...?"

"To use the l word with you?"

"Um...no but now I'm kind of hoping he'll be the last." she smiled and blushed. She sounded like such a silly girl with silly hopes but they wracked and tormented her brain over and over. What if he really was the one?

"Does the age difference ever bother you when you think about it?"

"No not really. I've always been a firm believer that age is nothing but a number."

"That's convenient."

"That's what I've always gone by. I've been with older guys than John."

"How old?"

"72 took the record I think."

"You know most of the time girls pursue older men it's because-"

"-They lacked a stable father figure." she finished and grinned. "I was studying up to be a psychiatrist."

"Was? What happened?"

"Dropped out. As you know I've had alot on my plate right now."

George nodded and mused. He could see why John was interested in her. She was an extremely intriguing girl with so many layers. She probably appealed to him in every fantasy he had, giving him the personas of the independant woman, the needy one, the rebellious one, and many more all rolled into one singular female.

Jodi sat in her chair anxiously. All she wanted was for John to get back. After what he had told her in the interview room she planned on blowing his mind when they got back to his place.

She's give him a night to remember.

************

"So what the hell was that back there?" Fin asked John. They had ridden that past ten minutes in awkward silence, although both knew what the other was thinking.

"And to what are you referring?" John asked coyly.

"How about...'I love you Jodi'? I know you can be a little crazy sometimes man but what the hell is going on?"

"She's just...she's-"

"An active case." Fin interrupted.

"I just..." John was at a loss for words. Luckily, the moment they turned the corner they were greeted with a a dozen police cars. Fin turned off the car and dropped the subject immediately, preparing for what was yet to come. The prospect of catching the rapist who'd brutalized more than a dozen girls.

John pulled out his gun and stepped out the car. Elliot and Olivia were a few feet away, guns drawn as well standing at the front door of the shop. John ran up meet them, feeling the electricity and anxiety of catching a predator in the air.

He Fin, Elliot, and Olivia lined up in front of the door. Elliot cautiously turned the knob. It opened creakily and the air became still as all fifteen police officers on the steps and on the street inhaled.

"Police!" Olivia yelled as they entered the dark building. It was almost pitch black until they heard a clatter coming from the floor below them. They all looked at each other before bolting for the staircase leading to the basement.

"SURPRISE!" yelled a voice with a heavy Irish accent.

"Turn around slowly, with your hands in the air!" Elliot demanded.

The man did as told and faced them with a huge grin on his face, as though he had just won a prize.

"Good to finally see you." he chuckled.

John saw Elliot twitch out of the corner of his eye as he fought to maintain his composure until they at least got into the interrogation room.

"Well, for pete's sake aren't you gonna get ova here and cuff meh?" he extended his arms.

They all stood still for a moment as if waiting for something to blow up before Olivia walked over and gripped his hands behind his back.

"You under arrest for the rape and murder of-"

In an instant he wrenched his hands from her grasp and knocked her gun out of her hand. She grabbed his arm and in a quick motion he pulled back the hammer and fired a shot.

The sound of the shot rang loudly throughout the dim room and Olivia shrieked as the bullet clipped her shoulder. John jumped in to tackle him and saw in slow-motion as the shiny metal object flew right in the path of his arm. It pierced through his skin lodging in the muscle. As the blood rushed from the wound he fell to the ground already feeling faint.

Elliot grabbed the shooter by the legs, tackling him down to the ground. There was a struggle before the gun was picked up again and fired several more times. As John heard Elliot hit the ground his vision clouded. He knew there was no way he'd go at the moment from a shot to the arm but still worried about Jodi. She was the only thing on his mind before he blacked out.

Fin cuffed the shooter gruffly, being the last one standing. The rest of the officers flooded in to take care of his fallen colleagues. He fought back the insane emotions in his head as he walked past the people he'd worked with for the past few years. It was a horrific repeat of that scene in the courtroom a few years ago but he knew they'd be alright.

*************

When Dr. Huang's phone rang Jodi was grateful for him to be distracted. Between the monotone questions and the staring she was becoming freaked out.

As he answered, he glanced at Jodi before walking to the other side of the room. Jodi distracted herself. She didn't want to accidentally overhear his conversation when he evidently didn't want it to be heard.

She went back to her work at rearranging John's desk. The clutter and disorganization had bothered her so much she had just started moving things around. As she sifted she found a picture of John. He was laughing with his arm around a beautiful blond woman with blue eyes and a persona of innocence. There was a small mole underneath her puffy pink lips. Her hair was evidently died because the smallest hint of red roots showed through. Jodi stared at the picture intrigued. Who was she? In the background were Detectives Stabler and Benson engaged in a close conversation with one another.

Jodi quietly dropped the picture in her purse and checked to make sure Dr. Huang wasn't looking. Just as she turned her attention back to the desk he walked over to her.

She looked up at him and was taken aback. His face displayed...something indescribable.

"Is something wrong?" she asked concerned.

"Yes..there was a shooting. John, Elliot, and Olivia are in the hospital."

***************

**Lenox Hill Hospital**

**111 E. 77th Street**

**November 9th**

Jodi threw open the door to John's room. Olivia was already in there along with some tall blond woman Jodi had never seen and Detective Tutuola.

She stood there frozen unsure of what to do. All she wanted was to go run up and kiss John and make sure he was okay but she was unsure with all the other detectives in the room.

He was sitting up in his bed, his arm bandaged and in a sling. His glasses were off and he stopped mid-sentence as several pairs of eyes turned towards her.

There was a complete silence in the room before John finally broke it.

"Well how long are you going to stand there?!" he demanded.

Ignoring everyone else in the room she bolted to his side and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

"I was so worried!" she exclaimed. He kissed her back eagerly before grunting as she accidentally pressed his wounded arm.

"Sorry." she whispered.

"No." he muttered grabbing her face with his good hand and bringing her lips back to his.

The rest of the room stared in silence. "I think you better go." Olivia cleared her throat.

They all glanced at each other and Jodi looked up, a light sheen of pink spreading through her face.

They all gave John goodbye waves before closing the door resolutely.

As soon as the door closed John grabbed Jodi and kissed her again.

"You alright?" he asked, their foreheads together.

"Yeah I was just scared. On the way over here Dr. Huang just said you were shot. He didn't tell me where until we got here and I was about to bolt through the entire hospital."

"Well, I'm fine. I should be out in two days, they just want to monitor for infection. After that I'll probably be on desk though or else just doing door to doors."

"Well...as long as your okay." Jodi smiled then pulled a chair up to his bedside.

"Well this is no big deal for me. Not like I've never been shot before."

"You were shot before?"

"Yeah. By a teenage boy as a matter of fact. We had just concluded the trial of three kids shot on a playground. Shooter was a white supremacist working for the dad of one of the victims trying to make insurance money off his kids death. Right after the shooter was convicted the kid stands up, grabs a gun, and shoots up half the courtroom."

"Jesus! And you were shot?"

"Yeah. Men, Liv, Elliot, and the judge."

"What happened to the kid?"

"FBI agent shot him."

"Where'd you get shot."

"In the ass."

He said it so seriously that Jodi couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, but that's funny." she grinned.

"Yeah I know, but it's not that funny when you can't sit for weeks."

"You have my deepest sympathy." she fluttered her lashes.

John chuckled then cupped her face with his free hand.

At that moment the nurse walked in.

"Visiting hours have been over for...awhile." she announced.

"He's my boyfriend." Jodi replied grasping his hand.

"Oh. Well...alright I guess. Just...don't do anything disturbing in here, and keep in mind he needs his rest." she deadpanned before slamming the door behind her.

Jodi yawned loudly and sat back in her seat, exhausted.

"Tired?" John asked.

"Very." she nodded. It was already three in the morning and she was falling asleep involuntarily. "But I want to stay up with you."

"Don't bother. I'm on so many pain meds I'm about to go any minute."

Jodi nodded. His thin body only took up about half of the bed so she stood up.

"Move over." she commanded.

He looked at her in confusion, but used his legs to scoot back against the bar. Jodi took off her shoes and climbed up on the bed next to him. It creaked in protest but she ignored it and wrapped her arms around him. He put his free arm around her and kissed her forehead. It was the first night they had slept together and not had sex, but it still felt right. It was comfortable.

She closed her eyes she fell asleep against him, tightening her grip around his body as if he would slip out of her grip. She silently thanked God that he was safe and in her arms. She heard his breathing slow down underneath him until it turned to spaced deep breaths, Jodi finally closed her eyes and let sleep take her.

*************

"Excuse me."

Jodi's eyes flew open as the harsh voice jolted her from her peaceful sleep.

As she opened them she was greeted with the slightly-wrinkled face of a nurse.

"Would you mind getting out of my patient's bed?" she asked rudely, her lip curling.

"Sorry." Jodi muttered and groggily hopped down from the bed. John stirred as she shifted to the ground and opened his eyes slowly.

"Do it again, and your both out. I don't care if he's a cop or if he's a bum. No one is above hospital regulations."

Jodi pursed her lips instead of saying anything. The nurse set down the tray she was carrying with John's pain meds and gave him a breakfast menu.

There was a knock at the door and Jodi turned around to see Detective Benson.

"Morning Ms. Stanford." she smiled brandishing two grande cups of Starbucks coffee.

Jodi walked back to the door and smiled at the detective.

"Just Jodi please. Coming to visit?"

"Um, kind of. I wanted to talk to you as well."

"Oh alright. Um...in here?"

"Let's talk outside."

Jodi stepped outside with her yawning as her body begged for more sleep.

"I got this for you." Olivia handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks so much. So, what did you want to?..."

"Well first off, how's John doing?"

"He seemed fine through the night."

"That's good. Jodi, I wanted to talk to you about John."

"Okay?"

"Jodi, you do realize that you could cost him his job."

"...Y-yes." she stammered. The thought had crossed her mind several times before and she and John had talked about it but he didn't seem to care. He was on his way to retiring within a few years anyway.

"Just thought you should know. He seems to really like you."

"Well, I really like him."

"I've worked with him. eleven years. Never seen him this happy."

Jodi took a sip from her coffee. Vanilla. Her favorite flavor.

"Well I've got to get back. We've got a suspect on your case in lockup."

"Really?! Who?" Jodi became excited. After weeks of nothing there was finally some hope of knowing who her rapist was.

"Irishman. Name of Andrew McInthey. Gave himself right up on the scene. He was the one that called John."

"That's great. You'll let me know how it goes, right?!"

"Of course. I'll give you a call."

Jodi smiled and turned back to John. She smiled and brushed past the annoying nurse back to John's room. He was fully drugged and smiled as she went back to his bedside.

***********

"So tell me something Andrew, do you like going to the strip club?" Olivia asked.

"Love it. And call me Andy." he smirked.

"Okay Andy. Got a girlfriend?"

"Nope. Can't stand the commitment."

"Ah. So that leads you to rape women."

He laughed heartily before sitting forward in his seat and folding his hands.

"Sorry to disappoint you Detective but I've raped nobody."

"Really?!" Fin exclaimed stepping in. "Nobody. So it just happens to be a coincidence that we tracked a phone call made to Detective Munch giving the whereabouts of another girls body back to you?"

"Nope, no coincidence."

"Then why the hell did you just blatantly lie to my face!?" Olivia screamed.

"It was me phone ya found, but I wasn't the one who raped those girls."

"Really?! Then who was?!"

"I'm not at liberty to tell you that little tidbit of information."

"Well you better get at liberty because your looking at the needle."

"Well see here's the thing here Detective. I know for a fact you've got no DNA. You've got one witness, who can't identify her attackah, and...well tha's it. I'm not lookin' at anything. Especially considerin' the facts that I'm not the rapist here."

Olivia sighed knowing he was right, the fact that he persisted he wasn't the rapist though pissed her off.

"You didn't rape them. So did you kill them?"

"Nope. Didn't do that either. Me myself was in charge of simply picking the women out. I'd go to the clubs. Fine someone who looked like he'd like and I'd tell 'im."

"You do realize your an accessory to murder."

"Yep I do. Good luck provin' it though. And now...I want me lawyer."

He sat back smiling smugly. Olivia walked out and slammed the door behind her. Alex was watching through the window.

"Alex, please tell me he's not right."

"He was until he went and confessed the whole thing. Find out who his friend is, and I'll have a search going faster than the bastard and blink."

************

Jodi smiled as she pulled up to John's apartment. After two agonizing days he was finally let go from the hospital. She convinced him to let her get her car from storage due to the fact that he know had one arm. The jet black Camero had sat lonely and isolated since she had moved to the city and had only seen daylight on a few occasions. The moment she slipped into the leather seats she almost melted with glee.

They got out and she hit the alarm before stopping on the stairs to John's building.

"Keys." she held her hand out.

"I think I can manage to open the door for myself." John snapped. The truth was he'd barely been able to do anything having been shot in his dominant hand and Jodi had done almost everything for him, but he wasn't going to just step down and let her without a fight.

He dug out his keys and attempted to find the right one with his weaker hand. He kept fumbling before dropping them.

"Damn!" he swore and hit the door. All day he had been irritated and snapped at Jodi about everything but she didn't say anything about it. He could see in her face that she was bothered but she wanted to respect his privacy.

She picked up the keys and opened the door for him before walking in. He followed, looking around his messy apartment. Jodi collapsed in a ragged chair and threw her legs over the side. The only sleep she had gotten had been cramped in a small chair next to John's bed which wasn't very comfortable. She needed sleep. Bad.

"Why don't you head up and get some sleep in." John suggested.

She didn't argue and laid there for a moment before pushing herself out of the chair and dragging herself up to his bedroom. The moment she hit the bed she fell asleep. John pulled the covers over her. She'd done nothing but take care of him. She'd even given him his pain meds after convincing the nurse she wouldn't kill him.

John's phone rang in his pocket and he fished it out.

"Munch." he answered.

"John?! It's Casey!"

"Casey?" John quickly ducked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah. It was just my arm, nothing serious. How've you been."

"Great. I'm actually going to be up in New York next week."

John felt something flutter through his body. He hadn't seen Casey since a few weeks after she was found in contempt. Whenever he thought about her his mind went back to those nights they spent together in the very bed Jodi was in, sweating vigorously.

"Really? For what?"

"I got offered a job at a new firm up there and I decided to take it."

"Wow. That's great."

"I was just thinking...maybe we could meet up for a drink or something."

"A drink?" John froze. What the hell would he say here? He was really falling in love with Jodi and it felt wrong going out to meet an old flame (if that's what he could even call her) for a drink.

"Something wrong?" Casey asked.

"What? Oh no. Um...a drink. Sure I guess." he mentally beat himself as he agreed.

"Great! I'll call you to make plans then once I get up there. See you then."

"Alright, bye Case."

He hung up feeling as the guild weighted down on him. He tried to justify in his mind that there was nothing wrong with meeting an old friend but it didn't help any.

His heart froze as he heard the unmistakable sound of her scream.

He sprinted back up to his bedroom and threw open the door half-expecting to see Andrew McInthey standing over her with a carving knife. Instead he found her somehow still asleep but screaming into the pillows wildly like someone was attacking her. He ran over and shook her awake quickly. She gasped as she opened her eyes and clamped her hand onto John's shoulder with a death grip. She looked around wildly before her eyes settled on John.

"Damn it." she swore embarrassed, her face flushing.

"You okay?" John asked putting his hand on her cheek.

"Yeah." she replied. "Just these stupid dreams."

He made a move to hug her but she climbed out of bed, disgusted with herself. She didn't want John to think she was some whiny and pathetic victim who needed to be taken care of. As a teenager she worked hard for her independence and she deserved it.

She went to te bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. There was no way she'd be able to get back to bed now. She'd only been asleep a couple minutes too and she doubted John had any good sleep drugs. She made a mental note to see her doctor and ask for a prescription.

She walked out of the bathroom and accidentally right into John. Before she could apologize he wrapped his arm around her. She was on the verge of tears but held them in as she buried her head in his chest.

As John held her he realized how much his body had been longing for her. It had only been two days. An eternity to them having sex multiple times a day.

He kissed her tentativly, unsure of how she'd react. She hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back. The truth was she had missed him even more but hadn't wanted to push him into doing anything that might cause him pain or force exertion on his arm.

"I've missed you." he murmured in her ear.

"Me too." she replied trailing her hands uo his chest. She felt him shudder underneath her and he pulled her closer. Suddenly, urgency and need were all that mattered.

He grabbed her hand and led her back to his bedroom and pushed her gently back onto the bed. He began planting small kissed on her face and neck, everywhere except her mouth. She fought back, diving for his mouth everytime it was near before succumbing to his teasing. She pushed him off then quickly stood and undressed. John watched as she removed each piece of clothing, keeping her eyes locked on his. She ran her hand over her breasts, her nipples erect. The now-familiar flush that crept through her body whenever she got turned on spread through her face. John ripped the sling off, wanting to have full use of it. He brought her closer and pulled her back into the bed.

She began unbuttoning his shirt and slid it off with ease before going for his pants which were now uncomfortably tight. He stepped out of them then quickly dropped his boxers as well. He got back on top of her, his damaged arm shaking from the pressure. He ignored it, she was more important.

His lips traveled down her body before he grabbed her legs and spread them apart. Without giving any hint he slid his tongue into her. He wanted nothing more than to give her pleasure after everything she had done for him while he was in the hospital. Staying by his side the entire time.

He swirled his tongue around, making her writhe underneath him before sliding a finger inside of her.

Jodi gripped the sheets and moaned loudly as John continued teasing her, workng her up until her screams got louder then leaving her hanging.

"John." she criedly loudly. John gripped her thighs and held them down as she bucked wildly.

"Oh god I'm coming!" she screamed. He quickly pulled his tongue out and worked her over with his fingers, sliding them in and out of her quickly. Her ribs pushed against her skin as she tensed around him.

John wanted to be inside of her so bad and the slightly-painful throbbing in his penis reminded him of it, but he wanted to wait. She fell still underneath him, breathing loudly.

She lay there for a moment before pushing him on his back and climbed on top of him. She sighed as his throbbing manhood slid inside of her. John groaned as she placed her hands on his chest and pushed slowly. He put his hands on her hips and moved them a bit faster. Jodi bit her lip in an effort to control her screams as she rode him. She dug her nails into his chest and took John's hands from her waist and placed them on her breasts. He touched her erect nipples tenderly, squeezing them.

With every thrust he hit her cervix. Never had anyone gotten so far up before and it was strange and the tiniest bit painful, like she was losing her virginity all over again but it felt good at the same time. Jodi's toes curled and she threw back her head, her body slick with sweat. Only moments later she scraped at John's chest as she reached her climax once again.

Seconds later John dug his nails into her waist as he shuddered and released himself inside of her. She fell next to him happily, closing her eyes. As she curled up next to him, everything seemed to finally be going right, and that scared John more than anything else because nothing ever just went right with this job. Something bad was going to happen. Soon.


	14. Hopeless

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. So I just went back and re-read my chapters for the first time and it seems a bit...I don't know, unstable. I'll try and tie everything together I forgot about here. I just love all the smutiness in this story. I can't stop writing it.**** I was thinking...I really want to do a chapter in first person so I might do one or two from John and Jodi's points of view. Possibly one from Fin later on.**

**Hopeless**

"Alex please tell me we can hold him." Olivia slammed the door behind her in frustration. After a hard chat with McInthey's lawyer she was ready to pull an Elliot and throw him against the wall by his neck.

"He's right. We have no evidence against him whatsoever."

"We've got the fact that he's been tracking her. Can't we at least arrest him for stalking?"

"It's a huge stretch but...if you arrest him I think this may be enough to get a warrant and search his home."

"Okay." Olivia nodded and went back in. She made eye contact with Elliot for a moment before pulling out her cuffs.

"Mr. McInthey your under arrest for stalking and conspiracy to commit murder." she grinned as she handcuffed his hands behind his back.

"Now wait a second!" his lawyer snapped standing up. "These conspiracy charges are completely bogus and stalking in a stretch."

"Mr. Wagner that's for a jury to decide."

"Huh. That's funny, because all I see here is a desperate attempt to hold my client without any evidence."

"You client assisted in the murders of over a dozen women."

"And what's your proof?"

"You'll know soon enough." Olivia grabbed Andrew by the collar and pushed him out of the room. Andrew chuckled and Olivia tightened her grip so that he cringed with pain.

"Did that hurt. That won't be the worst pain you feel in prison."

"You know lass, I'll come clean with ya. I've done people's dirty work fah years. I killed dozens back home in Ireland, and I came here to settle down. Whether you throw meh in prison or not, I'll survive. Prison will beh nothing compared to woot I've seen and done."

Olivia knew deep down inside he was right. He wanted to be caught. Being arrested only made him feel as though he was in charge. He was determining the destiny of his fait. She also felt the familiar pang of a mental-defect defense coming on.

She pushed him in the pen and took the cuffs odd then slammed the door shut. He went right to the bench and sat down with his legs crossed, like he'd be leaving any minute.

"What now?" Elliot asked.

"Now...we go to the bastards home and hope to God we find something to use as evidence."

***************

"Everything alright?" John asked Jodi. She was pacing the room irritably.

"What! Yeah!" she exclaimed jumping up as though thrown from a daze.

"Um..." John trailed off. She'd been acting more distant then...well e couldn't think of anything more distant. She'd barely said more than a few words to him.

"I'm fine I'd just...I dunno might feel better if we get out of here."

"Okay..where do you want to go?"

"Just...out somewhere."

He thought for a moment before sparking an idea. "How about we go see your dad." he suggested.

She looked up at him. "Alright." she nodded.

******************

**Home of Andrew McInthey**

**New York, New York**

**Saturday, November 12th**

*******************

"Find anything?" Elliot asked Olivia as they combed the small apartment.

"Yeah actually. A telescope and pair of binoculars in the bedroom. Both an expensive brand, really powerful. What about you?"

"Um, tons of porn and other than that...nothing. There was something odd though."

"What's that?"

"You'd think if he was stalking her he'd have pictures of her everywhere."

"True...unless he's innocent."

"I highly doubt that Liv he gave himself right up. Why would he do that if he was innocent?"

"Um, I dunno. Maybe he wants credit?" Grows up with all older or more accomplished siblings, gets tired of never having anything and decides to try and take the credit for killing these girls."

"But then why would he go an deny it?"

"Didn't think it through. He wants fame and notoriety, not the death penalty."

"So? What do we do?"

"Call Huang."

* * *

"I think he really liked you." Jodi grinned as John drove down the winding road towards the docks. After visiting her father a few hours ago John had went off to make a mysterious phone call then returned and refused to tell Jodi where they were going.

"Well I'd hope. He looked about ready to rip someone apart."

Jodi laughed loudly. "He has that look a lot, but he's probably the most harmless guy on earth. I don't really think he was happy about the fact that you were older than him though."

"What parent would be?"

"So when will you tell me where we're going?"

"You'll see soon." he grinned then began to slow down.

He brought the car to a stop then turned to Jodi.

"Close your eyes." he demanded.

She sighed and obeyed. She felt the car move around her for a few more moments before it came to a complete stop. She felt John's soft hands around her as he tied a blindfold around her eyes.

"C'mon!" Jodi cried.

"I don't want you looking!" he laughed then got out and came over to her side and pulled her out.

She held on to him as he led her for what seemed an eternity. The sound of footsteps gave her hope.

"Detective your here! Right this way..."

Jodi sighed hopelessly and let them lead her wherever. After twenty minutes of blindly walking John took her hands and placed them on a set of metal railing, then removed the blindfold.

"You can open them now." he commanded, a hint of amusement in his voice. Jodi opened them slowly, then gasped. In front of her stretched across for miles was the lit-up New York City skyline. Some of the trees were already laced with Christmas lights in preparation for the holidays.

"Jesus." she breathed. Snowflakes fell around them and the cold winter air stung her face, but she was breathless from the beauty in front of her. The surface beneath them suddenly jerked and she looked down. The yacht lurched as it began to move away from the docks.

"Wha-?" she asked breathlessly.

"I decided it would be a great idea to get on a yacht for the night. Called in a favor to a buddy and he lent it and his staff over."

"Ohmigod. John this is beautiful." she whispered, tears pricking her eyes.

"It's for you." he stepped closer, before kissing her soft lips. She threw her arms around him and he held her, pressing his lips into her red hair. She rested her head in his chest, feeling like she belonged in his arms. She shivered and John pulled her back.

"Are you cold?" he asked rubbing her arms over the flimsy cardigan she wore. Why the hell didn't she ever dress for the weather.

"No I'm fine." she insisted.

He ignored her and told off his bulky coat and slid it around her slender arms. She turned back to the railing, watching the illuminated city as the yacht moved slowly across the Atlantic.

He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his body against her. She entwined her delicate fingers around his worn ones and leaned back against him. Their bodies spoke silent paragraphs as they got lost in each other's touch.

"Excuse me sir." one of the workers interrupted.

They both looked over at him, still holding each other.

"I've been told to inform you that dinner is ready below deck when you're ready."

"Thanks." John nodded. He gave a semi-bow then dismissed himself.

"Hungry?" John asked.

She nodded and raised an eyebrow mischievously.

"I have an idea for dessert though." she smiled.

"What's that?" John grinned playing along.

"Me."

* * *

"Tell me Andrew, do you have any brothers or sisters?" Olivia threw down his file across the table and stuck her hands in her pockets, pacing the room.

"One younger sistah. Tha's it." he replied confused.

"Okay...so Andrew, I'll tell you know we found absolutely nothing in your apartment except binoculars and that telescope. You a bird-watcher?"

"Birds? Hell no. I hate the leetle bastards."

"You had a slew of bird magazines."

"Aye. Those were in case someone eva started asking questions about the telescope."

"Hm." she nodded then glanced at Elliot. He stepped outside to consult with Huang.

"He only has one sibling." Elliot stated.

"I know." George nodded. "Which can mean two things. Either he grew up in shadow with the younger sibling being treated better, or I was wrong altogether. Instead we may be looking for...he grew up as the alpha-dog until he willingly stepped down. After that he's been doing everyone else's bidding but he still feels like he's in that position of power because he's the one that gave it up in the first place. Try asking him about his high school years. As twisted as he is I highly doubt he was the one who raped and killed those women. The key is getting him to tell you who did."

"So how do I do that?" Elliot narrowed his eyebrows.

"....Flatter him. Butter him up, then move in for the strike."

Elliot nodded then went back into the room. He gave Olivia a glance that cut her off mid-sentence then turned towards Andrew.

"Let me guess...you were popular in high school right?" Elliot grinned.

"Guessed correctly. Why do you ask?"

"I just want to get to know you man. Had a lot of girlfriends?"

"You could say that....until I realized a few years later that I was a fan of the penis."

"You're gay?"

"Yep. Why, don't like us fags?"

"No I have nothing against you. Just comes as a shock to me. So, you've been scouting for this guy?"

"Scouting...I guess you can call it that. You know detective, I'm gettin' kind of thirsty."

Elliot sighed. It was going to be a long night.

***************

John uncorked a bottle of champagne and poured to glasses. After an extremely satisfying and quick dinner he and Jodi had disappeared into one of the many cabin's aboard the boat. He turned on the light inside, bathing the small bedroom in a partial warm glow and the other half in moonlight.

He handed Jodi a glass and grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers.

"This is wonderful." Jodi sighed, kissing John on the lips before taking a sip from her glass.

"Your welcome." John chuckled and kissed her back. She pulled away for a moment before reaching for the iPod plugged into a dock on the nightstand and searching through songs until the sounds of Michael Buble blared through.

She set the glass down then paused for a moment before slowly undressing.

"What are you doing?" John smiled.

"Take your clothes off." she commanded as she took off her final garments and tossed them on the ground haphazardly. John followed suit wondering what the hell exactly she was thinking. As soon as he dropped his boxers and wrapped her arms around him.

"Dance with me." she breathed and pressed her naked body against his.

He twitched for a moment under the blissful heat of her body before putting his own arms around her. He restrained himself from moving them anywhere else and rested his head in the nook between her neck and shoulder. She raised her hands and stroked the back of his neck. They swayed back and forth and John fought the urge to laugh as he thought. He usually laughed at people for talking about romantic stories or fantasies like this but deep down he wished it would happen. The words of Dr. Aubrey Jackson all those years ago when she nailed him directly stating that he still believed in true love and was devastated by the fact he hadn't found it yet. He wished she was here to see this.

As the song ended Jodi's hands roamed across his chest. He moved in to kiss her but she stopped him.

"I just want to...touch you." she replied. The usual sex-driven look she usually had whenever they were about to have sex was now replaced with one of loving and plain curiosity.

She pushed him back on the bed so that he was lying down and got in next to him, and began kissing him, starting with his lips and working her way down his body. She gently traced his chest, arms, legs. She planted her lips after each touch, leaving him breathless. He closed his eyes and forced himself not to touch her as she worked wonders with her fingers without even really trying.

He blocked everything out except the feel of her creamy fingertips until they touched somewhere that jerked him back to reality. As her fingers slowly traveled up the veins that stood out against his rock-hard manhood he moaned involuntarily. She moved back up to his lips then took one of his hands and placed it on her breast. He looked into her eyes deeply for a moment before throwing himself on top of her, arms wrapped around her and lips pressed against hers. She surrendered everything except the feel of his hands, traveling everywhere. He began kissing her body, much like she had done to him before only this time much quicker. As his lips and tongue traveled they hit the small tattoo on her inner thigh he had come to love. He kissed it gently, keeping his eyes locked on hers the whole time before working on the other leg.

He kept moving his lips upward until they brushed her sensitive spot then went back up to her stomach. He continued to kiss and touch her everywhere except the place she needed it most.

She grabbed his hand and moved it in between her satiny legs. He took the hint and began rubbing her gently. She whimpered under his blissful touch, yearning for him inside of her.

"I need you now." she whispered in his ear.

He looked into her green eyes, understanding the urgency. He slid his hardened member inside of her and began to push in and out and she wrapped her arms around his back. He moved slowly, savoring the feel of being inside of her.

Jodi buried her face in his shoulder, whimpering softly. He turned his head to reach her lips and kissed her. She opened her eyes, staring into his brown ones. John looked down into her green ones, sweat beading on her forhead and dampening her roots. Those green eyes...they spoke volumes to him and he found himself unable to look away from them. She moved her hips up slightly, urging him to go faster. He complied by pushing himself into her all the way and quickening his pace.

Her breath escaped as she took in all of him inside of her. She moaned loudly and broke their eye contact, her lids fluttering closed. She put her hands around his wiry biceps and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Each thrust made her moan louder and sweat dripped off his chest onto hers. He kissed her neck, softly biting at the hollow at its base.

"John." she moaned loudly and repeated over and over. He listened to her cries and moved even faster causing her to scream.

She tightened her legs around him before coming. He joined her seconds later, sharing her ecstasy.

He fell next her, both of them panting. She quickly turned over to rest her head on his chest. She listened to his beyond rapid heartbeat and looked at the moon outside.

As they began to fall into a light slumber the dreaded ringing of John's phone on the floor buried underneath clothes jerked them awake. He bent over her then stretched to grab his discarded pants off the floor.

"Munch." he answered casually.

"Hey man, where the hell are you?" Fin asked.

"Ah, I decided to take two days off. What's up?"

"We're letting McInthey go."

"What?! Why?!" he exclaimed sitting up. Jodi sat up as well, alarmed.

"Went through his apartment and found nothing but a telescope and set of binoculers."

"Well, shouldn't that be enough?"

"It should but he's got one of the best lawyers in New York who argues that he's a bird watcher. She's right too. We've got nothing on him."

"So you're letting the bastard walk?"

"We got no choice. The guy is good."

"Well...what about the DNA that was on that body a few weeks ago?"

"Lab report came back from Warner today. She had to run it dozens of times. That vic was a hooker. Warner said she found at least three different types of semen and hundreds of fingerprints."

"Well-" John sighed unable to go on an further. They had come so close.

"Don't worry about it man. We'll catch him." Fin attempted to assure him.

"Sure. Call me when you get something." he hung up irritably.

"You okay?" Jodi asked and rubbed his back soothingly.

"Yeah it's just...Mcnthey...they let him walk. Without a trial. I'm so sorry."

Jodi shrugged showing only a hint of disappointment. "It's okay. He wasn't my rapist."

"I know but...he would have led us to him."

"You don't know that. Don't worry about it, you guys will get him I know you will. Even if someone else does. I just want to make sure he's off the streets. This isn't even about me."

John glanced at her, basking in her understanding. She was patient, a virtue almost everyone in New York was lacking.

"Okay." he nodded then lay back down.

"I love you." she whispered as she pulled the covers over both of them.

"I love you too." John replied happily, meaning it, all hopeless feelings gone.


	15. Closer

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or **_**My Moon My Man**_** by Fiest. So, besides the sequel I mention earlier, I just got an idea for an entirely different story too when I'm done. Which only drives me to work on this one harder. Or I can work on them both at the same time.**

** Closer**

As John and Jodi sat on the deck of the ship, watching the sun rise over the flat expanse of sea John's phone rang again and he dreaded what news he might hear.

"John it's Elliot, we got another victim."

John sighed.

"She's alive." Elliot finished.

"What?!" John sat up in his seat. Jodi, who was in his lap almost fell over.

"Found her outside a strip club. Me and Liv are about to go meet her in a hospital."

"I'll meet you guys down there." John went on not thinking clearly.

"Not necessary. We'll definitely keep you posted. Try and be back by tomorrow or something though alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks Elliot." he hung up the phone.

"What's going on?" Jodi asked as John grinned happily.

"They picked up another victim...and this one is alive."

"So that means...she's might know who he is?"

"Possibly. Hopefully we can find something." John pulled her back towards his body.

"Mmm. So I take it you want to get back as soon as possible."

"Yeah. I'll tell them to turn this around. Sorry, we'll have to get back a little earlier than I planned."

"It's fine. My boss called asking me to work anyways and I told him I'd get back to him."

As soon as she mentioned her job John felt a pang go through his chest. The more he thought about it, the more it upset him. The fact that she flaunted that body. His body. To whatever horny pig was in the club. Sure she wasn't actually having sex with them, but the thought of them staring while she walked around the stage naked. The thought of other men staring at that body that he'd touched, kissed, fucked...it sent him over the edge.

"Jodi I don't like it." he blurted.

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"Your job." he continued, anger welling up inside.

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't like the thought of some creep seeing you and thinking about what he wants to do to you."

She sighed and sat up, then turned around to face him, crossing her legs underneath her body. She knew this issue would come up at some point and time but doubted it would be coming from John. It kind of made her happy inside that he was jealous and let her know he actually cared about her but at the same time, she loved dancing at the club. She'd come to love to girls she worked with. The downright crazy customer's she sometimes had fun entertaining. The ones at the bar she'd help talk to about issues in their love lives. It was something she loved, and she knew this was only the beginning. Eventually she would have to make a choice. John or the job.

"Let's make a deal." she offered.

"What can that possibly be?" John snapped.

"For now I'll tone it down, but I'm not just going to up and quit. My birthday is coming up soon in February, and depending on where we are by then I'll decide whether or not to quit."

"What does that mean?"

"You're the first guy I've ever actually considered giving up something I love for. If we're still together and it's looking good for us then...I will. I really don't want to blindly go and quit now not knowing if we'll still be together. Then I'll have just thrown everything away."

John nodded, half-understanding, half-furious.

"Hey...don't worry about it. Please." she put her hand on his cheek gently. His face flushed underneath her touch but he kissed the palm of her hand. She crawled over and put her arms around him, hoping to melt the anger away. After a few moments she felt his body slowly begin to relax underneath her touch and closed her eyes. The rays of red and purple shot across the sky layering the dark blue water beneath. Epic.

* * *

"Hi Michelle, I'm Olivia Benson. This is my partner Elliot Stabler. We're with the Special Victims Unit, and we deal with sex crimes. We need to ask you a few questions about your rape." Olivia greeted her newest victim.

She moaned. She was propped up miserably in a hospital bed looking much like Jodi had the night they had visited her with the exception that she wasn't joking. Her entire arm was also covered in a cast. Holding her other hand next to her was a petite woman with green hair cut in a layered bob.

"I know this is an extremely difficult time for you right now but we need to know everything about what happened tonight. Where you were, when it happened. Those kind of things. Can you do that for me?" Olivia prodded gently.

Michelle looked over at the woman with the green hair who squeezed her hand before nodding.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Elliot asked.

"I'm her girlfriend, Sara." she replied.

"Okay Sara. You're okay with this right?" Olivia asked.

"Of course. I just want you guys to catch the bastard. No matter what I have to do."

"Okay well Michelle, I'm going to need you to describe in detail what happened."

Michelle took a deep breath before opening her mouth. Her voice was raspy and broken but she was trying as best she could.

"Well, I was getting ready to go home. I left the club and walked down an alleyway to get to my apartment down on the next street over. Next thing I knew he grabbed me from behind. He said if I screamed he'd kill me. His voice was muffled, like something was covering it. After that he threw me on the ground and pulled up this fucking huge knife and started cutting my clothes off. He stopped for a moment to put on a condom and I tried to crawl out from under him but he was too heavy. He was using his hands though so my arms were free and I tried to rip off his mask. He stood up then stomped on my arm. The pain was so bad that I started to black out and when he...pushed himself inside of me it was even worse. After he was done her turned me over on my stomach and started cutting my back..then I knew. I knew he was that rapist that's been all over the news and I knew he was going to kill me so I made myself calm down. I slowed down the space between my breaths until I finally just held it and pretended I was dead. As soon as he realized I had stopped breathing he stopped. I heard him swear then he got off of me and started walking away. When I was sure his back was turned I opened my eyes a little enough to see a car pull up and him get in the passenger seat."

"A car?! What kind? Did you get a license plate?" Olivia asked quickly.

"No, I didn't see the license plate but I did see the car. It was black. Electric-blue stripe across the side. Really sporty. In fact, I've never seen one before. It was really wierd too. I remember wondering why someone would drive one when it was almost winter."

"Okay, black sports car with an electric-blue stripe. Is that all?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, thankyou Michelle you've been such a help. I'll be getting back to you once your out of the hospital probably."

Michelle nodded and Olivia turned to Elliot and they both walked out of the room.

"Car like that can't be hard to find." Elliot pursed his lips.

"That's for sure, which means one thing...someone else had to have seen it."

* * *

"Hello?" Jodi answered her phone as she waited tirelessly to go onstage.

"It's me."

She smiled as John's voice traveled through her phone.

"Hey baby. What's up?" she grinned to herself.

"Well...we got a decent lead for once."

"Oh?"

"I'll tell you when you get over here. When can you get down here?"

"Well I'm only doing one song tonight so probably 9:45?"

"Sounds good."

"Alrighty then."

"See you then..."he grinned and hung up the phone. The fact was he did love seeing her in those little outfits she wore for performances.

Jodi threw her phone on her dresser then quickly put her hair up. For that night's performance of _My Moon My Man _by Fiest she was clad in a tight white blouse tucked into a high-waisted pencil skirt. As she had promised John, she was going to keep her act toned down for that night, but for that night she had something planned for John. She couldn't find a way to thank him for taking her on that wonderful boat ride.

After their short spat was resolved John led her back down belowdeck where they spent the entire ride back to New York in bed. When Detective Tutuola arrived to pick him up and Dr. Huang to get her, she had to force herself not to drag him back onto the yacht and rip his clothes off. He gave her a long, conspicuous kiss before getting into the car with Fin and ignoring his questions.

"Miss Stanfrod your on in fifteen." a knock sounded through her door. She sighed before getting up and sliding into her heels. This would be an exciting night.

* * *

Jodi walked into the squad room fully confident. Right after her show she had made a quick trip to her dressing room to slip on something sexy underneath her outfit that she knew would drive John insane. Dr. Huang observed as she strode casually past all the cops, depsite the fact that every male eye in the room was focused on her.

John looked up to see what everyone was staring at only to find his eyes her. The outfit she wore clung to every single curve on her body, her hourglass figure accentuated perfectly.

She walked behind his desk and brushed his shoulder before dropping her purse beside his desk.

"Hey Jodi come here a minute." Elliot called from his desk a few feet away.

Jodi walked to his desk and bent over.

"I take it you're about to explain why I'm here?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yep that'd be it."

As she leaned over his desk Elliot couldn't help as his eyes strayed to her chest, which threatened to burst from the tight blouse she was wearing.

On the other end John's eyes immediately flew to her ass. He stared unintentionally as his body began to respond. He scooted more towards his desk trying to hide the way his pants were getting uncomfortably tight.

"So...do you remember a car the night you were attacked?" Elliot asked straining to keep his eyes on her face.

"Car?" her face changed as she thought intensely. Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Yeah! I do!" she replied excitedly before standing back up.

"What kind? Color? Anything?"

"Black. Blue stripe across the side...2009 Camero I'd like to say."

"How do you know that?"

"The engine. I've been wanting that car forever, and it had to be a Chevy. I remember it had a V-8 hemi. I know the sound anywhere because I put the same engine in my car. It's a classic hemi because Chevy hasn't even put out the new line. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw it because it was right before I blacked out. Sitting there at the mouth of the alley, waiting."

"How sure are you?"

"I'd bet my life on it."

"Okay. Liv, find out if that car is registered to anybody."

"I'm on it..." she replied as she automatically moved for her computer.

After a few moments she chuckled.

"So I've got a 2009 Chevy Camero here registered to our Irish friend. One of only two in Manhattan."

"McInthey?"

"Mmhmm." she nodded.

"Well let's pay him a visit." Elliot replied before grabbing his coat off his char and pulling it on. They both turned to John for the okay before leaving.

"Yeah...do that." John snapped out of the trance he had gotten caught in staring at Jodi's butt.

The both stared at him silently questioning his peculiar behavior. Olivia raised an eyebrow before turning and walking away. Elliot glanced between Jodi and John as comprehension dawned in his brain. He gave John a small grin, knowing what it was like to work around someone that sexy and have to keep sleeping with them a secret. He buttoned his coat before following Olivia down the stairs.

"What do we do?" Fin asked from the desk across.

"What?! Oh, look up this other guy and see if he's in the system." he said as he stood up. Jodi sat on Elliot's desk, smirking coyly.

"Come here." he whispered grabbing her hand not caring if or what Fin saw. He dug the key from his pocket and unlocked the door to Cragen's office before pushing her in and closing it quickly. There was no possible way he could physically resist her anymore. The blinds were already down and the room was pitch black except for the small rays of light coming in from outside. He flicked on the lightswitch before taking her in.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me do you?" he growled in her ear, overtaken by lust.

"Really?" she grinned as his tongue brushed her ear. His hands soon began to wander around her body, grabbing at her breasts and backside over the thin fabric. As he ran his hands roughly over her rough blouse he felt her nipples strain across the fabric.

He grabbed the bottom of her skirt and began to slide it up before she stopped him.

"I have something to show you. It was supposed to be a surprise for later tonight but...I guess you can't wait anymore."

She pushed him back and couple feet before reaching her hand back to unzip the zipper on her skirt. She dragged the tiny metal downward until she had just enough room to get the blouse off. As she unbuttoned it and threw it off John's eyes were drawn to the pink lace bra with dark trim and small bows running across. She then let the skirt drop and he froze. Underneath the outfit was the sexiest lingerie he had seen in his entire life. All the things his four wives had worn the nights of past honeymoons didn't even compare.

On the bottom was a matching garter belt and garter straps leading to thigh-high stockings. He stared at the belt and the lack of anything underneath. She wore no panties. No anything, and it was more of a turn-on to him than anything he'd ever seen.

She put her hands on her hips hoping her little outfit had worked. She'd never really gone far to impress a guy, and still wanted to thank him endlessly for taking her on the boat that morning.

"Like it?" she tilted her head to the side.

He didn't reply. He only walked towards her before grabbed her and picking her up. She dove for his mouth and wrapped her legs around his waist.

He fell back into the captain's chair and he let his lips wander down her neck. His hand traveled across her back before he grabbed the clasp of her bra and unhooked it. He grabbed the material off of her and threw it on the ground among the growing pile of clothes. His mouth immediately went to one of her breasts and he sucked her nipple roughly. She arched her back and moaned loudly as his tongue moved over the raised skin.

The moment he took his mouth off she stood up and quickly and got on her knees. She put her hands on his thighs, rubbing gently before unzipping his pants, then pulled down the waistband of his boxers, revealing him to be rock-hard and fully erect.

She silently ran her tongue over his slit, hearing him moan loudly. She took a moment before lowering her mouth onto him completely. He put his hand on her head, pushing it down forcefully as her warm mouth slid up and down him. She gripped his thighs for a moment before putting him in her mouth completely.

She moved back up, meeting him with her eyes. He slowly began to thrust into her warm mouth. Unable to suppress her need anymore she rubbed herself, moaning as she pleasured both of them at the same time.

He threw his head back, groaning louder than she usually did when they were in bed.

"Jodi..." he moaned. He grabbed her head and pulled her up with all his strength before throwing her on Cragen's desk and grabbing her legs. He opened them roughly before quickly sliding his fingers inside of her.

A wild gasp escaped her lips as he moved them in and out of her quickly. With his other hand he played with her with such ferocity her moans turned into loud screams.

She looked down at him panting like she was in labor. As he met her eyes he watched her face turn completely red as he was on his way to giving her the best orgasm she had ever experienced.

Earlier that day after going around with Fin asking questions about the mystery car, he called up the only guy he could think of who would know what to tell him. Brian Cassidy.

_****************_

_They still talked every few weeks since he quit years ago but rarely saw each other, the lunch they agreed on was a surprise. After making light conversation John finally got to the embarressing question at hand. _

_"I need some help." he blurted._

_"Of course man. What's up?" Brian asked, thinking his old partner had finally pissed someone important off and couldn't fix it himself._

_"So I'm with this girl...kind of young, hottest thing you've ever seen."_

_"Oh? How young?" Brian grinned._

_"18."_

_"Damn John! Well someone's gettin' along well. So what's the problem here?"_

_"Well....I mean I really like her and I want to do something special for her if you know what I mean."_

_"Um...no I don't."_

_"In bed. I want to please her."_

_"Oh. So what, you haven't been up to parr?"_

_"No! It's not that it's just...I want to...do something different."_

_Brian laughed loudly before leaning in._

_"Okay man, here's what you do..." both of them leaned in._

* * *

"Oh god John!" she yelled as her cries filled the entire room. He pulled his fingers out for a moment before replacing them with his tongue. She only got louder, which he didn't even think was possible.

He moved his tongue inside her vigorously, grabbing her wrapping his arms around her thighs.

"Oh god eat that fucking pussy!" she screamed loudly.

He froze. Only earlier that day she had told him she had an apparant dislike for the term. She said it disgusted her as a matter of fact...yet it she was screaming it.

"Don't fucking stop!" she screamed grabbing and handful of his white hair and pushing his head back down.

He complied and dug his fingernails into her thighs as she gripped the desk.

He stood up and and pulled her off the desk unable to stop himself as his body was driven by lust. He turned her around and bent her over the desk. She arched her back, waiting for him.

He took a moment before carefully sliding into the hole he had just delighted in eating out.

Wasting no time he pounded himself into her. She grabbed the desk so hard her knuckles turned white. She bit her lip, feeling as though every single part of her body was on fire. Not in th literal sense. As though her entire body was completely immersed in ecstasy even though she hadn't come yet. She'd been holding it in at least until John did.

John groaned and listened to her loud whimpers. He grabbed her neck pulling her up just enough that he could kiss her forehead. Each thrust brought her closer to incredible climax she knew was coming. Sweat poured down her face and coated her entire body.

Her body began to shake as she tried to keep herself from coming. John felt her tremors underneath him and grabbed one of her breasts. The skin on her back was healing nicely and now the heinous initials were traced over by her smooth skin, the letters still there but barely visible.

She threw back her wild mane which had come undone and fell back in waves. John grabbed it yanking her head back forcefully.

"Mmm. Harder!" she screamed. He rammed in to her then leaned over and kissed the raised skin on her back. The moment he pressed his lips against the soft skin and screamed through gritted teeth as an explosion of pleasure rushed through her body. She tensed and closed her eyes as stars dancing around underneath her eyelids. Right as her muscles unclenched another came and she dug her nails into the polished wood of the captains desk. As her walls clenched around him John help but grunt as he released himself inside of her. They both stayed there for a moment before he fell back in the chair. She joined him a second later, barely able to move.

"Well...saying that was the best I ever had would be somewhat of an understatement." John panted.

She gave a weak smile as her body shut all the men she had ever been with (and that was quite a number), she had to admit she agreed. Besides that she was also starting to get a small thrill out of having sex with him in public.

He kissed her soft lips before pressing his forehead to hers.

"I love you." he whispered getting used to the expression. Getting used to actually meaning it.

"I love you too." she replied softly, smiling.

"Hm. What say we grab a shower. It will be kind of hard for me to get work done when I smell like sweat."

"There's one here?"

"Yeah. You want to go now?"

"Okay." she agreed before getting up off him. She went and grabbed her clothes off the ground and slid them on while he simply tucked in his shirt and pulled his pants and boxers back up.

He opened the door to Cragen's office and they were met with a cool surge of air that brushed their heated bodies. He turned off the light and closed the door behind him, hearing the automatic lock click. The room was empty with the exception of a rogue officer who looked at them and bolted before anyone said anything.

John ignored him and led her to the showers where she got in the stall and automatically dropped everything. As the warm water pounded their bodies Jodi couldn't help but smile. Everything just felt so right when she was with him. Like it was the way that things were really supposed to be.

They both walked back into the squad room and near half hour later, which was empty with the exception of Fin.

"I'm gonna grab something to eat real quick okay?" she grabbed her purse from next to his desk.

"Alright." he kissed her on the cheek. She smiled serenely then departed for the vending machines.

John looked across his desk at Fin who was staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Tippin' the velvet in Cragen's office?" he raised an eyebrow.

John stalled knowing he couldn't possibly deny it. Fin suddenly sighed loudly and looked at his partner.

"So you really like her?" he asked.

"Yeah. I do." John heard himself admit.

"How'd you do it?" Fin asked.

"Huh?" he asked caught off guard.

"Well man...I know you quit trying. I mean...how do you sleep with a girl that without thinkin' about all the crazy shit that goes on around here?"

"I still do, but...she helps me with it. It was one of the first things I told her and she finds ways to make sure I'm not uncomfortable."

Fin nodded then looked like he was in deep thought for a moment.

"You think she's the right one?"

"To be honest...it feels better with her than it ever did with any of my exes."

"I guess I want to say I'm happy for you man."

John looked up at him and raised his eyebrows.

"Thanks I guess." he smiled, knowing Fin really meant it.

The sound of Jodi's heels tore them apart from their little masculine "heart-to-heart." She arrived with her hand submerged in a bag of potato chips with another in her hand along with a body of Vitamin Water. She sat down on the edge of his desk and crossed her endless legs.

"How's it going Jodi?" Fin asked casually.

"I'm good, how about you?" she smiled enjoying the feeling that came when someone important's friends approved of her.

She looked back down into John's warm brown eyes before leaning down and kissing him. Fin looked away, feeling slightly envious of his partner for once. He never really talked about his love life at work, and the fact was it was usually non-existent. Back before Casey was fired there was a brief period where he thought about her but she and John started hooking up before he even got the chance. The only other women in the office now were Olivia and Alex and...well it was no secret there was something going on between the two.

"Okay can we not do the public sex thing right now?" he interrupted as they got deeper into the kiss.

"Sorry." John grinned as he broke away. "So what exactly are we doing?" he asked his partner.

"Well, I put in a call to the other Camero owner. He's definitely not our rapist because he's 85 years old and I saw him on the news during the night of one of the murders. As of now I'm calling around all the joints that were the sights of attacks and seeing if anyone saw the car. Something like that isn't likely to go unnoticed."

"Alright. Let's start making some calls." John sighed.

"Anything I can do to help?" Jodi asked.

Fin and John both looked at each other before Fin answered.

"Well this is likely a violation because you're a victim, but we got enough illicit stuff going on here to let it slide. Bring that phone on Elliot's desk over here and you can join the phone tag party."

"Alrighty." she grinned before grabbing the phone from Elliot's desk and bringing it over. She pulled over Elliot's chair as well and sat down next to John preparing for the fun to begin.


	16. Success

**A/N: I DO NOT own any of the Law & Order franchise.**

**Success**

"We've got you now Andy." Olivia grinned as she walked around the interrogation table.

"Really? And what is it exactly ya got on meh?" he grinned.

"Well, you picked the wrong car to chauffeur. Brand-new Camero? Not exactly inconspicuous."

"I don't know what yet talkin' bout." he shrugged.

"What do you mean you've got no idea?!" Elliot half screamed slamming his palms on the table. "We've got that car, registered under your name!" he screamed.

"How do you know it's mine?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I DON'T NEED TO KNOW IT'S YOURS!!!! IT'S REGISTERED UNDER YOUR NAME!" Elliot screamed before throwing the DMV papers across the table.

Andrew nonchalantly opened the folder and leafed through the papers.

"Hm." he shrugged and passed the folder back to Elliot.

"Think it's not a big deal? Well buddy you're fucking looking at a life sentence for conspiracy to commit murder. Just think about all those men in prison who will like a guy with an accent like yours."

"Hate to tell yeh but I ain't goin' nowhere."

"You're-You're not go-" losing his temper as usual Elliot ran to Andrew's side of the table and grabbed him before shoving him by his neck into the wall. He squeezed tightly listening to the air flow slow down.

Instead of panicking, Andrew simply chuckled knowing it would make Elliot all the more frustrated. And in that he succeeded. Elliot felt his rage boil over as Andrew seemed to simply enjoy it.

"Elliot!" Olivia screamed and Alex swung the door open at the same time.

Elliot reluctantly released his grip as Olivia put her soft hand on his shoulder. She still had a weird power over him.

"So what am I doing wrong now?" he growled at Alex the moment they closed the door.

"I don't know Elliot..how about choking a suspect?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Hm. I don't even think that's worth a reply. So you're saying that the fact he helped with the rape and murder of over a dozen women."

"We still don't know that."

"We still-WE STILL DON''T KNOW THAT?! C'mon Alex! The car is registered under his name."

"And we can't be 100% sure it was him driving." she interjected.

Elliot pursed his lips angrily before a tall man walked into the room.

"Who the hell are you?" Elliot snarled.

"That would be Mr. McInthey's lawyer." he winked.

"Who called you?" Elliot asked.

"A friend of his. Doesn't matter. The questions stop now. You need to either arrest my client with something or else I'm taking him home. It's up to you." he replied before walking into the interrogation room.

"We can't let him walk again." Olivia said.

"Unless you can find something that places him in that car the night of one of the murders, there's nothing I can do." Alex shrugged.

"What about DNA?"

"DNA would simply suggest that he was _in_ the car. Not when. He could have been sitting at home the night of all the rapes and while he may have lent his car over, we have no way to prove it."

"Well...if someone else is in the car there has to be more than two types of DNA. If we find a third can we nail him?" Elliot spoke up.

"It's a stretch but...I suppose. I'll go work on getting a warrant just in case." she turned and left.

Olivia and Elliot filed back into the room.

"I assume you're back to let my client go?" his lawyer leaned back in his chair.

"No actually we need to search his car for DNA. If we find nothing...he's free to go." Elliot explained.

"You'll need a warrant." his lawyer said.

"Excuse me, but I'm peyin' you. I think I can answer for meeself." Andrew stopped him.

His lawyer looked at him then moved in and whispered something to him. They both conversed in hushed tones before his lawyer finally looked up.

"Fine. You want DNA and you'll get it. Go ahead." his lawyer shooed them away. Elliot and Olivia looked at each other before opening the door.

"So either we're at a dead end again or else he's hoping to get caught." Olivia commented.

"If he wants to get caught then why go through all the trouble of making us get DNA?"

"Maybe he wants to make us work for it." Elliot shrugged.

"Maybe. I'll call CSU, you call Alex." Olivia commanded digging out her phone, hoping to god they were finally on the right track.

************

Jodi yawned loudly from where she sat on John's lap, while he dozed off underneath her. Fin rested his eyes as he slammed the phone down. After countless calls they still had nothing. Olivia and Elliot had called to let him know they were looking for DNA in Andrew's car and waiting for the results. Other than that they were sitting around and waiting for several business owners to call back and let them know if they had seen the car. The obvious fact was that none of them really wanted to get up and go around the city knocking on the doors all the strip clubs.

"You know what, I think I'm gonna go home and try to catch some sleep." John nudged Jodi as he suddenly jerked awake.

"Alright man. I'll call you if anything comes up." Fin jerked awake as well.

John stood up and grabbed his coat then looked over at Jodi as she grabbed her purse.

"You didn't bring a coat?" he asked somewhat groggily.

She shook her head.

He took his off before walking behind her and sliding it around her delicate shoulders. She leaned into his touch, then gave him a dazzling smile in reply.

He grinned, feeling his energy return.

"Are you two gonna sit here exchanging looks or are you gonna get your asses outta here?" Fin shot in.

John rolled his eyes then put his arm around Jodi and led her out of the squad room.

******************

"There's gotta be something faster than DNA." Olivia began to panic as they faced the prospect of Andrew getting out again.

"Well his LUD's were clean. Still nothing in the apartment. He had to be making calls from a payphone, in which case we'd have to sweep the entire city." Elliot mused.

"There has to be something we're missing. Someone _had_ to have seen Andrew in that car."

They both stood in silence before Elliot spurted an idea.

"Well, we didn't see the car anywhere near his apartment the day we went to visit which means he had to have it parked somewhere."

"CSU picked up a parking stub from his floor mat!" Olivia's eyes widened.

"Remember where it was?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah. Parking garage on 11th. Easy enough to remember."

"But he lives in Queens. That's an awful lot of way to travel."

"He goes out, parks the car, then catches a cab or the subway back home. It's simple."

Elliot nodded in agreement. "Well then let's go."

******************

"Your turn." John muttered into Jodi's damp red head.

"Mkay....favorite ice cream?" she asked.

He pondered for a moment. They were both sitting in her bathtub, soaking in the warm water. After a few moments Jodi had began throwing questions at John about his likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc.

"More of a milkshake person." he replied.

"Cheater." she grinned before pecking him on the lips.

"What's your favorite?" John asked in return.

"Hmm...vanilla with Oreo." she replied.

"That does sound good." he responded and kissed her quickly. He was surprised by how much he liked actually getting to know her. The more details he found out, the more he fell in love with her.

"Okay...favorite book?" she asked.

"Not a big reader. Besides, American literature is just another way for the government to secretly put subliminal messages of the ideal representation of society into the minds of today's teens and young adults."

"Huh. Interesting dear." she responded, trying not to laugh. She had grown to accept his crazy conspiracy theories.

"And your's would be?"

"Probably Dante's _Inferno_."

"I have to admit that surprises me. You don't strike me much as the philosophical type. To be honest I thought you'd be leaning more towards _Twilight_."

She giggled then splashed him playfully. He pulled her back into his embrace and kissed her wet shoulder.

"You know what I've been thinking?" he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"After this is all over...I want to take you somewhere."

"Somewhere would be?"

"I dunno. Just away from here. Just get away for a few weeks."

"Okay." she nodded before turning around to face him. She grabbed his hand and pulled it out of the water before lacing their fingers together. She leaned in and kissed him.

She pulled back then stood up and stepped out of the tub.

"Leaving already?" he asked, somewhat disappointed.

"I'm pruning." she smiled before picking up a fluffy white towel. John got out as well then grabbed the towel she was using and dried himself off.

"Hey!" she giggled as the remaining water continued to drip down her incredible body.

"What can I say? I like seeing you wet." he joked.

She smirked then grabbed the towel ad finished drying off her soft skin before tossing it back to John and walking across the hall to her bedroom.

He followed her and closed the door behind him as she crawled into bed. He followed and got in after her. It was now four in the morning and he knew the chances of him being back at the precinct in a few hours were inevitable.

She snuggled up next to him, her smooth skin pressing up against him. He kissed her forehead lightly before drifting off to a much needed rest.

* * *

"You're the one who usually parks Mr. McInthey's car right?" Olivia asked the thin teenage parking attendant.

"Yeah. He has that bitchin' Camero." he replied.

"Hm. Yeah. What's your name?" Elliot asked.

"Tyler. Tyler Giaraldi." he responded.

"Giaraldi. That Italian?"

"Straight up. Parents moved here from Sicily when my mom was pregnant."

"I take it you live in Little Italy then."

"Yeah." he nodded.

"Okay. Can you tell us he drove this on October 20th?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed.

She and Elliot paused momentarily, caught off-guard.

"You're sure about that?" she continued.

"Yeah. October 20th is my birthday and I remember telling him how shitty it was that I had to spend my night here."

"What can you tell us about that night?" Elliot pushed further.

"Well, we talked for a bit before he left around eight or so. He came back around twelve or one in the morning."

"Was he alone?"

"No. He was with some guy. They're always together. I think they're dating or something. They're always together. He paid me then gave me an extra hundred as a birthday gift then he and his friend left."

"Tell me about his friend. What did he looked like. How was he dressed?"

"He was dressed like some sort of ninja or something. All black. Shirt, pants, gloves, everything. He was tall. Like...six feet or something. Brown hair. Green eyes. There was a tattoo peeking out of his shirt I don't know what it was of though, and he had a scar on his neck. Actually a brand."

"Of what?!"

"Some initials. I think they were R.F?"

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other before Olivia turned around and dug her phone from her pocket.

"Okay kid we're gonna need you to come down to our station and describe him to a sketch artist. As soon as possible." Elliot instructed.

"Uh...okay? Right now?"

"Right now would probably be good."

"Okay. I gotta go tell my boss."

"It's already taken care of." Olivia hung up her phone and looked at the youth.

Elliot grabbed one of his arms and led him to the car. As soon as he closed the door he turned to Liv and smiled.

"I think we've go our guy." he commented.

"So do I. You wanna call Munch or should I do the honors?" she asked.

"How much would you bet he's otherwise occupied?" Elliot opened the door.

"Don't make me think about it." Olivia groaned before opening the door and getting in.

* * *

John was jerked awake by the ever-constant sounds of his phone ringing. He carefully slid out from under Jodi and grabbed his phone off her nighstand.

"Munch." he answered groggily.

"I think we've got our guy." Olivia half-yelled through the phone.

"What?!' John exclaimed as he sat up.

Jodi mumbled and stirred for a moment with all the noise. John got out of the bed quickly then quietly exited the room. He went to the bathroom where one of the staff had folded his and Jodi's clothes neatly on the sink and slid on his boxers.

"Andrew was as meticulous with hiding his things as he thought. We found a parking stub in his car, and went to talk to the parking attendant there. The attendant places Andrew in his car the night of the first rape, and puts him in there with a friend. The guy was described wearing entirely in black, very quiet, and seemed somewhat flustered."

"Well...how do we know he wasn't just there for the rapes and not the killings?"

"Because our friend tells us that Andrew went out and returned with his friend each night of the murders. We've got him John."

"I'll be right down then." John hung up and walked back into the room quickly. He opened his phone again and called Huang.

"Hey I need you to come stay with Jodi. I have to go back down to the precinct. Liv thinks we might have finally found the bastard."

George agreed without question and hung up. John walked over before leaning down and kissing her shoulder. She was resting on her stomach, arms wrapped around the pillow where he had previously been.

"Mmm." she groaned as his lips touched her.

"Hey I've gotta go." he whispered, running his hand through her hair. Her lids fluttered open and she looked at him through squinted eyes.

"Where?" she rasped.

"Well...Liv and Elliot think they've finally found the guy. We're about to nail the bastard." he explained softly.

"...Okay." she replied, still half-asleep.

"I'll see you later." he chuckled then kissed her.

"I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too." he replied before giving her a last kiss on the cheek before going to grab his clothes. When he turned to close the door again she was asleep again.

He grabbed his clothes and got dressed then rushed downstairs to the kitchen to make himself a quick cup of coffee. On his way down a picture on the wall caught his eye. Actually several.

The first one at the top was a faded photo of a tall woman. She had fiery red hair that tumbled straight down her thin shoulders and framed her thin body perfectly. Her green eyes and dazzling smile most captured his attention.

As he stared at the picture of Jodi's mother he couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy. In the background was an old-fashioned IT'S A GIRL! banner and John caught a glimpse of Jodi's father laughing as well. The photo was dated on the side back to December of 1991 and he couldn't help but think about the fact that they were nearly 40 years apart.

A shook the thought away as he looked down at the next picture, which featured Jodi standing on the toes of one foot with her other leg stretched vertically above her. She wore a tight silver dress that draped from her hip to above her knee and a pair of angel wings. On her head was a crown of ivy. She didn't look much younger than she did now, and when he looked closer he saw the photo was only three years old.

His phone brought him back to attention as he remembered what he was getting out of bed for. He continued down the grand staircase and walked into the kitchen. He answered it as he walked into the grand room expecting to hear the voice of Elliot or Olivia and instead, he got a surprise.

"John? It's Casey."

He nearly dropped the mug he had just pulled out of the cabinet.

"Hey Casey!" he exclaimed.

"So...I'm a little late but I just got back to Manhattan. I was thinking do you still wanna grab that drink?"

"Uh-of course." he mouth moved before he could think properly.

"Great! How does Wednesday sound? I need to get settled."

"That sounds good..." he replied and mentally hit himself.

"The usual place?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

"Okay...see you then!" she gushed.

"Bye." he hung up. He felt guilt rush through his body.

_It's just a drink. It's not like your fucking her behind Jodi's back._ He tried to assure himself, but the fact was he doubted he and Casey would go out together and leave it in the air.

He stood there thinking. He loved Jodi. Really loved her. He hadn't felt the way with a woman as he felt with her...well ever. He knew if he talked to her about it she'd probably understand...so why was he so freaked out?

He waited for his coffee and tapped his fingers on the counter hoping everything would work out.

* * *

"So what have we got?" John tossed his coat over his desk as he walked into the squad room.

"From running around all morning we've ID'd the guy as a Scott Lucas. We also arrested McInthey for accessory to murder. Now this issue is finding him. He's not in the system." Fin replied.

"Okay...and I take it our Irish friend's not saying anything?"

"Nope." Elliot jutted in.

"Well there is something here...every place he's attacked is either a strip joint or red light district." Olivia added.

"Hate to break it to you but there's hundreds of those in New York." Elliot leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"Exactly." John agreed.

"Yeah but from when we went around yesterday, only eighteen placed a black Camero at the scene, not including the one in D.C." Fin said.

"I don't see the point here Liv." John leaned back on his desk and crossed his legs.

"Well maybe we can get Lucas in a club." she shrugged.

"Yeah, but what are the odds of him going to the same place twice?" John responded.

"Well here's what we know. We know he's viewing Jodi Stanford as some kind of trophy and we know he has plans on going back to her for that final kill. All that's left to do is drive him out." Elliot said.

"How the hell do we do that the guy's always three steps ahead?" Fin replied.

"Make him think that we've got him. Get it on the news, in the papers. From what we've seen with Andrew, he probably wants to be in control of the situation. Get it out to the public that we're one step behind him. Tell them...we have his DNA. Make him believe his reign is over. Before he starts hiding he's going to want to go back for Jodi as the final strike, and when he does...we'll be waiting." Elliot formulated.

"So we have her do a night at the club. Get that publicized too, and station shields there, at her home, at my place...basically everywhere she might possibly go within that 24 hour time frame." John proposed.

"...That's not a bad idea. But this guy's smart. Do you think he'll know?" Olivia mused.

"We can only hope he doesn't." Elliot shrugged.

All four detectives looked at each other before standing up and getting ready to go their separate ways of the day. A busy day it would be.


	17. Sanity

**A/N: I DO NOT own any of the Law & Order franchise. Oh these past few chapters have been so much fun!!!! And the next few will be even more...and now that I'm on Christmas vacation, many chapters there will be. There will be a surprise coming soon because I just can't help myself from putting it up. ****Metalchick36****...this is for you. Yeah um....I'm not doing spelling and grammatical errors. I don't really feel like it.  
**

**Sanity**

Jodi's opened her eyes as she heard a loud clatter from downstairs even through her blaring music. She pulled out her earphones and listened instensly. Dr. Huang had run to the restroom across the hall.

"Anita!?" she yelled wondering if her closest and favorite housekeeper had injured herself. Getting no reply, she hopped out of bed and started her journey downstairs to see what was going on. She had on nothing but one of John's shirts that barely cleared her ass and a pair of panties that certainly didn't.

"Anita?" she tried again as she walked down the grand staircase. Still no answer. She hit the bottom of the stairs and saw a pair of wet footprints from the snowy day outside leading to her kitchen. The staff knew to take off their shoes before going anywhere for fear of getting her carpet dirty.

"Anita?" she asked turning the corner into her kitchen before she froze. Standing in front of her was a tall man dressed entirely in black. Shoes, pants, shirt, gloves,...and a mask.

"Oh god." she breathed as the vivid pain of her rape hit her body at once.

"Jodi." he growled, his voice slightly distorted by the black fabric.

Her fear ceased for a moment as she quickly tried to think of a plan in her mind. She had a gun upstairs in her dresser which she had bought the moment she realized the true dangers of New York, and she had gotten it registered on her 18th birthday. Not to mention the fact that Dr. Huang was upstairs.

They both stared at each other before she made a break for it. He caught up with her in just seconds before grabbing her and dragging her back into the kitchen, kicking and screaming.

He grabbed her and pulled her body upright so she was standing before grabbing her from behind and grasping her neck tightly.

"Sorry to have to make this appointment so soon but...that old cop boyfriend of yours is on to me and I need to finish my work before I head out of here." he muttered through the mask.

Jodi wrenched her body from his grasp and attempted to again get away before he yanked her back by her hair and slammed her into the counter.

"Well this is nice..." he chuckled as he traced the curve of her exposed backside "...but I have so much more planned for us."

He grabbed her off the counter and turned her around so that his muffled mouth was inches from hers. After a moment she gripped the counter behinf her and kicked him away as hard as she could.

He skidded across the floor, caught off-guard and she used to opportunity to jump over him and rush down the hall back up the stairs. After a few seconds she heard him chasing after her and increased her speed.

As she turned the corner she collided with Dr. Huang. He groaned as she landed on top of his body before her attacker caught up with them. He grabbed her legs and pulled her back before pushing her down the stairs.

George watched her body tumble down the steps and reached for his phone in his back pocket. Jodi's rapist came at him and George quickly dialed 911 with his thumb behind his back.

Before he could react her assailant ripped a framed thousand-dollar painting off the wall and swung it into his head. There was a sickening thud before he crumpled to the ground.

"911 Emergency, how can I help you?" the operator sounded loudly through his phone. The man quickly stepped on it before anything could be said.

Jodi opened her eyes and let her dizziness fade as she finally hit a landing on the stairs. She needed to get to that gun, and he was blocking her way.

She stood up slowly and erased the nausea from her mind before looking up at her enemy at the top of the stairs. As he began to slowly descend she attempted to race up only to be pushed down roughly. She landed on her back and curled up defensively when she saw his leg come towards her, connecting with her spine and tailbone.

Through the battering blows and gripped the wall and pulled herself up, feeling the bruises already begin to form before she turned around. An unanticipated kick connected with her jaw and she hit the ground again. This time, he got down and straddled her, slamming punches across her face. She let him for a moment as her strength dissolved before he reached for something in his pocket and she saw the glint of metal.

Adrenaline pulsed through her body and she suddenly kicked him off. He fell back again and she stood up and jumped over him. His hand caught her ankle, dragging her down for a moment but she delivered a sharp kick that connected with his jaw. She sprinted up the remaining stairs and down the hall to her room, speeding as she heard his footsteps catch up with her.

*************

John's phone rang and he answered irritably, thinking it was Olivia and Elliot again.

"Munch it's Olivia. A 911 operator in Manhattan said they just got a call from Jodi's home...no response."

John froze. Fin stopped short behind him as they walked towards Scott's apartment.

"When?" he asked.

"About a minute ago. I tried George's cell a coupla times and I got nothing."

John felt his heart jerk. The bastard could't have gotten to her. They'd been so careful. He'd promised her.

"I'm going. Now." he said before hanging up and rushing back to the car.

"What is it?" Fin asked.

"I think Jodi's in trouble." he replied in a slightly panic-striken voice. The memories of those few years ago when he'd almost gotten involved with a victim only to see her get blown up the night of their first date. There was no way in hell he could lose Jodi. He had fallen in love with her. It was that easy. That simple. If he lost her...nothing would be able to fix that wound. Ever.

Fin got in silently looking at the panic on his partner's face. Something he had never seen before.

"John..." he assured him as they pulled out of the spot. John looked over at his friend, brown eyes shimmering with doubt and fear. "we'll get him."

John said nothing as he sped down the city street, honking at anyone in his way. He'd get the bastard if it was the last thing he did.

*****************

As soon as Jodi ran through the door frame of her room Scott gripped her waist and threw her across her dresser. Dozens of tubes, jars, and compacts clattered to the ground. She got up, so close to her goal. In the distance of the quiet suburban area, she heard the wail of sirens.

Tearing the knife from his pocket, Scott grabbed John's shirt and ripped it off before plunging the knife a few centimeters into her chest and leaving the initials again. Her scream pierced the room as he carved deeper than before. The blood rushed from the wound and trailed down her body, leaving her feeling weak.

Throwing an aimlessly punch, she heard her fist connect with his nose and rushed to her dresser at the other end of the room as she heard him scream. The sirens got louder and Scott heard them too. He panicked for a moment. He had to have her before they arrived. He had to.

Opening the dresser she moved aside a layer of clothes before pulling out the silver handgun. She pulled back the hammer and prepared to turn around before she felt Scott press his body against her.

She threw the gun back in, feeling him quickly bend her over and pull aside her clothes. She attempted to push him off again, but the loss of blood gave her spots of blood that decorated her vision.

He pushed himself into her and she bit her lip to avoid screaming as he brushed past her dry walls. He grabbed her head and banged it into the dresser hard enough to make her eyesight clouded with black dots.

He pushed into her as hard as possible, as if he was trying to cause as much pain.

The sound of sirens erupted around the house and Jodi closed her eyes, praying they would get there in time. Instead of trying to get dressed and fleeing, Scott simply kept going.

As he thrusted into her, he grabbed her neck, squeezing tightly.

The door was kicked down and the sound of footsteps and screams coming from down the stairs forced her to hang on to consciousness.

Just as her eyes slipped closed, she grabbed the gun then kicked him from behind and pushed him out of her and onto the ground. He tried to get up but she swiftly aimed for his right kneecap and shot before doing the same for his left.

Just as she crippled him, an officer walked into her bedroom.

"Are you alright?" he asked walking towards her.

"Where's John?" she moaned as tears streamed down her face. A few more came in, their eyes running over her naked battered and bloodied body.

"I'm Officer Martinez. You're safe now." he spoke again.

"John." she repeated, shaking fiercly. Her strength dimished as the blood continued to pour from her wounds the the post-adrenaline rush crash sank in.

Martinez grabbed a comforter off her bed and threw it around her exposed body. She swayed for a moment before falling down. He caught her just in time, before she hit the ground.

****************

John arrived to a mob of police cars and two ambulences parked in front of Jodi's home. As soon as he got there he stopped the car and jumped out, not even waiting for Fin. He sprinted across the street just in time to see two cops rolls out a stretcher. His heart stopped and her ran up to them, the vivid red hair shining from across the street.

"Jodi?!" he yelled running to her side.

"She was asking for you before she passed out." an officer commented as two EMS workers began to load her into the ambulance.

"What the hell happened?!" John exclaimed angrily and deathly afraid.

"We don't know. Looks like the guy got in and she fought him off as best she could." one of the men shrugged.

"Is she alright??!!!" he exclaimed.

"She'll be fine. Bastard raped her again. And carved some initials in her chest, I don't know if they're his or not. From what they look like, the wounds are pretty deep, byt not deep enough to kill her. She also has dozens of bruises. How about I talk to you on the way over?"

John nodded solemnly then watched as they loaded her unconscoious into the ambulance. He climbed in after them, quickly looking back at Fin who nodded before the doors closed.

As the vehicle began to move he grasped her hand. Her usually tan face had lost its color and there were already a couple bruises over her eye and around her jaw. A light ring had formed around her neck and right before a sheet covered her he caught sight of a bandaged deep wound on her chest.

"Hey man don't worry, she's gonna be fine." the EMS worker assured him.

John looked over at him and nodded.

"What about the bastard that did this to her?" he growled, feeling anger surge through his body.

"Well let me tell you...you picked one helluva girl. She shot him in both kneecaps. He's not going anywhere. I'm Brad by the way. Brad Popik."

A groan emitted from her lips as her lids suddenly fluttered open.

"Jodi!" John cried and gripped her hand tightly.

"John." she groaned through a strangled voice.

He put his other hand on her bruised face and felt the unusual feeling of tears welling up in his eyes.

"Baby I'm here. I'm here." he whispered kissing her tenderly.

"He fucking raped me again." she began to sob.

John felt tremors rack his body at the thought of Scott Lucas violating the body that he had come to love. Hurting her in the places he couldn't stop giving her pleasure.

"It's okay." he muttered, pulling her head to his chest. As she sat up and grabbed on to him, the sheet that had covered her body fell forward. He looked down at the bloody and bandaged area on her chest.

"Is this where he...?" he trailed off.

She sniffled and nodded into his chest. He squeezed her tighter before leaning down and kisssing her again. She broke away before slowly lying back down. She exhaled deeply before closing her eyes, overtaken by a wave of fatigue. John felt a mixture of tears and anger as he thought about how close he had come to losing her.

*****************

Jodi fell back into John's bed happily. After a horrendus three days in the hospital she was glad to finally be out. She hated hospitals. It was like going to a waiting funeral. The sights, thoughts, and smells made her sick.

John grinned and looked at her. After they first went to the hospital he went out of his mind every time he thought about what she had gone through. During the interrogation John had to be dragged out by Elliot after attempting to strangle to sadistic bastard.

"Get in here." she stretched out her arms and smiled.

He chuckled and got in with her. She winced but quickly composed herself as she took on his body weight.

"You okay?" he asked automatically getting off of her.

"John." she pulled him back before kissing him. After being raped for the second time, she wanted nothing more than to have him make love to her.

"I think we should wait." he mumbled despite feeling himself get hard. He was more afraid of hurting her than anything else.

\

"Please. I need you to." she begged.

He looked down into her wide and pleading eyes before kissing her again. She entwined her fingers in his white hair. She needed his touch, something she didn't get the past few days.

She reached for his shirt and untucked it from his pants, craving his touch. He let her take it off before going for his pants. He helped her pull them off before helping her wth her own clothes. As he shed them off her stopped and stared at her body, covered in bruises. He looked up at her. Her face was a mixture of hurt and shame. Her lip trembled before her eyes began to water.

"Hey." he whispered, putting a hand on her face. She moved from underneath him and sat up against his headboar, pulling her legs up to her chin and buring her face in her knees.

"Jodi." he whispered as he moved towards her. She sobbed loudly into her knees and he put his arms on her lightly before taking her legs and pulling them down. She looked at him through blood-shot eyes and crossed her arms, attempting to hide some of the ugly marks.

The past few days he caught her crying almost every time she looked at her body. The heinous marks and scars she had been left with were a painful reminder of what she had gone through and what she now looked like.

"You're beautiful." he whispered, before kissing one of the bruises on her thigh.

She relaxed underneath his touch, and upon seeing her do so John continued to press his lips to every damaged part of her body he could find.

Under a thick layer of guaze on her chest, the bleeding had stopped but he doctor had told them without the help of skin graphs, she would have that scar for the rest of her life.

He kissed the thick bandage before meeting her lips again. Getting lost in the moment and forgetting his need to be gentle, he moved down and wrenched her thighs apart. She gasped and he snapped out of his influence of lust.

"I'm sorry." he apologized, but she waved it off. He took a long moment before slowly sliding half of himself into her. She winced in pain but didn't say anything.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked unsure.

Instead of answering his question, she put a hand on his face and stared deeply into his dark eyes. Hers were still watery but she felt the tears dissolve behind her eyes.

"I love you." she whimpered.

"I love you too...more than anything else." he replied before kissing her battered neck.

He sighed before awkwardly and slowly thrusting into her, trying to cause her as little pain possible. She bit her lip, caught in a mixture of pain and bliss. She wanted it to stop, but then she wanted it to last. She knew John was trying as hard as he could not to make it hurt.

"You okay?" he checked every few minutes. She nodded before closing her eyes and gripping the sheets tightly. After a few more minutes, moans began to escape her lips and she put her hands on John's wiry biceps.

"More." she breathed.

Still wary, he pushed all of himself into her. For a quick second, the room was taken over by her high-pitched scream. He immediatly stopped but she opened her eyes and forced him to keep going, succumbing to the pain.

He continued to thrust, hating himself every second. No matter if she wanted it or not, he could see the evident pain on her face. After a few more minutes she dug her fingers into his shoulders as she tensed around him before falling limp underneath him, her body covered in sweat.

He pulled himself out of her, still hard. There was no way he could come when it felt like he was raping her. As soon as they were done and crawled under the covers, hiding her battered body from his sight.

"Jodi...you know you're beautiful to me no matter what right?"

She looked at him and gave a small smile before looking down at his manhood.

"You didn't...?" she trailed off already getting the wrong impression.

"I didn't want to make you go through anymore. If that means blue balls then...too bad." he explained.

She turned on her side and tightened the covers around her body. He watched her, feeling her pain. He really didn't understand why the bruises had affected her so. She was still beautiful. Not just to him...to everyone.

He started to say something to her but decided against it and instead got out of bed then went to get a drink. It was over. He'd finally caught her rapist. So why did things seem worse?

***************

"Munch, you okay?" Olivia asked as soon as Fin and Elliot left the room.

John looked up at her. The past three days she noticed his mood start a steady decline as he went from joyous to tense and depressed.

"Yeah I'm fine." he lied and tried to make himself look busy by shuffling papers.

"You know I wouldn't be asking if I thought you were." Olivia got out of her seat and sat on the edge of his desk.

He sighed for a moment before looking up at her and giving up.

"It's just...things have been weird between Jodi and I lately."

"How so?"

"Ever since the second attack...she barely talks to me. She hardly lets me kiss her, she won't even let me see her naked and sex...well it just feels like I'm raping her because I know she's in pain. It's just...I dunno how to explain it."

"John...me, you, and El have been working in SVU for 10 years now. I'd think you understand victims by now. It's not you it's just...she's ashamed. She feels violated. She feels disgusting. It's painful. I saw her body and she's covered in scars and bruises. They're probably a daily reminder of what she's gone through and I bet they just make her feel hideous, no matter what anyone else says. Not to mention...well of course she's in pain! She had a guy force himself into her when she wasn't ready! If she's asking you to have sex with her it means she's trying to replace those memories with the feelings she gets when you guys are together. The thing she needs to most right now is for you to be there for her.

John took her words to heart. Later that night he would be meeting Casey out for a drink but now he was having second thoughts. He wanted to be there for Jodi. He loved her.

"Thanks Liv." he smiled. She nodded then stood up and walked back over to her desk.

***************

Jodi checked herself out in the mirror. The black/blue marks on her body had pretty much faded with the exception of the wound on her chest that the doctor said she'd have a scar of forever.

The past few days she'd spent a collective amount of time in bed. John had hardly even touched her, which she figured was because of the bruises that were now gone. Besides that she'd gained a couple pounds from doing nothing but laying around but she was going back to the gym to work out. That night she was going to show him a good time.

She quickly began to get dressed and slid on a pair of black leggings and a hoodie before putting her hair up and preparing to go on a jog.

Just as she was about to step out the front door her phone rang.

"Hello?" she chirped closing the door behind her and locking it with the brand-new key John had given her after coming back from the hospital.

"Hey it's me." he started cautiously.

"Oh, hey sweetie. What's up?" she chirped.

"Um...so....what are you doing?" he asked caught off guard by her suddenly cheerful voice and the sounds of traffic on her end.

"I'm just going for a quick run." she explained before beginning to stretch on the stairs to his home. As she put her leg up several men walking past stopped and stared.

"Oh...so you're out of bed?"

One of the men cat-called her and she gave him a quick wink before moving on to the other.

"Yes I'm out of bed...and I have to tell you something. Got any plans for tonight?"

"Um...well I was actually going out to meet a friend for a drink but since you're feeling better do you want to come along with me?" he closed his eyes hoping she wouldn't get angry at him for not telling her about meeting Casey in the first place.

"That sounds great...and I've got something special planned for us afterwards."

"What's that?" he sat up in his chair feeling like they were both back to normal.

"You'll have to wait and see." she grinned before hanging up.

She tucked her phone into her pocket before stepping down and starting her jog down the sidewalk. Everything was finally good again.


	18. The End

**A/N: I DO NOT own any of the Law & Order franchise. Oh god...I've wanted to write this chapter for so long. I'm still deciding how to have it lead into the next one though. Don't worry it's only for one chapter...**

**The End**

Jodi fluffled out her curly hair and checked herself out in the bathroom mirror one more time. She wore a short silver dress that dropped around her collarbone and would have left her topless if not for a black cami underneath. After her vigorous workout that morning, she felt back to normal even though she knew it wasn't possible she'd lost all that weight that fast even though it was only three pounds.

She opened the bathroom door and stepped out.

"I'm ready!" she yelled knowing John would be itching to go.

He walked out of his bedroom holding her purse and stopped. The short dress she wore exposed miles upon miles of leg and hugged her taut body perfectly. Her wild mane fell around her face perfectly. Her green eyes rimmed with smoky liner and her full lips so glossed they could be skated over.

"Wow." he felt his body begin to react.

"Like it?" she raised an eyebrow.

"...Hell yes." he replied walking towards her, and sliding his arms around her. He kissed her, feeling the thick layer of gloss on her soft lips.

"Bet that doesn't taste too good." she giggled. He chuckled pulling away, before handing her purse over. He grabbed her hand and led her from the apartment and outside to his car. The freezing air hit them like a brick wall but she pretended she wasn't freezing in a dress that stopped mid-thigh.

They got in and he turned on the heat. Jodi crossed her legs, sliding the dress up a bit and giving John a hint of the heaven it led to.

"You do realize you're about to make me pull over the car right?" he turned to her.

She grinned and rubbed his thigh gently before folding her hands neatly on her lap.

As he drove he felt his old self return. The sunny personality he had fallen in love with had returned. He wouldn't exchange that for anything.

* * *

Casey watched as John walked into the busy bar with some redhead in tow. His hand was clenched in hers and Casey felt a pang of envy as she stared at the girl. She couldn't be older than 22 and her body looked like it had been designed by Hugh Hefner himself.

At first Casey was sure she was a hooker but she knew John would never stoop that low. As they walked up she felt her heart pound loudly in her ears. She willed the flush in her face to go away so that John wouldn't catch her like this.

"Hey Casey!" he exclaimed grabbing her and pulling her out of her seat. He hugged her tightly before letting go. She fell back into her seat and took a moment before forcing a smile on her face.

"H-hi John." she smiled tightly.

Jodi felt her emotions run wild. This was the woman in the picture. She could see the flustered look on her face and could tell she was disappointed that Jodi was there.

"This is Jodi. Jodi, this is Casey Novak, an old friend of mine." John put his arm around her and introduced the tweo.

"Hi." she smiled at Casey as she stared at her evidently-dyed blonde hair. She tightened her grip around John's thin body letting the woman know he was hers.

The two women gave each other a death stare and John felt the growing tension before the bartender interuppted.

"Can I get you guys anything?"

"Yeah I'll have a Stoli martini. Extra dry." Casey turned around.

"Shot of tequila and a beer please." Jodi sighed causing everyone to turn around and stare. She was going to have to get good and drunk to get through the night without ripping Casey's hair out. She wasn't the jealous type at all, and was immediatly surpirsed that this woman was making warning bells go off in her head.

"I'll just have a beer." John shrugged.

The bartender nodded before walking off to get their drinks.

"So Case, when did you get in?" John asked.

"Um...a few hours ago actually. I haven't even gotten settled in." she responded, crossing her legs. John sat down on a stool and Jodi sat defensively on his lap. Casey's lips tightened as Jodi glanced at her before turning to her drink. It was even worse when she saw John tighten his hands around her waist, like he never wanted her to get up.

She downed the shot without so much as breathing before starting on the beer.

Several men down the bar stared as she downed the hard liquor. As John and Casey conversed she couldn't help but give a few attention seeing as to how John's was diverted from her.

She felt her bladder begin to scream and stood up.

"I'm going to the restroom." she breathed before brushing John's shoulder and strutting to te bathroom. Almost every male eye turned for a moment as she disappeared into the ladie's room.

"So...she's something." Casey frowned.

"Tell me about it. You know Case...I think she may be it." John grinned.

"Wow. That's...well that's something I never thought I'd hear you say John. How exactly did you two meet?" she asked.

"To be honest...she was the victim of the Scott Lucas."

"...Oh. John...listen...I..." Casey trailed off feeling impulse surpass judgement. Unsure of when Jodi would return she moved a bit closer to John.

"Yeah?"

"Um...when I asked you out tonight..." she trailed off unsure of how to continue.

Catching her drift, he lowered his eyes.

"I'm sorry Casey. I shouldn't have come. I had a feeling...I just..."

Casey moved in closer, placing her hand on his thigh. She couldn't let that chance go by. She actually had feelings for John.

"Casey..." he began to stop her but in an instand her lips were on his.

He got lost in the old familiar feel of her kiss. The past memories flooded his mind and he found himself kissing her back.

*************

Jodi started back to her seat when she stopped dead in her tracks. As she looked ahead she saw John's lips attached to Casey's. It felt like her heart had stopped beating.

She shook herself out of the trance and threw back her hair before stomping out of the bar and into the night.

It was below freezing outside but she didn't care. She just began to walk, not caring where her legs took her.

****************

John pulled away, catching his breath before he stood up and pulled a twenty out of his wallet.

"Where are you going?" Casey asked.

"Um...I'm going home with my girlfriend. Who I love." he stammered before looking over at her half-gone beer. It seemed like an eternity since she had gone to the restroom. Where the hell was she?

Casey sat back in her seat, face flushing in rejection. She couldn't believe he was just leaving her.

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news buddy, but I don't think she's your girlfriend anymore." a man next to them rasped.

"What?" John snapped.

"Saw you two and stomped outta here." he chuckled.

John took in what he had said for a moment before pulling on his coat and bolting from the busy bar. He ran outside, ignoring Casey's call. The moon was covered by thick clouds and it was pitch black except the city lights.

He looked down the street both ways seeing no signs of her before pulling out his phone frantically and dialing her number. As predicted, the call went straight to voicemail and he tried again a few more times before giving up.

"Excuse me sir," he walked up to a man smoking on the sidewalk.

"Yeah?" he answered gruffly.

"Have you seen a redhead woman...about 5'7", short dress?" he asked in a panicky voice.

"Really hot bod?" he turned to John.

"Yeah probably."

"Yeah I seen her. Pretty little thing. She was bawling her eyes out too. I asked her if she needed anything but she just shook her head and started waklin'."

"Which way?"

"Down there. Right."

"Alright thanks man."

John ran to his car. She couldn't have gotten that far away on foot.

******************

Elliot closed his eyes as his vision blurred momentarily. He was wasted. He knew it. He knew he had gotten in the car willingly. He knew that if anything went wrong he could say goodbye to his badge. He knew he hated Kathy. He knew he hated how she bitched and moaned about every single thing that didn't go her way.

He knew the bar was the last place he should go. He was already toasted, and he knew a night there would probably result with him in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. At the moment he didn't really care. He just wanted to let go of all thought of the woman.

As he drove he caught a glimpse of a familiar redhead walking under the New York lights. He squinted his eyes, unsure of whether it was really her or if if the cognac was speaking.

He slowed down a few feet away and rolled down the window.

"Jodi?" he asked.

She looked down into the car and bent over to looked inside.

"Hi Detective." she breathed miserably. Her face was red and her eyes swollen and streaked with the remnants for mascara.

"What the hell are you doing?" he slurred.

"I could ask you the same." she retorted smelling the booze from outside.

Elliot raised his eyebrows before leaning over and opening the door.

"Get in." he demanded.

"Why?" she hesitated.

"Listen Jodi, I may be drunk out of my mind but I'm not gonna let you walk the streets of New York City alone a night dressed like that. I'll take you home get in."

She pursed her lips before getting in. She herself felt a little tipsy from the mixture of beer and tequila and lack of food that day but she ignored it.

Elliot rolled up the window on her side and pulled out of his spot, somewhat thankful for her distracting him from his trip to death by drinking.

"So...what the hell are you doing out here?" he looked over at her.

"I was out with John..." she replied leaving it open for question.

"Doing?..."

"We went out for a drink. Actually, he went out to meet a friend, and invited me along last minute."

"Doesn't sound like you like this friend."

"I don't. Didn't. Whatever."

"Who was is?"

"Uh...Casey Novak? You know her?"

"Ah Casey. Yeah she was A.D.A for a coupla years after Alex had to go into the W.P.P."

"Excuse me?"

"Witness Protection Program."

"Ah."

"I suppose you want the story between the two."

"Not really."

"Ah, you do. As far as I know they fucked for awhile but John never considered it anything more...I think Casey did though."

"Hm." Jodi snorted and crossed her legs.

Elliot looked over at them. Why didn't Kathy have legs like those?

"What went wrong?"

"What makes you assume something went wrong?"

"Maybe the fact that you're crying. Why else leave a man when you're dressed like that?"

"They kissed."

"Ah. Well that is tough. Sorry kid."

"Mmm much appreciated."

"Yep, anytime."

He dodged around taxi's as they neared her home. When they finally pulled up in front of her house he got out with her.

"Let me help you in." he muttered drunkenly as he grabbed her elbow more for his support than hers. She unlocked the door and opened it. Elliot stumbled in and gripped the wall for support.

"Easy there Detective." Jodi grabbed him.

"Call me Elliot." he breathed.

She turned on the lights and walked to the kitchen. Elliot followed her and fell onto a stool.

"So what's your story Elliot?" she grabbed two beers from her fridge and slid one down to him even though she knew he was drunk. He decided against saying anything about her drinking underage.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Speeding down the street drunk?" she raised and eyebrow and lifted the bottle to her lips before sitting down next to him.

"Just my wife."

"Oh? I thought she was 'everything a man could want'." she quoted.

"Yeah...I lied. We filed for divorce last year and ended up getting back together because she popped out another kid. Ever since then...it's just been the same shit. We get along for awhile then it's complete shit. I can't stand her like this."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

She took a long sip and crossed her lean legs. Elliot watched them dangle endlessly and sighed.

"Not many girls are born with legs like those." he commented.

"These?" she grinned.

"Yep. You work out a lot?"

"Every day. Well not recently...but I'm getting back to it."

"Huh. It shows. They look so smooth too." he gently traced on of his fingers down the length of her leg.

Jodi closed her eyes as her mind swam. She let everything go except feeling of being under the influence and Elliot's flirtateousness. Nothing else mattered.

"Are they smooth?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Very." he replied.

She smiled and took another swig before setting it down and leaning in a bit closer.

"The rest of your body is pretty nice too." he mused.

"Well thankyou. I try."

"Well, you suceed."

She looked down and giggled. When she looked up again Elliot's face was mere centimeters in front of her. After a moment he leaned in and kissed her experimentally. The only two women he'd even kissed in the past 10 years were Olivia and Kathy and now the hottest of them all.

She kissed him back before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss became sloppy as the booze spoke for them both and he clumsily let his hands roam her body. She gasped as he bit down on her neck roughly before she grabbed his head and stood up.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of he seat them rushed out of the kitchen as fast as her legs would take her. As they rushed up the stairs Elliot tripped in an intoxicated haze. They both laughed as they continued up to her room, with his hands on her waist.

As soon as they hit her bedroom Elliot pushed her down in a rush and got on top of her. In moments he began to rip her clothes off. He stared at her naked body, eyes dark with fury.

He licked her neck and heard her moan loudly underneath him.

"You're a fucking whore." he growled in her ear before biting her neck. She dug her nails into his back before starting to unbutton his shirt. As she pulled it off revealing hard abs and well-muscled chest.

He sat up and unzipped his pants before pulling them off along with his underwear. He kissed her body before grabbing one of her breasts and biting down hard on her nipple. She whined and opened her legs wider.

He moved down and grabbed her thighs roughly.

"How wet are you?" he grinned.

"Just fuck me please." she panted.

He chuckled before sliding his tongue into her. She screamed loudly in pleasure. Instead of takin his time like John usually did he went right for it, attacking her with intensity.

He spit on her already-wet sex, making her twitch. She twisted her hands in his hair, keeping it down. He sat up and grabbed her legs before sliding into her and pounding away immediatly.

"Fuck me!" Jodi screamed and dug her nails in his well-muscled back. Elliot plowed into her as hard as he could, enjoying how tightly she fit around him.

He pulled out and turned her over on her back before pulling her waist and pushing into her from behind. He grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her head back.

She cried out in pleasure before he smacked her ass with his open palm, delighting in the red handprint left behind.

"That all you got?" she panted, turning to face him. In response, he grabbed her head and drove it into the mattress. She dug her nails into the sheets before she came.

Elliot tensed seconds later before falling next to her. She closed her eyes before the guilt could take over. Elliot's snoring was all that sounded in the room after a few moments.

*****************

Jodi woke up to an empty bed. At first she was sure it was a dream, but the smell of beer that lingered in her bed reminded her that it was very real.

The guilt welled up inside of her like vomit. She had done it. She had cheated on her boyfriend. The man she was supposed to have loved.

As if on time, her phone rang. She dug through her clothes on the floor to find her purse then dug it out. 11 missed calls. She didn't even have to check who they were from.

She debated whether to answer them as time slipped through her fingers. Making a last-second decision she hit the SEND button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she fought back tears.

"Jodi!! Baby I'm so sorry! Please let me expl-"

"John can we meet up somewhere?" she interuppted. She couldn't let him sit there and apologize. He'd only kissed Casey. She'd fucked Elliot. She doubted if he even remembered.

"Um...I guess? Where?"

"Uh...actually can you meet me at the club? Tell them I sent you over. They'll have breakfast too if I'm not there. We'll talk then. Is that alright?"

"Uh...fine I guess.

She hung up the phone before losing all control. John had become her life, and she knew she was about to lose him.

She quickly put up her hair and quickly looked through her closet for a black dress. She also grabbed a pair of black heels and slid into them before walking to her dresser. She quickly spritzed herself with perfume, hoping to drive off the smell of beer. Looking up in the mirror she noticed her blood-shot eyes which were even redder than her hair. Looking around she grabbed a pair of jet-black Chanel sunglasses and slid them off before making her way down to her car outside.

* * *

John pulled up to the club, still wondering what the hell was going on. He knew Jodi was upset with the events last night, but over the phone it had sounded like something more. One night, she had told him she always belived in second chances and that cheating was forgivable but he had no clue that the tables were turned.

He got out of the car, a bouquet of a dozen assorted carnations and roses n his hand before walking into the club. The usual bouncer gave him a head nod and John walked into the dim club.

Jodi watched from a table near the entrance. She had deliberatly gotten there twenty minutes before he did and and spent the time wondering just what the hell she was going to say.

John walked towards her table witha bouquet of flowers in his hand and she felt herself start to break already. Her eyes watered and she was endlessly thankful for the sunglasses and the dim lighting in the club.

"Hey." he said as he hung his coat over the back of his chair and sat down. "These are for you." he handed her the flowers.

She took them and fingered one of the soft petals gently, before setting them in her lap. One of the morning waitresses ran over ready to take orders.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

John looked over at Jodi, who was taking turns between a tall Bloody Mary, and a glass of water.

"Um...can I just get some coffee. Black is fine."

The woman nodded before running off to feth his drink. He stared across the table at Jodi who sat there biting her nails. As soon as his coffee arrived, she took a moment so that he could take a sip.

"John...there's something I need to tell you." she began.

"Okay but will you please let me explain?!" he began to panic. He couldn't lost her.

"It's not about you and Casey. It's about me." she felt the tears well up.

"Wait?...What?"

"John...last night...after I left the bar...I met up with someone."

"Okay...?"

"...And he took me home...and we had a few more drinks..."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I cheated on you."

".....What?"

"I....I had sex with someone else last night."

John sat there, trying to process what he had just heard.

"...Who?"

"El-Detective Stabler found me last night and drove me home. He was drunk out of his mind and I was buzzed too. We kissed and then it ended up being more..."

John stared at her. Her face was blank and emotionless even though he had no clue that tears were spilling from her eyes and were thankfully trapped by the sunglasses.

"You slept with Elliot? I'm sorry is this some kind of joke?"

"John I'm so sorry! I was just so upset about that kiss and the alcohol didn't help and I-"

"All I guess I can say is fuck you." he spat hurtfully before standing up, grabbing his coat, and simply walking away.

"John, wait!" she chased him out and grabbed his arm.

He spun around quickly and jerked from under her touch, giving her a look so menacing she felt a surge of fear zap through her chest.

"We're done." he growled before pushing her back harshly and walking from the bar, leaving Jodi alone. As soon as the doors closed behind him she pulled off the glasses and succumbed to the tears.

As she went back to her seat she noticed the bouquet was still there. She picked up the flowers and held them tightly to her chest before closing her eyes ans sobbing loudly. Now everything she had was gone.


	19. Bleak

**A/N: I DO NOT own any of the Law & Order franchise. Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah! So I really want to put in a section in first person so it'll be in this chapter.**

**Bleak**

Days fell off the calender. Each became a drunken haze of hangovers and sweaty sex in an attempt to dull the pain. Her day became a routine. Wake up with a pounding headache, go to the club and dance, drink for the rest of the night, fuck some stranger she met at the club that night then get up in the morning and do it all over again.

She'd written to her father once to tell him about their breakup and ignored all calls and letters of concern beyond that. She simply didn't want to be reminded of it anymore although she wore one of John's shirts he left behind every chance she got and still had the flowers he got her in a vase on her nightstand, wilted and lonely.

"Hey um...I just wanted to tell you were great tonight. Well you're always great I mean." some chattery brunette girl stammered nervously at the bar.

Jodi turned to look at her over her glass of whiskey at her admirer for the night. A cute girl who looked a bit older than her with glasses and a single braid down her back. She had a petite frame and reminded Jodi very much of Pam from _The Office_, only cuter.

"Well thanks sweetheart." she downed the rest of her drink and went into sex mode. The sex was the only thing that really distracted her from him.

"So you got a boyfriend?" she turned her stool so she was facing the girl and quickly placed a piece of gum in her mouth to get rid of the booze.

"Um...no." she looked around nervously.

"Girlfriend?"

"No."

"Hm. So what's your name?" Jodi asked rubbing her thigh seductively.

"Um...Sara."

"How old are you Sara?"

"24."

"Okay...so tell you what Sara. Why don't we go back to my place, on two conditions."

"Um...okay?"

"Alright. One, you have to be out of my house in the morning. Two, at some point and time you'd better show _me_ a good time."

"Okay?"

"Great. Let's go." Jodi grabbed her hand and stumbled for a moment as she struggled to catch her balance. Another night. Same old shit.

* * *

John quietly slid on his clothes, hoping not to wake up Casey. Not at all to her surprise, he came right back after his disastrous breakfast with Jodi. The past few days were nothing but stacks of paperwork and unsatisfying sex after what he had been used to with Jodi. The day he went back to work Elliot seemed to genuinely have no clue as to what happened and snapped at everyone with his impending hangover. John decided against saying anything, but told Olivia instead. He could tell Olivia was hurt herself that Elliot had slept with someone besides his wife and it wasn't her.

He walked towards her bedroom door and closed it gently, before leaving her apartment. It was still cluttered with boxes of her stuff which he had neglected to volunteer to help with.

He stepped into the cold night, feeling numb to everything around him. All he could think about was her. He had loved her. He thought he was done searching. After 57 years of bad luck, he had thought it finally ended, only to then be crushed.

Right after finally solving the case, dear old Cragen returned. It didn't come as a surprise that he knew John had been seeing Jodi still, although he showed no signs of knowing what they had done in his office. After sentencing John to desk duty for two weeks for disobeying orders, he congratulated him on successfully catching a serial rapist and dismissed him from his office.

Naturally, sitting alone at his desk all day was no help, because all he could think about was her. Every redheaded woman in New York made him do a double take. He'd caught and had to stop himself from driving to the club when he knew Jodi would be performing numerous amounts of times. Nothing helped. Nothing worked. Sex with Casey was just a pathetic attempt that resulted in even more pain.

Damn her. Why did she have to come into his life? Why did she have to make things so hard?

* * *

_2 Weeks Later_

John sighed as the woman in front of him took an eternity to order her coffee. How hard was it really? He was just about to say something before the cashier handed it to her. She turned around and almost ran right into John, who was only a foot behind her.

"Sor-" he began before he stopped. Her dull green eyes bored into him before she lowered them.

"Jodi?" he asked. He stared as she slowly lifted her face to meet him. She was barely recognizable. Her normally sparkling eyes were dull and dead. Her brilliant red hair now a jet black that worked with her tan skin but changed her appearance drastically. Beyond that, under her eyes were huge dark circles. Her cheeks were guant and hallow. She looked like she had lost too much weight too fast. She looked sickly. She looked ill. She looked like death.

"Hey buddy, would you mind either ordering something or getting the hell out of the line?" the man behind him snapped.

"I-Ishould go." she breathed before pushing past him.

"Wait!" he exclaimed chasing after her out to the sidewalk. He grabbed her arm just before she ran across the street. He wasn't going to lose her again. His hand slipped into hers and he clenched it tightly.

"John let me go." she said weakly.

Instead of doing so he pulled her closer. His arms slid around her body which was much thinner than he had remembered it. Her hair now smelled strongly of cigarettes, which he had remembered her saying she hated.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled into her hair as she continued to struggle against him.

"Just let me fucking go!" she attempted to push herself away again as her voice became more pronounced. She really wanted nothing more than to melt into his arms and just hold him forever, but reality didn't work that way.

"Jodi, stop!" he grunted before forcefully holding her against him. As her pushes became weaker, John grabbed her gaunt face and pressed his lips to hers. The moment they touched she stopped fighting and lost herself in his mouth.

He held her face and kissed her passionately. It just felt too good to have her in his arms.

As he pulled away he was shocked to discover his face wet. He looked down at Jodi to find tears falling from her eyes.

"I can't do this." she shook her head before turning to walk away.

He grabbed her again and pulled her back.

"Why not?"

"You deserve better. I cheated on you." she choked.

"I love you Jodi. I've told you that how many fucking times? I was mad as hell but I can't let you walk away. It's forgotten. Forgiven. Please...I need you."

She looked up at him. Forgiven. The word echoed n her mind. Did he really mean it?

His kiss answered her questions. As he wrapped his arms around her frail body. Her cup of coffee fell to the ground and someone swore beside them as his thousand-dollar suit pants got splattered in coffee.

She broke apart from the kiss and looked up at him like a startled fawn before taking off. John started to chase her but decided against it. He had other plans.

* * *

Jodi stomped down the stairs irritably as the doorbell rang and took a swig from the bottle of Smirnoff she was carrying around. She had people working in her home. Wasn't this their job?

After her run-in with John earlier that day. She'd ended up calling in sick for work and spent the rest of the day in bed crying and nursing a bottle of vodka.

She flung open the door and felt her heart stop as she stared into the warm brown eyes of her ex. Cradled in one hand was a bouquet of red long-stemmed roses, and the other he quickly slid into his pocket, dropping something in.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

Unable to say no, she moved over about an inch and let him pass through before closing the door behind him.

"I've been looking for that." he joked lightly grasping the sleeve of his shirt she had on. She looked down and turned red, just then realizing she had it on.

"Sorry." she muttered as she flushed. She got ready to take it off before realizing she had nothing on underneath it except a pair of boxers someone had left behind on one of her latest escapades.

"These are for you." he handed them to her awkwardly, like a teenage boy about to take his girlfriend to prom.

"Thankyou." she mumbled, her voice soft as a whisper. As she grabbed them she brushed his hand and let t linger before clutching the flowers to her chest tightly.

"...I missed you." he looked down at her. Her own eyes looked up to meet his, and John caught a slight glimpse of their original shine.

"Um...is there something you need?" she scratched her forearm jitterishly.

"Yeah there is."

"Well...what is it?"

"I think you can figure that out." he replied boldly before taking her face in his hands and leaning down to kiss her. Instead of pushing him away this time, she gently put her hands on his shoulders, hoping he would stay there. As like earlier in the day, the bottle fell to the ground with a loud smash as dozens of glass shards and hard liquor collided with the ground.

Instead of jerking apart John grabbed her thin body and pressed it against his to keep their lips together.

He bent down and picked her up, cradling her in his arms before carrying her up the stairs to her bedroom.

He set her down on the bed gently and got on top of her. Jodi closed her eyes, relishing the feel of being in bed with someone she cared about again. The past few weeks of meaningless and unfeeling one night stands and something that she vaguely remembered as what might have been a drunken threesome, she finally felt something

He grabbed the buttons of his shirt she wore and began to unbutton them. As he pulled it off of her he noticed the bones on her he had never seen before. Her collarbone jutted out sharply against her skin. Her ribcage stuck out beneath her still-luscious breasts. Multiple purple marks decorated her neck and he felt momentarily jealous as he thought of the people who had left them. On her chest was the deep scar she had been left with.

He kissed her again, slowly letting his hands travel down her body. She felt so familiar yet so foreign. He lightly pressed his lips to her neck, before trailing them down every part of her skin he could find before moving to the boxers she wore. He grabbed the waistband and pulled them down past her thin legs before throwing them harshly on the floor.

Her black hair spread around the pillow and framed her head like a halo. She sat up untucked John's shirt from his pants and pulled it off. She struggled to unbuckled his belt and whimpered in frustration before he gently took her hands and put them down and undid it himself. He pushed her down gently and got on top of her.

Jodi let her fingertips wander over his back and brush the soft skin on his shoulders. He sighed under her touch and closed his eyes. As she touched him he ran his fingers up her thigh, feeling the soft skin.

He slowly slid into her, feeling relief as her walls surrounded him.

He pushed in and out slowly, closing his eyes. Everything was dead to him except the feel of her body underneath him and the sounds of her soft moans around him.

"John." she moaned repeatedly, wrapping her arms around his neck. She opened her eyes, looking into his. He grabbed her legs and pushed them towards her, testing her flexibility. She held them back against her body, allowing him to plow into her deeper.

As they both lost track of all time whatsoever, John watched as the sweat beaded and pooled around her neck and chest, dripping from her hairline.

Everything stopped as they both tensed at the same time and shared each others climax. John fell next to her, breathing hard before sitting up and leaning over her.

"I'm so sorry." he apologized, stroking her damp face.

"For what?" she rasped, not having used her voice for anything other than singing in quite some time.

"Everything. I...I really love you."

"Me too. I just...I don't feel like you should take me back after the shit I pulled."

"I don't give a damn about that. I care about you. Not what you do. Everyone makes mistakes a some point and time. Sure, yours was...well a big one for lack of better words but...I love you. I need you."

"I love you too John. God. I never really thought I'd be saying those words before I turned forty." she began to feel like her old self again.

"I thought I'd be done saying them about twenty years ago but that didn't happen. I'm sure you're the last."

"Wow."

"Yeah...can you do one thing for me though?"

"Of course."

"What the fuck is going on with your hair? It looks like Snookie from _Jersey Shore_ except you're not a fat whore."

She laughed loudly. It almost hurt since she hadn't done it in so long.

"I'll get started on that right now." she grinned before kissing him and crawling out of bed. She raced to the bathroom in an almost energetic haze, a change from the usual drunken one. She stepped in the shower and started viciously scrubbing at her hair, trying to get the inky black out.

After and hour and a half she stepped out again. After watching the black dye swirl down the drain her hair had come as close as it would to her original color without professional help. It was now a dark red hue, but she knew it would fade in at least another week or two.

"Better." John commented as she walked out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.

"Hm." she snorted before jumping in bed, pressing her lips to his. It felt so good to have him there once again.

"You know...how often have you thought about marriage?" he suddenly asked.

"Well...I dunno. Not alot I guess."

"Would you think about it if I asked you to?" he asked, pulling a small box from behind her pillow.

"What?" she gasped.

He opened the box, which contained a small gold ring with a tiny diamond in the center of two gold swans.

"Will you think about it?" he repeated.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" she asked, sitting up.

"Think of it as more of a proposal...no pun intended. "

"...John..." she began.


	20. Acceptance

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. I originally intended on leaving the last chapter on a hang but...I couldn't do it. I was too excited.**

**Acceptance**

"…Yes!" she exclaimed before jumping on him. For once in her life she had never been more sure of anything. She loved him. She did really want to be with him for the rest of her life.

"Really?" he asked, ever so slightly shocked she was agreeing so quickly.

"Give me that damn ring!" she growled, answering his question.

He chuckled before pulling it out of its velvet cradle and sliding it onto her shaking finger. She squealed happily before standing up and jumping on the bed like she was in preschool.

"I'M ENGAGED!" she screamed before jumping out of the bed and bolting from the room. She ran around the house looking for someone to share the good news. She returned, breathless and flushed.

"I at least figured you would've wanted to think about it." he chuckled.

She stared at her now-occupied ring finger before screaming again and jumping on John. He fell back underneath her and laughed at her happiness.

Fate was such a funny thing. Only 48 hours ago he was trying to think of inventive ways to forget her and move on. It was only after running into her at Starbuck's that morning that he realized he just couldn't do that. He wouldn't let her go.

"John…oh my god I can't even…are you sure about this?"

"As sure as I'll ever be about anything."

"I mean…we've only been seeing each other for a month and a half…I just want to be sure you really want to do this."

"Jodi…I'm sure." he replied resolutely.

She smiled widely before squealing and jumping on him again.

* * *

John walked into the squad room positively beaming. He sat down at his desk and threw his coat over his chair.

"Good night?" Olivia asked, grinning from her own.

"Indeed." John replied before sitting down. Olivia glanced inquisitively at Fin who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Would you mind me asking what happened because you look like you drank a cocktail with every mood-enhancing drug on the face of the planet in it."

John chuckled before putting down the pen he had been twirling.

"Well, as of last night, I am officially off the market for all those women who've been lining up at my doorstep."

"Well…what the hell does that mean? You and Casey are dating?" Olivia crossed her legs.

"Casey?! No. Last night Jodi and I got back together…and I popped the question."

"WHAT?!" Olivia and Fin both exclaimed at the same time.

"I asked her to marry me." he shrugged nonchalantly.

Olivia and Fin both sat in shocked silence before Fin spoke up.

"Congratulations man." he stood up before going to hug his best friend.

"Thanks man." John replied, hugging him back.

Olivia sat tensely, debating whether to pretend she was happy for John or go ahead and speak her mind.

"John," she began as her feelings and concerns for him as a friend came flooding out.

John and Fin both stared at her, knowing she wasn't about to say something good.

"..Are you really sure about this? I mean…she's a nice girl but…she just cheated on you! And even if infidelity weren't an issue…well you've only known her for what a month? Month and a half?"

"I've though this through Liv. I mean…I love her. I want to be with her."

"Yeah. I can't make your decisions for you Munch. I just hope you know what you're doing." she sighed before standing up and walking away.

"Don't worry about it man. She's just lookin' out for you." Fin said to her retreating back.

"I know." John sighed before getting down to the mind-numbing work he had while on desk-duty.

All morning all he could think about was Jodi and the fact that she would eventually be his wife. He was in no hurry to get married, in fact he hoped she would wait at least a year until actually making plans. He just wanted to claim her as his for the time being and let her know that he did want to marry her.

Just as he was thinking about her his phone vibrated with an incoming text message. He opening it, ignoring the seemingly-knowing glance Fin gave him from across their desks. He chuckled as an image of Jodi brandishing the engagement ring popped up. He noticed her hair was back to its original fiery red color.

He texted her back with dinner plans, secretly hoping to get her to gain back the weight she had lost. She was never big, but now she had bones sticking out and it kind of sickened him.

"Have you told Casey yet?" Fin asked.

"Eh…no?" John suddenly realized.

"Well I'm thinkin' you should probably do that before she shows up at your house with a court-ordered summons or some shit like that. When was the last time you talked to her?"

"Probably when left her in the middle of the night two days ago."

"And she hasn't called you since? Maybe she's not as attached as I thought."

"Oh no she has…I've just been ignoring her calls." John responded as he stood up and grabbed his phone. He went up to the lounge for some privacy. He dialed her number confidently and stood with his other hand in his pocket as it rang multiple times.

"Casey Novak." she answered breathlessly, pretending she hadn't seen his name on her called ID.

"Case it's me." he said.

"Oh, hey John. Well…unless this is extremely important this isn't a good time. I'm in the middle of attempting to cut a deal."

"Oh well…I guess I'll just call you back later."

"NO! I mean…just tell me now, but make it fast."

"Alright Case well…we can't do this anymore."

"Huh?"

"Sleep around. We can't do it anymore."

She was dead silent on the other end of the line and John could tell she was both upset with his general statement and the fact that he didn't see their relationship as anything more than sleeping around.

"Last night I asked Jodi to marry me, and she said yes." he continued.

"Wow. Well…thanks John." her voice wavered before she quickly hung up the phone. He felt terrible, knowing how much pain he had just caused her but…what else was he to do?

*****************

Jodi giggled as she laced her fingers with John's over the table. John smiled. When she giggled, she had the slightest hint of a snort. It was cute and unique.

She kept her eyes locked on his as she took a sip from her glass of wine. The waiters came just as they got deep into their staring to take their orders.

"What can I get you miss?" he asked her, puffing out his chest. He stood at 6'8" with rippling muscles threatening to burst from his uniform. He moved and leaned forward in a conspicuous attempted to check out her cleavage.

On an average day, she would have been on him in a heartbeat, using every trick in the book, but she didn't even bat an eye. The man she wanted to flirt with most was sitting across from her.

"Excuse me if you wouldn't mind taking my fiancé's order instead of staring at her cleavage." John half joked, half-snapped.

The waiter blushed scarlet. He couldn't have been more than nineteen or twenty.

"How old are you kid?" John felt Jodi's hand tremble in his as she struggled to suppress her laugh.

"Nineteen." he replied, quickly recovering from being caught.

"Nineteen? Huh sweetie, what do you know…he's older than you." he continued on his mission to make the boy feel like shit.

The young man clenched his jaw and refused to show any emotion. Why was a woman with those looks and that body with a wrinkly stick-thin dude like him? He could tell she wasn't a gold-digger from the lack of jewelry she wore. What did this guy have he didn't?

"Are you gonna take my order?" she smirked, resting her chin on her free hand.

"Sure. What can I get you beautiful?" he attempted again, ignoring John.

"Well for one it would be nice if you stopped trying to flirt with me. Another is…well you should just know that he's a cop. The third…how would you say the sirloin tips dipped in red wine taste?"

John snorted into his glass of wine.

The boy was at a loss for words. He'd just been turned down by a woman. That was a first for him.

"Um…they're an excellent choice from what I've heard." he mumbled.

"Wonderful. I'll have those then." she smiled smugly before handing him her menu.

"Any particular way you want them cooked?"

"Rare please sweetie."

He nodded before taking John's order while looking at the ground. John smiled at Jodi as the boy slunk off, before rubbing Jodi's hand softly.

"Isn't your birthday this month?" he suddenly asked.

"Yes it is." she replied grinning.

"When?"

"The 26th. Day after Ch-…" she suddenly stopped, realizing the boundary of their nationalities. Christmas was her favorite holiday.

"Well how is this going to work?"

"How is what going to work?" John asked confused.

"Christmas and Hanukkah. Doesn't Hanukkah start next week?"

"Yeah…to be honest I've never really done anything big during the holidays. I'm usually at work. Why, what do you want to do?"

"Can we do both maybe? I really want you to come with me when I go visit the rest of my friends and family. Maybe you could help me decorate my house and go shopping and I'll help you decorate yours."

"Sounds different. I like it."

"Great." she beamed. Their first holiday together. She was becoming very excited to what the future would hold.


	21. Happy Holidays

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. Hope everyone had a great Christmas or whatever else you may celebrate. I know I did! And I am joyfully writing this on my new iPhone...which is good for everything except making calls. But...whatever. So since the case is solved I'm not quite ready to move on to a sequel yet and I'm attempting to make a new plot in here somewhere. I know the last two chapters have been kind of...eh. I've got a good idea for this one.**

**Happy Holidays**

"That's looks wonderful." Jodi commented as she stood back and admired her handiwork. After an endless day of decorating the living room was finally finished.

John wrapped his arms arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. She smiled happily as he buried his face in the nook between he neck and shoulder. The past few days had been unlike any they had together so far. They'd gotten closer. After repairing their relationship they had become stronger then ever.

"Like it?" she asked stepping in front of the tree.

"Yeah. I've actually never decorated a Christmas tree before."

"Well I hope you enjoyed it."

"Don't we have to out the star up still?" he asked.

"Yes. We do. I need a chair or something...unless you can lift me up there."

"I can try."

She leaned down to get the star then looked up at him.

"Up you go." he grunted as he grabbed her waist and lifted her up. After taking her out to dinner nearly every day for the past week, he had gotten her back up to previous weight. After working out two times as hard as well, she had gained extra muscle to counter the eating she had done as was more toned as well too.

She stuck the star on top of the tree before tapping his arms to let her down.

"Well this has been enjoyable." she breathed as she turned around, their faces centimeters apart.

"So what now?" he grinned boyishly.

"Hmm...you hungry?" she asked before kissing him briefly.

"Yeah I am actually. What have you got for me?" he replied, his voice becoming a notch huskier.

"That depends, what are you craving?" she played along, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He grinned before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. She giggled loudly as she hung upsidedown. John carried her to the couch and set her down.

Both of them laughed as they pulled each others clothes off. The past few days had been incredibly full of sex in everywhere they could imagine besides the bed.

As they made love under the hundreds of Christmas lights, she held his body close, with no intentions of letting go.

After they were done, the lawy there resting against one mothers body. Jodi kissed his chest tenderly.

"Well, now that we've wasted energy...you still up shopping with me?"

"Gimmie some time to regroup and I'll be good as new."

* * *

"What about this? You like?" she twirled around.

John watched as she spun around in a skimpy black dress that didn't even clear her ass.

"I wouldn't wear it in public." he smirked as she struggled to keep the top pulled over her nipples at least.

"Unzip it please. I feel like my lungs are constricted."

John carefully pulled down the zipper, his knuckles brushing her skin. She sighed under his touch, before ever so slightly arching her back so that her backside rubbed against his crotch.

His eyes rolled in the back of his head as his pants got tighter.

"You waant to don't you?" she moaned, feeling herself becoming extremely aroused.

He rubbed up against her before breathing in her ear.

"Do you have any clue what the hell I want to do to you?" he growled in her ear, hearing her whimper. After discovering that nothing turned her on more than him talking dirty, it was all he could do. He loved watching her squirm just by his words.

"And what do you want to do to me?" her voice strained as she struggled to contain herself.

"What I'm gonna do is I will fuck you right here in public. In this dressing room. I'm gonna listen to you scream and I won't let you come until you say my name."

She shuddered involuntarily at the thought. She felt herself begin to throb and wouldn't have been surprised if her panties were completely soaked.

"What do you mean you won't let me come?" she gasped as he ran his fingers in between her legs.

"You're going to need it fast and hard, and I'm going to make you beg for it."

"Oh god, fuck me now please." she begged.

John grinned to himself before turning her around and removing the tight dress and her underwear completely.

He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He quickly slid into her before thrusting slowly against her pulsating walls.

She attempted to keep her moans silent but found it almost impossible. She bit her lips as he moved inside of her closing her eyes.

"Do you want it harder?" John panted, trying to keep his own composure,

"Yes!" she cried as softly as possible, digging her nails into his shoulder so deeply he bit his lip.

"Harder." she moaned.

"Say my name."

"John." she complied softly.

"Louder." he replied, wanting to hear her scream it.

"John!" she repeated.

"Louder!" he grunted.

"Fuck me harder John!!!" she screamed loudly.

John began to hammer into her, pulling all the way out of her before pushing all the way back in. Her face flushed bright red as she neared her climax.

He bent down and pressed his lips against the scar on her chest.

She made a strangled noise as her body tensed around him. John grunted as he released himself inside of her.

They rested for a moment before he let her down. She quickly redressed herself before opening the door.

Several shoppers stood there, staring after hearing the heated cries coming from the dressing room.A store clerk glared at them evilly before going back and folding her clothes.

"I think I'm done shopping for now." Jodi sighed, getting all of her purchased bags together.

She grasped his hand as they walked out, ignoring the stares coming from every direction. Life was too short to pass on risks such as having sex in a dressing room.

*****************

Jodi knocked on the door of the Stabler home, praying it wouldn't be Mrs. who answered. After getting Elliot's address from Fin, she told John she had to go on a quick run somewhere.

To her surprise and relief it was Elliot who answered.

"Jodi...what are you doing here?"

After several days and John's indifference towards him, the memories of his drunken night with Jodi came flooding back.

"Um...I came to bring you something."

Elliot closed the door behind him and stepped out.

"Listen Jodi, I've got a wife, kids...I don't know what you're expecting but..."

"I just came to bring you something to apologize. Relax." she replied cutting him off. She handed him a giant gift bag,

"What's this?" he asked.

"Just a little something for Christmas. I wanted to thank you all the work you spent on my case and...I wanted to apologize for what happened. You may have been drunk, but I wasn't and I never should have let you jeopardize your marriage or anything."

"Wow..." was all Elliot could say, at a lose for words.

"Honey who is it?!" came a voice. Jodi's heart began to pound as Elliot's wife opened the door and stepped out.

"Um hi Mrs. Stabler, I'm Jodi. Jodi Stanford. Your husband here has been working on my case for the last few weeks and I wanted thank him for it. So I brought gifts for your family."

"Oh honey that's so sweet! Thankyou!" Kathy exclaimed before stepping out into the cold and giving Jodi a hug. Jodi squeezed her back, hoping somehow it would convey her remorse,

"Merry Christmas." Jodi smiled before stepping down and running across the street to her car. After Kathy went in Elliot continued to stare at her. There was something about her. He could see why John was so in love with her.

"Honey what are you doing out there?!" Kathy called.

Elliot watched her drive off before going back into his house.

* * *

"What's this?" Jodi asked as John handed her a wrapped box from behind as she was cutting up vegetable for dinner.

"Something for you. Open it." he replied before wrapping his arms around her waist.

She pulled off the ribbon and lifted the lid off the box to reveal two plane tickets.

"Wha-?" she started.

"I remembered you saying how you wanted to go back to Cali to visit your old home so I got us tickets."

"John!" she exclaimed before throwing her arms around him.

He laughed as she planted kisses all over his face.

"I love you so much!" she beamed in his ear.

"Those are for tomorrow so...get packing." he said before smacking her ass.

* * *

"I guess I can add this to the list of things I've never done." John grinned as he kissed Jodi. It was Christmas Eve and they were laying beneath the stars looking out at the Pacific Ocean from the beach.

Jodi smiled and kissed him. John gently traced the contours of her body. It was just them now. The entire day the bikini she wore stirred more attention then he liked. He couldn't blame them either. The top clung to her breasts and the bottom hugged her round ass, barely covering it.

"Hmm...would you add sex on the beach to that list?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I could if you wanted to...have you?"

"Yeah actually."

"What's it like?"

"....I vaguely remember having grains of sand in my teeth for days after."

"Ah. Well that sounds promising."

She giggled before kissing him again. The sound of the waves crashing around them boomed loudly. John took one of the straps of her bikini and pulled it down her shoulder gently. He kissed her shoulder gently, before pulling it down proceeded to move the other one down as well before untying her top and letting it fall to the giant towel they were sharing.

He kissed her large breasts tenderly, She moaned loudly as he sucked one of her nipples gently before burying his face in between her breasts and moving his lips down her sternum. He kissed his way down her flat stomach before gripping the strings to her bottoms and loosening them. He pulled them off and kissed her inner thighs. She grabbed a handful of sand. His lips brushed her sensitive spot. She whimpered loudly and grabbed a handful of his hair.

As he moved back up to her face she stroked the back of his head and neck. After kissing endlessly John finally parted her legs and began to thrust into her.

She moved her hands down his back staring up at the night sky as he moved inside of her. With as much strength as she could muster, she rolled over so she was on top. John put his hands on her hips, holding her as she rode him vigorously.

The sea breeze brushed her cheeks, battling against the beads of sweat forming around her face.

John stared at her under the night sky as she moved on top of him. The night sky over the ocean gave a blue tint to everything and her red hair whipped in front of her face, appearing toes curled and she pressed her fingernails into John's chest as she fought her climax.

John sat up and kissed her before he twitched and tensed inside of her. As soon as he moved she felt herself lose control as she joined him. She fell beside him, a moment later before wrapping her arms around his chest.

"Hey, what did you do about work?" she suddenly asked realizing the fact at once that he was in California, 48 states away from SVU.

"Oh I just told Cragen I was home with the swine, although I know he didn't believe me."

"Why?"

"Because I've made it very clear around the office of my beliefs that Swine Flu is just an invention of the government to keep the population down."

"Huh. Then why use it as an excuse?"

"In New York City? Swine Flu is an excuse from everything. Unless I perhaps said I was a terrorist. I would then get out of work for quite some time although I'd probably be spending it in Attica."

She giggled and rested her head on his chest.

"You know what I'm thinking?" he whispered in her ear.

"What?"

"Perhaps we should go back to our room before morning comes and we get attacked by the morning seagulls."

She laughed loudly before sitting up and redressing herself. She grabbed her flip-flops in her hand and stood up, brushing small sections of sand from her feet. John followed suit and grabbed the towel they were laying on and her giant tote bag. She swung it over her shoulder before grabbing his hand as they walked up the beach back to their hotel.

"Wait wait wait." she stopped just as they climbed the stairs to the parking lot.

"What?"

"What time is it?" she muttered before digging for her phone in her purse. She pulled it out then smiled before looking up at him.

"It's 1:27." she grinned.

"Yes...why is this number relevant?"

"Because...it's Christmas!" she exclaimed before skipping across the parking lot to the hotel doors. John jogged momentarily to keep up with her before they walked into the luxurious lobby.

"Miss I'm going to have to ask you to put those back on." one of the men behind the desk said as she walked past shoeless. She smiled at him before dropping them on the floor and sliding her feet into him then intentionally making them thwack as loud as possible. All the way back to their room she jumped up and down restlessly, like a twelve-year old who had just eaten a jumbo-pack of Sour Patch Kids. The moment they got back to their room she kicked off her shoes and jumped on the massive bed happily. John disappeared in the bathroom for a few minutes.

Jodi turned on the TV and sat back in the bed, with no plans of going to sleep anytime soon.

John walked back into the room with something behind his back.

"Merry Christmas." he said softly before getting in and handing a wrapped box to her. She looked down at it with confusion. He'd just gotten her an trip back to her hometown. What else did she need?

"John...you've gotten me enough already." she looked up at him.

"Well...I like spoiling you. Open it."

She smiled before opening the box, only to find a beautiful sterling silver chain with a diamond snowflake on the bottom.

"John..." she breathed, tears pricking her eyes.

"It's not much, but I remembered you saying how much you loved the snow and I thought of you when I saw it."

She looked up at him again with watery eyes. Why was he so good to her? With all her flaws and mistakes.

"I don't know what to say." she sniffed, running her fingers over the smooth and elegant flake.

"Here let me put if on for you." he smiled before taking it from the box and motioning for her to turn around. He fastened it around her neck as she held her hair up before she turned around and pounced on him.

"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much!" she exclaimed between kisses. As they fell back into the sheets he thought about how happy he had been with his exes. The internal answer to his inquiry was definitely not as happy as he was now or any other time he was with Jodi.

"I think I know what's coming next." he grinned, feeling her nipples get hard through the paper-thin fabric of her bikini.

"Hm. I've got an idea. she grinned before walking over to the dresser and knocking off everything.

"What the hell are you doing?" John chuckled.

"You said you knew what was coming." she eyed him, taking off her top before bending over.

John grinned before walking over to oblige her. Certainly better than he had ever felt with any woman.

* * *

Jodi took a deep breath before she got out of the car. The stone path her mother had put in shortly before her death was still perfectly intact, leading up to their small brick home.

John got out after her, looking around the neighborhood. It was picturesque. The azure sky overheard with nary a could to be seen. There were Christmas lights and decorations around them everywhere although the thought of snow was laughable. John was struck by the image of a gang killing and raping young girls in the home. It looked like a scene right out of _Desperate Housewives_.

She walked slowly up the stone walk. Nothing had changed. There was an old Buick in the driveway that belonged to Rosalie, a housekeeper her father had payed before going to jail to keep the house like it had been when they left it. In exchange Rosalie got to live thereas long as she wanted. Years later she was still there.

John caught up and put his arm around her waist, wishing he could know what she was thinking although it was written all over her face. He could see the terror and trauma as she remembered being raped and attacked there. He could see the homesickness as she longed to be back. The sorrow over her dead mother. The joyfulness of being back.

As they walked and stepped onto the front porch she rang the bell anxiously. There was a long pause and just as she was going to ring it again the door opened.

"Can I help you?" a short woman with an indistinguishable accent glared.

"Um Rosalie? Hi, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm Jodi Stanford. I used to live here."

Rosalie's face softened a bit before she smile.

"I'm sure you don't remember me either. I helped out around here right after you were born. Come in dear."

Jodi grasped John's hand and squeezed it as they walked into her old home. Plants covered virtually everything mixed in with mahogany walls and black carpet.

"In the living room here. I'm sure you remember where it is."

Jodi nodded in a daze. The old feelings and memories crept back. They were led into the living room where John and Jodi sat down on the red couch together.

"Can I get you two anything to drink or something?" Rosalie asked.

"No thanks." Jodi managed to choke out.

"For you?" she looked at John.

"No thankyou, I'm fine too."

"Okay then." she smiled before sitting down. "It's been such a long time. You've grown into such a beauty, just like I knew you would. And who's this?" she gestured to John politely.

"This is John Munch. My fiance." she smiled.

"Fiance? My word. Well I never thought you would be the one to get married before you hit twenty but...I was mistaken. Hello there John." she smiled and extended her hand.

He got up and shook it firmly. "Nice to meet you miss...?"

"Buolos. Rosalie Buolos."

"Ah. Nice to meet you Ms. Buolos. Is that Lebanese?" he asked listening to her accent.

"Yes it is. Everyone always guesses Pakistan. So what do you do for a living John?"

"I'm a cop."

"Ooo. Where at?"

"New York City. I work in a squad called the Special Victims Unit. We specialize in sex crimes and child abuse."

"Wow. How long have you been a cop?"

"About 30 years. Almost 40 I'd like to say."

"40? How old are you."

"I'm 57."

"57? Well Jodi...at least your not dating some twenty year old drunk who beats you." she said bitterly, remembering her own first marriage.

"Yeah. This place is just like it was when I left." Jodi looked around.

"Your fathers orders. How is he doing by the way? Have you talked to him lately?"

"Um...no actually. I've just had a lot of things going on. I'm going to go visit him as soon as I get back though."

"Make sure you do that. You're all he has left."

"Yeah, I know."

The made light conversation for a few more minutes before Rosalie left to let Jodi and John explore the house. He watched as she touched everything with stopped at the door of her bedroom and she took a deep breath before putting her hand on the knob.

"I'm here." John let her know, rubbing her back. She nodded sullenly before opening the door.

All at once the memories pummeled her. Her hand clenched on the doorknob and John rubbed her back again before grabbing her hand. She closed her eyes and walked into her old bedroom. Shades of pink and white decorated the entire room. She sat down on her old bed and looked around.

John looked down and noticed a series of faded red spots on the floor and he knew what they were from.

He sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She gave the tiniest nod before standing up.

"I have to get out of here." she breathed on the verge of hyperventilating.

He nodded and quickly grabbed her before the tears started. They rushed down the stairs back to the front door where Rosalie met them.

"Leaving already?" she asked.

"Yeah we're going to go now. Thanks for everything." John spoke for both of them before ushering her out of the door.

"Shit. I forgot my purse." Jodi muttered as soon as they got to the car.

"Do you want me to go get it?" he asked.

"No I'll be fine. I'll be back in a minute." she said before walking back up the stone path and knocking on the door.

John waited, leaning against the car.

"Excuse me." a soft voice came out of nowhere.

John looked up. Approaching him was a tall and thin woman with long red hair. She looked vaguely familiar although John couldn't place her from where.

"Can I help you?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes...the young lady you were with...was that Jodi Stanford?"

"Yeah it was. Why?"

"I'm Elizabeth. Her mother."


	22. Secrets and Surprises

**A/N: I DO NOT own any of the Law & Order franchise. I'm hoping this doesn't sound to soap-opery. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I wish you the best.**

**Secrets and Surprises**

"What?" John stared at her. The vague remembrance he now knew was from the picture on the wall.

"I'm Jodi's mother."

"Um...aren't you supposed to be dead?" he asked taken aback.

"It's a long story. How long are you guys staying for?"

"Until after her birthday."

"Okay. Here. Meet me at this address tonight. Preferably alone."

John took the scrap of paper and shoved it in his pocket.

"I'm sorry. Why am I following the instructions from you?"

"Your Detective Munch right?"

"How did you know that?"

"A friend of a friend. Please just meet me there tonight."

"Fine."

"Don't tell Jodi!"

"What? Okay look-"

Elizabeth gasped as Jodi opened the door and began to walk out. She turned and bolted, her red hair flying behind her and attracting more attention then anything he had ever seen.

"Who was that?" Jodi asked watching the woman flee to a house diagnolly across from them.

"Just...this lady looking for someone."

"Oh. Can we go now?"

He nodded then opened the door for her. As they drove off her glanced in the rearview mirror and he swore he saw a flash of brilliant red hair down the street.

**************

"I'll be back. I just have to run somewhere." John whispered in Jodi's ear.

She mumbled something indecipherable before rolling over and hugging a pillow. John got out of the bed and slowly began to redress himself before she woke up. He dug in his pants pocket to make sure the address was still there and set out. Just as he reached the door, he turned back to grab his gun, airing on the side of caution.

He stepped out into the night and walked to his car, praying she would sleep like a brick as she usually did.

He drove through the night. As he passed houses he could still see lights on with dozens of people inside. He looked down at his clock and realized it was only eleven at night.

He pulled up in front of a dingy diner and got out. It looked like a setup from a cheap mafia movie but he ignored his feelings and walked inside. Much to his surprise, the inside was about ten times cleaner than the outside.

He looked around for the streak of red hair he knew would lead him to Elizabeth. Just as he suspected he caught sight of her in a booth all the way on the opposite end.

He walked over and sat down at her table, saying nothing. She was wearing a black dress. John noticed freckles spattered across the bridge of her nose and was reminded of the cute ones Jodi had on her shoulder.

"Well I'm here. Would you mind telling me how the hell you know who I am? Or why you're not dead?"

"Can I get you anything?" a waitress asked.

"Uh, yeah...do you guys have fig milkshakes?"

"Yes we do I'll have that right out for you in a minute." she smiled before walking away.

"To answer your question, it's a long story."

"I have a feeling we'll be here for awhile."

"Well...Jodi and her father were led to believe I died when she was two months old. Car crash. I'm not sure what else he told her after that. The situation in truth was actually a bit different. I was caught up with some...things before I got pregnant with Jodi. I dated this guy who I could easily say didn't make his money the honest way. I'm also not very proud to admit that I helped him out on some things. Right before I got pregnant I was arrested and threatened with a life sentence unless I named names...and that's what I did. After more threats than I could handle I went into the WPP and moved to Augusta and I stayed there up until last fall." she stopped when the waitress reappeared with John's glass. He thanked her graciously before settling back down to Elizabeth's story.

"When I was finishing up paperwork to exit the program, I met someone in the office there. She was exiting the program as well and...we clicked. I asked her out on a date afterward and we met up. She told me she was an attorney for the state of New York and that she had just gotten out to testify against some guy from years back. We kept in touch afterwards and she told me about a new case she's been working on recently. Of course I had heard of it. Anyone with access to a newspaper or television knows about it. Then she told me there was one surviving victim. A girl named Jodi. That's when I knew Detective. I knew it had to be my daughter. I inquired a little further only to discover it certainly was my daughter. Alex and I began talking everyday again. She told me everything about Jodi. She told me how she was seeing an older detective named John Munch. When I talked to her last night she told me that no one had been in contact with Jodi except you. She gave me your number and I tried calling you as well and got no answer. Alex then told me you had called off sick from work and then proceeded to talk about how you were a conspiracy theorist and liked to rant about how Swine Flue was an-"

"Yeah just cut to the chase." he cut her off briskly.

"Well...I moved in across the street from my old home hoping to get a glimpse of my daughter at some point and time only to find out she was happily in New York. Rosalie gave me a phone call to tell me she was back to visit and she was with you so I ran outside."

"Okay...well a few questions. One...you were dating Alexandra Cabot?"

"I don't see how my sexual orientation is relevant."

"It's not. I was just wondering if we had the same Alex here. So, why tell _me_ all these things instead of Jodi herself?"

"Because Detective. Jodi has been led to believe I was dead for her entire life. Do you know how much pain it would cause her to discover I've been alive?"

"So why are you telling me period?"

"Because. Do you have any kids Detective?"

"No."

"Well, if you and my daughter ever have any you'll know how hard it is to stay away from your child when you love them more than anything else in the world."

"So you never checked to make sure she was alright after her attack when she was eleven?"

"Detective...her attack was a personal strike against me."

"I thought her brother was involved."

"He was. Nicholas joined the very gang I was running from. My cover story was weak, and some of the names I named...well it all pointed back to me. It was obvious. I had come down to Pasadena for a little time away from Maine and I was down there around the same time Jodi was raped. They contacted me right after to let me know that...well that they knew."

"Wow."

"Yeah....Detective Munch, you know there's a reason I asked you to be here besides storytime. I want to see my daughter."

"Okay..."

"Tomorrow morning. There's a really good beachside cafe. Here's the address." she scribbled it down on a napkin before sliding it across the table to him.

"What time?"

"Try and get there around ten. Also...give this to her for me. It'll make things easier hopefully." she handed him an envelope almost bursting at the corners. Jodi's name was scripted elegantly on the front, much similar to her own handwriting in fact.

"I'll get back to her now. Nice meeting you Elizabeth." John said before throwing down and twenty and standing up. Before she got to say anything else he walked away towards the front door. He only prayed that this would be better for Jodi than worse.

**************

"Happy Birthday!" John exclaimed as soon as Jodi exited the bathroom. He was sitting in the living room of their suite, staring at the huge glass panes that led to the beautiful beach outside.

"Thankyou." she beamed before jumping on him. He grunted momentarily, as her muscled wieght fell on his thin body, before adjusting himself so that she was no longer lying on his lungs.

"So...nineteen. I honestly can't remember back that far." He looked down at her body. "Stand up real quick." he demanded.

She crawled off of him and stood in front of him, confused.

"Do you know how good that looks on you?" he asked. She was wearing one of his shirts as usual, but this time she had absolutely nothing on getting home exhausted the night before the buttons were haphazardly buttoned and uneven. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head and as usual, she looked absolutely gorgeous.

She giggled before straddling him and pressing her lips against his. He pulled her onto his lap before putting his hands on the small of her back and pulling her as close to him as possible.

"So I was thinking....when we get back to New York...would you consider moving in together?" he asked, looking at her over his glasses.

"Do you even have to ask? Of course!" she beamed before attacking him with her mouth again.

"Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about." he said as soon as she broke the kiss.

"Okay?" she cocked her head to the side.

"Here." he lifted her off of him scooted out from underneath her so that he was on the couch next to her. He graped her hand and placed his on top of it.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing his change in tone.

"Um...nothing really wrong...it's. Jodi...it's about your mother."

Her face suddenly became tense and troubled.

"What about her?"

"....She's not dead."

Jodi narrowed her eyes. What the hell was he talking about?

"What do you mean she's not dead?" she snapped.

"Your mom didn't die when you were younger."

"John, I've been to her grave. She was my mother. I think I'd know if she was dead."

He sighed, getting into the mode he entered when with difficult perps and victims.

"Remember yesterday when I was talking to that woman outside of your old home?"

"Yes..."

"That was her."

"...Well it can't be. John, my mom is _dead_. Dead. Dead dead dead. She's not coming back."

"Jodi, she never died."

"Um. Okay. Do you need more sleep or something? Or is the pressure from your job getting to you because maybe you should speak to Dr. Huang or something."

"Jodi! I'm telling you the truth. Last night I went out and met with Elizabeth after you were asleep and she told me everything that happened. She wanted me to give this to you."

Jodi's heart stopped at the sound of her mother's name. John handed her an envelope with her name scripted across the front. It looked just like her mothers. Her mind began to make the connections. When she spoke to her father about it, he had always told her the body was to charred and mangled from the crash to even identify her. They had just figured it was her mother. As she looked at the envelope she noticed how it looked brand new. The color wasn't a faded yellow like it should have been.

"Oh my god." she put her hand to mouth as the tears came forth. Did her dad know? If so, why hadn't he ever told her. Did her mother even want her then, she began to wonder.

John put his arm around her and she flinched under his touch but didn't move away.

"She didn't want me." Jodi began to sob.

"That's not true. I'd tell you the whole story myself but I'm sure it's in there." he assured her, feeling his heart break at the sight of her tears.

She stood up without saying anything before going to the bedroom and slamming the door shut. She sat on the bed and tore open the envelope. About six folded and crammed pages fell out, each on pink stationary. She opened them up a was hit with a scent that came off the papers. It smelled floral. Maternal. Was it the kind of perfume her mother wore?

_**Jodi, you have no idea how hard it has been to stay away from you all my life. I loved you so much. I still do. When I was fifteen....**_

Jodi read on through the tale of her mother's life. Tears streamed down her face and she didn't bother to wipe them off. The realization hit her. Her mother had every opportunity possible to there for her. In all actuality she did in fact abandon her. It was her own fault. Her shitty decisions had led her to not be in her daughters life, not anyone else's.

John opened the door slowly and peered around it.

"You okay?" he asked softly. He entered the room just as she stood up and with shaking hands folded the letter and began ripping it into shreds. She walked over to the sliding glass door that led to an outside balcony overlooking the deep blue Pacific before opening the door and tossing the shreds out into the sunny California day.

She slid the door shut before brushing past John and going into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind her. John listened to the door closely and heard the sounds of water running. Underneath it he heard her soft whimpers as she cried.

He turned the knob slowly only to find it locked before giving up and going back to the couch. He thought long and hard about what he had just become entangled in. Should he really subject the woman he loved to possibly even more internal torture. He hadn't grown up with the happiest childhood himself, but he knew how devastated she was not having a mother. He knew she now felt betrayed and confused. He'd seen the same look in Gwen's eyes a few months ago when they were solving the Peter Harrison case.

***************

"You know, you've grown more beautiful than I imagined you would." Elizabeth observed over her coffee.

Jodi sipped her own tensely with one hand. The other rested on the table underneath John's.

After an hour in the bathroom crying, she opened the door only to walk right into John's arms. He hugged her tightly, apologizing for what had happened and anything she blamed him for. After sobbing into his sweater for ten minutes she finally turned and got ready to go.

The entire ride there itself was tense and anxious. He kept his hand protectively on her thigh, knowing he shouldn't say anything.

"Thankyou." she replied curtly before slamming her cup on the table. Some of the hot liquid spattered on the table and John wiped it up quickly.

"I wish I was there to see you grow up." she went on.

"Yeah. Too bad you weren't." Jodi snapped before crossing her legs. John looked at her intensely. He had never seen her so angry before. It was almost frightening.

"I know you blame me for not being there and I'm sorry. If I could change things I would." Elizabeth sighed sorrowfully.

"That would be because it was your fault. Your shitty decisions led to you not being there, not anyone else's."

She stopped as their waiter appeared with their food on a platter. After setting their food down and making sure everyone was okay, he left quickly, wanting to get out before a fight erupted at the table.

Jodi stabbed her fork at her omlette with sun dried tomatoes viciously before sitting back in her seat. Did the woman honestly expect her to just forgive her as if nothing had happened?

"Okay then...so...I see you've got a rock on your finger there. Engaged?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Obviously." Jodi retorted.

"....You know, when your father proposed-"

"Don't even _think_ about mentioning him." Jodi hissed. Her hand curled into a fist on the table and John removed his relocating his arm to around her shoulder.

"Oh...I'm sorry?" Elizabeth was taken aback.

"Sorry doesn't even cover it. Forget me. Do you know what the hell it did to _him_? He never remarried. He couldn't. The pain was too unbearable he told me. I remember growing up, the nights I would walk past his room and find him up crying. I always got the same answer. 'Daddy just misses mommy that's all.' You want to apologize to someone? Apologize to him. You fucked him over worse than you did to me."

Elizabeth turned bright red, and John felt sorry for her. He knew how much pain Jodi was feeling, but also knew Elizabeth was trying to make up for it.

The three of them sat in an awkward silence she attempted to say something again.

"I know things will never be the way they should between us, but I was hoping that you and I could try for at least something."

Jodi glared at her.

"You stayed out og my life before. Just do it again. I'm getting along fine without you."

With that she stood up and grabbed her purse, leaving her half-eaten breakfast there. John followed quickly before taking money out of his wallet. Underneath he snuck his card and scribbled down his cell when Jodi was far enough away.

"Give me a call to see how she's doing." he muttered before shoving his hands in his pockets and catching up with Jodi.

******************

"I'm so sorry." John mumbled as he walked out onto the balcony where Jodi had been most of the afternoon. She was now leaning over the railing watching as the sun set beautifully into the Pacific. The sky was different hues of purple, blue, yellow, orange, and red. In her hand was a glass of vodka she's been nursing.

"For what?" she asked.

"I feel like I completely ruined your birthday. I should have waited until at least tomorrow to tell you."

She sighed before turning around. She was still wearing the sunglasses she had worn all day but John knew she had been crying.

"I've had worse." she shrugged.

"Hmm." he replied before stepping closer to her and reaching for her sunglasses. She stopped him for a moment before melting under his touch and letting him. He pulled them off, revealing her bloodshot eyes.

"I just don't know what to do. I mean...of course I want to know her. I spent my whole life up until now wishing I knew and wondering what she was like. At the same time...it was her own fault. She could've thought things through but she didn't. She left me." her lip trembled.

A single tear rolled down her cheek and John wiped it away with his thumb.

"Why don't we just take it day by day? Do you know how hard it is for me to see you sad and have no idea how to help?"

"Day by day. Yeah."

John put his arms around her waist and kissed her momentarily.

"You know, you've still got four hours of birthday left, and I wasn't quite done surprising you yet." he smirked over his glasses.

"Really? I'm half intrigued, half afraid." she gave a small smile.

"Good. Wait right here and I'll be back."

She obeyed and sat down on a chair overlooking the beauty ahead. John returned five minutes later with huge wrapped box.

"This is for you." he set it down carefully just inside of the suite.

Despite her protests, she was unable to resist the huge gift. She quickly got on her knees and began ripping the paper off before feeling a tremor inside.

She hesitated before lifting the lid and shrieking with joy.

Cowering in the corner was a shaking Yorkshure Terrier. Her big black eyes stared frightfully up from under its mangled. It couldn't have been more than five months old and one of its legs was completely pink with strands of fur instead of shag like the rest and it was evidently previously abused.

"Police raided a home a couple neighborhoods a few weeks ago. Picked up this little girl and five others in even worse condition. I saw a sign for an abused animal auction on my way home last night and I gave them a call."

"John!...This is..." she was at a loss for words. She crawled over to the box and gently placed a hand in the box, trying to get it to come out. It whimpered pitifully and hunched against the cardboard.

"It's okay honey. It's okay." she coaxed in a caring voice. It sniffed her hand for a moment before looking up at her and moving towards it. She smiled as it crawled out of its protective area and ventured curiously towards her hand.

She gently put her other in and scooped it up as carefully as possible. It looked around wildly and whimpered before she held it lovingly to her chest.

"John this is amazing." she smiled warmly before walking over to him.

"Any idea what you want to name her?" he grinned.

"I dunno...why do I have to? You're the one who got her for me."

"Okay so we both name her."

"Souds good. Okay idea....hmm....Olive?"

"Olive? What the fuck kind of name is that for a dog? What about...Billie Lou? One of my exes."

"Eh, sorry but no....um...Cecile?"

"No. Absolutely not. Marlene?"

"...No. What about Sadie?"

"Sadie?"

"Like...short for Mercedes."

"That's actually...not that bad."

"Third times a charm."

"Sadie. Hear that little girl?" John looked down at her, cradled in Jodi's arms.

Sadie replied by cautiously sniffing John's hand before licking it gently. He grinned before kissing her furry little head.

"Wow...I feel like a parent now." she giggled.

The statement hit John harder than she meant. He looked up at her and thought about it.

"What's wrong?" she asked seeing the look on his face.

"Nothing I...I just...." he trailed off before he swallowed. What the hell was he thinking? What was going on.

"Did I say something?" she asked concerned.

"...No. I...nothing. I was just thinking about something." he continued.

"Well...what?"

"I've been married four times, and I really don't know how children never came into the picture."

"You mean...you're thinking about kids?"

"I don't know."

"Well...have you ever wanted to have them?"

"There was a time. I haven't really thought about it since then."

Jodi listened as he tap-danced around her question only answering it slightly.

"John...do you want kids?"

"....I dunno. Do you?"

"I'm asking you."

"Okay...maybe in a few years if you want to."

"Alright well...I should tell you now, the chances of me giving birth are close to zero."

His heart deflated.

"What? Your only nineteen!"

"When I was first raped...I don't like to go into the details but...to sum it up I ended up with cervical scarring so bad my doctor said that I'd probably never be able to have kids. It was only worse with me being raped the other two times by Scott Lucas."

"So...you can't get pregnant?"

"There's still a possibility!"

"But it's an extremely low one."

"...Okay look I'm sorry I even brought it up."

He shrugged before looking back down at Sadie who was resting her head in her arms. The raised voices and stress levels she could sense were frightening.

"We'll worry about it when we get there." he grumbled, feeling slightly downcast. He himself wasn't getting any younger. To find out the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was infertile before she even hit her second decade didn't help any.

Instead of harping on it and decided to push it away at least until after her birthday was over.

"I was just thinking..." she began, steering the topic in another direction.

"Yes?"

"I've spent New Year's Eve at Times Square every year since I moved here and I absolutely love it. I'm hoping you'll go with me this year?"

"Okay...although I have rather strong feelings about it."

"What?"

"Think about it. What reason is there really to draw thousands of people under a giant crystal illuminated ball other than to get everyone's picture and keep them under taps. The government has crafty ways of doing things."

"Okay." she blinked. Despite his crazy theories, John actually made them sound reasonable unlike the nuts who just sounded like they were spewing on and needed to take their medicine.

A strong gust of wind blew in and Sadie shivered. Jodi stepped into the suite and closed the door behind her.

"For the record, I already had an amazing gift before all of this." she smiled.

"What?"

"You."


	23. 2010

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. I also do not own any of the works that belong to the amazing muscians of the 1960's. Wow, so this is totally unrelated but I just saw James Cameron's **_**Avatar**_. **Oh my god. If you haven't seen it...GO SEE IT! It was beyond incredible. I like...it was like the worlds best orgasm. I'm sure I almost crapped myself. ****Go see it.**** I'll be seeing it a few more times. **

**2010**

"How far are we?" Jodi yawned as she woke up.

"Just hit Buffalo so...two hours."

After almost three days of driving Jodi smiled at the thought of how close they were to home. Both she and John were ready to pass out and that was exactly what they would be doing as soon as they got back to her place.

Sadie was cuddled in the backseat, sleeping in the corner.

"Okay well...wake me when we get there." she smirked before laying her head back on the window.

John quickly hit the master power button on his side and rolled her window down. She jerked back up as the freezing air slapped her in the face.

"What the hell was that for?!" she screamed.

"I've been up driving for the past fourteen hours while you were asleep. You're staying awake with me." he demanded.

"Well I drove 24 straight the night we left."

"I'm older than you."

She rolled her eyes before rolling the widow up and hitting the power button on the radio.

"Who said you get radio control?" John complained.

"The fact that you're forcing me to stay awake."

She turned to a classical station before putting her head back on the headrest and her bare feet on the dashboard.

"This music makes me tired."

She gave an exasperated sigh before turning again trying to find something they both liked. She hit a station playing Simon & Garfunkel's _Mrs. Robinson_ and stopped.

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips for a moment before setting it down. No matter how irritated they both were, he still found it impossible to keep his hands off her. She smiled and looked ahead. It was nine in the morning and the morning rush hour was just dying off.

"Tell me about work." she repositioned herself so that the top part of her body was facing him.

"What about it?" he asked seriously, hoping she wasn't going to ask him to discuss the heinous things he had to see everyday.

"Like...Elliot and Fin and everybody." she explained.

His heart pounded at the mention of Elliot's name but they had both agreed it was behind them.'

"Well...Fin...I started working with him in 2000. He replaced my old partner Monique. To be honest I hated every fiber of his being when I first met him but we started getting along after one 's...my best friend. Then there's Olivia...she's...I can't even find one word to sum her up. Incredible is an understatement. She really has a passion for what she does. Her mom was raped and she was the result of it so she really connects with victims. Then...well...I take it you know Elliot enough. I say that as facetiously as possible."

"I deserve that. What about Alex?"

"Alex? You'll be meeting her next week actually. She's...hard to get along with sometimes but...we deal. She and Olivia had something going on for a while a few years ago when she first started working with us."

"Hm. Sounds like you guys are a tight knit group."

"Well...we're basically together 24 hours of the day. Most of the week. I'm not sure how much time Elliot actually spends with his kids at home. That's part of the reason none of the rest of us never get involved with anyone."

"Wow. It sounds like a difficult job."

"Trust me it is. The things you have to see. The risks you have to take. I can't tell you how many times we've all thought about eating our guns."

"Well let's be glad you didn't, or we wouldn't be talking right now."

He grinned then looked in the rearview mirror. Sadie was awake and standing on her hind legs to look out the window. Jodi followed his eyes before unbuckling her seatbelt and turning around. She grabbed Sadie as gently as possible and brought her up to the front seat before rolling down the window to let her stick her head out. She hesitated before doing so to make sure Jodi wouldn't throw her out the window. It had happened once and she never wanted it to again. She remembered the sound of her old master's laughs when she slid off the door and into the driveway. She remembered laying in the grass wishing it would end and that she would either die or get new ones who cared for her.

Just as she thought about it Jodi stroked her head softly and she closed her eyes. Had she really found a new master that would love her? Time would tell.

******************

"Happy New Years!" Jodi exclaimed before turning to John and kissing him. All around them couples and complete strangers alike turned to do the same thing and an explosion of noise erupted in Times Square.

"The same to you." he grinned before pulling her closer.

"I think we should get going." she suggested as people started jostling past to get out of the rainy miserable night it had been. John nodded and put his arm around her waist. Having come late they were in the back of the crowd, but it was still chaotic.

"Do you want to go somewhere before we go home or just go straight there?" she asked. After returning from California both of them had hit Jodi's bed and stayed there for the better part of most of the day. When they woke up John called Cragen to tell him that he would be in the next day then started preparations for the move.

"I don't care. Do you want to go straight home?"

"Kind of. I don't want to leave Sadie home alone with all these fireworks going off. She might get scared."

"Yeah but your neighborhood is kind of far from here...and kind of obsolete."

"Okay John, will you please just decide."

"Fine. We'll go home now."

After going back to work and getting bombarded with questions from everyone about where he had been and if he was alright. He waved them off then got back to work.

In addition to them getting back, Jodi had been in an increasingly irritated and foul mood. John wasn't sure if it was just that time of the month or if it was because what had happened on their trip. He was leaning towards her cycle given the fact that they hadn't had sex since they'd gotten back, but to his dismay that was never really the answer to any problem a woman was having.

They got out as quickly as possible, seeing as to how she wore ridiculously high heels. Just as they reached the sidewalk someone bumped into John roughly, almost knocking him over.

"Excuse y-Detective Munch!"

He and Jodi both looked over to see a short woman. She had wavy brown hair and green-rimmed glasses.

"Mrs. Ericson." John smiled, remembering her. One of his most recent victims, Patrice Ericson, who was a ballet instructor at Julliard. After being assaulted right outside of her home she'd come to the SVU where they wrapped up her case in under three days.

"Oh how good to see you again. Happ New Years! You know, I can't say thankyou enough for finding the bastard that did that to me."

"All in the job." John shrugged.

She looked past him at Jodi, who was looking off into the distance.

"And who's this?" she asked looking at their clenched hands.

"This is my fiance Jodi." he tugged at her hand.

"Fiance?! Oh how lovely. Hello dear, I'm Patrice Ericson." she extended a hand.

"Jodi Stanford. Nice to meet you." she gave her trademark dazzling smile.

"You are absolutely stunning. You did well Detective." she smiled at John.

"Trust me I know." John grinned.

They made more polite conversation before turning and continuing their trek home. John thought intently. He remembered a few weeks ago when Elliot had mentioned he'd seen Jodi doing ballet in her studio...and that she was _really_ good. As he thought about how much she said she had loved dancing, and her incredible voice, he was struck with a thought.

He'd helped a lot of people in the city, and he didn't expect anything back in return but a favor here and there would be helpful. What if he asked Mrs. Ericson to try and get Jodi into Julliard? She was good enough...all she needed was a way to get there.

As soon as they got home she went in the bathroom and got changed before coming out and hopping into bed. Another night without sex.

Sadie crept in the room quietly and climbed on the bed, hoping it would be alright. She laid down at the edge of their bed and rested her head on her paws.

John slid under the sheets and wrapped his arms around Jodi. Her body was tense but she didn't move from his touch.

"I love you." he murmured in her ear.

"I love you too." she replied a few moments later. With that and the promise of a new year and new life together they both drifted off to sleep.

**************

"Um, hi Mrs. Ericson?"

"This is she, who's calling."

"This is John Munch."

"Oh Detective, hello! To what do I owe this call?"

John shifted from one foot to the other. Was he just supposed to come out with it.

"Uh, I'm not really sure how to ask you this."

"Ah. Well...you've certainly got my attention with that statement. Go on."

He sighed for a moment before looking down from where he was standing in the lounge. Elliot, Olivia, and Fin were scrambling around about something or other.

"It's about my fiance, Jodi."

"Alright continue."

"I don't mean to sound like I'm using you or anything, but I was thinking last night. See, Jodi is an amazing dancer, and I was wondering if you could think about trying to get her admitted into the school."

Patrice laughed loudly for a moment before replying seriously.

"Well Detective, that was bold. I hate to tell you but I don't have the power to simply say the word and have her in. Here's what I can do though...I'm taking your word that she is as good as you say. An audition. I'll let you know when, and judging by that I'll see if we can take her next school year and I'll see about a scholarship. How does that sound?"

"That sounds...fair. Thanks. Can I call you to keep in touch."

"Of course. Actually, I'll give you a call. I'd prefer if you kept this deal a secret too because I could lose my job here if this gets out in the open."

"Of course, Thanks a million."

"Anytime dear. Bye."

She hung up leaving John feeling almost ecstatic. If Jodi went to school there she could stop working at that club. Stop having horny drunks ogle her. That body was reserved for him and him only as her fiance.

He walked back down the stairs and went to his desk.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Cragen just got off the phone with one of the guards at Sing Sing. Lucas is dead." Olivia informed him.

"What?! How?"

"Suicide by the looks of it. He was in isolation too so it had to have been. Guard outside his cell said no one came in or out the the three hour window before they found him."

"How?"

"Hung himself with the coiled springs from his dead. Right before he went he left a little message too."

"Jesus. Well...what now?"

"Well now that he's dead he certainly can't testify." Alex said as she stormed into the squad room and threw a stack of folders down on Olivia's desk.

"Well, we have witnesses. Not to mention his boyfriend McIntry." Elliot snapped.

"True, but the evidence and witnesses except McIntrey are completely circumstantial. They saw the car, not him." Alex shook her head.

"What about Jodi?! She saw him the second time he attacked her!" John exclaimed angrily.

"Trevor was representing him and he's going to argue that while Lucas did in fact rape Jodi, it was only that one time, not the multiple rapes."

"So you're dismissing the charges?! What about the families of the dead girls?!" Olivia cried outraged.

"Unless McIntrey steps up to testify, there's nothing we can do."

No one said anything before Olivia angrily stood and and stomped away. Elliot glared at Alex before grabbing his coat and preparing to visit Andrew in his cell. Fin ran off after Olivia and John sat there quietly.

Jodi still had nightmares from time to time. It seemed like they'd only gotten worse after all this with Scott Lucas recently. At night she would kick and scream in bed before she's wake up gasping for air. John was always there to hold her until she went back to sleep. There was no way in hell he could let her rape go unjustified.

"John, I'm sorry. I really am. It's not a lost cause yet though. We just have to-"

He silenced her with a menacing look. Getting Andrew to talk would be near impossible. He stood up and followed the direction Fin had disappeared.

Alex was left standing in there. A few other cops around looked at her before getting back to their work. She sighed, not knowing what to do. She was always the bearer of bad news. Constantly and forever, and she got punished for it. Their only hope now was in fact Andrew McInthey. The odds of him pulling through for them were near zero. One could only hope.

***************

"Well, he's dead. The only regrets I have about the situation is that I wasn't the one who got the chance to do it. I just don't understand why they let him in solitary." Jodi said over the phone after receiving the news that her rapist had killed himself. She was in her dressing room preparing to go on.

"He tried to kill his cellmate. It was actually a huge coincidence seeing as to how his cellmate used to work with us."

"Really? Who?"

"This little fuckup named Dale Stucky. Worked with CSU. After he got angry because he screwed up he followed Fin and I when we were tailing a guy then killed an innocent girl on the beach and tried to pin it on the guy we were tailing. After that he tried to kill the guys lawyer, Fin and Elliot, and the judge who had let the guy walk free. Then he tried to kill Elliot again only to be thwarted by Olivia."

"Yeesh. Why didn't I hear about this?"

"It was a complete mess don't even mention it again. Anyway, you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Actually, look out for me around ten. I'm going to run up to the precinct to see you."

"Oh. Okay." her voice sounded more cheerful then it had in days.

"I'll see you later sweetie. Love you." she said before she hung up.

"Yeah me too. See you."

He hung up the phone then looked over at Alex. She had an extremely uncomfortable look on her face and he stared at her, wondering if she had just shit herself or something.

He followed her gaze up to the lounge where he did a double take. Olivia and Fin were standing against the wall. They had just broken apart from a kiss before Alex gasped and fled from the squad room.

John looked around in a confused haze. What the hell was going on? He shook his head and went back to his desk, hoping everything was just a bad dream.

***************

Jodi walked into the squad room beyond surprised to find it empty except for John and Fin. It was only ten but everyone was cleared out. Even downstairs it was mostly empty.

"Hey you." she grinned as she walked over to John's desk. He looked up at her and was stunned. After that nights performance of _My Moon My Man_by Feist she wore a tight red dress that stopped mid-thigh. Her red hair was a shade darker and stick straight. Because of it's darkened color it didn't clash with her outfit like it normally would have.

"Wow." John observed as she walked towards him. She grinned again then sat down on his lap and planted a much-needed kiss on his lips.

"Sure, just sit there and make me watch." Fin commented loudly from his desk.

"Sorry Detective Tutuola. Nice to see you." she pulled away looking over at him.

"You can call me Fin. You too." he smiled before glaring at John.

"So...where is everyone?" she looked around.

"I'm guessing it's the weather. Rapes and all kinds of crime in general usually go down when no one can get out of their house because it's blocked by two feet of snow."

"That makes sense." Jodi mused before crossing her lean legs like she did anytime she wanted to show them off.

John looked down the plunging neckline of her dress and raised an eyebrow.

"You know what, I'm gonna get outta here before you two start gettin' busy." Fin's lip curled before he got up and put his coat on and grabbed a couple folders.

As soon as he left Jodi turned and looked at John.

"So...are we alone in here?" she raised an eyebrow.

"....Yeah we are." John grinned. He leaned in to kiss her before she got up and sat on his lap, facing him.

As she kissed him he automatically felt his hands land on her quickly ventured his hands over her dress, touching every part of her body he hadn't gotten the chance to recently.

"So how fast do you think you can get us back to my place?" she whispered directly in his ear, making him shiver.

"I don't think I can wait that long." he replied before pressing his lips to her neck. Her unique scent of a mixture of citrus and spices drove him over the edge after not really being with her for so long.

She closed her eyes and threw back her head as his lips traveled from her neck to her chest.

She hummed happily before John grabbed her and stood up. He quickly turned her around and pressed his body against hers. A few days felt like an eternity.

He grabbed her breasts from behind, struggling to get her out of the tight dress. He grabbed the neckline and pulled it down around her waist, hearing the thin material rip a little with the force he exerted.

She gasped before he pulled up the bottom of her dress and bent her over his desk, just wanting to touch her.

He ran his fingers over her creamy skin before reaching for his belt in an effort to get his pants off as quickly as possible before turning her around again and grabbing her legs.

He plowed into her mercilessly, not even giving her time to react. She put a hand on his shoulder and balanced herself out with the other, before closing her eyes and screaming loudly as he hit her spot without even having to find it. It seemed sometimes he knew her anatomy better than he did.

"Harder Harder. Please." she panted as he rammed into her. He pulled her legs up higher they were well over his shoulder.

"Thought you were flexible." he chuckled into between breaths.

"Try me." she grunted through clenched teeth before he pushed her legs back until they were centimeters from her face. She held her ankles as he pounded into her as deep as he could.

Unlike Cragen's sturdy desk, John's rattled restlessly under the weighted motion of them both. He watched as things fell off but didn't even care as he thrusted into her. He moved faster until her screams drowned everything out including the sounds of the night outside.

After a few moments she gripped the edge of the desk with white knuckels as her body tensed around him. After a few more seconds he joined her and supported himself on shaky arms before falling back into his chair. She followed suit and collapsed against him before kissing him on the cheek.

"So...there's something I wanted to tell you." he said after he finally caught his breath.

"Yeah?" her green eyes met his brown ones.

"Well, you know that woman I introduced you to on New Year's Eve?"

"Mmhm."

"She's an instructor at Julliard."

"Okay...?"

"So I called her today and I was just thinking. From what I've heard you an amazing dancer and I know you're a good singer. Have you even thought about doing it for a living?"

"Dancing? Well I would love to. I just...doesn't seem like a....I can't explain it. I mean...this is the city of dreams. There are so many people here who want to do just that and how many actually make it? It just doesn't seem like a realistic goal which is why I never tried."

"Well, the woman I talked to agreed to try and see if she can get you an audition for the '10 to '11 school year."

Jodi sat up and stared at him. Of course she had dreamed of being a dancer most of her life. It was what she loved doing, but when she was only six she realized something: dreams weren't meant to come true. No matter how much she loved doing something, there was no guarantee of actually being able to do it. When she moved to New York she learned how many people a year came just to try and make it. She learned how many people actually did. It was then she decided to pursue something more realistic than trying to become something in a city of thousands doing the same.

"I-I don't know what to say, John. This is..."

"A kiss will cover it I think." he grinned.

She hesitated for a moment, still in shock before leaning in and kissing him as though it would be the last time. His fingers got lost in her hair and the rest of him got lost in her mouth. Her body felt like pure heaven and he wanted to keep her there forever.

As the kiss went from romantic to steamy he felt himself harden underneath her again and moved his hands from her hair down her back as the blood rushed downward.

"I love you." she moaned as his teeth sunk gently into her neck.

"I love you." he moaned into her ear before pulling her down onto his lap again so that she was facing him. He put his hands on the small of her back before sliding into her again.

"Safe to say you make my body feel like its about twenty years younger." he grinned as he felt her slick walls around him.

She replied with a satisfied moan before he grabbed her waist and began to push into her.

That was a helluva way to start out the year.

***************

**Wow, so as I was writing this and re-watching season 5, I realized something. I have a crush on every single major charecter on SVU. With the exception of Cragen. I do not like Cragen. And Dr. Huang. He is off the market. Of course I'm in love with Munch...but I also have a thing for Fin, Elliot, Olivia, and Alex. This is beginning to disturb me. I think I'm forming an addiction too....**


	24. Pressure

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise. New SVU this week! Olivia seems to be breaking out the kinkiness! That's three days from now though but I'm ready!  
**

** Pressure**

"Honey, is something wrong?" Jodi asked as she walked over to John at the table. The past two days he had grown increasingly sullen and quiet. She put her hands on his shoulders and rubbed them gently.

"Yeah I'm fine." he lied before taking a sip of his coffee.

The truth was being brought back to reality after getting off desk. His first field case of 2010. A seven year old girl, raped and slashed to ribbons. She had gone missing six weeks earlier and Olivia and Elliot had blindly tracked the perp up to Quebec and called the police to have him arrested and everything only to find out he had never left the U.S. at all. In face, he hadn't even left Manhattan. All the while he had been sitting happily in his apartment with little Anna-Leigh as his prisoner.

Although they caught him in one day, they learned he had gotten some of his evasive tricks from Scott Lucas, along with a growing number of criminals in the city. Now they were all employing trustworthy sidekicks who would aid in finding the perfect victims for the perp.

"John...you have no idea how badly I want you to be able to trust me." she said softly before getting down on her knees and taking one of his hands in hers.

He looked down at her pleading eyes. Just like Elliot, he didn't want any part of that world touching his home life, and he didn't want it touching her.

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I really don't want to bring the shit I have to deal with home to you. It's disgusting. Horrifying, the things that we deal with, and I don't want you having to think about it because of me.

She nodded for a moment before kissing his hand and standing up.

"Okay understand, but just know...I'm here no matter what. If you even need to tell me anything that's what I'm here for as not just your future wife but as your friend."

He smiled at her heartening words. He loved when she said things like that. Each day she did or said something to make him realize just how much he was in love with her. It was new to even him, and kind of scared him sometimes. He was never really one of those "in touch with your feelings" people and his emotions overwhelmed him at times when he was with her.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer and speaking his mind.

"Do you know how good your hands feel right now considering the fact that you haven't slept with me in two days?" she raised an eyebrow, the tables being turned completely.

"....Okay, tonight. I promise." John kissed her hand, feeling a little better now that he had gotten some of the issue out.

"Yeah you better, While I'm here slaving all day." she joked before kissing him on the cheek as he got up to head out. Today she herself would be sitting at home all day doing absolutely nothing.

"See you later. Love you." he kissed her before sliding on his coat and rushing out the door.

* * *

"Wow." John grinned as Jodi posed in front of the bathroom. She was wearing nothing but a skimpy lingerie set, with her red hair restored to its natural curls.

He stared as her lean legs continued endlessly and she sauntered over to him slowly.

"Remember what you promised me today." she reminded him, raising an eyebrow so that he went back to the sultry phone conversation they had while he was at work, leaving him fidgeting in his desk under Fin's questioning eye.

"Yes I do. Get over here." he growled before pulling her on top of him. She giggled before kissing him.

As he went for her bra strap she released an unusual sigh and he looked over at her. Her lids were fluttering and he had seen it enough to realize she was about to pass out.

"Jodi." he shook her forcefully.

She came back for a moment and shook her head.

"Sorry. I don't know what were we?" she smiled before diving for his lips again weakly.

He pushed her back. There was no way he was having sex with her when she looked like she was about to pass out.

"Maybe you should just lie down." he suggested, gently pushing her down off of him.

"John I'm fine okay!" she protested before getting out of the bed. The moment she stood up, she let out a loud gasp before collapsing to the ground.

"Shit!" she cried before getting out and running around to her side. He bent down and picked her up before looking down. A small pool of blood had already began to form from her panties and he froze, unsure of what to do.

He went and grabbed his phone before calling an ambulance. He grabbed a blanket then wrapped it around her body which was surprisingly heavy at dead-weight, before getting redressed himself.

After grabbing his things he carried her downstairs to the front door, waiting for an ambulance then called Fin and asked him to meet him at the hospital. As the sirens approached the neighborhood for the second time in the last few weeks and gripped her body tightly, feeling the warm blood on his arms. Whatever was wrong, it didn't seem good.

*****************

"Detective you can come in now." Dr. Stern said as he opened the door to Jodi's room. John immediately jumped up and rushed into the room.

"Is she alright?" he asked immediatly, the panic evident in his voice.

"She'll be fine but...I'm very sorry to tell you this Detective but...the baby didn't make it."

* * *

**Well now that I've hit the twenty chapter landmark, that will be the final ending to this story. The sequel will pick up right from this scene. Look for it. Love, Loss, Life.****See you soon! I'm waiting to post it so the anticipation builds. Look for it about a week after I post this! Whenever it is I do that seeing as to how it's now two weeks later and I still haven't. Ta-ta!**


	25. New Story!

New Story!

The sequel to this story, (Love, Loss, Life) is now up! I have a couple chapters written, but I'm not sure what you'll think, so let me know. Thanks!


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